


You Don't See It?

by ImperiumWife



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-05
Updated: 2015-07-21
Packaged: 2018-01-18 05:22:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 60
Words: 118,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1416631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImperiumWife/pseuds/ImperiumWife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Barney notices something that the rest of the group is oblivious to. Will he convince them that it true? And what will the outcome be? Could Robin really be pregnant? Barney and Robin's journey in becoming parents. A (sadly) AU that I started almost a year ago. Canon divergence starting at the end of season 8.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What is going on here?

Barney awoke with a start. His heavy eyes open to glance at the bedside clock. 4:37. 'Why am I awake?' he thinks still half asleep. He turns towards Robin's side of the bed, hoping that the comfort of being near her will help him go back to sleep. It is then that he realizes she is not there. He starts to panic, until he hears her fumbling around the bathroom. 'She wasn't feeling well last night,' he remembers.

* * *

The six of them were at Marshall and Lily's for dinner. It still seemed weird to him to say the six of them, since the Ted had finally met "the one", but they decided on a triple date. They gathered there because Mickey was out of town at a game convention, and Lily did not want to get another babysitter.

He and Robin had met there, because she had to work late, which to him seemed unusual. It was only the past few weeks that she had been working late. No one else seemed to notice though, so he thought that there must be nothing to it. Still, he couldn't help but be curious. Since their agreement after their engagement that they were not going to hide any feelings, they had told each other everything. Or at least he thought they did. He tried asking her about why she was working late, but every time he asked her, she would always tell him that she was just feeling tired and it was taking her longer to get her work done than usual. He believed her, because she had seemed malaised at home, but something about the whole situation seemed like she was hiding something from him.

When Robin arrived, she did not look well, and he was concerned, especially with how tired she had been lately. He could tell that she was trying to live by his rule: When I get sick, I stop being sick and start being awesome instead. The fact that she was trying to be awesome instead made him love her even more than he already did. She walked in the door and very quickly excused herself to the bathroom. He got up off of the couch where he was sitting with Ted and Tracy, to follow her to the bathroom.

He could hear her duress, and even though it was nowhere near Lily's velociraptor noises, it was still not a noise that he enjoyed. Especially when he knew she was going through a lot of pain on the other side of the door.

"Robin? You ok in there?"

"Yeah," she timidly replied. "You can come in if you want."

He didn't waste a moment. He wanted to get to the bottom of what was making her feel ill. He kneeled next to her on the floor.

"What's going on?"

"Just some food poisoning. I think the worst is over."

"Are you sure you just don't want to go home and get some rest? I am sure that everyone will understand."

"No, I have actually been looking forward to this. I feel like we don't get to see them much anymore. I really want to try to make it through the night."

"Ok. We'll stay. But promise me that you won't let trying to be awesome get in the way of you feeling better."

"I promise," she replied as she weakly smiled up at him. He smiled right back.

He helped her up off of the floor. She went to the sink to clean up. He waited for her at the door. He just couldn't believe how beautiful she was, even when she was sick.

As they returned to the living room, the teasing started.

"Geez guys, can't you wait till you get home?" Marshall said with a huff.

"Yeah," Lily said, "I really don't like when you do that in our bathroom. I really don't have the time to clean tonight." While he appreciated the jokes, after all, he had a reputation to uphold in front of the gang, Robin clearly wasn't in the mood.

"Lily, we weren't doing that," Robin replied softly. "I'm not feeling well."

"Oh, I'm sorry." The look on Lily's face radiated embarrassment and worry. Was there more to this than he thought? "Are you going to be ok? Is this still the same thing from last week?" Lily asked. Last week? He didn't know anything about last week.

"I don't know really. I think I am just being really unlucky lately when it comes to food poisoning." So she was sick last week? It was a scary thought that he had absolutely no idea. And why did she feel the need to hide it? What else was she lying to him about? 'Cut her some slack Barney,' he mentally told himself. 'She just didn't want you to worry about her.' She should know that he worries about her no matter what, and the thought that that she lied to him about it was making him cringe inside.

"Well, let me know if there is anything I can make for you instead, like a cup of soup."

"Ok."

Robin joined everyone at the table for dinner, but she didn't eat a thing. Honestly, he could tell that she had a hard time making it through even half of the meal without feeling the need to run to the bathroom. Barney really didn't want to force her to leave, but he could tell that she wasn't doing well.

He leaned into her and said, "I think that we should go home right after dinner." She smiled sweetly back at him and nodded in agreement.

The rest of the night was uneventful. They left immediately after dinner, and Robin went to bed as soon as they got home. While this was usually very much unlike her, early evenings had become the norm. He spent a few minutes catching up on his work emails and updating his blog before turning in himself. It took him awhile to fall asleep, however, because he was worried about Robin. Something just wasn't adding up to him. Now that Robin wasn't beside him, he was even more anxious.

He could hear the bathroom door open as she silently walked back to bed. She climbed in and snuggled up next to him. Her in his arms gave him just enough peace to go back to sleep, but not before thinking that tomorrow, he will get to the bottom of this, no matter what it takes.


	2. Dead Ends

"You got it Stinson?"

"Yeah." Barney hadn't caught a bit of what his coworker was saying. He was entirely preoccupied with the developments of the evening before. 'It is a good thing that my office has a surveillance system,' he thinks, that way, he can catch up on his work later.

He starts to write down everything that he can think of that has been out of the ordinary lately. First and most obvious to him is Robin's nausea over the past week or two. He isn't sure how many times her "food poisoning" has come up, because she hasn't told him about it. Second, is that she is tired all of the time. 'These two symptoms are so common,' he tells himself to avoid disappointment, because there wasn't much that he could do to find out about what was causing them. For all he knew they weren't even related. He tried typing them in a symptom checker he found online, and the results seemed like they included every single disease known to mankind. 'Well, so much for that,' he thinks. He knows that he needs to come up with more symptoms if he is going to figure it what is wrong with her. The worst part was that he hadn't really noticed anything out of the ordinary besides them.

"Come on, Barney, THINK!" he exclaims to motivate his brain to come up with anything. It is a good thing his secretary has the day off, or she might have broken down the office door to check on him. He thinks that maybe he should start with the beginning of her day and work from there. He thinks back immediately to this morning.

* * *

Barney's alarm went off at 6:15 am as usual. What wasn't usual was that Robin was out of bed and already in the bathroom. It wasn't long before she was walking across the bedroom to climb back into bed for their typical morning wake up sex. After the night that she had, he wanted to be sure that she was well enough for sex.

"Morning," he muttered as he smiled at her. "We don't have to do anything this morning, you know that right?" Of course he wanted sex, but he also wanted her to feel the best that she could.

"I know. I still want to. I actually feel pretty good today, you know. I still don't know what was up with me last night. Anyway, you know I just start my day off wrong without you."

"Robin, answer me honestly. Are you sure you are ok? If you aren't feeling sick anymore, why were you in the bathroom just now?"

"Barney, I know you're worried. I'm fine." He knew that Robin only said that when she wasn't fine. "I just had to pee that's all. This is the sixth morning this week that I had to pee so bad I woke up early. I am starting to feel like Lily."

"Alright. Then come here, so we can start our morning off right."

* * *

"Huh," Barney thinks as he looks back on it now. 'She mentioned having to pee all the time. I guess that would count as a symptom.' He adds it to his list, and to the symptom checker website that he is using. He still gets nothing.

All of a sudden, there is a knock at the door. He looks up from his desk and there standing in his office doorway is the beautiful woman in the flesh. He had been so preoccupied that he had completely forgotten that it is time for their weekly lunch date, let alone that it is anywhere near lunch time.

"Hey there," he says to her, giving her that seductive smile that she always enjoys, and always gets her in the mood to do something in his office bathroom. He knows that he could definitely be up for a little something, something right about now.

"No, no, none of that right now. I am way too hungry to do anything but eat," she chides like she is kind of pissed at him for even suggesting it, which is completely unlike the Robin Scherbatsky he knows.

"Aww. Alright," he replies. He wants her to know that he is bummed about their lack of pre-lunch nookie. Their lunch dates always start off with sex in the bathroom. Now that he thinks about it, this is the second week that this has happened. She said she was really hungry last week too.

He quickly goes back to his computer to make a note about her sudden hunger while asking, "So where do you want to go for lunch?"

"I don't know, but I can tell you that I don't want to go to the sushi place we went to last week." He walks to the door to join her, and they walk out of his office and towards the elevators.

"Really? You love that place."

"Yeah, I know. I normally do, but just thinking about that place is making me want to hurl."

They have just gotten in the elevator by themselves when he asks her. "Is this because of the food poisoning? Is that where you got it from?"

"Nah, I just am so not in the mood for sushi. How about one of those amazing burgers? You know, the one that we followed Marshall around the city for that one night? I would kill for one of those right now. I have been thinking of one since this morning, maybe even since last night. You have no idea how hungry I am right now."

"Ok, Scherbatsky. I am good for that. Just don't literally kill anyone on the way."

"Yeah, yeah."

'Mental note: also starving, having cravings and aversions to food. I must remember to add that to the list when I get back.' He leads her out of the lobby and onto the street to get her the best burger in New York.


	3. Even More Symptoms

The cab ride on the return from lunch is surprising for Barney, to say the least. From the minute he and Robin exit the restaurant, she is all over him. As soon as the door is closed and the cabbie has his work address, she straddles him. He would have expected this on a day where they didn't get their pre-work sex in, but today they did. Not that he is complaining about that. He isn't going to deny that the loves the exhibitionist side of her, but it was a long time since she had wanted to give a cabbie an eyeful, and especially not during the day.

"Looks like someone wants a little bit of dessert," Barney cajoles her.

"Shut up Barney, you know you want me." She immediately smashes her lips into his while grinding down into him. Barney knows he is going to have to turn her down. After all, it is only a 10 minute ride. Having sex now would only leave enough time for a quickie, not to mention this cab isn't the cleanest of cabs. Besides, there would be a lot more reward for both of them if they could get into his office. Turning her down isn't going to be easy though. He breaks off the passionate kiss.

"We could wait until we get back until we get back to my office."

"You of all people are turning this down." She looks at him angrily. I guess he didn't realize just how horny she is.

"No, I am not turning you down," he says to her, while he brushes his fingers slowly up her thigh. "It is only a 10 minute cab ride. I think it is more important for us to do this right, than try for as quick a time as possible in this cab." He then whispers into her ear, "plus my office is much cleaner than this cab."

He can tell that she is extremely disappointed. She really wants him right now. It is hard for him to believe that after two years of being together, she still wants him this much, and he wants her all the same.

"You're an idiot, Barney."

"I love you too Robin." She slides off of his lap, but that doesn't mean that he has to stop touching her. He grazes her thigh with his fingers in the remaining few minutes of their journey.

* * *

Now that they are back in his office, he knows that things are going to get crazy. Ironically, he finds himself thanking Ted right now, for being the architect that designed this building. Ted managed to create an office for him that is completely private and perfect for these afternoon getaways. He doesn't have to worry about the glass door anymore. He still has his couch, a larger private bathroom, and great deal of windows, but most importantly, he could close all of those windows off to the rest of the building and lock the door. With the way Robin was acting earlier, his first order of business when they arrived is to activate those blinds. By the time the blinds are closed, she is lounging on his desk in just the slutty lingerie that he imagines she put on this morning with him in mind.

"Wow," he utters. He can feel himself rearing to go at the mere sight of her, yet he can't help but stare at her. They have been married for over a year now, and she is still the most beautiful woman that he could have ever imagined. Every curve is just perfect on her and she is a sex goddess. There are times he can't even keep up with her, and this is one of those times for sure. Even her perky breasts are exactly what he always wanted, just the right size, despite the fact that the gang always thought he liked the biggest boobs imaginable.

Today is killer for him though. The way her breasts are spilling out of her bra makes it too much to handle him to handle. He is sure that they never looked quite like that before, almost like they are growing. He thinks it must be a new bra. He walks over to her and plants a passionate kiss on her lips while he strokes his hand up her thigh to reach the place that makes her moan. He touches the silk of her panties lightly.

"Is that a new bra?" he asks before he moves his lips to her neck all while continuing to touch her.

"No, it's old," she pants trying desperately to catch her breath and not scream at the top of her lungs from want. "Why?"

"I just don't remember you looking quite this hot in a bra. It's like boobs everywhere. It makes me want you so much right now."

She reaches out to him to remove his jacket, and unbuttons his shirt so fast that in her haste she rips two of buttons off. It is one of his favorite shirts too, but there is no time to mourn. She is ready for him and she just looks so hot, but he can't help but want to touch. He reaches around to unhook her bra, and she sighs with relief. He extends his hands to touch her breasts, while gently thumbing her nipples. She flinches away in pain.

"Please don't do that," she hisses. "You know I normally like that a lot, but it hurts today." She gasps for air. "For some reason."

"Ok..." he pants unsurely. 'I wonder if that is something too.' He files the comment in his head for later, and gets to the task at hand, enjoying his extremely horny wife.

* * *

Now that he is sitting back at his desk, with Robin long gone but her smell still lingering, he tries to remember all of the clues he gathered throughout their lunch date. He looks at the list he already has. Nausea, fatigue, frequent urination...

He adds to his list. Food aversions, food cravings, hunger, tender and swollen breasts...

'Five,' he thinks. He somehow managed to find 5 symptoms over lunch. He makes the additions in the symptom checker, but unfortunately it is still of no help. None of the diagnoses that appear make sense. Urinary tract infection, PMS, Diabetes, acute stress reaction. "No sense at all," escapes his lips.

He thinks about going to Lily about all of this, but something tells him that Robin would just be upset with that. He realizes that maybe he should just type the list into Google to see what happens. In just a few clicks, the results make him stop dead in his tracks.

"Oh my God, Robin's pregnant."


	4. Pregnant

The words on the screen swirl in his head. Pregnant, pregnant, pregnant. He clicks on the link for the Mayo Clinic, because it is one of the few he trusts. Pregnant, pregnant, pregnant. The word keeps repeating over and over again. Pregnant, pregnant, pregnant. He reads the article, and strangely it all makes sense. Everything that has happened over the past few days makes sense now. This is not at all what he was expecting to find when he promised himself he was going to get to the bottom of this.

He takes a deep breath, and then the questions come. 'She is on the pill. She never wanted to have kids. Do I even want kids? Why hasn't she told me? Why is she hiding this from me? She told me the last time. When was the last time she had a drink? Has she been to the doctor? How far along is she? Why didn't I notice these things before?' His brain is on overload with questions. He thinks that he needs to calm down and have a drink. He grabs the flask from the bottom desk drawer and takes a swig. He is going to be a dad.

"Calm down Stinson. You can do this."

He thinks about how he is going to broach this subject with her. She has obviously been hiding it from him, so he wants to go into the conversation with her knowing that he is excited about this. He is excited. He is going to be a dad, with Robin. He knows that she will make a great mother. Her interactions with Marvin prove that. The first time she held him, she didn't even want to put him down. They are ready for this.

Yes, the last time they thought she was pregnant, it was not the best of situations. They had cheated on their significant others with each other. She had turned him down afterwards and stayed with Kevin. He did want to have a baby with her back then, and he still does. Robin, however, thought she wasn't ready to be a mom.

It was a relief in the end that she turned out not to be pregnant. Looking back on it now, he knows that neither of them were truly ready back then. Now though, they could be parents together and start the next part of their lives as a family. Honestly, he likes the way things turned out. Who knows if they would be even be married right now if she had been pregnant then.

He knows, though, that there was a part of her back then that wanted to be pregnant. Yes, they weren't together and she stayed with Kevin, and yes, it was rough to be around each other, but the few times he did see her, he could feel the sadness emanating off of her. From the time she ran out of We-Be-Babies when Ted showed her the maple leaf onesie, to her last minute New Year's Eve broadcast where she talked about wanting 2011 to be over, he could tell she was depressed about not being pregnant. There was a part of her that was terrified, but another part of her really did want to have a baby.

The question is why she is not telling him now. Does she possibly think that he might be scared about this? He has to show her that he is on board about being a dad. He comes up with a plan. He takes the rest of the day off to finish it.

The first stop on his way home is We-Be-Babies. His goal is to buy the maple leaf onesie. He knows that now, she will be happy to see it. He walks into the store, locates it, and afterwards is drawn to the wall of stuffed animals. His eyes catch an adorable stuffed beaver that he just knows that Robin will love.

Second, he stops at the florist. He decides on three dozen red roses, one dozen for each member of their future family. His last stop is at the bodega to get a bottle of sparkling grape juice before heading home.

On his way home, he calls her and asks her what she is thinking about for dinner.

"Hey Scherbatsky, what's up for dinner!" he boasts excitedly in the phone. He is trying to ignore the fact that she is not telling him, but today, nothing can spoil his mood. He is going to be a dad.

"I don't know. I could really go for some fettuccine alfredo from Delarusso's." He figures this is probably a craving. He hopes that they can tell Lily soon, so they can get advice from her about how to help with the cravings.

"Sounds great! Are you going to be home early tonight? I think you could use the night off."

"You know, I really could. I'll be home by 6, ok?"

"Sounds great. I'll have dinner waiting for you."

"Thank you Barney! I love you."

"I love you too. I'd do anything for you remember?"

"Of course I remember. See you at six."

"Yes, see you at 6."

Six. That means he has one hour to pick up the food and get the apartment ready for a soft candlelight dinner.

* * *

When Robin arrives home that night, Barney is standing in the living room of their now candlelit apartment holding the roses he bought earlier. On the coffee table is a beautifully wrapped gift box containing the purchases he made at from We-Be-Babies. As she walks in the door her face is a mix of questioning and glee.

"Barney? What's all this?" Her questioning look changes to all smiles.

"I just wanted a night at home with you to make you feel better."

"Barney," she stutters confused as the smile disappears from her face. "It seems like a little much just to cheer me up."

'Of course,' he thinks to himself. She always has been one to not see the beauty in the grand romantic gesture.

"I mean presents? Really, Barney?"

"Yes. There is something I really need to give you. Just open it, okay?" Barney whines in the child-like way he does when he doesn't get his way.

Resigning to Barney's antics, Robin sits down on the couch with the present in her hands, while he puts the flowers in a vase on the kitchen counter. He returns to the couch.

"So, what's in here? It's a little big to be jewelry."

"It's better," Barney squeals excitedly. "Just open it."

She unties the white ribbon on the box and places it on the table. She timidly opens the pastel wrapping paper. She opens the box. At that moment her face turns white.

"Barney!" she whispers. "What the HELL IS THIS?" She ends in a scream.

"Robin," Barney says confidently and sweetly, trying his best to be supportive. "You don't need to lie to me. I know you're pregnant."

"I'M NOT PREGNANT!" Robin screams as she throws the gift down on table. She throws herself on her feet in anger and storms to the front door. "For you to even suggest that..." she seethes with tears streaming down her face as she slams the door, leaving a shell-shocked Barney by himself for the second time that day.


	5. What did I do wrong?

Barney stands staring at the door for a few seconds after Robin storms out. He doesn't know what to think about all of this. She just left. She screamed at him and ran out. He was so certain that she is pregnant. Almost one hundred percent certain. Why would she do that? There is something he is missing. What is he missing?

He knows that the next thing he needs to do is call Lily. He needs a female opinion, and while Lily isn't good with secrets, she has always given him good advice on Robin in the past. Besides, she has seen some of the things that have been going on with Robin these past few weeks. Maybe Robin even told her what is going on. Barney takes his phone out of his pocket and dials.

"Lily, I need your help."

"What's up Barney?" Lily asks hurriedly . She even seems a bit tense.

"Can you come over here for a few minutes?" Barney asks, trying to hold back his exasperation. The last thing that he needs to do was make her mad too.

"Uhh, sure Barney." Lily can tell that something is up with Barney. He never calls her out of the blue like this. "I am in the middle of giving Marvin a bath, so it's going to be a while."

"Can you have Marshall do it? I really need you right now." Barney pleads hoping it will work and make Lily come over immediately.

"Uhh, yeah. I will be over as soon as I can."

"Thanks Lil."

* * *

Twenty three minutes later, Barney hears a knock on the door.

"Come in," Barney mutters just barely loud enough for Lily to hear. She enters the apartment to find Barney crying with his knees pulled up to his chest. His blatant disregard for his suit shocks her.

"Oh god, Barney, what happened?" Lily questions, sounding intensely concerned. Now that she is here, she is deeply worried. She scans the room and notices the candles blown out, the roses on the kitchen counter and the wrapping paper on the coffee table.

"Robin stormed out," he sobs. He still doesn't believe that she is this upset about all of this.

"What did you do?" Lily asks with her 'where's the poop' voice. He kind of wishes now that he never called Lily. She instantly blames him for everything. Why? It isn't like he did anything wrong here. Robin is the one that stormed out. He just knows that he will be blamed for this. Lily has a way of making him feel like one of her former kindergarteners, and there is nothing he hates more than being reduced to a child. Maybe he should have called Ted. Ted does know a lot about Robin, but he probably would have gotten a lecture from him too. Ted always gave him "dad" lectures.

"I had this whole romantic night planned, and then I gave her a gift and she threw it down and walked out," Barney says being able to hold back the sobs a bit.

"What was the gift Barney?" He knows that he is going to have to be honest with her if he wants help dealing with this. He doesn't want to be honest. It is just going to make Lily more upset with him. He isn't quite sure if he is ready yet, either. How would Robin feel if he shared this secret? Maybe there is a reason she hadn't talked to him about the whole thing. He really didn't want to make her anymore angry with him than she already was.

"I..I..I..." Barney stutters not wanting to reveal it just yet. There was too much at stake.

"Barney?" It occurs to him, though, that maybe Lily really can help him. He looks down at the table.

"It was this," he mumbles as he hands her the onesie.

"BARNEY!" Lily screams with shock and anger. He sinks back in fear. It is almost as if she is giving him her 'dead to me' look.

"WHY IS EVERYONE YELLING AT ME?" his childlike voice emerges. She really can turn him into a child whenever she wants.

Lily gives Barney a few moments to recover. She really didn't need to yell at him that way. Maybe he really has no idea why this would make Robin upset. Did Robin ever tell him? 'Maybe this really isn't his fault,' she thinks.

"Why did you give this to her?" Lily questions, trying to let him reveal this in his own time. He needs to work out his feelings, because whatever happened here, hurt him more than she originally thought.

"I..I.. don't know. I guess it wasn't a good idea." He mumbles again. She tries to pry harder. She knows prying is now necessary if she wants the whole story. She needs the whole story.

"No, not really, Barney. I will ask you again. Why did you give this to her? The whole story. You want my help, you need to tell me."

"Fine. You know how she has been coming home late from work because she is so tired she can't get her work done? And how she has been sick lately?" Lily nods in agreement. She noticed something has been off with Robin lately. Maybe Barney knows something and confronted her about it. It still doesn't explain the onesie. "Well, I decided that I was going to figure out what was wrong with her, and... and she's pregnant."

"Ohh." Lily lets out quietly. "Ohhhhh," she says with an air of realization. He really has no idea about Robin's infertility. "And this is how you decided to tell her that you knew."

"Yes, and now I've royally screwed things up. She told me she wasn't. She was so upset. Why did I do this? WHY?" Barney is very distraught at this point. He really wishes he could go back in time and never look any of this up. All it really got him today was a whole bunch of heartache. It sometimes seems that his whole life has been heartache, well, except for Robin, of course.

"Barney, can I ask you a question?" Lily says tentatively. She knows that asking this question is like venturing out onto thin ice. "What makes you think that Robin is pregnant? I mean she said it was food poisoning, why didn't you believe her?"

"It is just a mix of everything. She's moody, she's been so tired, she's craving these weird foods. I mean she turned down sushi today. Sushi, Lily! When has Robin ever turned down sushi? For a hamburger, of all things." Barney rambles so fast, like he used to when he was telling the story of a bimbo that didn't believe one of his stories.

"Barney." Lily says quietly, trying to get Barney to stop. She can't bear to see him keep going like this.

"I mean, come on. Not to mention she is always saying she has to pee. It's like I'm living with you again." He adds more forcefully to the conversation.

"Barney," she tries again, a little louder and more forceful this time.

By this time, Barney is full out screaming. "And she wouldn't even let me touch her boobs today. She said they hurt. That NEVER happens Lily, NEVER! She always lets me touch her boobs. ALWAYS!"

Lily looks at him pensively, like she is considering his evidence. Robin can't be pregnant. Lily knows this. She would believe him if she didn't know about Robin's fertility issues. If it were Tracy having these symptoms, she would be breaking her maternity clothes out of storage to lend her. But she knows it is impossible for Robin to be pregnant. She can't believe that Robin never told him about all of this. She figured they talked about it. She had no clue that Barney was in the dark about this.

Lily decides she needs to let Barney down easy. She thinks back to that Thanksgiving that he and Ted tried to adopt a baby. She realizes that he really does want to be a dad.

"Barney, that last part about the boobs really wasn't necessary, but I don't think Robin is pregnant." She stops to let the information sink in. She takes a deep breath before continuing. "I'm so sorry."

"What do you mean? She has all the symptoms!" He yells back at her.

She tries to figure out what to tell him. She obviously can't tell him. It isn't her place to tell him. Why Robin didn't alludes her, but it is Robin's secret to tell. She learned before that she needs to stay out of their personal lives. They are adults. She timidly collects her thoughts and gives him the best piece of advice that she can think of. "Barney. Just be careful with all of this ok. I think there is more to this than Robin is telling you. You really need to talk to her about this. Without having expectations."

Barney looks at her, puzzled. He was afraid she was going to say something like that.

"What do you mean?"

"Barney. You need to talk to her whenever she decides to come back. That is all I can say to you right now. Ok?" Barney realizes in that moment that Lily is hiding something. What does she know? "Just remember we all love you no matter what happens. Now I need to get back home. I have a lot of things on my plate tonight. I am so sorry."

"Thanks for coming over," Barney says to her dejectedly as she walks out the door.


	6. Where did she go?

Now Barney is just feeling worse about the whole situation. "Well, Lily was really no help." He wonders what he is going to do about this now. It has been an hour, and he doesn't have a clue where Robin is. He tries to call her, but with no luck, as he hears her cell ringing from the bedroom. He calls the bar and the shooting range, but has no success there either. 'Where else would Robin go? Maybe she tried to find Lily. Lily would be the first person that Robin would seek out in a situation like this, if she felt like talking. So he calls Marshall to see if she showed up there looking for her.

"Hey Marshall," Barney sighs.

"Hey buddy. Lily on her way back yet?" Marshall asks casually.

"Yeah, she just left. Did Robin happen to stop by, by any chance?"

"No, I haven't seen her."

There are a few moments of silence.

"Okay. Hey Marshall? Can I ask you a question?" Barney proceeds cautiously.

"Sure. What's up?"

"If I were to say that Lily was sick, was moody, needed to pee more than usual, was tired, was craving weird foods and her boobs were bigger, what would you say?"

"WHY? DID YOU SEE THESE? IS LILY PREGNANT AGAIN? OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT! AND WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT LILY'S BOOBS AGAIN? OH MY..."

"MARSHALL!" Barney has to shout to bring Marshall back down to earth. "I'm not saying that, Marshall, no. Calm down for a minute. And thanks for answering my question."

"Huh? What question?" Marshal questions, very confused at Barney's statement.

"Those are pregnancy symptoms," Barney states obviously.

"Yeah, of course. Every father knows that." Marshall digests the information for a moment. "Wait. Why are you asking?"

"I think Robin might be pregnant."

There are a few moments of stunned silence on the other side of the line as Marshall gasps for air. He has no idea what to say to that.

"Uh. Barney?" Marshall squeaks out, using all of the air he can find.

"Yeah?"

"Just be really careful with Robin if you decide to approach her with that idea." Marshall tries to say it cautiously. He doesn't really want to get involved in this. This is the kind of thing that Lily does, not him.

"Uh, too late," Barney says with a nervous laugh and a cringe.

"Never mind then." Marshall is just happy to walk away from this conversation.

"What do you mean, Marshall?" Barney questions.

"Never mind Barney. I think you really need to talk to Robin about this, not me."

"That's funny. That's what Lily said too." Barney starts to wonder if there is some sort of conspiracy going on against him. But in all honesty, he doesn't like to feel like work has bled into his personal life.

"Haha. That's because we are one person," Marshall says awkwardly. He really would like to end this conversation. "But seriously Barney. You need to talk to Robin."

"Ok." Barney sighs. "I will. If she ever comes back."

"I'm sorry Barney. She will come back." Marshall is convinced that she will be back. He knows what they have is real, even if they are a bit unconventional.

"Bye, Marshall. And thanks."

"You're welcome. Bye, Barney."


	7. One More Opinion

Ok, so he needs to talk to Robin, but apparently that isn't an option right now. He isn't even sure how he is going to talk to her about the whole situation again. He really needs some more advice. Unfortunately, there is only one person left to call: Ted. He doesn't always like talking to Ted about Robin, because that means having to admit a little bit of fault for not knowing her quite as well. Ted always likes to brag that he knows Robin so well. In this case, it might not be a bad thing, so he calls Ted.

"Hey Ted, you busy?"

"That depends. If you are calling to hang out at a strip club, my answer is yes, I'm busy." He figured Ted would give some sort of pretentious answer he wasn't in the mood for.

"No Theodore, don't be so cocky. I need some advice."

"Oh. Well, Tracy and I were just about to meet for dinner at the bar before we head back out of the city for the night. Do you want me to come over?" Ted wonders what this all could be about. Barney just doesn't ask him for advice.

"Yeah. I could really use that." He stops and thinks for a second. "Do you think Tracy would mind joining us? I could use her opinion too."

"Sure. We'll be over soon." Ted thinks something about this is really weird. Bringing Tracy into this is certainly unusual. He hopes that Barney is being as serious as he sounds, and he isn't asking for advice on how prank his neighbor.

Barney sinks back onto the couch. Right now he is so concerned about Robin, and well frankly about the baby that might be as well. She seems to be in denial about this, and for some reason, so do Marshall and Lily. Maybe Ted will be able to explain why this is happening.

He sits for what seem like hours waiting for someone to show up, either Robin or Ted and Tracy. The thoughts about what could be and what is and isn't are really messing with his head. In reality though, it is only a few minutes before Ted and Tracy arrive.

Ted enters the apartment, followed close behind by Tracy. Ted sits down on the couch next to Barney and Tracy sits down in the chair.

"Barney?" Ted treads cautiously. He doesn't think he has ever seen Barney upset like this.

"Yeah?" Barney mumbles.

"What's up?" Ted tries to get Barney to say anything.

"Hmmm?" Barney murmurs.

"You called us over here for advice. Now what's up?" Ted interrogates, getting a bit annoyed that his and Tracy's dinner has been interrupted by a now not talking Barney.

"Oh yeah," Barney murmurs. All of a sudden though, words explode out of Barney. "There's something going on here, and Ted, frankly, I think you are in on the conspiracy against me right now."

"Okay..." Ted stutters out.

"So no opinions until I ask for them!" Barney shouts. He turns his attention away from Ted and onto Tracy.

"Tracy, you haven't know us that long, so I doubt you have any idea what is going on." Barney says causally to Tracy. He doesn't really want to blame her. He is sure that she has nothing to do with this. Now, Ted on the other hand...

"I don't either, Barney." Ted states, a bit aggravated with the whole situation. Barney turns to glare at Ted.

"Shut up Ted," Barney spits back. "I said no opinions until I ask for them."

Barney focuses his attention back on Tracy. "What would you say is wrong with a woman who needs to pee constantly, is getting 'food poisoning' every other day, is moody, turns down one of her favorite foods for something she doesn't eat often, and is so hungry she is eating the weirdest things?"

"Hmm, that kinda sounds like you..." Ted lets out with a giggle.

"Not now, sweetie." Tracy cuts off Ted. Tracy glares over at him, and the silent conversation continues between the two of them. Barney notices what is going on between them and brushes it off. He can deal with that later.

"Uh, back to me please." Barney interrupts.

"It sounds to me like she would be pregnant." Tracy replies sweetly, now back on track from her silent conversation with Ted.

"Thank you!" Barney answers with a shout. Tracy just proved his point, yet again.

"Wait," Tracy says, stumbling across her words. "Is this about Robin? Is she pregnant?" Ted lets out a muffled snort when she asks.

"What was that about Ted?" Barney remarks snidely.

"Yeah hun, what was that about?" Tracy questions.

"Uhhh... nothing." Ted tries to catch himself. He wasn't sure if Robin ever told Barney about her inability to have children, but now he guesses not. "Nothing at all. Is that what you think Barney? You think she's pregnant?"

"Yes." Barney says dejectedly. He isn't sure why he is dejected now, but somehow it feels like he is wrong, after all four of them confirmed it. He must be wrong if they can't see it. But he was so sure earlier.

"Uhh, Barney?" Ted says.

"Yeah?"

"Just be careful with this. Just go easy with Robin." Here it is again from Ted. Another person warning him to be careful with Robin. What the hell is going on?

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Barney shouts again. This is really starting to piss him off.

"I think you need to talk to her about that," Ted replies simply.

"And that too. What the hell is going on here?" Barney really wants to know. He really needs to know. There shouldn't be any secrets here.

"You need to talk to Robin." Ted states as gently as possible.

"Fine." He sulks down on the couch like a six-year-old, complete with the pout on his face.

"Honey?" Tracy says quietly to Ted.

"Yeah sweetie?"

"Can you go get us a cab? I want to talk to Barney alone for a minute."

"Okay..." Ted looks at her like she can't be serious. He doesn't think that there is any more to talk about.

"Please," she urges him.

"Sure. See you downstairs." Ted turns reluctantly and leaves the two of them sitting in the apartment.

"What's really going on Barney?" Tracy questions him.

"I don't know," Barney replies with a melancholy voice. "I really wish I knew right now."

"Does she really have all of those symptoms?" she asks. He cocks his head a looks at her. He thinks for a moment that she might see it too.

"Yes." He states. "And more I didn't mention." He watches her as she thinks about what he just said.

"Do you remember when she got her period last?"

"Not for certain, but now that I think about it, it has been a while."

"Barney?" She looks at him, wondering.

"Yeah?"

"I think you are right."


	8. You do?

"You do?" Barney looks at her. The look of happiness on his face shows Tracy that he was never expecting her to agree with him.

"Yeah. I have noticed some of them, too. I mean, she's got pregnancy boobs if I have ever seen them and I can kind of even see a bit of a baby bump."

"Really?! You can?!" Barney squeals with the first bit of hope he's had since he talked to Lily.

"Yeah. I brought it up to Ted a few weeks ago, but he kinda blew me off."

"A few weeks ago? Really?" Tracy noticed weeks ago. Weeks ago. He thought that she was only a few weeks along. "Have I been missing it that long?"

"Yeah, I guess. The thing is though, the conversation Ted and I had about it was weird. Almost like I was out of the loop about something and he didn't want to tell me. I have a feeling you are having the same problem," Tracy implies. Of course Ted would hide something from her.

"Yeah, I kinda am. Hence, why I am asking you about it," Barney responds.

"I got really curious about the whole thing after he wouldn't tell me. I needed to know more, so I went to talk to Lily about it. Same deal as Ted. She told me I was just looking into things too hard and that Robin was definitely not pregnant."

"You don't think she is hiding something from me do you?" Barney asks, almost afraid of the answer. They were supposed to be truthful to each other now.

"I don't think so." He breathes a sigh of relief. He is about to respond when Tracy cuts him off. "I take it you tried to tell her about it, and she ran off?"

"Yeah. How did you know?"

"She seems to be in a classic case of denial, and so does everyone else. I don't think that she has any idea that she is pregnant, even if she is." He looks at her. He never even considered that she was in denial. Robin is a person who always used to deny her feelings and keep them inside. Why would this be any different? Especially since it is something that he knows she doesn't want. Why are the four of them in denial? Why can Tracy see it when Lily can't? Lily is one of the most observant people he knows. There is something wrong here, and he needs to know what it is.

Maybe Robin really doesn't see it, though. Maybe she has a reason to deny it all. He isn't sure what it could be though, and the thought scares him. And then the most horrifying thought crosses his mind. What if the baby isn't his? What if she cheated on him, and she doesn't know?

Tracy suddenly brings him back to reality. "Why? I have no idea. I don't know what everyone knows that we don't but it has to be something to make them ignore everything. I don't know what else to tell you Barney. I don't want to sound like a broken record, but you do really need to talk to her."

"I know," Barney sighs.

Tracy's phone vibrates. "That's from Ted. He has a cab. Call me if you need any help."

"Thanks, I will."

Tracy goes to the door.

"Barney. One more thing."

"Hmm?"

"I have a really good feeling about this. Congrats."

"Thanks." He smiles gently at the door. He doesn't know what to think anymore.


	9. Central Park

Robin doesn't believe it. All it took was one look at that stupid onesie to bring all those thoughts, inadequacies, feelings, and doubts to the surface. One. Stupid. Look. Here she is almost three years later sitting on the same damn park bench that she imagined those stupid kids of her and Barney's on. Back then, she had nothing. If someone would have told her three years ago that she would have her dream job and be married to Barney, she never would have believed it. Her life is perfect now. She got everything she ever wanted. But here she is, back on this goddamn bench again, crying over the fact that she can't have children. She thought she made her peace with this a long time ago. She did. She didn't ever want to have children, yet here she sits, crying about it yet again.

Now that she thinks about it, it really has been a while since she thought about what happened that fall. Yes, every once in a while she looks at Marvin and thinks about what might have been, about the fact that she and Barney would have a 2-year-old if things had been different. But she always thinks about it with a sigh of relief that they don't have a 2-year-old. They have a great life right now. They might not even be married if they had a toddler. And as much as she wanted to have a baby back then to feel that connection with Barney, she knows now that she didn't need that at all. They were fine all on their own, and they would be fine on their own forever.

But Barney just confused her with that damn onesie. It could never be. Her body closed that door. And she certainly didn't want to be a parent without being the one that brought the child into the world, without that child being half her and half Barney. Why couldn't Barney just accept that?

And that is when it hits her. She can't blame him. She never told him about not being able to have kids. How could she have forgotten that? They promised each other that they would never lie to each other, and that they would talk about their problems, and here she's been, omitting the truth the entire time, not telling him her biggest secret. She didn't even realize that he didn't know. She told Marshall and Lily when she was questioning Kevin's proposal, and she told Ted when she broke down about the broken engagement. She and Barney were barely on speaking terms at that time.

It seems so odd to her now that it was such a big deal for her to tell Kevin about it before accepting his proposal, and yet it never occurred to her to tell Barney. A part of her thought that one of the others wouldn't be able to keep their mouths shut about it. It was so stupid of her. STUPID. She brought this all on herself. Not only that, but she could have told him so many times, but she really thought he knew, so why rehash something that was bound to upset her?

She finds her mind wandering. What if Barney is right, though? What would it be like right now if she wasn't infertile? Would she want to be pregnant? Sadly, the answer to that question is yes. She would want to have Barney's baby right now. She would love for them to be a happy little family. But since she knows it is never going to happen, she can't imagine what baby of her and Barney's would look like, because it can never be.

She needs to stop thinking about it. She decides it is time to go home, face the music of her past mistakes, and apologize to her husband. She stormed out, and now he is probably worried sick. She really needs to get home soon before he has the chance to do anything drastic, because it is all her fault.


	10. Mistakes Made

Barney has just drifted off to sleep on the couch when the sound of the door opening awakens him.

"Robin." he says worried, but trying to keep his distance because she was really angry with him earlier. He doesn't want to cross a furious Robin. She stands by the door, not quite ready to step down off of the ledge into the apartment yet.

"Hi," she says timidly, also not knowing where things stand between them.

"Where have you been?" Barney feebly questions.

"Nowhere," she dismisses with a huff as she steps down into the apartment to sit on the couch with him. "It's stupid."

"No, it's not Robin." He learned after the wedding debacle with Ted that when Robin says it is stupid, it really isn't. "Where did you go?"

"Central Park," she pauses, not sure if she wants to continue, while Barney gazes at her intently. "I've been sitting on a bench for the last few hours thinking about all of the things I've done and all of the mistakes I've made over the years." What mistakes? Barney braces himself for the worst. He wants to know, but at the same time, he isn't sure that he wants to hear what she has to say. He is so afraid it will break him.

"Robin..."

"No, Barney, hear me out here." He has to let her go, let her talk, even though he isn't quite sure where this is going. "I went to one bench in particular. It's the place I go, when I don't quite understand why things are happening to me, when I feel cheated." Cheated. But she feels cheated. She isn't saying she cheated. Oh God.

"What do you mean, cheated?"

"The last time I went there was a few weeks before we got engaged. It is a place I associate with a really bad memory." She starts to choke on her words, holding the tears back from falling down her face. "And I really haven't felt the need to go since we've been together. But today brought it back up, seeing that onesie again, I just couldn't do it."

"Robin, what do you mean?"

"That onesie reminds me of one of the worst moments of my life, Barney." One of the worst moments of her life. She is thinking about the whole cheating incident isn't she? They were barely speaking to each other when Ted stupidly showed her that onesie, without even knowing about the pregnancy she almost had. What he doesn't understand, is why that would be one of the worst moments of her life.

"Robin, I know that was a rough time. I've forgiven you. I love you. You can let it go."

"Its not about that Barney." So it isn't about that. Now he is just lost. "And this mistake I've made, I should have told you this a really long time ago, but I was never quite sure how to bring it up. Not to mention that we were barely speaking, and then you were with Quinn, and then when that finally ended I didn't want you to run away if I told you the truth, so I buried it in the back of my mind." He looks at her curiously. What mistake? What happened? He is too far invested to back away from the truth now. He needs to hear whatever she has to say.

"Bring what up? I know you were upset back then." She cocks her head to look at him, silently asking if he genuinely noticed. With all of the jokes he made back then, she honestly thought he had no clue that she was hurting at all. "I did notice you were upset. I could always tell when you were sad. I always assumed you did want the baby."

"I did." She did. She wanted his baby back then. "Which made it even more hard..." she trails off and breaks into tears. He wanted the baby too.

"It's ok Robin," he attempts to comfort her.

"No it's not," she admonishes.

"Yes, it is. Please tell me."

Robin takes a deep breath and speaks cautiously. "You remember the week we went into the doctors and we found out I wasn't?"

"Yes, I do." Of course he remembers. It was one of the best and worst moments of his life, all at the same time. Yes, she wasn't pregnant, and part of him was grateful for that, but that other part of him was upset that they didn't create something that was a part of them.

"Do you remember how I said later that week that I couldn't be a pole vaulter?"

"Yeah?" What did pole vaulting have to do with any of that? He always wondered where pole vaulting came from. He knew it wasn't about pole vaulting. He always assumed it was that she did want the baby.

"I lied," she admitted. It is the first time that she is admitting to anyone that pole vaulting was just a cover. And somehow, it feels ok now, because it is Barney.

"Good, cause I didn't believe that pole vaulter story one bit. I mean who wants to be a pole vaulter? Seriously?"

"It was the first lie I could come up with, ok? Will you let me finish?"

"Sorry." He really doesn't want to do anything that will make her recede and hide more inside. "Go on."

"I got a call from the doctor asking me to come back in. They told me..." The tears were now spilling over her eyelids, but she still tries her best to hold back the sobs. "They... they.. told me that I can never have a baby."

Barney can't believe his ears. He went from thinking he was going to be a father, to never being able to have it in a split second. It is one thing to not want a baby, but to Barney, being told he can't have something makes him want to have it even more. Oh my god. This is what Robin went through back then, and again today. Why did he have to be so stupid?

"Robin," he utters as he pulls her close, tears welling in his eyes. He loves her, and there are other ways around this if they do want kids, but he loves her just the way she is, with or without children. After all, until this morning he didn't really care about having a child. "I love you so much. This changes nothing. I don't care if I only get to spend the rest of my life with you, I love you and nothing, not even this can ever change that, ok?"

She nods her head yes, and turns her head to wipe her eyes on his shoulder. He spends a few minutes consoling her, as they both shed a few tears about the future in each other's arms. Then it occurs to him. Everyone else knows. This is what the warnings from them were about.

"Wait." Barney says. "Who else knows about this?" He wants her to say that he was the only one that didn't know. He needs to know if he is the only one that really did not know.

"Hmm?"

"Does Lily know about this?"

"Yes."

"Marshall?"

"Yes."

"Ted?"

"Yes."

"Why am I the last to know?" Why is he the only one that didn't know? Why didn't she tell him too? He needs to know why she thought she needed to keep this from him.

"That's why I said I made a mistake. I should have told you a long time ago. I just didn't want you to walk away from me like Kevin did." The picture was finally clear. Yes, she loved him and never really felt anything for Kevin, but he never really knew the reason they broke up, and he knew that Robin wouldn't have confessed her feelings for him that early in the game.

"That is why you and Kevin broke up?"

She nods, confirming his suspicions.

Barney stands in stunned silence. He literally has no idea what to say to that. He is hurt that he is the only one that didn't know. She even told Kevin. He needs to get away from this, so he retreats into his shell and changes the topic of conversation. He knows it is unhealthy, but he needs this right now in order to not go off the deep end.

"Do you want dinner? It's cold now but I can warm it up."

"I'm sorry Barney. I wish I could go back in time." She senses that he is retreating because of all the information he just learned, because of her mistakes. She doesn't want to see him do that. She hasn't seen him retreat like this in years.

"It's right here, waiting to be eaten," he interjects, walking over to the kitchen and moving around the food. He does want to talk about it, but he needs some time to process his thoughts on his own before they talk, and dinner is proving a worthy distraction.

"Barney, can we continue this conversation?" Robin pleads. She needs to know what is going through his head. It is like he went back 10 years to the Barney he was when she met him, the one that would put on a mask and never share any of his feelings. She is infinitely concerned and worried for his safety. She has no idea what he could possibly do if he doesn't talk.

"Seriously, dinner?" He stares at her, pleading with his eyes for her to just drop this whole thing, at least for tonight.

"Will you just talk to me about this?" The look in her eyes tells him there is absolutely no way she is dropping this.

"What more is there to talk about?" Maybe it will work to tell her that he needs some time. It really isn't unreasonable, and it has been the day from hell for him.

"I don't know how you feel about this." She desperately needs to know how he feels, even though she guesses it isn't good.

"What more is there to say? I can't do this right now. This has been an emotional rollercoaster of a day. Nothing that happened today changes how I feel about you, I just need some time to process this all, okay?"

"Okay." Robin relents. It really isn't the worst thing to give him some time. She knows he is thinking about it. She gets it, really. She did the same thing, which is what got them into this whole mess in the first place. "Let's eat."

"Before we eat, can you promise me something?"

"I guess." She wonders what he could possibly want from her now.

"Can you go to the doctor? There is something wrong. You might not be pregnant, but you should not be sick like this all the time. I am worried about you."

"Fine. I'll make an appointment tomorrow," she acquiesces as she sits down at the dinner table. Barney brings the food over and joins her.

"First thing tomorrow morning," Barney insists.

"First thing tomorrow morning," Robin agrees.

"I just want you to be ok."

"I know. You're right. I want to be ok, too."

"I love you, Robin."

"I love you, Barney," she says to him as they begin their long-delayed dinner.


	11. Making the Call

Robin sits at her desk the next morning. She promised Barney that she was going to call the doctor to make an appointment, but she is feeling a lot better this morning, at least physically that is, and she is not sure that she wants to call anymore. She is Robin Scherbatsky, ok, well maybe not legally anymore, but she is still the same person that doesn't need a doctor to get well. Doctors in the past only seemed to give her bad news, anyway.

It just hasn't been her day. She slept horribly last night, partly because she was still worked up from the fiasco with Barney, but also because her legs kept cramping up all night. When it was finally time to get up, she had the hardest time finding an outfit that would fit her, because for some reason, she is bloated. She ended up being late for work and frustrated that only about half of her clothing fits her this week.

She looks down at her phone which just vibrated on her desk. There is a new message from Barney.

-Did you make an appointment yet? -

"Damn it," she mumbles under her breath. He really isn't going to let this go, is he? There really isn't a need to go to the doctor. Really. She isn't sure how to answer. She promised him that she would do it first thing in the morning, and she had been putting it off, hoping that he would forget about it. She could lie and tell him that she made it already, but then she would be screwed if he asked when the appointment was. She could tell him the truth, that she doesn't want to go, and then he would just be mad at her again. Or she could tell him the truth, that she didn't make it yet, but say that she is calling right now. She doesn't want him to be disappointed in her, and doesn't want to worry him, so she decides she might as well give in.

-No, but I am calling to make it right now.-

* * *

After waiting for the stupid phone menu, having to leave a message, waiting for the receptionist to call her back, and thinking this is why she hates doctors so much, she finally has an appointment. When she told them her symptoms, the constant vomiting and fatigue, they told her that they were going to squeeze her in this afternoon at 4. She is actually amazed that they wanted to see her so soon. She figured that she would have to wait a few days to get in. She texts Barney the details.

-Appointment at 4 today. They wanted me to come in ASAP. -

The only reason she lets him know is so he doesn't worry. She really doesn't need him to come along. She is a big girl. She can go to the doctor by herself. She did for years before she met him. Although, there is something sweet about the way he is so worried about her.

-I have a meeting that is *not* with the N Koreans at 4. Sry I cant come. -

She can't say that she isn't happy. This way, she gets what she wants, without disappointing him.

-Its fine, really. Im a big girl and can go to the doctor by myself. -

-I know. It still would have been nice to be there. -

It really is nice for Robin to know that he really is this worried about her. She knows that he would like to be there, but honestly this will work out for the best. It isn't like the appointment is going to amount to anything anyway.

* * *

A few hours later, Barney is about to go into the meeting with the North Koreans. He really wishes that there were some way that he could get out of this meeting. He wants to go with Robin, and his mind will be on her the entire time. Of course there isn't a way to get out of it, though. It is the North Koreans after all. He is concerned that Robin will skip out on this appointment, or not fully tell the doctor about her symptoms. He gets that Robin is one to avoid her fears, especially those that make her look weak, but he hopes for both of their sakes that she decides to be truthful.

Of course, he knows that this appointment probably worked out the way Robin wanted it to, after all, she never really needed him, and that is one of the things he loves about her. Last night is still weighing heavily on his mind though. He still can't believe that Robin can never have a child, and worse that he missed out on seeing it for all these years. He could have been there to help her through it, and worst of all, he wouldn't have had to make an ass out of himself and upset her last night.

* * *

Robin is sitting in the waiting room of the doctor's office, trying to not be distracted by the woman sitting next to her. If she didn't know any better, she would think it is Becky, which is just making her day worse. It is already quarter after four, fifteen minutes after her appointment and she had already been there a half an hour. Damn it to Barney for making her come here. She is tired, cranky, and had a killer headache, which pseudo Becky is just making worse. 'Maybe Barney is right,' she thinks. She really could use some medication right now. All she wants is for this headache to go away, and to go home and crash on the couch. Somehow though, now that she is here, she really wants to know what her body has been doing to her lately. She honestly can see right now what Barney was thinking yesterday. She might even have been convinced herself if I didn't know about her infertility.

"Robin Stinson?"

'Alright, let's get this over with' she thinks as she follows the petite nurse back to the exam room. At least the nurse doesn't remind her of Becky. After a few twists and turns, they enter an exam room with a fairly decent view out the window, from which she can see the top of Central Park. She doesn't know why, but somehow, it calms her and pushes her to be truthful and let out her problems.

"So, what brings you in today?"

 


	12. Is this worth it?

It is Robin's crossroads moment. How much does she want to say? She figures she might as well start with the things that she told them over the phone.

"I've been feeling nauseous and tired for about two weeks now."

"Is that all? Was there any vomiting?" the nurse inquires.

"A few times. I don't think there is anything else." Robin thinks about what else she could say. There really isn't anything else. "Unless being bloated counts?"

"I'll make a note of that here. Can you tell me when your last menstrual period was?" She honestly has no idea. When she found out about her infertility, it seemed useless to continue keep track.

"A while ago? I don't really know." The nurse wrote down a note.

"Has any of your medical history changed since you saw us last?"

"I don't think so."

The nurse quickly goes through her medical history. When the nurse mentions her infertility, she shudders a bit. So much for her trying to put last night in the past. Something would always come up to remind her, no matter what she did to forget. There isn't anything that the nurse missed, and soon she is out the door telling Robin that the doctor will be in shortly.

Robin wonders just how long she is going to have to wait for the doctor to come in. She had already been here close to 45 minutes, and this doctor was never particularly fast. She hops down off of the exam table to skim the small magazine rack hanging on the wall. She examines the contents: Parenting, Parenting, Highlights, Pregnancy, Pregnancy and Diabetic Living. It is like the world is trying to laugh in her face. It's not like she is even at an OBGYN, she is just at her family doctor. Why did she have to get stuck in the room with the parenting and pregnancy magazines? Just so she can have what she now wants most rubbed in her face?

She returns to the table and jumps back up, hoping for the doctor to come in soon. Fortunately, at that moment, the door opens and the doctor strolls in. He isn't her normal doctor, but looks to be about her age and he is quite attractive, someone that she would have dated in the past.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Blasio. How are you feeling today?"

"Not bad." She isn't lying when she says that. She is feeling well, for the first time in a while.

"So what brings you in then?"

"Well, actually, my husband told me I needed to. I have been feeling sick for the past week or so, and he told me that there is something wrong and I should come in."

"It seems like he really cares about you." He looks at the chart and the notes from the nurse. His brow furrows questioningly. "Have you been having any other symptoms? Maybe mood swings, food cravings or frequent urination?"

She thinks for a moment. She had all of those recently. How did she not notice them?

"Yes, actually. I didn't realize I had them though."

The doctor nods and glances back down at the chart. "Hmm. I am going to send you for some lab work to confirm a suspicion."

"Ok..."

"I will have a nurse call you in the morning with the results and to schedule a follow up appointment with one of two other doctors that I will refer you to. Do you have any other questions for me?"

"No." So the doctor knew what was wrong? Why wasn't he telling her right away? "What is wrong?"

"I don't think there is anything wrong. I just don't want to give you answers until we know for sure. I will send the nurse back in with the prescription for the lab work. We work well with the lab right downstairs. You can stop on your way out. Good luck. Also, I would like you to avoid alcohol and medications for the night."

"Ok." Avoiding alcohol? That just makes no sense. "Thank you."

She waits for the nurse to return with her prescription, and eventually makes her way out of the office and down to the lab.

* * *

As she waits her turn for the lab work, she texts Barney.

_ -Went for a blood test. No idea whats up, the doctor said he wanted some further tests to confirm a suspicion that he had. He wouldnt tell me what tho. - _

He gets the text in the middle of the meeting. He hopes their isn't anything serious that she needs blood work. That can't be a good thing. And why wouldn't the doctor tell her about his suspicion? So much for keeping his mind on the meeting. He quickly texts her back.

_ \- Good luck. hope everything is ok. Dont know how much longer this meeting is going to last. hope to see you soon. Love you so much. - _

When Robin receives the text, she instantly calms. She didn't realize how stressed she had gotten today. The doctors nonchalance to her diagnosis was doing anything other than keep her calm. She even tried to interpret the prescription in her hands, but she really couldn't understand anything noticeable on it. She knew the basic tests like cholesterol, but that was it. She wonders if she should ask the technician when she gets called back, but she ends up deciding against it, because what if the test is for something bad? She would just as rather put it off today and enjoy tonight, well, as much as she could without alcohol.

Soon, she is interrupted from her thoughts, and is being called back for the tests. The technician draws the blood first, which is less painful than she thought it would be, and then sends her to the bathroom with a cup. In all honesty, she hates this part more than the needle, but she wonders if anyone really enjoys it. She really just hopes this all ends up being worth it.

 


	13. The Results

The next morning, Barney and Robin are getting ready for work. Robin is in the shower when her phone rings. Barney knows she is waiting for a call back from the doctor about her test results, so he answers it.

"Mrs. Stinson?" the woman on the phone asks.

"No, this is her husband."

"Mr. Stinson, we have received your wife's test results, and would like to schedule an appointment with her for Dr. Black. We would like to see her as soon as possible. We have an opening in an hour." As soon as possible? Somehow, that doesn't seem good.

"Ok, she is in the shower, let me check if that's ok." He walks into the bathroom, holding his hand over the receiver to block out the noise. "Robin, the doctor is on the phone. They want you to come in to discuss the results."

He hears the voice on the phone interrupt. "Actually Mr. Stinson, we would like to have the both of you come in."

"Ok..." He answers questioningly.

"What is it Barney?" Robin shouts from the shower.

"Nothing, they have an appointment in an hour and they want you to come in as soon as you can."

"That's fine. It'll be a bit of a rush, but I think I can make it."

"Ok. We'll be there," he responds to the woman on the phone.

"We'll?" He hears Robin puzzle to herself from the shower.

"Mr. Stinson? I want to tell you our location, because we are not the same group that your wife saw yesterday. Our address is 523 W 52nd street." He walks out of the bathroom and quickly scribbles the address down on a piece of paper. The address sounds familiar to him, but he can't quite place why.

"Ok, we will see you then. Thank you," he replies to the nurse. He walks back into the bathroom to finish getting ready and to answer Robin's question.

"She said she wanted both of us," he informs her when she shuts of the shower.

"Well that's odd," she mutters, mostly to herself. Now she is worried. What exactly could they want both of them for. It has to mean there is something seriously wrong.

They spend the next few minutes getting ready, and take a cab, when they arrive at the doctor's office, she is surprised, because she Isn't where she thought she was going to be.

Barney sees the confused look on her face, and answers her question without her asking. "Yeah, they said something about being a different doctor's group. You're seeing a Dr. Black today." Dr. Black? That's her gynecologist. Oh crap, this has more to do with her fertility doesn't it? Why does life keep screwing her over this?

Barney notices she is frozen in thought. "Robin? Are you ok?"

"Yes. No. Maybe. I don't know," she sighs. "Dr. Black is my gynecologist. I...I'm just scared about what could be wrong."

For a second, Barney allows himself to believe that maybe the tests before were wrong, she isn't infertile and she is pregnant, but he really doesn't want to let himself believe that it could be true, and he certainly doesn't want to get his hopes up. Getting his hopes up would just lead to more pain in the end.

* * *

After she checks in at the front desk, they sit together in the waiting room in silence. Neither of them wants to think about the reasons behind why they could be there. Now that they are here, Barney recognizes the office. It is the same one they were at before, when they came to see Dr. Sonya together a few years ago.

"Mrs. Stinson."

They follow this nurse through even more winding hallways, and they end up not in an exam room, but in the doctor's personal office.

"Take a seat. Dr. Black will be in with you in a minute or two."

Neither of them expected to end up in the doctor's office instead of an exam room, but again, they really didn't know what to expect. As soon as the door closed, Barney used the opportunity to crack a joke to try and lighten the mood.

"Well, it could be worse. We could be at my doppelganger's office." Robin just glares at him. He can tell she really isn't in the mood for jokes right now, and is extremely worried. He moves his hand to her shoulder to comfort her and show her that he is there for her no matter what happens in this office today.

At that moment, the door opens and a younger woman enters.

"Mrs. Stinson, Mr. Stinson" She greets as she shakes their hands.

"Nice to meet you." Barney replies to her handshake.

"Likewise. Have we met before? You aren't a doctor are you?" the doctor asks him.

"No, I am sure we haven't met, and I am not a doctor."

"Sorry, I must have confused you with one of my colleagues." He looks over at Robin and gives her an 'I told you so' look. He knew that the doppelganger would come up somehow. " I'm sure you're both curious about why you were referred to me today."

"Yes, actually, we are very curious." Robin answers, speaking for the both of them. She unsuccessfully tries to hide the worry in her eyes and voice.

"Mrs. Stinson, you are aware of your diagnosis of abnormal FSH and LH secretions due to hypopituitarism."

"Yes," Robin answers at the same time as Barney's resounding "No."

"I will explain it again to you both so that we are all on the same page." She takes a breath as the couple nods in agreement. While Robin doesn't really want to hear this again, as she didn't get much the first time when Dr. Sonya explained it, she does realize that it is worth it for Barney to hear. "There are two hormones that are part of a woman's menstrual cycle, FSH or follicle-stimulating hormone, and LH or luteinizing hormone. These two hormones need to be present in the correct proportions in order for ovulation and therefore conception to occur. There are many triggers as to why these hormones could be low or high, such as stress, a very high or low weight, significant weight loss or gain, and certain pituitary gland disorders. In your case, you have a pituitary gland disorder called hypopituitarism that typically blocks the hormones that allow for ovulation and hence conception. Your blood tests in December of 2011 showed low levels of both of the hormones, as well as elevated levels of prolactin that led to a diagnosis of hypopituitarism."

"And what does this all mean?" Robin asks, wanting to know why exactly she needed to hear this all again.

"There was one thing that may have been unclear to you when you met with Dr. Sonya back then. While it was highly unlikely that you would ever be able to conceive, it could happen if the hormones were to be present."

"So it could be possible to have a baby if we wanted? Because Dr. Sonya said it would never happen."

"Dr. Sonya's bedside manner and patient proceedings are part of the reason that she is no longer with us. I am sorry that she told you never, as never is not the case." Robin looks up at Barney with hope in her eyes. It is possible. He looks back at her with the same gaze. This could happen for them. They could have a family. "Usually, with the right combination of hormone therapy and in vitro fertilization, it is clinically possible, while still rare."

"So you called us in to tell us that it is possible to have a baby? I don't understand what this has to do with the blood work."

"I actually called you in to tell you that it is more than possible for you to have a baby. Congratulations. You're pregnant."


	14. Shock and Awe

Robin stares at the doctor in shock, and after a moment works up the ability to form words. "I'm pregnant?" she asks meekly, making it painfully obvious that she can barely form the words coming out of her.

"Yes," the doctor replies. Barney's mouth is still open and his eyes are wide. He is frozen in space. He may have wished it could happen, but he never expected in a million years for the doctor to say it is true.

"But how..." Robin asks, not knowing what to say. How could this have happened?

"I don't know. All we know is your beta numbers are incredibly high. Judging by the blood test alone, you have to be somewhere around the fifth or sixth week. Do you have any idea when you might have conceived or when you last had your period?"

"No," Robin's voice cracks as she answers. This is all happening so fast. To go from never having a baby to it actually happening is almost too much for her brain to process.

"We will have to do an ultrasound to fully confirm, as there is the chance for a chemical pregnancy, especially because of your condition, but I have never seen a chemical pregnancy with such high beta numbers. We can also use it to see how far along you actually are and approximately calculate your due date." The doctor keeps rambling on, but in reality Barney and Robin catch very little of what she is saying. "The bad news is that because of your hypopituitarism, your pregnancy is considered high risk, and combined with the fact that this is your first pregnancy, the chances of miscarriage are extremely high for the first trimester." The word miscarriage snaps Robin out of her funk. She wishes that she had been paying attention. So she still isn't out of the woods? She could still lose the baby? "I can tell this comes as a bit of a shock to the both of you, so I will take you to an exam room for the ultrasound and give you a few minutes alone, so that I can go check on one of my other patients. Follow me."

Barney and Robin follow her out of the office and to a door a few feet down the hall. The doctor enters and gets out a gown for Robin to put on.

"If you can change into this and take a seat on the exam table, I will be back in a few minutes," the doctor says, closing the exam room and leaving them alone for the first time since the news was revealed.

All Barney and Robin can do is stare at each other in shock. It is in that moment that their brains catch up to their hearts, and feelings come bubbling towards the surface.

"You're pregnant," Barney utters breathily.

"I'm pregnant!" Their faces erupt in the biggest smile, and he pulls her towards him and embraces her. He has never been so excited in his life, and he can tell she probably hasn't either. He feels like he needs to pinch himself, but this is happening. She really is pregnant.

"I love you so much," Barney whispers in her ear, still hugging her.

"I love you too," Robin whispers back. She pulls out of the hug and holds his hands. "We're having a baby!" She squeals.

"We're having a baby!" Barney replies just as, if not more, enthusiastically than Robin.

She peers into his eyes, with tears of joy filling her own eyes. "I never thought you could have been right."

"I'm glad I was," he responds, his eyes now filling with tears upon noticing her tears.

"I'm glad you were, too."

"So," he drags out, hoping to stop them both from breaking into tears in the exam room, because no matter how much of a miracle this joyous moment is, neither of them like to cry in public. "When do you think this happened?" She looks at him and starts to laugh at the absurdity of the question. Her laughter makes the tears go away.

"Really? That's like asking Ted to narrow his meet-cute story with Tracy down to one sentence."

Even at a moment like this, they appreciate each other's fondness for making fun of their friends. Barney snorts, "God his stories are so looooo..."

"It's not like we are going to be able to even pinpoint a specific time," Robin interrupts. "Even guessing a day would be hard."

He laughs, appreciating her joke about their quite active sex life and the inadvertent pun. "Heh, you said hard." She rolls her eyes, knowing he just can't help himself. She sees the look on his face turn serious. "When do you think we should tell everyone?" he asks.

"I don't know," she answers. She really hadn't thought about it. "I guess that we should wait until I get to the second trimester, you know, just in case."

He sighs, knowing exactly what she is thinking. There is still a chance that she could lose the baby. "That's probably a good idea."

At that moment, there is a knock on the door.

"Are you ready for me?" the doctor questions from the slightly cracked door.

"Yes," Robin answers. They are ready to see their baby.


	15. The Good, the Bad, the Ugly, and Hope

The doctor opens the door and rolls in the ultrasound machine. She instructs Robin how to sit, and opens her robe to expose her stomach. Barney comes over to hold her hand. He wants to be right by her side when they see the baby for the first time. The doctor squirts the cold gel onto her stomach, and Robin winces at the chill. Even her Canadian-ness does not prepare her for how cold it is. The doctor places the probe on her stomach and starts the exam.

"Wow," the doctor says, shocked. "We already have a heartbeat. Always a good sign." Robin and Barney smile at each other. If there is a heartbeat, that means there is definitely a baby.

"I am amazed. From what I can see, the fetal measurement is about two and a half inches, which would put you somewhere around twelve or thirteen weeks." They are stunned yet again. That is almost three whole months.

"So that means?" Robin asks, wanting to hear if the thought she is thinking is really true. Is she really already at three months?

"You are already almost out of the first trimester, and everything looks like it is developing properly. You are extremely lucky to have made it this far with no problems." Robin nods still in shock. She can't believe it. Twelve weeks? Already out of the first trimester? She is stunned, and she can tell that Barney is too.

"I've been pregnant for 12 weeks?" she manages to ask the doctor.

"Actually you've only been pregnant for ten weeks, but we consider you to be in the twelfth week," Dr. Black explains. "We base the weeks off of your cycle, not from the moment of conception." The doctor turns the monitor to them. "Here is your baby." She shows them the spot on the monitor where the baby is. Robin squeezes Barney's hand, and puts her head on his shoulder, trying to hold back the tears that are forming again. Looking at the screen, she can already see hands and feet. This baby looks nothing like the peanut shape of Lily's first sonogram, the shape that she couldn't even find. This baby looks like a baby. It's all real and she feels like all is right with the world.

The longer that Barney stares at the screen, the more he realizes how real this is. There is a baby. A real baby. A baby with arms and legs, hands and feet, and fingers and toes. It still almost feels like a dream to him. He had considered becoming a father a few times throughout the past few years, but now here he is, looking at his baby, and not just his baby, but the most awesome baby in the world because it is part of the two of them, and it is the happiest moment of his life. "Is it a boy or a girl?"

"Unfortunately, it is too early to tell. We usually cannot determine the sex until at least 20 weeks. I can print pictures and a video if you would like, though." Robin nods her head and turns to smile at Barney. The doctor finishes the ultrasound and wipes the gel off of Robin's stomach. She feels like she won't be able to wipe this crazy grin off of her face for days, but the doctor interrupts their moment of joy. Robin starts to stand up to put her clothing back on, but before she can, the doctor interrupts.

"We do still have some things to finish and discuss before you leave." The serious tone of the doctor's voice scares Barney, almost as if there is something wrong. "First, we always do a full gynecological exam at the first appointment, just to make sure that nothing is wrong with mom that could affect baby. Second, I have some recommendations for you that we need to discuss. It is up to the two of you, if you," she says as she looks at Barney, "would like to stay for the exam, but I do need to speak with both of you."

Robin knows he might be uncomfortable with this so she looks at Barney and sweetly says, "You can stay if you want," while secretly hoping that he will stay.

He can't imagine being anywhere else right now, but he does understand the significance of her allowing him to stay. She is allowing him into a very personal part of her life, and he is thankful to be a part of it. "I'll stay"

As the doctor does the exam, which he actually has no interest in seeing, because frankly, he wants to keep some of the mystery alive, he tries to keep his focus on Robin's face and the illustrations around the room. After a short while of blissful ignorance, a memory pops into his head, and he finds himself laughing.

"What?" Robin snaps, chiding him for his slightly immature behavior.

"Sorry, I was just thinking about Lily's story from their first doctor appointment with Marvin. You know, the one where Marshall kept saying he knew so little about vaginas?" he giggles. His laughter becomes contagious, and even the doctor starts to laugh.

"I heard about that guy. He was the talk of the office for a while," the doctor admits while finishing the exam. Robin readjusts herself on the exam table as the doctor starts to speak. "Now, I know that you are both very excited, but I am very concerned about this pregnancy. As I said earlier, you are considered to have a high-risk pregnancy. Normally, just based on your age and lifestyle, we recommend relaxation for mom, but since you are diagnosed with hypopituitarism, we need to be extremely cautious of miscarriage and early delivery." Both Robin and Barney's hearts sink at this news. Of course it wouldn't be easy for them, Barney thinks, because nothing about their relationship has ever been easy. "While you have may have managed to make it this far without any complications, that doesn't rule out complications in the future. In fact, getting this far without knowing about the pregnancy may have caused more harm and stress. We want to put your body and the baby under as little stress as possible, so that you have the highest chance to carry to full term." Robin thinks that her life has been fairly stress free since she married Barney, so she really isn't sure what the doctor could mean.

"The first course of action that we will take is hormone replacement therapy. We are going to start you out with an injection today, and I will write a prescription for more. You are going to need to give yourself an injection every day, preferably in the morning, so that your hormones do not cause your body to miscarry. Also, we will monitor your hormone levels with blood work, which we will do once every two weeks. I would like to see you here once a week, just so that I can keep a close eye on your progress. The most important part of this equation, though, is up to you. I highly recommend that you be on modified bed rest and a modified diet for the remainder of your pregnancy."

"Bed rest? Like lying in bed all day?" Robin is appalled. The doctor can't be serious. She is supposed to stay in bed all day? Giving herself a shot every day is one thing, she can handle that, but this is completely different. She would have to give up everything about her life right now. Work, the bar, hanging out with the gang. This is why she said she was never having kids. You really do have to give up your whole life for them.

"Well, sort of. In your case, you will need to spend most of your day sitting in a reclined position. You can do this wherever in your home you feel most comfortable; couch, bed, recliner, it doesn't really matter as long as your feet are elevated."

"What about work? I can't give up my job." Barney hears her reaction and knows exactly what she is thinking. Her career has always been everything to her. Giving it up, if only for a year, is going to kill her. It would kill him to have to be the one giving up work. Her career was why she always said she didn't want to have kids.

"You can work for up to 4 hours a day, as long as your job isn't stressful and you can work from home. You're a journalist correct?"

"Yes."

"That is ok as far as stress goes, just all work has to be done from home. You should only be on your feet to use the bathroom, to move from one place to another a few times a day, and to take a shower of no more than 10 minutes a day, at least for the first portion of your pregnancy. Once you are to a stage of viability, about 27 weeks, we may reevaluate. I have a printout to highlight the exact dos and don'ts for your specific needs. You can read that over today and tonight and you can let me know if you have any questions in the morning." All she can think about is what is going to happen to her job. She knows she has to do this, but she still hates to think about what this is going to mean for her career. She knows she is going to have to talk to her boss in person about this.

"Ok, but can I at least go into work today to talk to my boss?"

"Yes, but I would like you to start your new routine as soon as you get home. I understand that this is going to be difficult, but our goal is to get this baby to as full-term as possible. That is all I have for right now. I am going to go calculate your due date and I will come back with all of the paperwork you need, including a letter for your employer. Remember, you can call with any questions whenever you need. Do you have any more questions before I go?" They both shake their head no. "Also, if you have any cramping or spotting, it is crucial to go to the emergency room immediately." Robin acknowledges with a nod again. "Great, I will send a nurse in with your shot."

"Thank you," Robin curtly replies.

"Have a great day."

Robin is feeling apprehensive the second the door closes. This is more than she is cut out to handle. Barney is feeling just as apprehensive, but he knows that Robin is probably having second thoughts at this point.

"What's wrong?" he gently asks, coming over to stroke her hair.

"I'm just really nervous right now. I mean, what if I can't do this. Oh my god, I can't do this. I can't stay in bed for the next six months! I can't! How..." she turns and sobs into his shoulder.

"It's going to be ok," reflexively leaves his mouth, but at the same time, he is just as worried as her. It is going to be a big change for the both of them.

The sound of the nurse opening the door calms Robin down enough to stop crying. The nurse hands her the vial and shows her how to set up the needle as well as the spot on her thigh where she needs to insert it. She does it all with ease, after all, she is still the same person whose father abandoned her in the woods alone on her 14th birthday. It's not that she can't do this, she realizes, but it is probably going to be the hardest six months of her life. She doesn't know when, but at some point the doctor brought the paperwork into the room. The nurse hands the paperwork stack to her, and it is enormous, but right on the top is a small note with a date. Her due date. February 13, 2015.


	16. The Boss

As Robin rides in the elevator of the WWN building, she can't help but ponder where her life has taken her. Here she is, on her way up to tell her boss that she is pregnant, and probably won't be back to work for the next year. The fear of his reaction is stressing her out, something that she is now supposed to be avoiding. She can't help but laugh at the irony. She was not at all stressed when she didn't know about her pregnancy. Now that she knows, however, there are so many frightening thoughts floating around in her mind.

Barney offered to call in to work to accompany her, but she wants to do this alone. She told him to go to work, but he still insisted on coming home at lunch to get her settled in. For now, she is on her own. Besides, it's not like Barney could have come to talk to her boss with her anyway. He would make her feel better right now, though, as the thought of this conversation is making her incredible nervous. She is probably going to have to give up her anchor position.

She can't help but think about the night she and Barney got back together, when she was in this exact elevator, on her way up to the roof. That night, she was expecting the worst. She was expecting to find Barney and Patrice on the roof together, but instead, what she found was beyond her wildest dreams. Now here she is again, dreading what she has to do, but maybe, like the last time, life will surprise her. Even so, she has no idea how she is going to go about breaking this news to her boss. She surmises that this is going to be the end of her career.

When the elevator door opens, her goal is to get to her boss's office as fast as possible. She has no intention of letting the rest of the office know right now, especially not Patrice. She can send them an email later, and then she won't have to be bothered with the joyous celebration. She doesn't need that on her account. Fortunately for her, her boss is right inside the door to the bullpen speaking to an intern. She approaches him quickly, hoping to draw as little attention to herself as possible.

"Mr. McLaine, can I speak to you in private for a moment?" Robin asks quietly.

"Sure, Scherbatsky, let's step into my office," he addresses her and then turns to the intern. "Rebecca, I want that report done by the end of the hour," he states firmly before doing the 180 towards his office.

As Robin follows him, she starts shaking. She is in no way looking forward to this, and is becoming more nervous by the second. She tries to take some deep breaths to calm down. Normally, she wouldn't care so much about being calm, but she wants to do this for the baby, well, needs to do this for the baby. "So what can I do for you today?" he questions, in a much calmer tone than he used with the intern less than a minute ago. She appreciates that there definitely are some benefits to her being so high on the WWN food chain. Maybe, just maybe, that fact will actually make this conversation easier. She is determined to get this over with, taking a big breath right before she speaks.

"I need to go on medical leave," she declares with a somber tone, definitely not the tone of your average woman who just found out she is pregnant. But then again, this is no normal pregnancy and she is no average woman.

"I'm sorry," Mr. McLaine responds with great compassion, expecting the worst. "Is everything alright?"

Here it goes, she thinks, the end of her career. "Actually, it's nothing serious." She is a little dumbfounded by the relief written across her boss's face. She knew that she was liked by him, but she never knew that he liked her quite that much. "I found out that I'm pregnant."

"Congratulations!" he acclaims, a smile spreading to his face. "I am so happy for the both of you."

"Wait, really?" She is genuinely shocked. She expected her boss to be angry that she wasn't going to be here.

"Of course. I am honestly surprised it didn't happen sooner." Wow, so her boss was expecting this? "You have been married over a year now," he states, as though it is the most obvious idea in the world. Of course the next logical step for most people would be starting a family. Then she sees his eyebrows furrow in confusion. "Why are you going on medical leave if you are pregnant?"

"I've been put on bed rest. I can work a few hours a day from home, but that's all," she says with a sigh. Her boss can tell that she is upset about this. She has always been extremely dedicated to this job.

"Ok," he says calmly, thinking for a moment. He wants her to know that she is indeed valued here. "So we'll put you back on research at home for as long as you are able to work, and then you can have the standard leave when the baby is born." She is stunned. That actually sounds like an amazing idea, but she just has to know if it will be forever. She knows she can't possibly go back to research forever.

"And what will I be doing when I get back?" she asks, hoping she hasn't run out of good luck today. After all, the baby she is carrying took quite a bit of it, probably a lifetime's worth.

"We might give it a few weeks, depending on how the timing works out, but we'd love to have you back at your anchor position."

"Really?" She is genuinely shocked. She never thought she would get to come back to her anchor position.

"Really. You're one of our best. We can't let you go that easy, unless of course you decide to be a stay at home mom and not to come back." Of course not, that would be ridiculous. She is going to need some time to herself once the baby comes.

"Of course not. I just never expected to have a baby and still have my career intact. Thank you," she opines, completely overjoyed with her grin stretching from ear to ear.

At that moment, her boss has an idea. "Actually, I have an assignment for you if you want it."

"An assignment?"

"Yes. Document your experiences." Huh? He can't mean what she thinks he means can he?

"Experiences of what?" she questions.

"Your pregnancy, the bed rest. Let the viewers know what is happening, how things are going. Maybe keep up a blog." He seems proud of the idea. She has no idea how to feel about this, after all, she is a very private person.

"I have to think about that. I don't know how my husband will feel about it."

"You don't have to. Just thought it might be an interesting way to keep you involved over here, at least for the time being," he adds. Thank goodness there is at least no pressure for this.

She realizes that she should probably get home now, although she feels a great relief with how this meeting went. "I do need to head home now."

"Of course. And congratulations again."

"Thanks." As she leaves his office and heads towards the elevator, she can't help but smile. She would never have imagined being this happy with the way her life turned out. Yes, she may have never wanted marriage or kids, but she wouldn't trade it now for the world.


	17. Ted and Tracy

That night, Barney arrives at the bar. He sees the two couples sitting at their normal booth. Lily is the first one to notice his arrival.

"Hey Barney! Where's Robin? Is everything ok?" Lily hopes that everything worked out between them. Barney texted her and told her that they had talked later that night, but it is Barney and Robin. Just because they talked doesn't mean that everything is now back to normal. The fact that Barney is walking in by himself is just exasperating her bad feelings about the situation.

"She's at home. She isn't feeling well," Barney brushes her off with an air of nonchalance.

"Really? She isn't still mad at you?" He smiles just thinking about all that happened today and everything that he has to be thankful for.

"No. Everything is perfect. I swear on my suits." Lily smiles. She still thinks he is hiding something, but she knows that he wouldn't swear on his suits if he was lying.

"Good. We've all been worried about you two. Especially you," Marshall adds. "We weren't sure how you were going to take it when you found out. What ended up happening, bro?"

"She came home, and apologized that she never told me about not being able to have a baby, and we made up. It was a rough night, but I think we will be stronger because of it."

Ted, Marshall and Lily nod their heads approvingly, but when Barney looks over at Tracy, he is unsure of what she is thinking. Her face looks like a mixture of shock and guilt. Apparently, she didn't know about Robin's infertility, well, supposed infertility, either. She probably now feels guilty about leading him on, but looking back on it, he is glad she did.

Ted breaks Barney out of his thoughts, and asks Barney, "We were really hoping that you both would be here tonight. We have some news and it is really important. Can you call Robin and have her come over? " Barney starts to panic. His mind wanders back to earlier this afternoon.

* * *

When Barney arrived home from work in the early afternoon, he found Robin in bed with the papers from the doctor's office spread around her, and the laptop on her lap.

"Barney, thank god you are here. There is so much that we need to do! We have to think about baby furniture, and a nursery, and baby proofing, and registering for baby clothes, and preschools and oh my god! And the worst part is that I have to stay in bed. I can't even get up to do these things."

"Calm down Robin." He figured that she may have done a little too much research in the few hours that she has been home alone. He picked up the laptop and moved it to the desk across the room and climbed into bed with her, where he put his arms around her. "It will be fine. You have the gigantic TV, you can shop for baby things on the internet, you can read all of these papers, and I will be here for you every day." She smiled at him. He really does have a calming effect on her.

At that moment, they both heard their phones. They picked them up to look at them and read the message on the screen.

-Lets all meet at the bar at 8. We have some news-

"Ted wants us to meet at the bar at 8," Barney stated, looking at Robin. He looked at her, knowing it was going to upset her not to be able to go, but she seemed fine.

"I know, I got the same text. Sounds good to me," she replied simply. He turned to stare at her. Did she forget that she had to stay in bed?

"Um, Robin?"

"Yeah?" She noticed him staring at her, and wondered what was going on. She was really looking forward to seeing the gang. She hadn't seen anyone since they had dinner, which felt like a lifetime ago, with all that had happened.

"You realize that you can't go, right?" Barney asked gently. He didn't want to upset her, especially with the way he found her a few minutes ago.

"Aww, crap. I can't can I?" She looked over at Barney who was shaking his head. Damn it, she knew this was going to be hard, but she didn't think it was going to be quite this hard. "So what are we going to tell them? I could just say that I am sick and get out of it. I mean you could still go."

"No, I really just want to be with you. It wouldn't feel right for me to go without you anyway."

"That's really sweet of you Barney, but if they have some news, at least one of us should go."

"You sure?" He looked at her questioningly. He knew that he probably shouldn't leave her alone tonight. It was going to be hard for him, because he felt drawn to stay there with her. She shouldn't have to go through this alone, and honestly he wanted to do nothing but stay at home with her.

"Positive. I will be fine. Just make sure that I have dinner and something to drink before you leave. I will call you if anything is wrong," she reassures him. "And don't say anything. I want to tell them together."

* * *

"Uhhhh... no. No. I don't think she would feel up to it." Barney knows that he is terrible liar when it comes to the gang, and he is surprised that they can't see right through him.

"Can you try?" Ted begs. Barney thinks that Ted was always one to get his way. He wishes he could tell Ted that Robin isn't home by choice. There is no way he is risking either Robin or the baby just to appease Ted's every whim.

"No, Ted," he answers forcefully. The rest of the gang notices the tension between them.

"Barney, can you please?" Ted whines. "I really want Robin here for this. It is really important." Well his baby is a lot more important. Maybe he needs to go at convincing Ted a different way.

"She isn't going to come," Barney tries.

"Fine. I will call her myself." Oh crap. Think fast.

"Please, Ted. Just tell us. I can tell her later," he blurts out in a last ditch effort.

But it's too late. Ted already started the call.

Meanwhile, over at the apartment, Robin had just started to doze off while watching a movie on the Lifetime channel of all channels, when her phone rings.

"Hey Robin!"

"Hey Ted," she says weakly, because she knows that she has to sound under the weather.

"Barney said you aren't feeling well. Are you sure you can't come for a couple of minutes? Tracy and I have an announcement to make," Ted pleads.

"I really don't think I can." She knows that whatever is going on over there, Barney obviously couldn't handle. Although, when could anyone ever stop Ted when he was determined?

"Are you sure?" Ted asks sadly.

"Yes," she declares firmly.

"But, I really don't want to tell anyone without you," he whines again.

"Well you are just going to have to. I am not leaving my apartment and that's final." She has an idea, but she needs Barney's opinion first. "Put Barney on the phone," she demands.

"Ok..." Ted is as confused as can be, but he holds the phone out towards Barney.

"She wants to talk to you." Barney looks at him just as confused.

"Hey baby, what's up?"

"I have an idea to get him to show up." Barney mutters a thank god under his breath. Ted is really getting under his skin tonight. "Why don't you just have them come over? If Ted and Tracy are making an announcement, why don't we just do it all at once?" Could she really want to tell them all right now?

"Are you sure about that? I mean isn't it a little soon?"

"I don't think so. I mean, we will only tell the 4 of them. What is it going to hurt? We don't have to tell anyone else."

"Ok. I think I can be ok with that." A smile spreads across his face. They are going to share their big news too. "What about how you feel, though?" Luckily she gets his cover word.

"I will move to the chair in the living room and they will never know the difference. Remember, I just have to have my feet up, that is all. I may be on bed rest, but I don't have to stay in bed. They will never know the difference."

"Alright. I'm ok with it if you are sure." He wants to be sure that she really wants to do this. It has been a stressful day.

"I'm positive," she says calmly and reassuringly. "I love you."

"I love you too." He hangs up the phone, and hands it back to Ted. The group looks at him with anticipation.

"Robin says she won't come," Barney says just to piss off Ted. "But she said she wants us to come to her."

"Why?" Marshall asks.

"I don't know. Maybe Robin will tell you when we get there."

The group leaves MacLaren's and Barney can hardly contain his excitement. It is a long 23 minutes to their apartment, but Robin is waiting for them in the living room when they arrive. She and Barney share a secret smile as the group enters the room.

Tracy and Ted sit down on the couch immediately, and Lily sits beside them. Barney pulls up a chair behind Robin, and Marshall pulls one up to the side of the couch, near Lily. Barney goes and gets a 6 pack out of the fridge, conveniently leaving one out, so that no one notices that Robin doesn't have one. He brings them over to the coffee table, and Lily, Marshall and Ted each grab one.

"We have an announcement to make," Ted says.

"Uh we know Ted. You have been telling us all night," Marshall retorts. Everyone breaks out laughing except Ted. Ted looks at Tracy, like he isn't sure what to do next. Tracy squeezes his hand, and smiles at him. He nods at her to just say it.

"I'm pregnant."


	18. Two is Better than One

Robin's jaw drops. She can't believe it. Tracy and Ted are having a baby too. She feels Barney's hand squeeze her shoulder. She knows exactly what he is thinking. Of all the days Ted and Tracy could have announced this, they picked the day that they found out. It's not as if she is unhappy, but she is feeling a bit less excited about telling them now. She turns around to give Barney a nervous look. Thankfully, no one else notices, because they are so busy sharing congratulatory hugs. They break the look quickly, realizing that if they stay there too long, someone might catch on. Quickly, they avert their attention back to the rest of the gang.

"So when are you due?" Lily squeals, so excited to finally become an aunt. It's not that she doesn't love Marvin, but she is looking forward to being there for a child that isn't her responsibility.

"March 15th," Tracy says. No way. This can't be real. They beat Ted to having a baby without even knowing it. Barney, who has gotten up to share in the hugging, glances back over at Robin who stayed sitting, and tries to get her attention. He doesn't know how she is going to feel about this. On one hand, she doesn't have to go through pregnancy alone, but she also doesn't get to be independent in this. Not to mention, Tracy is up and walking around. That fact alone has to be killing her.

"Congrats," Robin manages to squeak, still somewhat nervous about the gang's reaction to her news as well. Not that she has any reason to be nervous.

Tracy and Ted come over to Robin to hug her, probably because they think she is sick. That is what the gang knows after all. After all the hugs, she starts to get nervous again.

"What's wrong?" Lily asks, puzzled. "You seem like you are out in outer space. What's up?"

Robin notices that everyone has moved to the kitchen, while she is still on the chair. She has no idea how long she zoned out for.

"Uhh…" Robin looks over in Barney's direction. "Uhhh…nothing. Nothing."

"This upsets you doesn't it? It's all really fresh again. That you can't have a baby. Isn't it?"

"No," she shakes her head. "No, that's not it at all. It's just why today?"

"Huh?" Lily asks, completely lost to Robin's train of thought.

Robin looks in the kitchen at Barney who gives her a look of calming reassurance. She raises her voice so that everyone can hear.

"Umm, Barney and I have an announcement to make too." Lily gives her a stunned look, and everyone moves back into the living room. Barney smiles and comes to stand behind her again.

"The reason that I didn't come to the bar tonight is not because I'm not feeling well. I'm, well, actually on bed rest."

"Bed rest? Since when?" Ted asks.

"Since a few hours ago," Robin says simply, waiting for the realization to sink in to the rest of their minds.

"Why bed rest?" Marshall asks.

"Wait a minute!" Lily exclaims.

"No..." Ted says.

The smiles on Barney and Robin's faces give them away like a two year old caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

"Yes," Barney says, confirming their thoughts.

"You're pregnant?" Tracy asks.

"Yes." Robin says.

"Oh my god! That is amazing! We are so happy for you!" Tracy exclaims.

"How did... I thought you...I thought…" Ted stutters, clearly still stunned from the news.

"I thought so too. I still don't think I would know if Barney hadn't convinced me to go to the doctor," Robin explains.

"When is your due date?" Tracy asks. "Are we close together?"

"February 13, so, I guess so."

"Yep. Desperation Day. Only an awesome baby would arrive on a holiday such as Desperation Day. I'm so proud." Barney interjects, and everyone else rolls their eyes.

"Wow." Ted says silently, but then his face lights up. "Oh my god! Guys! Our kids are going to be the same age and they can be best friends," Ted says with such conviction. Barney and Robin roll their eyes at each other, but they miss that Lily, Marshall and Tracy all rolls their eyes at each other too. "And they'll have play dates together, and spend all their time together, and they will start school together, and if you have a boy and we have a girl they could even get married. This is going to be Ah-May-ZING!"

"Ted!" They all shout to bring him back down to earth.

"So, bed rest?" Lily questions, completely ignoring Ted. "What exactly does that mean, and why do you have to be on bed rest?"

"Well, it turns out I should have never been told that I couldn't have children, but that it was very unlikely to happen, and well..."

"Miracle!" Marshall shouts out. Lily rolls her eyes.

"Not a miracle, Marshall," Robin groans.

"Yes it is," Marshall argues.

"No it isn't," Robin stands her ground.

Ted leans over to Tracy to whisper, "they had the same argument the day that Barney got hit by the bus. I don't think they ever settled it."

"Yes it is." Marshall insists.

"Honey, just let it go," Lily says sweetly. "She isn't going to agree with you."

"But…" he argues with her. Lily frowns at him. "Fine," he huffs.

"Go on Robin." Lily instructs.

"The point is, the reason that they said I couldn't have a baby also makes the pregnancy more high risk, and it makes me more likely to have a miscarriage," Robin explains.

The group stays silent for a moment, acknowledging the weight of the statement. It's Lily that breaks the silence.

"We are here for you Robin, whatever you need. You just call and we will do whatever either of you need. And, of course, we can keep you company."

"Thanks guys," Robin answers while Barney sighs and nods behind her.

"So... how long have you known?" Robin asks Ted and Tracy, removing the uncomfortable focus off of herself.

"About four weeks. We really wanted to wait to tell you until we knew nothing was going to happen, but..." Tracy explains.

"Wow." Marshall says.

"Yeah, I don't know how you guys did it. I don't think we lasted three days before we caved, and then of course, Marshall ruined a wedding because of it," Lily states matter-of-factly.

"Ruined a wedding?" Tracy asks, stunned.

"Yep. It was Punchy's wedding," Lily explains. "Ted was the best man. We had just found out, and were trying to keep it a secret. Marshall was sloshed after trying to drink for two all night, and Ted was of course freaking out about his toast, because, well, you know how he gets." Tracy laughs at this comment. She was present for Robin and Barney's best man speech. That was bad enough. And of course, she had seen the Classic Schmosby remixes. "We eventually told everyone right before his toast, and he started crying because of it. When he got made fun of, Marshall stepped up to defend him, saying that this beautiful woman was pregnant. The bad part was that the bride was sitting in between us."

"Oh no," Tracy gasps with horror.

"Yep," Lily says over enunciating the p. "Turns out Punchy and his wife were doing the same thing we were the whole night. But it basically started an all-out brawl between the families."

"Wow," Tracy says in shock. She recovers quickly, however, and turns her attention back to Robin and Barney. "So how long have you two actually known?"

Robin turns to Barney mentally telling him that he can take this one. "A whole twelve hours."

"So you really had no idea?" Ted asks.

"I really had no idea," Robin replies. "Well, that's not quite true, everything makes sense now, but it didn't add up at the time. I spent a lot of time ignoring it because I thought that it couldn't mean anything. But, I guess this means that Barney and I won the race of telling you first."

"Well, yes, but most importantly, everyone's happy," Lily argues. "How about we take a picture for the photo album to celebrate!"

Of course, everyone rolls their eyes, but they happily oblige. Marshall may look stoned, and Barney may take the perfect picture as always, but Robin feels different. For the first time, her smile in one of Lily's group photos is not faked. She is completely happy and wouldn't change it for the world.


	19. Finally Alone

 

After plenty of celebration, the gang said their final congratulations and finally left Barney and Robin alone in the living room. He carries her back to the bedroom, from the chair she had been sitting on all night, despite her insistence that she is allowed to walk the short distance by herself. He gets her pajamas for her, and changes out of his suit as she changes in bed. He lies down next to her and pulls her close, and as he does, his hand moves protectively down to her stomach.

"I never thought I would see the day that I would be excited to be pregnant," she sighs turning to face him.

"I know. It is pretty amazing isn't it?" He grins at her with the biggest smile imaginable.

"Yeah. It is," she smiles, content in with the situation.

They spend a minute in each other's arms before Barney breaks the embrace apart to ask, "So, how did the talk with your boss go? I know you were really nervous about it."

"It actually went really well. He said he was expecting it."

"He was expecting you to be pregnant? Really? He knew?"

"No, not in a 'he knew' kind of way, in a 'that's usually the next logical thing that happens after a wedding' kind of way."

"Oh," he chuckles, "so what happened? What are you going to do for the next few months?"

"I can do research for a few hours a day," she announces and then pauses before continuing, "but I also have an assignment that I can work from home on," she reveals tentatively, unsure of how Barney will react to this idea. She isn't even sure about how she feels about it herself. She originally wanted to turn it down, but there is something appealing about it. Though, there is something less than appealing about sharing her feelings with the world. She torn between telling him about it or not, because she has a feeling that he isn't going to want her to share the private details of her life any more than she does.

"Really? That's amazing Robin!" he exclaims. He's always been proud of her, and it doesn't surprise him that being pregnant would give her some sort of promotion. She does deserve it, after all.

"I'm not sure I want to do it, though."

"Why would you not want to do it?" he questions. "It will help keep you sane and give you something to do here at home when everyone else is at work, not to mention that it is an accomplishment. I mean, who else tells their boss that they are going out on maternity leave and ends up getting a special assignment."

His words warm her heart, as mostly anything he says about her in private does. The assignment just worries her. "I know. It's just what the assignment is."

He looks at her with a questioning glance. He wonders what exactly she's been asked to do. "What is it?"

"He wants me to start a blog." She hesitates. That doesn't seem that bad to him. "About my pregnancy."

"Oh," He breathes. "Oh." That explains it. He gets the hesitation now. Her boss is asking her to write about the personal parts of her life. Robin has never been one to share things about herself with other people, and her boss is asking her to do just that. There is a part of him that is uncomfortable with it as well, because it is part of his life too. However, there is a part of him that thinks that this might be a good thing for the both of them. It is going to be a long road ahead, one they both never expected to be on, and as exciting as it is, he knows that Robin is going to need a way to work through it all. Writing may be the best way for Robin to express her feeling about it all, even if there are a million people reading it.

"Yeah. I don't know what to think. Part of me wants to do it," he is glad that she thinks this, but he senses the 'but' coming. "…but part of me is really worried about it. I can barely share my feelings with you, let alone with the entire internet. But at the same time…"

"I think you should do it," he declares.

"You think I should?" She stares at him in utter shock. She was entirely expecting him to try to talk her out of it. There is no way that she would have thought he would be comfortable with this.

"Yes I do. Think about it. You have the chance to help someone in your shoes. How to deal with the situation of being stuck in bed, that maybe that they should question what their doctor says. Even if there is just one woman out there who was told the same thing you were, you have the ability to give her the hope to not give up. Think about how upset you were, and you didn't even want kids." She nods. His argument in favor of doing this makes complete sense. Her experience has been an emotional rollercoaster ride that she wouldn't wish on anyone. If she could help one person, it would be worth it. "But, I think it would be good for you to do it for you too."

His comment hits her out of the blue. "What do you mean?" she questions.

"It can be a way to express your feelings and work out your problems without having to talk about it. We both know this isn't going to be easy," she scoffs at that remark. He has no idea how hard this is going to be and she at some point she is going to have to make it worse. She really hopes that she can put that conversation off for as long as possible. "And it would be good for you to have a way to express yourself to people that can't judge you. Actually, scratch that, it is the internet. People can get pretty nasty on the internet. You just have to pretend that no one is reading it. Make it like a journal."

"I still don't know." His comment about the internet just made her more apprehensive about this than she had been. "This doesn't bother you? I would be writing about you too."

"I still think you should do it," he says resolutely. She takes a deep breath, and in that moment, she knows he is right about this.

"Ok. I'll do it. I will call McLaine in the morning." She smiles, surprisingly at easy with the decision to share her private life with the rest of the world. "Thank you. You are right. I think this will be great for me."

"You are the most wonderful woman in the world, and I love you, and I love this," he confirms as he puts his hand back on her stomach. He pauses for a minute and starts to laugh. "I never thought that a woman pregnant with my baby would turn me on so much."

"Yeah, you spent so many years avoiding this and teaching them to swim the other direction. You must not have done such a good job," she implies sarcastically.

"Maybe they knew they were supposed to go the right direction on this one," he replies sweetly.

She smiles at his explanation. "Maybe." There really is a sentimental side in there that no one knows about.

"I wasn't kidding though. There is something very hot about knowing that I was the one that did this to you, and of course, what we had to do for it to happen," he says seductively.

'Crap,' she thinks. She didn't expect to have to address this so soon. She was hoping she would at least have a day, but really, that wouldn't be them. Barney leans his head down to kiss her neck. She lets out a small moan. It feels so good. Why does it have to feel so good?

"Uhhh... Barney?" she says with a worried tone.

"Hmm?" he grunts, continuing what he is doing to her neck.

"You, uhh, kinda need to stop," she wills herself to say, not wanting it to stop any more than he does, but she needs to. For the baby.

"Ummmm..." he moans as his lips are still on her neck.

"Barney, seriously! Stop." she exclaims. "Don't make me Flugelhorn you," she adds sternly.

The word flugelhorn gets his attention. "What?" he whines. "I'm in the middle of my mojo here."

"Uh... well... how do I say this?" Say what? He wonders what could possibly be so important. "Umm... we kinda… well, we kinda can't," she cringes, "we can't have sex," she utters as fast as possible.

"WHAT?" he shouts with his mouth agape. He can't process what she just said. They can't have sex? Really?

"We can't have sex," she sighs. She doesn't like it any more than he does. "It was in the paperwork from the doctors."

"For… for how long?" he implores, still unsure if this is really happening.

"I don't know. I can call and ask tomorrow if you want." He thinks that she is really calm about all of this. She must be completely ok with this. She is stronger for this baby than he is, apparently. He doesn't want to seem as if he wants his own needs to take precedence over the baby.

"Nah…that's ok. We can wait until your next appointment. It is only 7 days away right?"

"Yeah."

A week isn't so bad. Yes, it is on the paperwork, but it probably doesn't apply to them. They are probably the exception to the rule. That is the law of their relationship. They aren't like everyone else.

"I can wait seven days. Seven days isn't that long," he states resolutely. He thinks about it though. There is more to sex than just sex. There are other things they could do. There are other ways to have a good time. "So we just do something else tonight."

"I don't know. I don't think we should do anything. The paperwork said to avoid all sex. I'm pretty sure that means everything." He sighs. It is going to be a long seven days. They hadn't gone that long, well, since they got engaged. But he had gone that long before. He could wait for seven days before they went to the doctor and were clear to go again. "I really wish we had had some time to read the paperwork and talk to the doctor before we left." She pauses because she has an idea. "Although, it doesn't say that daddy can't get any action." She says with a devilish smile on her lips. She lunges for his mouth, and starts trailing kisses down his chest. He knows exactly where she is going with this, and he can't help but feel a little bit guilty because she doesn't get to partake in the fun. But by far, he really does have the best wife ever.


	20. The Beginning of the Blog

Blink... blink... blink. The cursor keeps mocking Robin with its blink... blink... blink. She used to write stories all the time for work. She just doesn't understand why she can't do this. She knows it's because this time, the story is about her. She is sharing her life. When she thinks back on the last ten days since Barney suggested she might be pregnant, she can't believe how much has changed. She's now practically chained to their bed, but there is a baby inside of her. Not that there wasn't a few weeks ago, of course, but she just didn't realize it, nor would she have ever expected it. Everything that she had been feeling before those ten days makes sense now, but she still had not wanted to think about putting all the pieces together. She really had wanted to be pregnant. She had not admitted to anyone, let alone herself, that she did want to have a family. She had to keep it bottled up for self-preservation. There was no way she was going to admit to herself that she wanted something she couldn't have. The consequences would have been too dire. So she did what she always had done and pushed the feelings aside.

That wasn't to say that she isn't freaking out about this. To say she is just freaking out would be an understatement. The panic attacks she'd had in the last week about becoming a mother were worse than those of Barney's after their engagement. It didn't help that she spent sixteen hours a day for the last three days in bed a day just thinking about the baby. There is so much to do, so much she isn't ready for. She isn't even sure she can do it. Frankly, Barney seems to be the calm one in all of this. How, she has no idea, but he is. Maybe it is because he got to go to work and think about something else. It was just that the last three days had made it seem so real.

The first two days of being in bed weren't that bad for Robin. Since they had found out on a Friday, she got to spend the weekend with Barney. They had lounged in bed, watching movies, talking about the baby and getting her set up with some nearby food and a rolling desk that she could reach from the bed. The only times that he left her alone were when he went to get food, and even so, that was only to the door to get the delivery. She was grateful. He didn't have to spend all of the time with her, but he did anyway. But the harsh reality of Monday morning was horrible.

* * *

Barney was already gone by the time she woke up, but he had left her a note on her new desk. It makes her feel somewhat better, but it still doesn't help her feel any less lonely. So she tries to figure out what she can do with the day. She doesn't feel like shopping for baby things, because she wants to do that with Barney. She also isn't supposed to start her research work until two. She wants to call someone, but she knows everyone will be at work.

During their talk over the weekend, Barney and Robin realized that if she was going to do this blog, and start it this week, as her boss had requested, they needed to tell their families, and fast, because they didn't want them finding out about her pregnancy the same way the rest of the world would.

Robin really wants to tell everyone in person, but that's out of the question, with most of her family being three thousand miles away. She would have to settle with calling or e-mailing something to her mom and sister. She could tell her dad and Carol in person, but she isn't sure that she wants to do that either. She can't imagine him being ecstatic about becoming a grandfather.

Barney's family, however, is a completely different story. She can't wait to tell them, and she knows that everyone is going to be ecstatic, especially Jerry. Yes, Loretta would be excited, but this isn't her first grandchild. This would be Jerry's first grandchild, and for some crazy reason, she wants to tell the whole family in person. Only problem is that she can't leave the apartment. So in less than 3 days, both families would have to visit them, and it would not be easy to pull off. So she figures, what a better way to spend the day than to make this all come together.

The first thing she does is call Barney to make sure that his schedule is open all week. It goes to voicemail, so she tries his secretary. She finds out that his schedule is clear for the week, and she asks her to keep every night open. She figures that they should tell Loretta first, after all, she is the parent with the closest relationship to either one of them. She was always there for Barney, and frankly she deserves to hear the good news before anyone. She almost likes Loretta more than she likes her own mother, although she really doesn't like her mother that much anyway. All she had gotten out of that relationship were some long talks on the phone, lectures, and a pop music career. All things she could have done without. So she calls Loretta, and fortunately she is free and able to come over for dinner tonight.

Next, she calls James and invites him over as well. She knows Barney would want it that way. Fortunately, it is Tom's night with Eli and Sadie, so he is free and they can have a grown up dinner, just the four of them. Well, the five of them.

Then she calls Jerry. He lets her know that the three of them, Cheryl, JJ and himself, are free on Wednesday. He doesn't know about Carly, because she is in the city taking a summer class. He invites them to come out to the suburbs for a visit. She has to insist that she host, of course, because she doesn't want to give anything away. He finally agrees, because he likes her, and sets the date for Wednesday. Finally she calls Carly, who has matured a great deal since they first met her, and she is indeed free on Wednesday.

Now all she has to do is think of a fun way to break the news to everyone, since it will come as quite a shock to all of them, because they both spent years telling everyone they were never having children. She spends the next hour scouring Google and Pinterest for any idea. Every single one of them is entirely too cutesy for her, like the couple standing against a wall with a plus sign between them and an equals sign and a three on their left. Cute was never her thing. Her father took that out of her when she was very young. She also finds a story about a woman who gave her parents a copy of the sonogram in the frame, but again, that seems too cheesy for her and Barney. Everything she sees is making her more nauseous than her morning sickness. But just about when she is ready to give up, she comes across a simple picture of a onesie with a due date and it hits her. It's perfect. Perfectly her and Barney: a picture of the maple leaf onesie. She can send a picture of it to her mom, dad and Katie. They will all love it. Well, her mom and sister will love it. Her dad will probably find a way to make it into a big joke. Now all she has to do is figure out what Barney did with it. She remembers throwing it on the table, which seems like such a long time ago now, but she hasn't seen it since. Maybe he doesn't even have it anymore. He might have thrown it away after their fight. She really hopes he still has it though, because it is just too perfect. Now she just has to figure out how to tell Barney's family.

At two, she realizes she just spent the last four hours looking at pregnancy related things and planning on how to tell their families about the pregnancy. She can't help but laugh at how crazy this is. She never thought she would be taken over by this pregnancy stuff, but she has to admit that it has been fun, at least for today, if only because she was making fun of everything.

When Barney gets home, she tells him about her day, and she stops short about telling him about the onesie. She asks, "whatever happened to the onesie?"

"The onesie?" he asks, thrown by the question.

"Yes, the maple leaf onesie. I had this idea for how to tell my parents, but I need it. You didn't throw it out did you?"

"Uh, no, I hid it. I wasn't ready to get rid of it yet when you stormed out, because I still thought I was right, but I knew it upset you. So I buried it in the back of my desk. Why?"

She explains exactly what she is thinking about, and he declares "wow! How perfect is that! What do I need to get?" She smiles and rattles off the list. When he is walking around the room, gathering the items she requested, he mentions, "maybe we should give a copy to all of my family too. It would be an awesome way to bring it up."

"Perfect." She smiles. Just what she was looking for, plus a lot less work.

* * *

One photo shoot, some photo editing software, and two printed pictures placed in envelopes later, Loretta and James arrive.

"So what's the big dinner emergency, Wuv-Wuv?" Loretta asks.

"Can't I just want to have dinner with my family?"

"No." James answers before Loretta has the chance. "We've never done this before," he gestures, motioning around the room.

"Ok, fine," Barney concedes, "We never do this. But I have something for the both of you, and I couldn't wait to give them to you," he explains while handing them both an envelope.

"What is this for?" Loretta questions.

"Just open it," Robin answers.

Loretta and James both stare at the image of a maple leaf onesie lying on what looks like a woman's red-shirted torso with the date 2/13/15 at the bottom. Loretta is the first to realize the shirt that Robin is wearing matches the one in the picture, and she immediately squeals with delight.

"Really?"

"Really," both Barney and Robin confirm, smiles spread across their faces.

* * *

The congratulations continued throughout dinner, and after they finally left, Robin realizes it would be a great time to call her mom. Even with the time difference, she should be free at this hour. She fills Barney in on her plans, and he offers her the time alone to talk to her mom. She was going to suggest to him to spend some time 'alone' while she was on the phone anyway. So she leaves with a wink, telling him to pick a good 'movie', and that hopefully she can come help finish him off before it's over.

When she is back in the bedroom alone, she uploads the picture on to an email for her mom, and hits the send button on the computer at the same time she hits the send button to make the call on her phone.

"Hi, mom."

"Hi, Robin. It's been such a long time. How is New York? How is the job? How is Barney?"

"Everything is good. I actually just sent you picture that I want you to look at."

"Right now?" her mom questions.

"Yes, right now mom."

"Give me a few minutes to turn on the computer." Robin groans. Her mom is so technologically illiterate. "So has anything interesting happened at work? I've noticed that you haven't been anchoring for the past few days. Is everything alright?"

Robin sighs. "Yes mom, I just took some time off. Are you almost there?"

"No the computer is still turning on." At this point, she could have just called and told her. "How is my son-in-law doing?"

"He's great mom. Not much to say."

Sensing that Robin doesn't want to talk yet, her mom changes the subject.

"Katie brought this lovely boy home for dinner the other day. His name is Dean. I think he will be good for her."

"That's great mom. Did she find a job yet?"

"No, not yet. She is still searching, but you know how that is. It took you a long, long time to get where you are in your career." Robin rolls her eyes. She really doesn't need to do all this small talk.

"I know mom. Are you almost there yet?"

"Yes sweetie. I don't understand why this is so important. It's just an email." Robin is silent. "It is just an email, right?"

"Yes, mom," Robin says, trying to hide her real reasons for the email.

"Alright. I'm opening it." She pauses. "I'm not sure what I am looking at though. That is a cute baby outfit, but I don't understand why you are sending me this picture. It's not like I have any grandchildren to buy it for, or anything. Maybe someday for Katie, but she is still working on finding the right guy and…"

"Mom…"

"Yes dear?"

"Think about it," Robin says, waiting for the puzzle pieces to click together in her mom's brain.

"OH MY GOD! YOU'RE PREGNANT!" she screams gleefully into the phone, as Robin waits for the endless parade of questions to start. "How long have you known? Do you have a doctor yet? When are you due? Did you tell your bastard father yet? Oh, I'm so happy, and so happy for you!"

Her mother went on and on. Unfortunately, she has to pay attention to this conversation, even though she is missing Barney. She is wondering how he is doing out in the living room without her. She continues listening to her mother jabber on, and has just about wrapped up the conversation when Barney comes in just his boxer briefs and curls up next to her. She wonders just how long she has been on the phone for, but she makes the excuse that it's getting late here, which is the truth. She finally breaks free of her mother's chitter-chatter, and falls asleep in Barney's arms.

* * *

The next day, she got the chance to have breakfast with Barney before he left for work, but it just left her more time to be lonely.

She starts the day by herself off by opening up her email. For the most part, her mail consists of the usual junk mail and one or two from her boss about her work. However the most interesting one is from Tracy.

It's not that Robin doesn't like Tracy, she really does, but they don't have as close of a relationship to each other as Robin has with Lily, or even Tracy has with Lily. She always sensed that there was something between them that wasn't quite right. Maybe it still had to do with Ted. This email, however, seems like something Lily would have sent her. Maybe it's a peace offering that has to do with the babies.

_ Robin, _

_ I was doing some looking around today at work and found some websites you might like to look at. I also thought it might keep you busy today. :) Hopefully Ted and I can drop over soon to see you! _

_ Tracy _

It was genuinely nice of her to think of Robin. Maybe she should count her lucky stars that Ted is doing this right now too. That way, at least they have someone going through this with them, even if she is the only one stuck in bed.

So she clicks on a link. What can it hurt? It turns out, everything. The first website she clicks on is like a baby encyclopedia. There is no way she would be able to digest all of this information, let alone sanely. There are so many things to look at. Personalized baby calendars, baby names, information about how to eat, how to sleep, how to parent. It is overwhelming, and that is when the worst panic attack of the week begins. She works her way through it, she has had them before, and she knows how to deal with them. She just tells herself everything she told Barney a year and a half ago on how to calm down. She reminds herself that she doesn't have to read this all today. She still has six months until the baby gets here.

When she has calmed down enough to look at the website again, she clicks on the link for the personalized baby calendar. They never did figure out when the baby was conceived, so maybe this can help her narrow it down. It doesn't, but it does tell her exactly what is happening with the baby this week, week 13 of being pregnant. Apparently the baby is the size of a peach this week, and is forming vocal cords and teeth. And, it already has fingerprints.

Now, however, she is motivated to find out exactly when they might have conceived, because she is immensely curious. Even if it is just to narrow it down to a week. She scours the internet for a calculator that will figure out the date of conception based on her due date. She eventually finds it, and she is stunned by what she finds. She can't wait to show Barney, but she's disappointed because when she looks at the clock, it is only 11 am.

She spends the rest of the day until her two o'clock research time trying to figure out a way to start her blog. She thinks for about five minutes, then thinks of some sort of question that sends her into a panic, and looks up the answer on the websites that Tracy sent. The day cycles this way until almost two, when she starts to break down into another panic attack from having too much to think and worry about. She tries to calm down and think about them actually making this baby.

Barney arrives home that day slightly worried about Robin and the baby. He spent the whole day feeling like something was wrong, and that he needed to be home, so when he hears Robin yell out to him, he starts to panic.

"I think I figured it out!" Robin shouts out as she hears Barney open the door. He immediately runs back to the bedroom.

"What? Is everything ok?" he asks, out of breath from sprinting across the living room.

"I think I figured it out," she explains giddily. "When it happened."

"When what happened?" He is confused beyond belief.

"Oh, sorry, context. You weren't here with me. I forgot." He rolls his eyes. He wasn't expecting the pregnancy brain to kick in this soon. "I found this baby website today. It's called the Bump. Well, I didn't actually find it. Tracy sent it to me. It is a bit cheesy for me, but I did find something useful."

"And that is?"

"Well it's a week by week pregnancy calendar. You can see what is happening each week, but if you put in your own information, it will tell you what is happening when."

"Ok, sounds cool, but you still aren't getting to the point here Robin," he mentions, slightly aggravated by her long explanation.

"I know, sorry. Damn pregnancy brain. I have it already. I think I figured out when we conceived."

"How did you figure that out? I thought we said it would be impossible to figure it out."

"Well, we will never know the exact time for sure, but look at when it was around." She turns the computer screen towards him to show him. His jaw drops. "It can't be exact of course, but…"

"Wow," he says breathily. "So it happened in Mexico?"

"If they are right with my due date, yes, it happened in Mexico. Neither one could help but think back to their trip.

* * *

They decided to take a second honeymoon trip, because, well they could, and to get away from the craziness that was Ted and Tracy's upcoming wedding. It was still two weeks before the wedding, and they didn't tell anyone else they were going until they got there, because they knew the rest of the gang would never approve of them leaving at the time. Ironically, the one who didn't say anything was Tracy. Robin didn't know if she just didn't want to say anything, but she seemed sincere when she told them to have a great time. They arrived at a wonderful resort on the Saturday before their first anniversary. Barney had planned the whole thing, and she had no idea where they were going or what they were going to be doing when they left for the airport.

As usual, Barney had spared no expense, and had booked a private ocean front suite with a private plunge pool and Jacuzzi at a secluded resort south of Cancun. Apparently, it was a favorite destination for some of Hollywood's rich and famous. Not that they happened to have a brush with any of the celebrities that frequented, but they certainly got to act like them. Between the private beach, private pool, and butlered room service, they almost never left their little slice of heaven, which meant, of course, that they spent almost the entire time having sex everywhere and every way that they could. But, there was one time that was different from all of the rest.

On the day of their anniversary, Robin was awoken by a loud knock on the door. She looked at the alarm clock, and realized that she and Barney had fallen asleep for a few hours after a quite wild afternoon romp. It was five pm, and as she heard the knock again, she realized Barney was nowhere to be found. She figured that he must have locked himself out when he went to get something. She quickly got up and covered herself a towel to open the door.

"Mrs. Stinson?" a short Mexican woman on the other side of the door asked.

"Yes?" Robin answered in a panic. She thought something terrible had happened to Barney.

"I here for you appointment. To get you ready."

"Ready for what?" Robin interrogated.

"Mr. Stinson say not to worry. You see."

So Barney was behind all this. She wasn't sure how she had expected the rest of their anniversary to go, but this was certainly not it. A private, romantic dinner, maybe, but not this.

The woman rolled in a cart and instructed her to sit down. She started doing her hair, and not in a way she would have normally, but in a fancy updo. Robin really wanted to know what was going on, but she knew better than to ask, because the woman probably didn't know anyway. When she was finished with Robin's hair, she started on makeup. Right before she left, she stuck a plumeria flower in her hair and told her that Maria would be along soon to help her get dressed.

When Maria knocked on the door, she was anxious to see why someone would be helping her get dressed, and into what. Maria brought in a white long garment bag, as well as two smaller paper bags. One was from her favorite lingerie store in Manhattan and the other was from Tiffany. As much as she wanted to see what was in the jewelry bag, her gut was telling her that she should look in the garment bag first.

As much as she had been suspicious enough to be expecting to see a white dress in there, she was shocked at the dress that she saw. It was the other dress she had fallen in love with while dress shopping. She almost loved it more than her original dress, but she and Lily agreed that its free flowing skirt, short train and simple bodice were much too casual for their formal wedding. She never told Barney about that dress, but here it was, in front of her, in all of its glory. She started to tear up at that moment, because she realized that this isn't something he just threw together. He did his homework. How Barney had pulled this off, she would never know.

The dress fit like a glove, as did the foundation garments for the dress. The diamond earrings perfectly matched the dress, but there was an empty box in the bag from Tiffany. She would have to remember to ask Barney about it. She has no idea how he ended up pulling this off. She is still in too much shock to be able to think about it. The last thing that Maria gave her was a bouquet of white plumeria, orange lilies, and pink orchids, while she escorted her out of the room. Before they left, Robin glanced at the clock and noticed that it was seven. It seemed like the shortest two hours of her life.

When she arrived at the beach, Barney was standing in the sand wearing a suit with no shoes, which was ironic, even for him. There was another man with him. They waited for her to approach, and soon it was just the three of them. When she arrived at the spot the he was standing, he got onto one knee and asked her, "Will you marry me? Again?"

She couldn't believe that he had planned all this. "Of course! Do you think I would really say no?"

It was a very short, but sweet, beachside ceremony that was perfect in every way. The box that had nothing in it in her room was for the anniversary band for the other side of her engagement ring, which he gave her during the ceremony. Every minute of it was perfect, unlike their first wedding a year earlier. It was finally the time for their moment of peace.

After the ceremony, they walked a down the beach, and came across a table for two.

"How did you do all this?" she asked, unable to wipe the smile off her face.

"You're surprised I take it?" he answered with his trademark grin on his face.

"Yes. First of all, the dress. How... how did you even know?"

"Lily told me," he answered resolutely.

"Of course." Robin shook her head. Leave it to Lily to blab.

"But no one else knew about this. Even Lily doesn't know why I wanted to know. This is just for us."

"Why? Why the big romantic gesture. You hate those."

"I felt like I owed it to you, after the wedding went so horribly."

That topped the list of sweetest things Barney had ever said. "Thank you so much. I love you, Barney."

"And I love you Robin. I never thought that I would love anyone half as much as I love you."

And as special as their vow renewal was, it was later that felt even more so. When they arrived back at the room, after a few scotches and cigars, they found the room bathed in candlelight. It was the most beautiful thing that Robin had ever seen.

"How did you?" Robin asked, stunned.

"A magician never reveals his greatest trick," he teased.

She smiled at him and shook her head, and the sparks between them became magnetic. But this time was different. They had had sex in many different ways, and in many different places. They had even made love before, as much as they both hated the phrase. But there had been something magical about that time. She didn't know what it was at the time. She thought that maybe it was the magic of the evening, or the bottle of scotch that they had shared. But they had been in those situations before. The night of their engagement was incredible, but it was nowhere near the night in Mexico.

* * *

"So you think it happened then?" Barney questions.

"It was completely different that time," she says dreamily.

Barney looks over at her and smiles. "It really was." He doesn't want to burst her bubble, but he needs to say it. "You know we will never know for sure though."

"I know," she sighs, "but to me, that was it. That was the time. That was when we made this," she says, putting her hand on her stomach.

"I agree," he agrees. "Just thinking about that night makes me…"

"Yeah," she replies breathily.

In that moment, he pulls her in for a kiss, a kiss like they hadn't shared since they found out about the baby.

* * *

He slowly unhooked and unzipped her dress. She unknotted his tie. She was so enraptured that he had done all of this for her. She had never felt so loved in her entire life. The way he held her, the way he caressed her. It was like all of their nights rolled into one. The fire of their first night when they broke the bro code, the passion of their first time together as a couple when they avoided the talk, the carnal need of their November affair, and the tenderness and love of their first time as an engaged couple. It was everything and nothing like before. As he thrust into her, she thought about how it was never like this. If there was any truth to his nanny scam in the few months before their engagement, it was this. The number of orgasms she'd had so far were sure to wipe her from the face of the earth. The feelings were so intense; she had been on the verge of tears. Not bad tears, but good tears. She felt as though something was taking over her body. Something she had never felt before.

* * *

"Damn it!" Robin wails in frustration, breaking apart the kiss. Thinking about that night has made her horny, and now all she wants to do is climb on top of him. She knows she can't, but that doesn't stop her from wanting it all the more.

"I know. This sucks," he whines. Thank god it is only three and a half days until their doctor appointment, when they can clear this all up, and get back to sex.

"It's for the baby, remember?"

"I know. I'm sorry. I love the two of you so much."

"And we love you."

"God, when did we get to be so corny?"

"I don't know. Let's blame it on this," she says with a laugh, while touching her stomach.

* * *

Later that night, Robin emails Katie with the picture, but she decides to wait for Katie to call her back. When her phone rings, she holds it away from her face, expecting the squeals of enthusiasm that reverberate over the speaker.

"AHHHHH! OHHHH MY GODD! You're pregnant! I am so happy!"

After she fills Katie in on the details, Katie realizes it is getting late, and she tells Robin to go to bed, because she wants a strong niece, and the best way for that to happen is to get some rest.

"I don't even know what it is yet, Katie."

"I know. I just have a feeling it is going to be a girl." Robin hadn't thought much about what it was going to be, and she didn't really care, but she had always pictured a little boy in a suit.

"Alright, Katie, whatever you say."

* * *

Finally, though, it is Wednesday. It seems like forever ago that she was at the doctors. She misses seeing the gang every day. Lily had stopped by briefly to say hi the day before, but that was all. She misses going to MacLaren's. She misses going to work. She misses just getting to leave the apartment. She misses her old life. And it has only been five days. At least the nights haven't been boring, with all the family visiting, but she knows after tonight, that is going to end too.

She figures that before she gets too lonely thinking about all of the things that have changed or gives herself another panic attack, she should try to start working on the blog. She thinks and thinks. She thinks about how she never wanted this. She thinks about how she said she was never having children. She remembers arguing with Ted years ago, trying to convince Lily why she shouldn't have a baby. And yet, here she is. The idea of being a mother scared her back then. Ted was right. She was scared of babies. She is slightly less afraid now, because she has had the experience of being an Aunt to Marvin, but she is still scared about it. She left a stranger hold him, and left his stroller roll out into the street for crying out loud. She types two sentences onto the blank page.

-I'm not the kind of woman that wanted this. 25 year-old me said she was never getting married or having children.-

The words don't seem right to her. She understands how important it is to start this blog on the right foot, with the right words. She stares at the screen, and just keeps staring. She is getting nowhere. There are so many ways she can go with the blog, and she has no idea which way to go, or how to make the words feel right. She keeps staring until her eyes start to drift shut. When she wakes up, she realizes that she slept through her entire free time. She even slept through lunch. She's starving, so she gets her lunch out of the fridge at the side of the bed and starts her work for the day. So much for working on the blog, she thinks.

* * *

The rest of the day goes by in a blur. The Whitakers arrive around 7, and thankfully, Barney made it home just in time with the food from their favorite restaurant.

"I could have cooked you know," Cheryl chides.

"I know, but we never get to host," he insists. "Not to mention Robin can't leave the apartment."

Robin is jarred by Barney's slip. Barney, thankfully, manages to keep a straight face.

"Just kidding. I let her go places. Sit down. We have something to give you."

They decided they should tell them the same way they had told Loretta and James. He hands out the envelopes, and they wait for the reactions just as they had the other night.

This time, it is Carly who figures it out first. "OMG! Really?" she squeals. Maybe she hadn't matured as much as Robin thought.

"What?" JJ asks, clueless as to what is going on.

"You're going to be an uncle."

"Really?" Cheers erupt from the family. Barney had never felt quite this complete before. A baby on the way and his father sharing the news with him. This would have been a crazy dream just a few years ago.

* * *

After the joyous meal, Robin knows the last person she has to tell: her father. It was the one she was looking forward to the least, but they had somewhat repaired their relationship since he moved to New York. She at least owed it to him to tell him before he found out about it on WWN, but it wasn't like he watched anyway. Maybe she could get away with not telling him for a while. She realizes that he should know, so she sends him the email too. She isn't expecting to hear anything from him for days.

* * *

The cursor keeps blinking and she keeps thinking about how much has changed. She is getting used to this, although she is missing the connection with Barney. She misses being with him. She thinks about how her life has changed. She never expected her life to turn out like this. She spent her life running away from marriage and kids, but here she is married and pregnant, and happy about it. She doesn't know when this changed, when Barney changed her, but somehow he did.

At that moment, she realizes it: the perfect way to start her blog. She should start it with what she was just thinking about. She types the document before her brain can forget what she just worded perfectly.

_ \- I'm not the kind of woman that ever expected to be writing a blog like this. I spent most of my life running away from marriage and kids. But now I find myself married and pregnant, and for the most part, I am happy about it. - _

She thinks about what changed all of that. What made her want all this? The pregnancy scare. The moment that everything was taken away from her. The moment that she thought she was pregnant with Barney's child, and then it was gone, forever. That's when this changed. That's when her resistance against children ended. Mostly, because she thought it couldn't happen anyway, but there was something appealing about imagining those children. Imagining what they would be like. How beautiful something that was the two of them would be.

_ \- I was told a few years ago, after a pregnancy scare- _

No. She couldn't write that. No one knew about that. The only other person in the world that knew about that was Barney. Ted, Marshall, and Lily still didn't know about why she found out about her infertility. There had to be another way to word this.

_ \- I was told a few years ago, after thinking I was pregnant, that I would never have children.- _

And then it came pouring out of her.

_ \- I never really wanted children, but I had always wanted to keep my options open. When I found out about my infertility, I was heartbroken in a way that I never expected. Over time, I made my peace with the idea of not having children. Between then and now, I found the love of my life, who I never thought I would find, and married him. We both knew going in that neither of us needed children to make our life complete. But a few weeks ago, all of that changed. We defied the odds, and somehow, I ended up pregnant anyway. It turns out that the doctor from a few years ago had made a semantics mistake- it was unlikely that I would ever become pregnant, not impossible. However, the cause of my "infertility" is also the reason that I am writing. I am on bed rest, meaning that I must stay in bed for the remainder of my pregnancy in order to keep the baby healthy. So viewers, for the next 28 weeks I will be filling everyone in on what is likely to be a pretty grey existence- no joke, all of the walls in my apartment are grey- as I continue my pregnancy, and hopefully my life changing story can help you in some way.- _

That was it. All that she had been trying to write in the last few days came pouring out of her in less than five minutes. Maybe this won't be so bad after all. She just has to write what come out of her, and she just has to trust, that it will indeed come, no matter how much she doesn't know what to write. And if nothing else, she can just look at her stomach for some sort of inspiration. She knows she can find it there.


	21. What Doesn't Kill You

"Mr. Stinson?" Barney looks up from his desk to his assistant who just walked through the door.

"Yes, Grace?"

"You wanted me to remind you that it it's time to leave."

"For?" he questions. He knows there is something but he doesn't remember what.

"Your wife's doctor appointment."

"Oh, crap."

Barney had been so stressed this entire week. Today marked a week since he had found out about his impending fatherhood. He had wanted to be a father, he knew that much, but the stress of the actual thought of it was creeping him out. Not to mention that work had not been the best this week. The North Koreans used this week of all weeks to freak out about a minor detail, and he felt all the more guilty about having to rush home every day, mostly because Robin had scheduled dinner plans almost every evening. And to make things worse, there was the no sex thing, and sex was always his best stress relief when things at work weren't going well.

He can't believe that he even forgot this appointment is today. He knew it is today, and he had been looking forward to it all week, so that the doctor could tell them this whole no sex thing was a joke. But between the North Koreans, and the idea of becoming a father, his mind had been on overdrive.

He left his freak-outs for work, though. He did not want to stress out Robin any more than he needed to. So he kept himself cool, calm and collected while at home. After all, she didn't seem to be freaked out or scared by this whole baby thing, so he shouldn't be either, right?

A part of him loved seeing the reactions on everyone's faces this week when they told them the news, but there was a part of him that still isn't excited himself. He doesn't know if he can do this. But now is not the time for a freak-out. Now is the time to meet Robin at the doctor, for her first outing in a week.

He has scheduled with Ranjit to pick him up at work, and then to pick her up at the apartment. He really doesn't want her traveling alone in the city, with all the complications. As soon as he steps away from his office and into the town car, he feels much more calm about the entire situation. He is looking forward to this doctor appointment so much, as well as the little surprise he has for Robin afterwards.

 

* * *

 

"Hey, Baby, you ready?" Barney shouts as he enters the apartment.

"Uh… Yeah, I guess," Robin responds tentatively.

"What is it?" he questions, slightly worried about her and the baby.

"Well, it's just that I have almost nothing to wear. I mean that really isn't that much of a problem, but I wore everything that fit me already this week, so I guess I have to go out like this," she declares, emerging from the bedroom in black yoga pants, one of her Canuck t-shirts, and a pair of ballet flats. "I just don't get to dress up anymore. I miss it," she says dejectedly. Barney smirks. "What was that?" she grills.

"What was what?" he brushes off.

"The smirk."

"Oh, uhhh, nothing."

"No, it wasn't nothing. Stop lying."

Barney pauses. He doesn't want to give away his surprise. She knows him so well. But she still does look beautiful. "You look beautiful no matter what you're wearing."

"What did you do?" she interrogates, seeing directly through his act.

"Nothing. I swear," he says, throwing his hands up, trying to declare his innocence.

"Fine. I'm ready to go then. Let's get a move on, so that hopefully later, we can get a move on," she says with a wink while walking out the door. He can't believe how extremely lucky he is to have this beautiful woman, who in the good ways, is just like him.

 

* * *

 

"Any problems in the last week?" Dr. Black asks the couple when she enters the room.

"Nope," Robin answers, because other than her panic attacks, she felt just fine.

"How are the shots going?"

"Just fine."

"Ok," the doctor nods while making a few notes in her chart. "We aren't going to do an ultrasound this week, but I am going to measure your stomach the old fashioned way." She takes a tape measure and wraps it around Robin's stomach. "Looks just fine, you seem to be growing right on schedule." the doctor writes down the measurement in the chart. "Of course we are going to need you to go downstairs for more blood work and other testing, but the results that came back last week were all in a normal range. Do you have any questions for me?"

"Actually, yes, we do have a few."

"Ok."

"There were no specifics about showering. What should I be doing there?"

"Baths are better, but you can take a short shower, no longer than 10 minutes, every day. You want to try to limit the time on your feet to no longer than 20 minutes a day. That includes showering and walking to the bathroom. You also want to make sure you do the stretches that were included in the packet, just to keep up some of your muscle definition."

"Ok. That was another one of my questions, about the exercises, that is. The other question we had was about sex."

"Ahh. That is one we get a lot. I guess we should look into changing the wording on the paperwork. The thing that I hear most from women on bed rest is that the pregnancy increases their sex drive. Have you experienced that so far?"

"Uh, no, actually we just were wondering if we really are not supposed to have sex."

"For you, I am going to recommend nothing stimulating until the end of the pregnancy. Nothing that could lead to an orgasm." No. This was not supposed to be the answer. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This can't be. The doctor can't be saying this. No. No. No! They can't possibly not have sex for the next six months, or even more.

"So nothing? Nothing at all?" Barney asks, hoping that is not the true answer, and she will tell them shortly that she is joking. He remembers what Lily and Marshall were like after six months, and they in no way compare to him and Robin in their sex life. This could ruin them.

"No, it's what's best for the baby. An orgasm could send you into premature labor. You can still do things for him, but there is nothing that would be healthy for you. I hope you can understand that."

"Yes," they say simultaneously, looking at each other and knowing that this is going to be the worst part. They know they can make it through the rest, but this won't be the easiest thing for them. They know without a doubt that there will be some problems because of this, but little do they know that they will be stronger because of it.

 

 


	22. Sweetness and Laughter

"Well that wasn't what I was hoping for," Barney says dejectedly as they finally settle into the back of the town car.

"Me neither, but it's for the baby," Robin sighs.

"Yep for the baby," he reluctantly agrees.

"So what's the surprise?" she asks, hoping that the surprise isn't ruined.

"The surprise. Riiiight," he teases.

"Oh, don't tell me you're not going to tell me now," she says condescendingly.

"Nope. Not going to tell you. You're going to have to wait and see. But it doesn't matter, because we are almost there."

"We aren't anywhere close to the apartment."

"I know."

"But I'm not supposed..." Robin stutters.

"Don't worry about it. Come on, we're here," he exclaims, dragging her out of the car.

She looks out the car, and they are nowhere other than Madison Ave, standing in front of one of the trendiest maternity boutiques in all of New York City.

"Barney? What are we doing here?"

"Well, you said it yourself; you are going to need some new clothes. But don't worry, I called ahead, and they have a very comfy chair and footstool waiting for you inside of one of the dressing rooms, and a personal shopper to go get you things, so you don't have to be on your feet very long at all. Actually you never have to get up, as long as you don't have to pee."

"Barney... you didn't have to..." she insists. This will be one of the top things on the list of sweetest things he's ever done for her.

"I wanted to. You deserve it," he explains, using his sincere voice, the one he only uses with her. "You will have to go through so much more for all of this. It's the least I can do." He knows it's true. There is so much that he wishes he could take on for her. He wishes that some days, he could stay in bed, and she could be free to move about.

"Thank you so much. I love you."

"And I love you. But enough of the sweet talk. Let's go get you some clothes that fit you and the baby." And she smiles, because this is just what she needed.

 

* * *

 

After the long trip to the boutique, which was tiring nonetheless, regardless of the fact that she was on her feat for none of it, she decides what she needs is to see the girls. They hadn't spent any time together since they both announced their pregnancies last week, and Robin missed them. Plus, rewarding Barney with a night of not having to wait on her hand and foot was a good way to show him that she appreciated the shopping trip earlier.

"What did the doctor say today?" Lily asks, and Robin goes pale. Lily starts to panic "What, is something wrong with the baby?"

"No. It's not that, it's just, well, apparently," she pauses, not quite sure how to say this and what their reaction is going to be, "one of the things about bed rest is that you can't have sex."

As soon as the word sex leaves her mouth, Lily and Tracy burst out hysterically laughing. It is not the reaction she was expecting, all though she doesn't know what she was expecting. Sympathy maybe?

"It's not funny," Robin insists. She was hoping that they would take this seriously, but they obviously didn't.

"Actually, it is. Maybe you don't see it now, maybe you won't for a while, but it is," Lily spits out between giggles.

"Yeah, someday we will look back on this, and you will be laughing with us," Tracy giggles along.

"Why is this funny?" she demands. She doesn't get it. At all.

"It's like karma!" Lily tries to explain. Tracy nods her head in agreement.

"I still don't get it," Robin retorts.

"Come on, this has to be the longest Barney has ever gone or will have to go without sex."

"He's gone two months before," Robin defends. They really don't see her side of Barney do they? Yes, it isn't going to be easy, but he will be just fine.

"Really?" Lily asks, shocked.

"When?" Tracy questions.

"Right before we got engaged," Robin says matter-of-factly. There was more to him than met the eye. But, she figures, if he hadn't told her, she probably wouldn't have believed it either.

"But I saw him pick up girls," Lily insists, because, yes, he had picked up some girls in the beginning, but he never did anything with them. They were all a part of the play, in order to keep his appearances up. It would have been incredibly suspicious had he not been picking up girls, because that was what they knew.

"He never slept with them," Robin defends.

"I find that hard to believe," Lily says skeptically.

"Well, he didn't, ok! Just drop it," Robin demands.

"Jeeze, don't be so hormonal, Robin," Lily teases.

"Damn it Lily!" Robin screams in her Patrice voice. The room becomes uncomfortable for a few moments, until Tracy changes the subject.

"So Robin, did you get any maternity clothes yet?" Tracy asks.

"Aww, that is such a good story! Yes, actually, on the way home from my doctor appointment today, Barney surprised me with a shopping trip."

"But I thought you weren't supposed to go out," Lily says curiously.

"I'm not, really, but we went to this great boutique on Madison Avenue..."

"Veronique?"

"Yep, and Barney had arranged a personal shopper, so that I could sit down the entire time with my feet up."

"Oh my god I am so jealous!" Lily exclaims. "I could only afford to get a few things from there! And to just get to relax the whole time while someone shopped for me, I would think I would have died and gone to heaven!"

"I don't know if I can even get anything from there. I still have my student loans to pay off," Tracy adds.

"It was the best shopping ever. But I finally got some clothes that fit now. I had to wear yoga pants to my doctor appointment today."

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry. Can we see what you got? It has to be amazing!"

"Yeah of course, it's all in the front of the closet. Check it out."

Tracy and Lily go into Robin's closet, and start pulling things out, commenting on how cute everything is. They spent the rest of the night with Tracy modeling the new clothes, and drinking virgin piña coladas.

 

* * *

 

Meanwhile, Barney shows up at Marshall and Lily's apartment for guy's night.

"Hey, Barney!" Ted yells as Barney enters the apartment.

"Do guys have some scotch?" Barney asks Marshall as he walks straight into the kitchen. He hasn't had a single drink since Robin found out she was pregnant, because he didn't want to drink in front of him. He was hoping that tonight would end with him and Robin having sex, but that is out of the question. So he figures, he deserves to drink at least a few glasses of scotch, if not the whole bottle.

"Uh, I'm not sure. Try the cabinet above the stove," Marshall responds. Barney opens the cabinet, and finds a bottle immediately.

"Oh good," he sighs. It isn't the best stuff, but at this point, it will do.

"What's up, Barney?" Marshall asks.

"I just need a drink, and now. This last week with no scotch and no sex has been insane," Barney whines.

"Whoa, hold up. What?" Marshall questions, catching the 'no sex part,' while Ted just nods.

"Well, Robin can't have it, so I don't want to drink it in front of her. That would just be rude, Marshall," Barney spits out. Half way through Barney's explanation, Ted caught on to what Barney had said earlier.

"No, no. Not that Barney," Ted steers him back to what they are both curious about. "No sex? In what universe do you and Robin go without sex for a day, let alone a week? There is no way at this point that you two would stop having sex."

"We can't have sex," Barney mumbles.

"What?" Marshall questions, not sure he heard Barney correctly.

"We can't have sex!" Barney screams. "You happy?"

"What do you mean you can't have sex?" Ted asks.

"It's apparently part of the bed rest," Barney says, resigned.

Marshall and Ted start laughing hysterically.

"So you're telling me that you can't have sex for the next six months?" Marshall asks, chuckling.

"Yes," Barney spits out in disgust.

"That's hilarious!" Ted shouts out with a chortle. "I never thought I would see the day."

"Oh go on, make fun," Barney says, resigning to the punishment.

"Payback's a bitch Barney. It's like cosmic justice. All those girls out there, and now you can't have sex," Ted teases.

"Ok, ok. I get it. It's funny because now that I have settled down, I can't have sex anymore," Barney laments.

"It's only six months Barney. It's not forever," Marshall adds.

"Yeah, you and Robin will be back at it in no time," Ted agrees and looks towards Marshall. "And you guys will be strong enough to do it through the baby's cries."

"Haha," Marshall fake laughs, not appreciating Ted's quip. "Plus, it's for the baby. Remember that."

"I know. It just sucks. Just never thought I would pick a baby over sex," Barney says dejected.

"Yeah, neither did we buddy," Ted says, still laughing over the revelation, "Neither did we."

 

 


	23. Challenge Accepted

Barney returns from Marshall and Lily's later that night slightly drunk and still really pissed. What the guys had said really hurt him more than he thought. Watching Field of Dreams and drinking the scotch helped, but he is still in a sour mood, now, hours later.

He walks in the apartment and sets down his keys and wallet like usual, worried about how Robin is going to react to him being drunk. It's a first for him to even worry about being drunk, but he has no desire to upset her right now. The night was already bad enough as it was. He slowly starts to make his way back to the bedroom when he hears her crying. He stops caring about her reaction and rushes to her side.

"Robin? What's wrong?" he asks, completely undisturbed by the thought that she might be mad at him. Her tears make that all go out the window. Not that they haven't always, but the baby makes the feeling stronger. Now he has two people to protect and worry about.

"Oh, it's just something that Lily and Tracy said tonight. It's stupid," she responds, trying to blow it off.

"No. It's not stupid. When you say it's stupid, that means it's something. What is it?"

She sighs and laughs cynically before continuing. "They were just making fun of us not being able to have sex. I shouldn't have let it bother me. I guess it's the hormones, but it just bothered me." He sighs and pulls her closer. He didn't even consider that the girls might have had the same reaction. Why is is that no one believes in them? Is it really that ridiculous?

"It's ok that it bothered you. It bothered me too," he whispers into her ear.

"What do you mean?" she questions, pushing him away a little big. She can smell the scotch on him, and it is making her nauseous.

"The guys weren't much better," he retorts, still angry over the whole thing.

"I take it that's why you smell like you downed an entire bottle of scotch?"

"Yes," he responds guiltily. He feels terrible now. He shouldn't have drunk the whole bottle. He shouldn't have drunk any of the bottle. He's a father now, and he needs to start acting like one.

Robin can see the guilt on his face and feels terrible. There is no reason that he shouldn't be able to drink. It's what they used to do. Just because she is pregnant, does mean that he should have to stop drinking.

"I'm sorry, it's just the smell isn't making me feel well."

"So you're not mad?" Barney questions timidly.

"No. I don't have a reason to be mad. You are home when we said you should be. I didn't say you couldn't drink, and frankly I don't blame you. I would join you right now if I could, but I am pretty sure this baby has already had enough alcohol for a lifetime."

"So it's fine?" he asks again, still not quite believing her.

"Yes, Barney, it's ok. Just because I can't drink doesn't mean that you can't. Just don't overdo it, because I can't take care of you if you get too drunk. Besides, one of us has to stay sane around here."

A small smile turns up the corners of his lips once he realizes that she really is cool with it. It might not be sex, but at least it's something. She smiles back at him, and sighs once more.

"I just don't get why no one believes in us," she whines. She is still bitter about the way Tracy and Lily laughed earlier.

"I don't know. I believe in us though."

"You do?"

"Yes, I mean, this hasn't been that bad. I'm not going to say that not having sex with you for the next six months isn't going to be a challenge, but it will be worth it. It's already been a week, and I'm not going to say I haven't missed you, but there is nothing that I wouldn't do to make sure you both are safe. I love you, and I love him or her already. We can do this. I don't care what they think." Robin giggles. "What?"

"You said it's going to be a challenge."

"Well then, it can be our challenge, and you know, there is no challenge that I can't win. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!"

Robin laughs and shakes her head. Typical Barney. "Yes, challenge accepted," she says, leaning over to give him a kiss. He is her challenge accepting idiot.

 

* * *

 

_8/21/14_

_So readers, another week has gone by. I am now 14 weeks pregnant. They baby is now about the size of a lemon, although judging by the size of my stomach, I would assume something much bigger is in there. But the baby is sucking it's thumb and moving it's toes, which when you think of how small it actually is, is quite impressive._

_One difficulty that I discovered being on bed rest, is the fact that I won't get to go shopping, a fact discovered when I had nothing that fit me to wear to my doctor appointment this week. Fortunately, I have a very observant husband, who realized that I was going to need maternity clothes before I did, and arranged a stop at a boutique that just happened to have a space for me to sit, while being helped out by others. It was shopping without all the downsides of tired feet. I got to spend the afternoon sitting in the store, while others brought things to me. I may have had my shopaholic best friend in jealous tears over the fact that I was the one that got to go on a shopping spree, but I finally have some clothes that fit me now._

_There is also something else that I never knew about bed rest. There are so many more things to bed rest than just staying in bed all day. It sounds like it would be the world's greatest thing, but it's not. It's rather boring staying in bed all day. There are also so many more things that are off limits, such as showering and sex. I am only allowed to be on my feet for 20 minutes a day, which may seem like a lot, but when you consider walking to the bathroom takes up a full minute, it is really not a long time._

_But, everything is going as scheduled, and now all of our families know about the great news. My husband and I are what our friends call a non-traditional couple. We really didn't like any of the cutesy ideas out there for sharing the news, but decided on this simple picture to share the news._

_And with that, I will see you all next week._

 

 


	24. To Test or Not to Test

"We should probably talk about the test that the doctor wants to do this week," Robin mentions to Barney as they are finishing up their Chinese takeout in bed late Monday night.

"Sure, the amniocentesis, what about it?" Barney asks. He isn't sure what Robin is getting at. To him, it is just a test. Why would there be a reason to talk about it? It is just a matter of getting it done.

"I'm not sure that I want to do it," she murmurs.

"You don't? Why would you not want to do it?" he questions, stunned that she is even thinking about not doing it.

"I don't know. There is just something telling me it's a bad idea," she admits.

"I can't believe you don't want to do this," he asserts. "Why wouldn't you want to know if everything's ok?"

"I...I…" Robin stutters, unable to answer him.

"You're scared that something's wrong and you don't want to face it, like you always do," Barney accuses.

"No!" she raises her voice. "That's not it at all, I…" Robin tries to say before Barney cuts her off.

"Yes it is! I can't believe this, I thought we were past this!" he yells angrily.

"Barney, just listen..." she pleads.

"No, I just can't deal with this right now!" he roars as he storms out of the bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

For the first few seconds, she can't even believe that he just stormed out, and she stares off into space completely dumbfounded. It doesn't take long before the hormones take over, and she is gushing tears like a fire hydrant, becoming a blubbery mess. She had been waiting for him to blow up at her for a while now, since he has been doing everything for her recently, plus going to his stressful job. And worse, she knows his stress relief is sex, and while there are ways for him to take care of that and even her to help, it still isn't the same. The surprise of it all, though, is over what he finally blew up at. A test? Really? Almost everything that they can find out from the test can be found out another way, and to risk the baby's life for one or two results? There is no way she is going to risk this baby's life any more than she possibly needs too. And if that means not taking a test, or sitting here in bed for the next six months, then that is what she is going to do. It's ironic to her, because she has no idea where this mothering instinct came from, but right about now it seems to be rearing its ugly head.

Meanwhile, Barney is perched on the couch in the living room, wondering how the conversation got so out of control. He is angry that she doesn't want to do this. It is a routine test. He knows Lily had it done. He takes a few deep breaths. He wonders why she wouldn't explain it to him.

"Crap," he mutters out loud as it hits him. He never let her finish. He jumped to conclusions, berated her with accusations, and never gave her the chance to speak. He should win the worst husband of the year award right now. It's not like she could even come to him and make it right. He wonders why she even puts up with him sometimes. He knows he needs to fix this right now. He gets up and slowly makes his way back to the bedroom, hoping that he can salvage this, and maybe have an adult conversation this time.

He slowly opens the door and enters the room, and Robin looks up to face him. He sees her crying, and the look on her face makes him immediately start rambling.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to storm off. I just think we should do this, but I didn't listen to why you don't want to do it. I want to listen to you now. I want to make it up to you for being such a jerk."

"Thanks, but I first want you to promise not to do that anymore, because I can't follow you now," Robin snivels, still trying to regain control of her hormones. "I need you communicate with me now. That is the only way this is going to work."

"I promise. I was sitting out there, and I realized I never left you tell me, and I'm really sorry. I want to know why you don't want to do this," he grovels.

"I'm scared that if we do it, I'm going to miscarry, and then…" she stammers, "and then we won't ever have a baby." She starts to cry again. What she says hits him like a freight train. He didn't think about that.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry. I am such an ass," he berates himself.

"It's ok. You didn't know. You haven't been here, researching it with me. Nobody told you it was a risk," she says reassuringly.

"No it's not, Robin," he apologizes again. "I wasn't thinking. I should have listened to you. You are the one growing the baby." The sentiment makes her smile again, finally being able to wipe away the tears.

"It's really ok. I forgive you."

"No, how can I make it up to you?" he questions.

"You can just be here with me. I miss you. I want to fall asleep next to you," she divulges. He doesn't need to make it up to her. She understands what happens, and she wants to be on the same page with him.

"Ok. I can do that." It astonishes him every day how amazing she is, and how willing she is to forgive him so quickly.

"Thanks," she replies, smiling at him, but her face turns serious. "Are we ok then? Are you ok with not having the test done?"

"I don't know. There is a part of me that still wants to know," he admits.

"I can understand that. I really can. If there was a way to find out without risking the baby, I would do it in a heartbeat. But think about it this way. If there is something wrong with the baby, what are we going to do about it?"

"I don't know. Have it anyway? I love it already."

"That's my point. We are both attached to it already. We could do this test, lose the baby and get the results that there was nothing wrong. Or there could be something wrong, but we can't do anything about it anyway. And anything that can be fixed we can find out about through the ultrasounds. So really, it doesn't matter if we get it done, because the results aren't going to change anything. And I don't think it's worth risking the baby for something we can't change."

"I never thought about it that way. How much time did you have to think about that?"

"All day," she chuckles. "I sometimes forget that you don't get to kick your feet up on your desk at work, relax and research baby things all day."

"Someone has to keep the North Koreans in line, Scherbatsky," he jokes. "But in all seriousness, I get it. I see your point, and I agree with you. I don't think that we should risk it."

"Good, I'm glad. So, want to watch a movie?" she asks.

"Sure. You pick and I'll go get it."

Barney and Robin settled in for the night, watching a movie while cuddled in bed. They had survived their first fight since they had found out about the pregnancy. There was no getting naked, there was no walking out the front door, there was no throwing plates, and no angry make-up sex. Somewhere in the last 5 years they had grown up. When it happened, they would never know, but they were slowly but surely on their way to becoming parents.

 

* * *

 

_8/28/14_

_The baby is now the size of an orange, and is apparently starting to move around, although I can't feel it yet. I am starting to get used to being on bed rest, and I finally have a routine down. I start off my morning by having breakfast with my husband before he goes to work. After he leaves, I take a short nap, and wake up feeling ready to do some work. Then, I will watch some tv or do some baby research, eating lunch somewhere during this time. At two, I start my research work for WWN. Yes, just because I can't go to work, doesn't mean I am not still working. After I finish my work for the day, I spend another hour or two reading before my husband comes home. Sometimes during this time, a friend or two will stop by. It's great to see them, because I used to spend so much time with them. At some point in the near future, my friend Tracy is even going to try to teach me how to knit. I am not nor have ever been a crafty person, because I was a tomboy growing up, but I thought it would be an interesting skill to learn. I can even try to make something for the baby._

_This week was the topic of a huge decision, one that I never even considered when I got pregnant. It might seem almost trivial to someone show has never had a baby. My husband and I had to decide if we were going to get amniocentesis test. The test involves drawing amniotic fluid, or the fluid around the baby, through a needle. It can tell you about genetic birth defects and other genetic issues, as well as the gender. You might think, 'why do you even need to think about doing this? You should obviously get it done.' That is what I thought at first, too. The problem is, there is a risk of miscarriage with the test. We had quite a long debate about whether we should risk losing the baby to see the results of a test that might not even matter. In the end, we decided not to do it. We are already incredibly excited about the baby, and we would be devastated to lose it, especially knowing that I would probably never get pregnant again. Our final agreement was that no matter what the test results said, we were going to keep the baby, so knowing the results didn't matter. But, the whole experience of the doctor recommending the test, and the risks involved, made wonder is the doctor is always right. My gut told me that I should not have this test done. Maybe it is best for me to trust my instincts. My instincts tell me to do everything possible to protect the baby, and that's what I want to do._

 

 


	25. Stone Cold Slytherin

Early one afternoon, just after finishing her lunch, Robin hears someone knocking at the door. She wonders who it could be, because she is sure that Barney gave the doorman strict instructions not to let anyone up to the apartment that wasn't one of the other four friends, who had keys and could come and go as they pleased. She decides to ignore it, because it must be some sort of mistake. The knocking continues, and turns into banging. She really doesn't want to get out of bed, especially since it probably isn't important. But the banging continues for the next 5 minutes. It is either someone extremely important or someone that knows she is here, and frankly, she is tired of it. She grabs her cell and one of her guns out of the nightstand, just in case the person is an intruder, and slowly starts creeping to the door.

"Who is it?" she asks, while removing the safety from the gun and pointing it towards the door.

"It's your father," the strong voice replies.

"Damn it," she mutters under her breath, quickly putting the safety back on and laying the gun down on the table behind the couch. She rushes over to the door and opens to it find her father on the other side, holding a gift of some sort.

"Dad," she asks surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"It's rude to keep someone waiting for so long you know. Could you not hear me?" he castigates as he pushes his way in the door.

"I could hear you just fine," Robin answers sarcastically, "but since Barney and I specifically told the doorman not to let anyone up here during the day, I was sure that there was nothing important here."

"Oh you mean that effeminate little boy in the lobby?" her father questions mockingly.

"Yes, and he is a man," she replies as calmly as she can. She really is not in the mood for this today. She will easily end up with stress levels through the roof, which can't be good for the baby.

"He's quite easy to intimidate. He caved and left me up here in less than a minute," he smirks proudly.

"So what are you doing here, exactly?" she demands. "And how did you know I was home?"

"I had to come see for myself if that picture you sent me could be true, and it looks like it is. I dropped by your office first, and they said you were on leave," he answers arrogantly. "I guess you've softened up and forgotten everything I've ever taught you. You shouldn't be here at home, you should be out working. You're tough. You're a Scherbatsky."

"Dad, I am tough," she replies as best as she can without showing the hurt on her face. She is strong, she thinks. Strong because she can give up her whole life to sit in bed all day for her child, but that's not anything that he would ever understand. "It's the baby that's not. I am under strict medical orders not to get out of bed, which as you can see," she starts to raise her voice, feeling the anger boiling up inside her, "I did anyway because you overpowered our doorman. Now I am going to go put myself back in bed and not get up again."

She storms back to the bedroom, and climbs into the bed. She manages to send a quick text to Barney before her father follows her into the bedroom, because she doesn't think that she can take any more of this alone.

 

* * *

 

SOS

'Something's wrong with the baby,' is Barney's reaction when he checks the text on his phone. He thinks that this can't be happening, and he runs out of his office in a panic. Fortunately, there is a cab right outside of GNB, and he is able to skip the run home and avoid those evil busses. But the whole time, all he can think of is that the baby might be gone.

 

* * *

 

"What have I told you about leaving guns around the house?" Robin Sr. starts to criticize as soon as he enters the bedroom. "It's like I taught you nothing. Nothing!"

"I just got that out," she says with contempt dripping from her voice. "I wasn't sure you weren't an intruder."

"Why would I be an intruder?" He's irritated. She can see it. She can hear it in his voice.

"You spent over five minutes banging on my front door," she says sternly.

"Because I knew you were in here."

"Doesn't make it any less insane, Dad."

"Maybe I should take my gift back home."

Now she's mad. This needs to end here. "Dad. Stop."

Her father looks at her and ponders the anger on her face for a few moments. "No, you're right, it's for my grandson. And here I was thinking that I was never going to get a grandson." She rolls her eyes. Things never change.

"We don't know what it is yet dad," she says, a hand pressed to her forehead, trying to stay calm, "and we won't for a while."

"That doesn't matter. I can feel it's a boy," he announces with such confidence that Robin starts to sink. The memories of her childhood start flooding back, and she is not sure how to handle it.

She chooses to ignore him, because really, she has no idea what it is. She some days she thinks it's a boy, other days she thinks it's a girl. She could see it going either way. One time it's a little blonde boy in adorable tiny suits that make the little sock that she once drooled over seem like nothing. Other times it's a little, curly, brown haired girl, running around in dresses and painting her nails, because she is a girl and that is what girls are supposed to do.

She had been looking forward to finding out the sex of the baby, but now that he's here, and said what he said about a grandson, she isn't so sure. What if it's a girl, and her daughter has to go through the same crap that she did? Yes, she and Barney would love her to death, but it still wouldn't be the same, because for some strange reason, she wants her dad involved in her child's life.

"Please don't get disappointed if it isn't a boy, though," she pleads, knowing there probably is nothing she can do to change her father's mind, but she still hopes. "There is just as good of a chance that it's a girl."

"Ok, RJ," he replies not really listening to what she is saying.

"Please don't call me that. We've been over this."

"Sorry, Robin," he retorts sarcastically. "How long until that grandson of mine makes his appearance?"

"Dad!" It slips out of her mouth before she can stop it. She knows there is no sense in arguing.

"What?"

"Never mind. About 5 months."

Thankfully, the awkwardness of the conversation ends suddenly with the sound of Barney running in the front door.

"Robin? Robin? Is everything ok? What's wrong?" he shouts as he approaches. He turns the corner of the room and sees Robin Sr. and stops dead in his tracks. "Oh, hello Mr. Scherbatsky," he greets him calmly, turning on his usual charm.

Robin eyes him from the bed, and they have a telepathic conversation.

"What's going on here?" he asks with his eyes.

"He just showed up. I couldn't just kick him out."

"So nothing's wrong with the baby?"

"Nope, except maybe genitalia."

"Of course." He rolls his eyes. He should have been expecting that one.

"Yep. Set on a grandson."

"And you tried explaining that it could be either?"

"No." She hopes he can sense the sarcasm, and rolls her eyes back at him. "Of course I did. It didn't work. I really need you to get him out of here. I'm stressing out."

"I'll try, but you know how stubborn he is."

"What are you doing here?" Barney asks calmly, because someone in this conversation needs to be the calm one.

"Well, son, I was just here to congratulate you and your wife on the son," Robin Sr. says nonchalantly.

"Not necessarily a boy," Barney mumbles.

"But I brought something for the baby to offer my congratulations," Robin Sr. says as he hands Robin the gift.

She opens it, and tries not to cry as she pulls out the small, brown, stuffed beaver. Despite her father's annoying presence, the gift is one of the most thoughtful things that he ever has done for her.

"Thank you Dad," she says sweetly. Barney can see her caving, and while he agrees that it was a nice gesture, he is still not sure how much longer he wants him to be there, especially with how he treated her today. Robin is under enough stress as it is.

"Now, I must go. Keep me informed on how he is doing," Robin Sr. declares.

"Ok dad. I will," she says sweetly, still overwhelmed by the gift.

"I'll walk you out," Barney says, wanting him to leave as fast as possible. Even though he can have a conversation and play laser tag with the man, he still doesn't like the way he treats Robin, even though he has apparently come a long way.

When Robin hears the door close, with her father on the other side, she yells out, "Barney? Can you get the gun from the sword table?" Gun from the sword table? What was she doing with a gun out?

"Uhhh, yeah," he yells back, with an air of confusion to his tone.

He finds it quickly, checks that the safety is on, and carefully carries it back to the bedroom.

"What exactly were you doing with a gun?" he questions.

"He was banging on the door for like five minutes straight. I wanted to make sure it wasn't some intruder," Robin says indifferently, shrugging her shoulders.

"How long were you up?" He is still incredibly worried that her father's impromptu visit put the baby in danger.

"Less than 5 minutes. Don't worry. We're ok," she declares, wanting to put the rest of the afternoon behind her.

"You sure?" he asks, the fear still behind his eyes. "That text terrified me."

"Sorry. I didn't mean for that to scare you," she says somberly. "I just wanted you to come home and get him out of here."

"I know. It's ok. Don't worry about it. I'm just glad you're ok," he replies, sitting down on the bed next to her and giving her a hug. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, not really," she responds meekly. He is silent as he waits for her to continue, knowing she wants to vent about it. "I just don't get it," she starts. "Why can't he just accept the fact that things don't always turn out the way he wants them to. I didn't care up until today whether or not this baby is a boy or a girl. And now I find myself wanting a boy, just because it would be easier. I swore I wasn't going to care about this. I don't want to care about this. I'm happy there is a baby at all. But now he is making me want things, just like he did, and I don't want to, Barney, I don't want to at all." He watches her with rapture. He wasn't expecting her to spill quite that much. It makes sense with her childhood, that it would bother her to want a boy or a girl over the other.

"There isn't a part of you that wants one or the other?" he asks cautiously, knowing it is a sore subject.

"No," she states resolutely.

"You mean you've never pictured a boy or a girl?"

"There was one time I pictured both. A girl with long brown hair and a boy in a suit," she replies meekly, thinking of the time on the park bench. She wonders if this child will grow up to look like either of those children she imagined.

The thought warmed his heart. Their children.

"But I've never picked one over the other," she continues. "There is no way I could ever do that."

"I always thought it would be a girl," Barney declares, interrupting her long train of thought.

"A girl?" She is surprised. She always thought he would want a boy. "Why a girl?"

"Because I didn't realize how much I needed you until you were a part of my life. And same thing with the baby. I just figured it would be another girl that would steal my heart."

"Barney," she utters, so completely touched by his thought.

"But I would love a boy just as much. It doesn't matter to me either. If it's a boy, I can always dress him up in suits, but you showed me that I can just as easily teach a girl to play laser tag and appreciate Star Wars," she looks up at him worried for a quick second before he adds, "but as a girl of course."

"That is so sweet of you to say," she says while leaning in to give him a hug. "How do you always know exactly how to cheer me up?"

"It's my new thing. And honestly Robin, if he doesn't want to accept his granddaughter just because she is a girl, then it's his loss, because she will have plenty of family that loves her. And she will always know deep down that her grandfather loves her, because he gave her the first stuffed animal, the one she is going to refuse to sleep without." The sweetness in his words, as well as the words, make her start to cry.

"These damn hormones," she mumbles trying to cover it up the tears.

"You don't have to be embarrassed about crying in front of me. I know you need to get rid of all that extra awesome somehow. I mean you have already almost lethal doses of awesome in you just on your own, and then to add our awesome squared, it's a wonder you haven't spontaneously combusted," he says in the way he used to spout all of his dating theories, and she can't help but giggle.

"Awesome squared," she laughs. "I like that."

"Yes!" he exclaims. "We should get a sign for the nursery! Awesome times awesome equals baby!"

"Awesome baby," she mumbles to herself with a huge smile on her face, while rubbing the growing bump. Barney barely hears her, but he wants her to know he agrees.

"Yeah. Awesome baby."

 

* * *

 

_9/4/14_

_I've spent most of my life trying to gain my father's approval, and trying to live up to the ridiculous expectations that he expected of me. I know that he is at least part of my original decision to not become a mother. I had always thought that I was too damaged from my horrible childhood. Now, however, I realize that my experience as a child will help me be a better mother. I've learned what not to do._

_So needless to say, to have my father show up on my doorstep this week was a shock. His excitement over his grandson was not. He always wanted a son, which is something neither my sister nor I are. Because I wasn't a boy, it was always ridiculously difficult to live up to his expectations. Of course, now he thinks that my place on earth is to give him his grandson. I'm not sure what he will do if the baby is a girl._

_I've thought about it, and I really don't care what the baby is. I know it's a cliché, and most women say that, but I really do not. I could be happy either way, and I don't want to put the same constraints on my relationship with my child as my father did with me. In a way, it would be easier for me if it is a boy, but I know there is nothing I can do to change it. Plus, I think having a girl might be fun._

_No matter what happens, I hope that my father can stay just as serious in his role of a grandparent, because as much as he may have made my life difficult, I just can't imagine depriving my child of family. The great thing is that I will be there to love and guide him or her, so his negativity can be outweighed by the love of my husband and I. I just hope that in his heart, he can accept this baby for what it is, his grandchild, who will love him no matter what._

 

 


	26. Kicks and Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning that this chapter gets a little smutty. There is nothing really graphic, just some suggestions of graphic things.

Robin had been waiting for this for a while now. Just waiting for the crazy sex dreams to show up. She remembers the first time Lily got them, and at the time, Robin was actually looking forward to that part of her pregnancy. Of course, that happened in the short week and a half that she thought she was pregnant the first time, but somehow, those crazy dreams made the whole thing not look so bad.

But now, now she doesn't want them. It's bad enough that she hasn't had sex in six weeks, but she can't even do anything about the way that these dreams leave her feeling in the morning. The sad part is, six weeks isn't really that long of a time. She's gone without for much longer, but now it's torture.

It's really a shame too, because she remembers how excited Barney was about Lily's dreams, and she knows if they could, they would be acting out every single one of her dreams. The thought leaves her even more depressed. She's almost tempted to write every single one of them down, so that when they can finally have sex again, they can play them out, because good lord, once it happens, there will be no stopping them. Well, except for the fact that there will be a baby there. And then it occurs to her that Marshall and Lily didn't have sex for almost 6 months after Marvin was born. She and Barney couldn't possibly turn into that, could they? She doesn't want them to, but what if that is what having a baby means? What if it means that you have to stop being a couple? She had just gotten used to the idea of being a couple.

The thing is, she misses him. Sure, she gets to see him every day, and she gets to curl up in his arms every night, but she misses the sex connection. Yes, there are nights that end with a porno and her hand or mouth wrapped around him, but it's getting incredibly boring. She misses being part of the action too. She misses the creativity that makes them, them.

The last dream though, left some ideas in her head that she just can't get out. While the dream ended with her climbing on top of Barney and riding him like a cowgirl stuck on a mechanical bull for hours, the foreplay had some very real possibilities that could be turned into a real life scenario. It wouldn't be their typical sex, but it wouldn't break the rules, and would give her the closeness with Barney that the both of them have been craving.

So she spends the day planning how it will all go down. She sneaks some slutty lingerie out of her drawer on a trip to the bathroom. On the next trip, it is some ties out of Barney's drawer. When it is almost time for him to come home, she shimmies out of her clothes into the see through nightgown she has chosen, puts her clothes back on over top and waits for him to come home from work.

* * *

 "So Barney?" Robin says seductively.

"Yeah?" he questions. He is intrigued by the tone of her voice. He hasn't heard that voice in weeks.

"Do you have anything you have to do tonight?" she coos.

"No. Why?"

"No reason really." She pauses. "Just thought I could tell you about my dream from last night," she tempts.

"Oh was it bad?" he asks concerned, trying to play along. He has no idea what she could be up to, but whatever it is, he is looking forward to it.

"Oh, it was really bad," she says flirtatiously. "So bad it was good. I thought you might enjoy it."

"Ok?" He half asks, half replies, still pretending not to know what is going on. But he knows. The dreams have started. Part of him is disappointed, because he so wants to play the dreams out on her, but at the same time, she still seems to want to play at least parts of them out. Teasing her that he doesn't get what she is saying is part of the fun. It makes her so god damn irresistible.

"Can you get me some stuff?" she entices.

"Sure? I don't see what this has to do with your dream though."

"You'll see," she replies with a wink.

"What do you want?" he says coolly, as if he isn't onto her game.

"A rubber spatula and the container of whipped cream in the fridge."

"What was this dream about again?" he teases.

"You'll just have to wait and see. But trust me, you'll like it," she coos.

"Oh really?" he says with a chortle. He's missed these games. Has it really only been six weeks?

"Yes, really."

"What did you have planned?" He teases.

"You'll see mister," she taunts.

"Is this a sex dream?" he asks, a huge grin spreading across his face.

"Maybe?" she replies meekly.

"You little minx. I thought you can't do anything. This is just for me?" he teases.

"It's just for you," she says seductively. "Do you want it or not?"

"Hell yes! I'll be back in a minute." She laughs as she watches him run out of the room. She was hoping that he would be this excited.

He returns in less than a minute, both objects in hand, and he hands them to her. He is amazed when he returns to find her sitting in a sheer, black nightgown. He is halfway to gone just looking at her. It has been a while since he was able to look at her body like that.

"Strip," she demands, and he couldn't get undressed any faster. She eyes his naked body with lust. She thinks that maybe this wasn't the best of ideas, because now she is incredibly horny, but she reminds herself that this is for him, and for her to be closer to him.

"Lie down."

She grabs one of his legs and ties it to the bed using one of his ties. She repeats the process with the other leg and his arms, until he is lying in a spread eagle on the bed.

"God this is hot Scherbatsky," he mutters as she starts to run her hands across his naked chest. She lets her fingers wander, enjoying the feeling of his hard abs and pecs under her fingertips.

Suddenly, she pulls away, and sits back from where she was touching. She feels something. She doesn't know what it is, or whether it's good or bad, but it's something.

"What's wrong?" Barney asks immediately, with an air of concern. He turns to look at her as best he can.

"Nothing," she responds as it stops, trying to brush it off. "Nothing's wrong."

She leans back towards him and starts running her hands over him again. She feels it again and sits back.

"Robin?" he asks, panicked. There is something not right, and he knows it. The panic grows when she unties his hands from the bed. "What's wrong? Is it the baby?"

"Shhh..." she shushes him. She curls her bottom lip between her teeth, and stares straight ahead.

"What? Robin?" he whispers in concern.

She grabs his left hand and places it on the bump.

"What? What's wrong?"

"Can you feel it?" she asks, the corners of her mouth slowly starting to turn upwards.

"Feel what Robin?" he questions with a sense of urgency. "Do you mean the…?" his thought is interrupted and he looks at her stomach. "Did it just...?"

"Yeah." She can't contain the grin. She wasn't sure what it was at first, but stopping now, and having Barney feel it too, she knows. She felt the baby kick.

"Is this the first?" he asks, his grin starting to match hers.

"No, but I wasn't sure it was kicks before. It started a couple of days ago. I didn't think you would actually be able to feel it."

"It feels so real now. I know there has been a baby in here, but it's like it's really in there now. Because it's moving, it's real. Oh God, there is so much left to do!" Barney starts to ramble in a panic. "It's going to be here so soon! We don't even have a place for it to sleep."

"Barney, it's ok. We've known for six weeks now, and we have more than 20 to go," she says with a soothing giggle. "I think we will be fine."

"You sure?"

"Yes." she giggles. "Even if it's born really early, it will still be at least 8 weeks."

"Oh."

"You feel better now?"

"Yeah. You just had me worried there for a minute. Is it still kicking?"

"A little bit. I'm not sure if you'll be able to feel it or not." He puts his hand back on her stomach.

"Woah!" he exclaims.

She giggles. "That was a big one." He looks at her, and he is gone as usual.

"I love you so damn much," he utters.

"I love you too," she pulls him close to kiss him. "So, you ready?"

"For?"

"Well, I still owe you a dream," she winks.

"I thought you would never suggest it."

* * *

  _9/11/14_

_It's a somber day to be a New Yorker. I did not live here in 2001, but my husband did. We don't talk about his experience, but I know that he lost quite a few friends and colleagues that day. I don't know what he experienced that day, or how close he was to possibly not making it since he works in the financial industry, but I am thankful he is still alive, and I pass on all of my sorrows to those who did lose their family members that day._

_On that note, I will move on to the bright spot that is today. Last night, we felt the baby kick for the first time. It was an amazing moment. I had been feeling something for a few days, but it wasn't until last night, when my husband and I were relaxing together that it got strong enough for me to realize it. I wasn't sure at first that my husband was going to be able to feel it, but he could. I guess the baby is pretty strong, since from what I read, 17 weeks is a bit early to feel kicking, especially from the outside. I'm still getting used to it moving around inside._

_But, he or she can hear us now, and is finally starting to look like a real person, while still tiny, apparently the size of an onion. It's almost doubled in the past 3 weeks! And while it is still bizarre to feel something moving inside of me, it makes everything I've been going through like being in bed all day worth it, because I know in the end that there will be a baby._

 

 


	27. A Bit of a Problem

"Robin, we have a bit of a problem," is the first thing she hears when she picks up her phone on Friday afternoon.

"What's that?" she asks Barney. She doesn't think she is going to like what he is about to say, since he seems upset.

"I'm at the airport," Barney murmurs.

"What?" she questions angrily. "What do you mean you're at the airport?"

She is confused. He told his boss that he couldn't go on any business trips right now, and she thought that his boss understood that.

"I'm sorry," he rambles hurriedly. "It was a last minute thing. Blauman was supposed to go, and he had to cancel because of a family emergency, and I am the only other one that can handle the negotiations. I don't want to go, but I have to. I know I wasn't supposed to go on any trips, but I have to go."

So it's not his fault. She's not happy about it, but it makes sense.

"When do you leave?" she whispers, still adjusting to the idea of him being gone.

"My plane leaves in a half hour."

She sighs.

"How am I supposed to-"

"I don't know. I'm really, really sorry." He sounds apologetic, something she rarely hears from him. "You aren't mad are you?" he asks meekly.

She wants to say no, because she doesn't want to stir up trouble, and she understands, but she is a little angry.

"A little. You could have at least come home first," she says with a sorrowful tone.

"I tried, believe me," he explains. "By the time I found out about it, it was already two hours until takeoff, and I had to come straight here in order to not miss the flight."

"I'm not really mad," she sighs. "I'm just going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you too. You'll be fine. Just call Lily and Tracy. I am sure they can help out till I get back."

"How long are you going to be gone?"

"I don't know," he sighs. "I have to stay until the negotiations are over. It could be a day, it could be two weeks. I can't really say. I've got to go though, they are calling my group to board."

"I love you," she says quickly.

"I love you too. I'll call you as soon as I get there. I promise."

"You better. Bye."

"Bye."

* * *

_I need to see you all after work. Does 6 work?_

_Yep I'll be there. - Ted_

_Sure, should I bring something for dinner?- Tracy_

_I might be a little late. I have to pick up Marv.- Lily_

_No problem!- Marshall_

* * *

 "Robin? I've got the Chinese." Tracy calls as she opens up the door to the apartment.

"Great!" Robin shouts from the bedroom. "Hang on, I'm going to come out."

She walks to the living room and plops down on the couch as Tracy goes around the kitchen collecting dishes and drinks for the rest of the gang.

"Did you get dumplings?" Robin asks.

"Yep. You still have pickles in the fridge?" Tracy responds.

"Yep," Robin answers. Tracy walks over and puts everything on the coffee table.

"So why are we here?" Tracy questions while sitting down next to Robin on the couch and handing her the dumplings.

"Barney is on a plane to who knows where," Robin moans and then takes a bite of dumpling.

"I thought he wasn't going to get sent anywhere," Tracy states while opening her container of lo mein.

"It was a last minute thing that only he could do. The only other person that could go is away on a family emergency, apparently," Robin sighs.

"Oh. That sucks. What are you going to do?" Tracy questions.

"I don't know. That is why I asked you guys you come here. I'm hoping you can help," Robin pleads.

"Of course! What do you need?" Tracy asks sweetly.

"I don't know for sure. I was hoping we could figure it out together."

"Yeah sure!" Tracy says excitedly. "I could come over in the morning if you want. I can start late next week."

"That would be great. You sure it's not a problem?"

"Not a problem at all, and I am sure everyone else can take some time too," Tracy encourages.

"Time for what?" Ted says as he enters the apartment, with Marshall following closely behind.

"Time to help Robin," Tracy explains.

"What do you need help with? Where's Barney?" Marshall questions.

"A business trip," Robin states.

"Oh," Ted and Marshall mutter at the same time.

"Well, I have a busy week, but the courthouse is not far from here, so I could bring you lunch," Marshall proposes.

"That sounds great Marshall," Robin responds.

"Yeah, and I can stop by after work and make sure you have dinner," Ted offers.

"Thanks Ted." Robin starts to get emotional. She really does have amazing friends.

"Sorry I'm late, what did I miss?" Lily says, as she runs in the door holding Marvin and about 3 other bags.

"Barney is on a business trip," Marshall fills her in.

"To where?" Lily asks while handing Marvin to Marshall and switching the bags in her hands for a food container.

"No idea. I barely got to talk to him before he left."

"Oh. I'm sorry, but we will help in any way we can. Let's make a schedule," Lily says, taking over the lead, and Robin couldn't be happier. This is just what she needed today.

* * *

 

It's been five days now. She's been alone for five days. She's lonely. The problem is she doesn't think she can do this anymore. Barney being gone doesn't bother her as much as not living her life. She was used to Barney being on business trips, but when he was, she usually threw herself into her work or spent all of her time with Lily. But now she couldn't do any of those things.

It's not that she isn't appreciative of her friends help. She is grateful. She has no idea how this week would have turned out without them, but for crying out loud are they getting on her nerves. She was used to her routine, and now it is completely different. It is throwing her off and making her cranky, but she doesn't want to tell them, because she is entirely dependent on them. She needs them to bring her food. She needs them to keep her company. Every little thing they do annoys her, though, and worse, it is things that shouldn't annoy her. They have been checking up on her more than they need to. Someone is constantly in her apartment. She isn't used to having people around this much. But more than anything, she wants Barney back.

She didn't realize how much she had grown to depend on him before, and how wonderful he made her feel about having to stay in bed all day. It's not like she isn't getting support from the rest of the gang, they just don't make her feel as special about it like he does. The worst part is that he barely has time to call her.

She still has no idea where he is. She knows it is somewhere in Asia, based on the time difference and the international number that shows up on her phone, but she doesn't know the exact country. Normally, it doesn't bother her not to know, but it does this time. She doesn't know if it is the hormones or the weird maternal instinct kicking, but this time it worries her that he might be in North Korea. Maybe it is because there is more on the line this time. It's about more than just her or Barney, it's about the baby too. What if he doesn't come back this time?

There is always a chance that he might not come back from one of these trips. He may deny it, but she knows it. She knows how dangerous his job is, and has always been. It's part of the reason that she doesn't know his full job title. She asked him about it last year. He responded with his usual brush off of 'please', but she didn't let it slide. She felt that as his wife, she should know what he does.

While she was expecting him not to tell her anything, she wasn't expecting the seriousness and honesty that came out of him. Until that point, she always thought it was a big joke, or that he thought his job wasn't cool enough. She knew it wasn't a joke, but he always referred to it that way in front of them. She was startled this time because he looked straight at her and was honest. It wasn't that he was always blowing it off, or that he didn't want to tell her. He couldn't tell her. He was sworn to secrecy by the company, and it wasn't that he didn't trust her, because he did, but if anything ever went wrong, it was better for her to know absolutely nothing. He went on to say that some of the things he did weren't necessarily kosher in the eyes of the US government, and if anything ever went wrong, or he was found out, he didn't want her wrapped up in anything.

She understood that. She really did, although it did make her reporter side come flying out. All of a sudden it made her want to know more. She started snooping at documents that were lying around the house. The things she read didn't make her sleep any more soundly. After a few files, she decided maybe he was right. She didn't want to know anymore. The things she read didn't necessarily bother her, but they didn't sit well with her either.

Of course, this business trip that he suddenly had to go on is making her feel awful. Now there is another person to think about. What if something goes wrong in the negotiations? He is probably dealing with communist leaders that could care less if he has a wife and unborn child at home. He is good at his job, but there is always that what if. She isn't sure that she can do this mother thing at all, but she is positive that she won't be able to do it without him by her side. What if she does all of this, gives up her whole life, and then can't be a mother. She can't deal with this by herself.

She shouldn't feel this way right now. She shouldn't feel like she doesn't want to do this anymore. She doesn't want to be pregnant anymore. She doesn't want to be stuck in bed anymore. Would a good mother really feel this way? Would they feel like they didn't want their baby? Sometimes she feels like she is only excited about this because Barney is. Maybe she was 'infertile' for a reason. She isn't meant to be a mother. She is meant to be an independent woman who loves her career, not a pregnant woman spending all day in bed growing a baby.

It doesn't help that Tracy looks like a fricken goddess. She's got this tiny little bump and is still going about her normal life, playing the guitar in the band, going out on dates with Ted. Of course, this is probably a cosmic punishment, because she said all of those years that she didn't want a baby. Tracy wants babies, so of course it is going to be easy for her. Tracy gets to have it all, where she only gets to have one thing. She gets a baby, or a career, not both. It's just not fair. She should be able to be one of those pregnant women walking around in the adorable maternity clothes that show off the bump, going to work, spending time with her friends, but no. She is stuck here in this prison, without her partner in crime.

She throws herself against the pillow and sobs. She can't do it anymore.

"Robin?" Marshall questions carefully. He's been watching her cry heavily into her pillow for a minute now. He isn't sure he wants to interrupt, but he can't stand to see her cry like this, especially since she is normally so strong.

"What are you doing here?" she snaps, partially angry that he interrupted her and partially embarrassed that he caught her crying.

"It's lunch time. I brought you a sandwich." He treads carefully, knowing it is probably a dose of hormones talking.

"I don't want it. Go away!" she screams, her shouts muffled by the pillow.

Marshall puts the lunch down on Barney's bedside table, kicks his shoes off and climbs into bed with her.

"What's wrong?" he asks gently.

"Nothing," she snaps.

"Robin," he sighs, while grabbing her and pulling her into a bear hug. His strong arms around her help her calm down somewhat, but she is still upset.

"Robin? What's wrong? Can we talk about it?"

"I... I… I… don't know," she sobs.

"What were you thinking when you started crying?" he questions.

"I… uh… I guess about how much I miss Barney." He can tell that she is lying. She was never the best of liars, but he knows there is more to it than that. She has been telling him how much she has missed Barney all week.

"He'll be back soon," he tries to console her.

"If he comes back," she says sarcastically.

"Robin," he castigates. "What makes you think that? Of course he wants to come back."

"I'm not worried about him wanting to. I'm worried about him not being able to," she sniffles.

"He is going to come back."

"How do you know that Marshall?" she shouts. "How do you know he isn't going to get kidnapped or killed? You of all people should know how dangerous his job is."

"Nothing is going to happen," he says softly.

"You can't say that Marshall, because you don't know!" she continues to shout. "But I know I can't do this anymore. I can't be a single mother. I can't be a mother! Who am I trying to kid with this? I'm not meant to take care of a baby."

"Robin," he whispers as he hugs her tighter. "You are going to be a wonderful mother."

"No, I'm not," she sobs.

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not. I can't do this."

"Do you remember the first time you held Marvin?" She nods. "You couldn't put him down. You basically took care of him that night, and you did it all by yourself. You can do this. I know it is hard staying in bed. I can't even imagine having to do that, but I think what you are doing is amazing."

"No, it's not," she whispers through the tears.

"Yes it is. In fact, you are already an amazing mother."

"What do you mean?" she asks, curious as to what he might mean.

"You are already doing everything you can for this baby."

"But I don't want to be doing it anymore."

"Robin, you are just having a pre-parental freak out. Everyone has them. No one ever thinks that they are ready to be a parent, or that they are going to be a great parent. But as long as you keep doing what you are doing, you are already the best parent."

Huh. It made sense. She never looked at it that way before. She is doing everything she can for this baby already.

"So I'm already great mom?"

"The best, Robin, the best."

"Thanks Marshall."

"You're welcome. Are you hungry for your sandwich now?"

She laughs. "Starving."

"That's the Robin I know!"

"Thanks."

* * *

_9/18/14_

_This week has been quite different. For the first time since I've been on bed rest, my husband had to go on a business trip. He had asked his boss not to get sent anywhere during my pregnancy, but it was a last minute trip that he was specifically needed for. It's been quite hard on me, having him gone, especially him being in a different time zone. For the first time, I haven't been excited about being pregnant. I am lucky enough to have friends around that are able to help me, but it's not the same as having the emotional support of my husband. I never thought I would be the kind of person to miss him so much when he is gone, but for some reason I do. But between the overseas phone calls and having other people with me, it has been hard to stick to a schedule this week._

_My husband is still not back yet from whatever foreign country he is in. I am hoping for him to be back soon, because I really miss him, and I am ready for things to get back to normal, or as normal as normal can be. He thinks that tomorrow might finally be the day, and I can't wait. I do wonder how much the baby has grown this week and how much I have grown this week. I wonder if he will be able to tell the difference. I do hope he is home soon, because in the next week or two we should be able to find out the sex of the baby. I would hate for him to miss that, since we are both looking forward to finding out. Don't worry, I will be sharing the news as soon as I find out!_

 

 


	28. Home

He feels like an idiot on his flight home. A week later and the feeling still isn't going away. He feels horrible about leaving her home alone. Every time he talked to her she sounded miserable. At least he was finally on his way home, and he would be able to see her soon. It was a long week of stressful and tense negotiations for him. Not to mention that he was distracted the whole week by missing her.

It doesn't help his nerves that he lied to her about coming home, though. He wanted to surprise her, so he said maybe he would be done Friday, but in reality he was on his way to the airport. He is ready to be home, but most of all, he doesn't want to miss the doctor appointment. Today they could find out the sex of the baby. He didn't realize how excited he was to find out, until he thought he might miss it. He just hopes that she isn't too mad at him, and that he can make up the last week to her in some way.

He thinks the adorable stuffed animal he found in the Seoul airport will be helpful, but he knows it won't be enough. Still, he wants to do more for her. It's been awhile since they have done anything special, and after the week she's had, she deserves something special. He needs to make it up to her. It's going to take some planning, but he thinks he can make it work. It's going to come with a price too, but she deserves it.

At least he is finally getting to come home today. He can't believe how much he has missed her in these past few days. Yes, he always missed her when he was on a business trip, but this time seemed like he missed her even more than usual. Maybe it was because he was worried about her the whole time. Maybe it is because this time there is a baby. Maybe the baby makes him want to be around her even more.

He really hopes that the rest of the gang has taken good care of her this week. It seemed like each time they talked, there was more wrong than she was letting on, but between her bedtime, and his meetings, there wasn't all that much time to talk.

He feels right now like he could lock himself in with her for the next few days and never come out, that is how much he misses her. He doesn't care if that means sitting around in bed with her, giving her a massage or two. He wants to do it for her because he missed her.

It almost scares him how Ted-like he has become recently. They seem to be always waxing some poetic sentiment to each other lately. At least Robin seems to have an excuse, he thinks. She has hormones running through her, making her completely unlike herself. Maybe, just maybe, she is rubbing off on him.

The good news is now that he is on the plane, he should get home just in time for the doctor appointment.

* * *

 When he gets home at 1pm New York time – it's 2 am in Pyongyang- , he walks back to the bedroom to surprise her. He slowly opens the door, ready to surprise her, but he finds her curled in a ball, with his pillow between her legs, sound asleep. He doesn't want to disturb her, but now that she is here in front of him, he wants to do nothing more than take her in his arms and fall asleep next to her. Why not? It's been a long day for him already, and there is still a bit of time until her doctor appointment. He has time for a quick nap.

He quietly sets his phone alarm for an hour, kicks of his shoes and strips off his suit. He slowly lifts the covers and slides into the bed. He pulls himself close to her, and puts his arm around her. He breathes in the scent of her shampoo as he settles in and falls asleep. God he's missed her. He hasn't slept well this week, and now, he falls asleep just minutes after pulling her close.

* * *

 She fell asleep because she was upset. Of course this was the doctor appointment that Barney was going to miss. The most important doctor appointment of her pregnancy. She doesn't want to find out without him, and it makes her incredibly sad. They have been looking forward to this so much. As she wakes up, she realizes how well she just slept, because she couldn't have been asleep for more than a half hour. She is comfortable and cozy, and feels like she finally slept. She hasn't slept much at all since he's been gone, but now his arm draped around her makes her feel so comfortable. It takes her a few minutes of blissful unawareness to realize that he isn't supposed to be there. She jumps up, immediately excited, startling him awake in the process.

"Barney!"

"Hey," he says sleepily.

"You're here? When… when did you?" she asks with the biggest smile plastered across her face.

"About a half hour ago. I wanted to surprise you," he whispers sweetly. She seems so overjoyed, and it makes him feel comfortable and happy for the first time since he left last week.

"I can't believe you're really here," she babbles, barely able to contain her emotions.

"I am. I wanted to be home for today. I missed you so much," he says while pulling her into a hug.

"I missed you too," she mumbles into his shoulder.

"I can't believe how much you've grown in a week," he tells her as he pulls away. He hadn't noticed right away, but her bump had definitely expanded in the past week. He hadn't noticed the bump growing before, but being away from her for that long really showed him just how much changes in a week.

"I feel like I haven't grown at all," she says dejectedly. "I feel like this week was a waste."

"I couldn't have been that bad. I mean, look at what you did this week," he says while putting his hand on the bump. "It is absolutely amazing that you can do this. You spent the week growing our baby. All of the weeks in my life have nothing on your week."

"Thanks, but it was still horrible," she grumbles, remembering all of the annoyances she had with the four members of the gang this week.

"What happened?" he asks. Yes, he was gone, but he still doesn't understand how it could have been that bad.

"They were driving me nuts. It just isn't the same not having you here. They just didn't get that I am still a person, not a child. It was like being under suicide watch," she complains.

"I'm so sorry. I want to make it up to you starting with- " he finishes with a dramatic pause while he starts digging through his bag.

"Barney, you don't have to do that," she bemoans.

"Wait-for-it," she rolls her eyes. "This," he says as he pulls out the large-eyed green stuffed creature.

"Barney," she sighs, smiling at him and the new stuffed animal he bought for the baby.

"I saw it in the airport, and I couldn't resist. It's a popular children's character in Korea."

"Thank you," she says with tears welling up in her eyes. "You didn't have to."

"Yes, I did. I feel terrible about leaving, and like I said, this is just the start. I have more planned," he teases.

"More?" she questions curiously.

"Yep, but first, I think we have a doctor appointment to get to."

"Yeah, I think we do."

* * *

 "Hello Mr. and Mrs. Stinson. Are we ready for the ultrasound?" the technician asks on her way into the room.

"I think so," Robin answers, already dressed in the gown and sitting on the table.

"Alright then, let's get started."

Robin braces herself for the cool gel yet again. It doesn't matter how many times she has an ultrasound, she is still never quite ready for it.

As the doctor starts the exam, Barney can't help but be amazed by the screen. They made that thing on the screen, that tiny baby inside of Robin. Sometimes, it is still hard for him to believe that he is going to be a dad. Kids weren't part of the plan. They were never part of her plan, his plan, or their plan together, but somehow, it seems right. Every time he sees that screen, he just feels like it was always supposed to be, because with their DNA, that baby is going to be amazing.

The technician takes her time looking over the baby, stopping to push buttons on the machine every so often.

"Everything looks great, and everything seems to be developing properly. Are you planning on finding out the sex of the baby?" the technician asks.

"Uhh…" Barney stutters. He thought so, but it has been such a long time since they talked about it.

"Well, we haven't gotten to talk about it for sure," Robin answers.

"Are you possibly interested?"

"I think so," Barney says.

"Okay, then. I can write it down on a card for you, you can take it home and open it when you are ready," the technician states.

"That sounds great," Robin responds. She does want to know, but even if they were sure, Barney is still exhausted, and that alone would ruin the moment.

Barney nods his head in agreement. He wants to know too, but even if they had talked about it, he was still so jet lagged that the moment just wouldn't be the same.

* * *

 "Well, well, well. Look who finally decided to show up," a disgruntled Lily growls from the couch.

"Oh shit. I guess I should have called," Robin defends.

"Ya think?" Lily asks sarcastically.

"Yeah," Robin mumbles.

"Good to see you too, Lily," Barney chides as he pushes his way into the apartment. "What's up?"

"What's in your hand?" Lily questions.

"Something from the doctor?" Robin answers questioningly, wondering if she should be telling Lily anything in this mood.

"Like the sex of the baby?" Lily probes.

"Yes," Barney answers.

"Gimme!" Lily exclaims as she grabs the envelope out of Robin's hand.

"Hey!" Robin shouts.

Lily rips open the envelope. "Ooooooo!" she squeals as she stuffs the envelope in her pocket.

"Hey! Not fair!" Robin whines. "What is it?"

"Well you didn't tell me that Barney was home, and I remember a certain two people doing the exact same thing to me and Marshall," Lily explains. "Payback is a bitch guys. See ya later!" She exclaims as she heads out of their apartment.

"Damnit Lily!" Robin screams.

"Well, I guess we aren't finding out tonight," Barney sighs.

"Yeah, I was hoping to open it during dinner," Robin answers disappointedly.

"And I had the perfect dinner planned too," Barney says dejectedly.

"I thought we would just hang out tonight an order something simple," Robin replies. "You've got to be tired. You've been up for like a day now."

"I can't go to bed until I make it up to you," Barney explains.

"Can you make it up to me tomorrow night?" Robin asks. "I would much rather have it be a quiet night. Besides, you need sleep. You look exhausted."

"But..." he whines. She gives him her best mother look. That one that says I know best, you need to listen, and I'm not going to put up with your shit. He falls for it every time, because she always knows what's best for him. It's a quality that is going to make her a great mom.

"Okay. Fine." He gives in. "I have to call Guy to move everything till tomorrow."

"Thanks," she gives him a small smile.

"Robin, are you ready?" Barney shouts to the bedroom as soon as the living room is ready. It had already been quite a day, but he is looking forward to this surprise the most.

* * *

After he had gotten Guy 'the guy' guy to change his plans, he went to bed almost immediately to sleep off the jet lag. Trips to the other side of the world were always exhausting, but even his awesomeness didn't make him immune to the jet lag. The doctor appointment made it even worse, because while he was excited, he wasn't able to sleep when he arrived home.

Today, though, was to be all about her, and so far, he had succeeded. He started off today by making Robin her favorite pancakes, complete with her favorite syrup. She loved them, and ate most of them. He wouldn't be surprised if she gained five pounds just from the pancakes alone. Not that he cared, though. She would still be as sexy as ever to him. Besides, the kid is destined to love pancakes. After all, he or she, damn it Lily, is bound to love pancakes. It is half Canadian. Okay. Maybe it would be five-eighths Canadian, as much as he hates to admit it, but in this case, that just further proves his point.

He then spent the rest of the morning hanging in bed with her, watching a few movies. She told him how happy she was just to have him by her side.

By the afternoon, he had to start getting things ready. He made sure that the people from the restaurant were able to set up. He rearranged some of the furniture to make room for the set up. He waited for delivery of the dress that he ordered for her. He kept an eye on her to make sure she didn't find out about the plans. So far, all had gone off without a hitch. All he is waiting for now is for her to be ready.

He turns the corner of the transformed living room into the hallway. He heads straight into the bedroom, and stops dead in his tracks when he sees her sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Wow," he mumbles. "You look amazing."

She is still a knock out as she smiles back at the compliment, even with her rounding out midsection. The royal blue dress fits her perfectly, the silk skirt flowing down perfectly down over the bump, the black waistband accentuating her breasts, and the lace neckline and sleeves showing the perfect mix of sexy cleavage and modesty. She's skipped the stilettos in favor of a pair of ballet flats, but it doesn't bother him. He can still see plenty of her sexy long legs, and it probably is the best idea to skip the heels with the bed rest and the baby.

"Are you ready for the surprise?" he asks her.

"Absolutely," she affirms. "Show me the way Stinson."

He takes her arm and leads her out to the living room.

"Hello Madame. Can I show you and the gentleman to your table?" the finely dress waiter asks.

"What is this?" she turns around to ask Barney.

"Well, I figured that we normally go out to dinner when I get home from a business trip, but that is off the table, so I decided I would have dinner come to you." He can see that she is stunned speechless.

"I don't even know what to say. Thank you Barney."

"I would do this everyday for you, because what you are doing for me is just astounding." He just can't help but love the way the words light up her face. "Now let's sit down so that we can eat, because it smells amazing."

"Yes. It really does."

* * *

_9/25/14_

_What a week it has been. First, my lovely husband was planning his surprise trip home when I last wrote. I woke up from a nap on Friday afternoon to find him lying next to me. I had no idea that he was even finished with his work, let alone already back home. Best of all, he made it just in time for one of the most important doctor appointments of my pregnancy._

_Because of my medical condition, I am getting more ultrasounds than a normal pregnancy, but this is the one that most women are excited for. This was the ultrasound where we find out the baby's sex. We had the technician write it down, because we still hadn't fully decided if we wanted to know yet. Plus, with his jet lag and my week without him, neither of us were in a state of mind to make a decision at that point._

_The problem is, we still haven't found out yet. When we got home, one of our friends was waiting, and she was mad because we hadn't told her that my husband was home. So she stole the envelope, and refused to tell us. It may have been payback for when we stole her card when we found out our nephew was a boy. Oooops! I don't want to call the doctor and just ask, but we really want to know. Hopefully, they will tell us soon._

_The best news is the baby is developing just fine! It is healthy, which at this point, is all I could ask for._

_On another note, my husband insisted he had to make it up to me for being gone so long. He ended up getting one of the chefs from one my favorite restaurants to make a meal for us at home. It was so sweet. I told him many times that he didn't need to make it up to me, but he insisted. I've missed just spending a meal together, where he didn't have to do all the work. Plus, he rented me an amazing dress to make it even more special of a night. It was the perfect end to a long week of being alone._

 

 


	29. It's a...?

"Barney? What's that noise?" Robin asks in the middle of their Saturday afternoon movie marathon.

"What? I thought that was just the movie."

"No, that was definitely not McElroy and LeFleur. I know McElroy and LeFleur," Robin declares.

"What did it sound like?" Barney questions.

"Like someone dropped something."

"Do you think there is something in the apartment?" he panics, unsure of what to do. She is the one with the gun fetish. She was the one that would always go check on noises. He didn't want to have to face someone here.

"I don't know. It's possible," she responds, seemingly unfazed by the situation.

"Maybe one of the gang stopped by. I'm going to go out and check."

Barney takes a deep breath at the door before opening it to face the unknown. He walks out of the bedroom, and almost gets to the corner in the living room when he hears a voice.

"Stop! Don't come any closer!" He is frightened for a moment, until it registers that the voice is Marshall's.

"What are you doing here?"

"Nothing," he says, in a way that makes Barney know he is covering something up. "Go back in the bedroom until the end of the movie."

"Why?" he grills Marshall.

"Because." Barney realizes that Marshall is just about as good at lying as Lily is.

"No. Not because Marshall. What is going on?" he demands.

"I can't tell you yet," Marshall blurts out. "Just finish the movie and then we'll be ready." We'll?

"We'll be ready for what?" Barney challenges.

"Just go back in the bedroom and finish the movie," Marshall demands. Barney figures it's not worth fighting over.

"Fine."

He walks back to the bedroom, a little bit annoyed that they can't even tell him what they are doing there.

"So who was it?" Robin asks casually as they enter.

"Marshall, but weird thing was, they wouldn't let me go in the living room," he states.

"Why not?"

"I don't know. He wouldn't say," she sighs, annoyed. "What he did say is that I should come back in here and finish the movie, and by that time, they will be ready."

"Huh? Ready for what?" Robin asks.

"I don't know. I thought the same thing," Barney admits.

"So they are planning something out there," Robin concludes.

"Apparently," Barney agrees. "What do you think it is?"

"I have no idea. Maybe Marshall is making Lily apologize for being a bitch last week and taking the card," Robin guesses.

"Maybe. I guess we are just going to have to wait and see."

* * *

 There is a knock on the bedroom door five minutes before the end of the movie.

"Damn it! This is the best part!" Robin exclaims.

"Just pause it. We can watch it later," he says to Robin. "Who is it?" he shouts to whoever is behind the door.

"Can you come out to the living room for a minute?" Marshall asks as he peeks his head in the door.

"Uhh sure. Can I come out in five minutes? The movie is almost over, and it's actually pretty good," he admits.

"See, you are truly Canadian after all," Robin chides.

"Shhhh…" Barney sounds in her direction while putting his index finger to his lips. The last thing he needs is the rest of the gang finding out he likes a Canadian movie.

"Uhhh, actually, we need both of you," Marshall responds.

"Both of us?" Robin questions.

"Yes, both of you, and we need you right now," Marshall demands.

"Does it have to be right now?" Barney whines.

"Yes. Lily has made all of the rest of us wait all week too," Marshall whines. "Although, it is the longest secret she's ever kept."

"Wait, are you saying that Lily is going to tell us?" Robin asks.

"Yes."

"Screw the end of McElroy and LeFleur! Awwww!" Barney and Robin shout in unison as they get out of bed and walk briskly to the living room.

"Surprise!" Ted, Tracy and Lily shout as they enter.

They glance around the room. The place looks like a baby wonderland. The sheer amount of pastel blue and pink that overwhelms the normal grey apartment makes him nauseous. That or it could be the fact that in a few minutes, he will know if they are having a son or a daughter. There are pink and blue balloons covering every surface of the room, along with a banner that reads 'It's a ?'. Lily really out did herself on the sign. And then there is the pile of gifts in the corner in green and yellow wrapping. Presuming the gifts are just from the four of them, there sure are a lot of them.

"We thought the place could use some color," Tracy jokes, breaking them out of their funk. "Ok. Maybe not the best joke," she admits.

"I thought it was perfect," Ted pipes up.

"See, and this is why you are perfect for each other," Robin teases.

"So what is it?" Barney asks like a six year old trying to figure out what is in his Christmas gift. Any semblance of nerves he had left has left him now.

"The answer is in the cheesecake," Lily answers. "There is a layer of color in there. It's either pink or blue, strawberry or blueberry."

"So we have to cut it to find out?" Robin asks.

"Yep."

Robin rushes over to the couch and sits in front of the cheesecake. Barney is not far behind. "Geeze guys, don't hurt the baby before it is even out," Lily comments.

"So which one of us should cut it?" Robin asks Barney quietly.

"You. You deserve to. You are the one growing it," he responds.

"Thanks Barney." She offers him a smile as a consolation prize. She knows it isn't easy for him to give up things like this. All she heard for an entire summer once was how he wanted to push the button to demolish the building on the site of the new GNB headquarters.

He appreciates the smile. He knows she has to know how much it means to him to let her do this. But she deserves it. He isn't half as strong as she is. He wouldn't be able to sit in bed all day just focusing on the baby.

"You ready?" Barney asks, worried because she looks incredibly nervous.

"Yeah. You?" Robin responds.

"Yeah."

"Alright then."

She slowly cuts into the cake with the knife that Lily had left there. Barney hands her the cake server and she nervously slides it under the slice. She pulls up on the cake server and quickly moves the slice to the plate without looking at it. As soon as she has the slice on the plate, she clamps her eyes shut, not really wanting to look at it yet.

"It's pink!" Barney shouts, just barely realizing what that all means. It means it's a girl. The baby is a girl. They are going to have a daughter.

Robin finally looks at the plate when Barney shouts. She is in just as much disbelief as Barney. She has been wondering what it is for weeks now, and it just doesn't seem real.

"It's a girl!" she mumbles, as her and Barney lean in for an embrace at the same time, tears filling in their eyes.

The rest of the gang erupts into cheers and hugs while Lily sneaks over to the sign to hang up the word girl that had been hiding behind the couch.

"Ok! Who wants a piece of cheesecake?" Lily yells over the excitement.

* * *

 "So, Tracy and I did a little shopping," Lily announces later, after they all enjoyed the cheesecake. Barney couldn't say that he wasn't disturbed by the mustard topping that both Robin and Tracy added. Pregnant women.

"A little?" Robin jokes. "There are literally like a hundred boxes over there." In reality there were only about 10 boxes, but for only two people, it seems like a lot of gifts to Robin. She guesses that they are already being great aunts, always spoiling the baby.

"I want to see what's in them Robin," Barney bursts out excitedly.

"Ok, ok. Calm down," Robin scolds. "What should I open first?"

"It doesn't matter," Lily answers.

"Ok. I guess I will pick this one first." She selects a pale yellow bag decorated with bears on the outside. She lets Barney remove the yellow tissue paper covering the top. She reaches in the bag a pulls out a tiny dress that looks familiar. It's the one from that day in We-Be-Babies, with the black velvet top and the white ruffle skirt. She is stunned. It brings back so many memories of that day when they first thought she was pregnant.

"Did you know?" Robin asks, with tears in her eyes.

"Know what?" Tracy asks.

"Know about this dress," Robin answers.

"No. I just bought it," Lily replies. "Why?"

"Nothing. It's not important," she insists.

Barney can't help but wonder what her reaction was about. The dress looks familiar, and it is adorable, but he can't place where he saw it before. He makes a mental note to ask her about it later.

"Ok. Next one!" She exclaims.

* * *

 "So what was the dress thing about?" Barney asks Robin later after everyone went home. She had unwrapped many girly clothes for the baby, but nothing had struck her as much as that first dress.

"What dress thing?"

"Robin. You know which dress thing I mean. Why did you get freaked out by seeing that dress?" he asks her, intimately curious as to why she acted so strange about it. He hears her sigh about it before she begins her answer.

"It was the one you showed me at We-Be-babies when we went with Lily and we thought…"

"Oh." He can completely understand that. That would have gotten him upset too, had he realized that was what it was. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize."

"How were you supposed to know," she comforts. "And it's not like I could bring it up though, because no one knows that I could have been." Well, Ted knows, he thinks, but it's probably best if she doesn't know that he told him about that.

"Yeah. I guess you are right."

"I still can't believe it's a girl," Robin whispers.

"I guess we are going to have to stop calling her an it now," Barney implies.

"Yeah," she sighs.

"Are you happy?" Barney asks her.

"Yeah," she mutters unconvincingly.

"You don't seem happy."

"I don't know. I guess I was really expecting it to be a boy."

"I thought you said you didn't care what it was."

"I thought I didn't," she sighs. "I don't know." She slumps her head and looks down at her hands, where she is playing with her wedding rings.

"Robin. Look at me." She slowly raises her head to look him in the eyes. "We're having a girl. A healthy baby girl. I know that you were expecting a boy and you are upset because your dad wants a boy, but you need to move past that. Do you know what is going to happen if you don't?" She shakes her head. "You are going to start to wish that she was a boy, and maybe even start treating her that way. Eventually, she is going to want nothing to do with you."

"Oh my god. That's what I'm doing," she scolds herself.

"No," he corrects her. "You're not doing it yet. I am just reminding you what happened to you when your parents were expecting a boy."

"I'm going to screw this up," she insists.

"No. No you're not Robin," he professes. "Are we going to be the world's best parents? Probably not. But are we going to learn from our parents' mistakes? Yes. We love this girl. You know that. You're going to teach her how to be a girl, not be upset with her because she isn't a boy. You're going to buy her dresses and paint her nails and teach her how to put on makeup, because that is what girls do. It's what you never got to do. Her life isn't going to be like yours because you know better."

"How do you always know what to say?" she wonders.

"Because I know what you need to hear." He sighs looking at her and putting a hand on her stomach. "My two girls. I like the sound of that."

 

* * *

 

_10/2/14_

_So readers, I am halfway there. Week 20, although, it seems like a much shorter time since it has only been about 9 weeks since we found out about the baby._

_What was the most exciting part of this week you ask? Well…._

_IT'S A GIRL!_

_In a huge display of cruelty, our friends waited an entire week to tell us that we were having a girl, but the way they did tell us more than made up for it. The whole week, they had been planning a surprise party, complete with gifts, decorations, and a strawberry filled cheesecake, which was how we found out it was a girl. She is going to be a fashionista, with all of the tiny outfits that her aunts already bought for her._

 

 


	30. Learning to Knit

"Hey. Sorry I'm late," Tracy says running in the door to the bedroom.

"It's ok. It's not like you are going to make me late for anything," Robin jokes.

"I stopped at the bar and got to chatting with Ollie. I haven't seen him in a while. We were catching up about the baby," Tracy explains.

"You mean the bartender Ollie?" Robin asks.

"Yeah."

"That's great. How is he doing?"

"Great. He loves running MacLaren's now," Tracy informs.

"Awesome." The thought of Ollie just makes Robin miss the bar, so she quickly changes the subject. "So how does this work?" she asks. "We get some string and knot it together?"

Tracy giggles and rolls her eyes. Typical Robin. "Let's start off with the basics," she says while kicking off her shoes and climbing on the bed, dragging the comically large bag with all the supplies along with her. "It's called knitting, the string is called yarn, and it's knitted together, not knotted." Robin rolls her eyes. "Are you sure you still want to do this?"

"Yes," Robin moans. "I am bored out of my mind. Watching B movies and crappy cable is only fun for so long."

"Point taken." She fumbles around in her bag and pulls out a few items. "I thought the easiest thing for you to start with would be a simple blanket. It is all the same stitch, and you certainly have enough time to finish it."

"Sounds good."

"This is the yarn I brought you," Tracy says, handing the pink roll to Robin. "When the whole thing is together, it is called a skein."

"That's a funny word. Skein," Robin laughs. Tracy looks at her disapprovingly. "Sorry. Go on."

"All you really need is the skein and knitting needles, which I have here." She hands them to Robin.

"Those don't really look like needles," Robin points out.

"They don't," Tracy answers. "They are just called that. I picked these specific ones because they are connected and easy to work with for the first time, but they come in all sorts of shapes and sizes."

"Ok, what about this yarn," Robin says, grabbing it off of the bed. "It's so soft!"

"It is yarn specifically made for babies. I got pink. I hope you don't mind."

"I don't. She is going to have as much pink as she can," Robin declares. "Well, except for the walls. Barney thinks it might mess up 'the Fortress'," she motions with air quotes as she speaks, "if we paint the walls of the nursery. Not to mention he still has to get his suits out of there."

"What is he going to do with them all?" Tracy questions.

"I'm not sure yet. I think that is why he is being slow in moving them," Robin answers.

"Wow, Barney giving up his suit room. That's something I never thought I would see," Tracy proclaims.

"Yeah tell me about it. They used to be his pride and joy," Robin says, remembering some of her early interactions with Barney. "At one point he even said that his suits were his family."

"Did he really?" Tracy giggles. It seems perfectly Barney.

"Yeah. It was a long time ago now. He isn't quite that attached anymore, thank goodness," Robin states. "Although he is still too attached."

"Okay…" Tracy draws out. "Back to knitting."

"Yes," Robin replies curtly.

"You start by making a slip knot near the end of the yarn. Do you know how to do that?" Tracy asks.

"I spent three days in the wilderness on my 14th birthday after my father pushed me out of a helicopter," Robin replies sarcastically. "I think I know how to make a slipknot."

"I'm sorry," Tracy responds, trying to avoid the awkward silence that just fell over the room. She wasn't expecting such a harsh answer.

"Don't be," Robin apologizes. "I shouldn't have snapped."

"It's ok."

"So I make a slip knot?" Robin changes the subject.

"Yeah, but keep a loop at the top. Then you slip the loop on the right needle and tighten it," Tracy instructs.

"Like this?" she asks Tracy, after completing the step.

"Yes, like that. Now hold the needle in your right hand, and loop the thread behind and over your hand like this." Tracy maneuvers the yarn over Robin's hand. "Now put the point of the needle underneath the yarn in your hand." Robin does the motion. "Exactly like that. Next you pull out your hand." Robin follows Tracy's direction and moves her hand. "Do you see how that made a loop around the needle?" Robin nods. "Pull it tight, but not too tight."

"That's it?" Robin questions.

"That is one casting on stitch. It is how you start. So for now just keep repeating that for a few stitches. Maybe 30 for practice," Tracy answers.

"So just repeat the loop behind the hand and put it on the needle thirty times?" Robin questions, wondering if that is really all there is to this.

"Yep," Tracy confirms.

Robin repeats it again. It really isn't that hard, she thinks. She was expecting this to be much harder, especially since she hasn't done anything crafty in her entire life. She sort of wanted to when she was a young girl, but her father wouldn't allow her. Plus, she partially wanted to do it because she couldn't. So learning this now, at 34, is not at all what she ever expected.

She does three more stitches before Tracy comments, "It looks like you've got the hang of it. Just make sure that you keep counting."

"Alright. I think I am at 7."

"If you need to, stop and count the loops," Tracy instructs.

Robin, being the fast learner that she is, finishes the thirty stitches in no time.

"Ok. I'm finished."

"Alright. Next is the traditional knit stitch. Move the needle with the loops into your left hand. Now take the needle in your right hand and push it underneath the top loop. Go through the loop and push the needle so it is on the right is behind the left." Tracy demonstrates with her own project that she pulled out of her bag a few minutes ago.

"Ok, so like this?" Robin asks, showing her what she has done.

"Yep, like that." Robin smiles, proud of herself for getting it right.

"This isn't that hard," Robin declares.

"The hardest part is actually coming up," Tracy says. "Now, take the yarn that is connected to the skein, and loop it counter-clockwise around the right needle."

"Well that isn't hard," Robin counters sarcastically.

"No I didn't mean that part," Tracy chides. "I meant this next part."

An 'oh' escapes Robin's mouth.

"Now look between the two needles," Tracy coaches. "Do you see how you kind of have two loops?"

"Yeah?"

"Well take the right needle and put it through the hole on the left."

"Kay. Done."

"Now, carefully pull the needle partially out of the loop that you put the needle in first, but keep the string that you just wrapped around the needle. You only want to pull just enough so you can pull the needle to the front," Tracy describes as she shows Robin on her own project.

"Ok." Robin copies Tracy's movement very slowly. "Like this? Did I do it right?"

"Yes," Tracy praises. "That's it. Now you repeat that again."

"To the end of the row?"

"Yep. And when you are done, switch the hand your needles are in and keep going."

"Well that seems easy enough," Robin comments, working on her next stitch.

It takes Robin a few stitches to completely get the hang of it, but when she does, she gets faster and faster. It seems strange to her how quickly she picks it up. It must be a testament to how incredibly boring her life has been.

"Can I ask you a question?" Tracy asks after a bit of silent concentration.

"Sure," Robin replies.

"How do you do it?" Robin stops what she is doing and looks at her questioningly. "How do you sit here in bed all day? I feel like a bitch for even asking," Tracy mumbles, "but I just don't know if I could do it."

Robin sighs and lets her head fall, while dropping her knitting.

"You really want to know?" Robin implores, with a slightly angry tone.

"Yes. I do. Why?" Tracy questions.

"Honestly," Robin sighs, "this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. Most days, I don't even want to wake up. This isn't something I ever wanted to do."

"What do you mean?" Tracy inquires.

"I never wanted to have kids. Ever. Even as a child I swore I was never going to have kids."

"There was never a part of you that wanted kids?"

"Maybe a little once or twice. Mostly when I found out about my infertility, but it was less about wanting kids and more the fact that I knew I couldn't change my mind and have them later. I lost the control over my life," Robin confesses. She doesn't think that she has ever told anyone that, besides Barney. "Honestly, babies scare me."

"Really?" Tracy gasps, shocked by Robin's revelation. "You seem like such a natural around Marvin."

"I also didn't hold him for the first nine months," Robin stifles back tears at Tracy's implication. Even when she did hold Marvin the first time, she still wasn't quite ready to deal with everything that went along with babies.

"Oh my gosh, Robin, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to bring it up," Tracy atones.

"It's ok," Robin admits. "You weren't around for that. You didn't know." They sit together in awkward silence, as Robin reaches to pick up her knitting.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" Tracy asks.

"Go ahead," Robin mumbles, not sure if she wants to know where this might go.

"Do you want to have this baby?"

The question hits Robin where it hurts. She doesn't want to be here, she doesn't really want to be pregnant, but she can't think of not having this baby now. It's not that she would even consider not being pregnant now, now that she is. She just thinks that maybe, if they had been trying to get pregnant, this wouldn't be so hard to swallow.

"I do. I love her already," Robin admits. "I just think that it would be easier to deal with all of this if I had wanted it in the first place."

Tracy sighs. "I don't think that is true. I think this is just a hard thing to do. I don't think wanting to be a mother makes it any easier."

"Easy for you to say," Robin says, rolling her eyes. Of course Tracy would try to say that. If she had to do this it would be easy, because she always wanted the two kids, and the house, and the perfect husband.

"I'm serious. I would feel just as bad about this if I were you," Tracy pauses. She continues in a lower tone. "You know that I feel bad every time I come over here? I feel guilty walking in front of you, or talking about anything in front of you. I feel like you must hate me," Tracy whispers, starting to cry.

"I don't hate you," Robin says, feeling tears start to well in her eyes upon witnessing Tracy's tears.

"Do you feel jealous of me?" Tracy sobs.

"No!" Robin explains with a high pitched squeal.

"You're lying."

"Alright," Robin sighs. "Maybe I am a little bit jealous."

"Robin…" Tracy trails off, still sobbing. Robin wonders how she is ever going to get the mom guilt trip down like Tracy and Lily have.

"Ok. fine. I'm a lot jealous," Robin shouts in an outburst. "You get to walk around, looking all perfect, and go to work, and go to the bar, and live your life. It's like I am being punished for never wanting kids."

"Robin," Tracy says soothingly. "It is ok to be jealous of me. I get it. I know it makes it worse that I am pregnant too, but I am here for you."

"You don't get what it's like," Robin continues to shout. "I can't do anything for myself. I had to give up almost everything that makes me, _me_ to do this."

"And that it the most wonderful thing you could have done," Tracy comforts. "You didn't have to give up yourself. You don't 'have to' listen to the doctor."

"Yes I do. Something could happen to her if I don't. I can't let anything happen to her," Robin rambles.

"Exactly my point. This may suck, but you are choosing to do this for her because you love her."

Robin is silent. The thought that Tracy just implanted is still working its way through her brain.

"Are you ok?" Tracy asks.

"Yeah," Robin mumbles, nodding her head. "I just don't… I never thought of it that way. I mean Barney says it all the time, but it's different coming from him."

Tracy smiles. "You know what? Next weekend Ted and I will come over and we will spend the day here together, and I will make Ted take care of me, that way I can see how it feels."

"You don't have to do that. Besides it's after the first week that you start feeling like this," Robin explains.

"Come on! It will be fun. Really," Tracy pleads. "Then the guys can hang out too. We miss you two. Should we invite Lily?"

"Yeah. Actually it's been a while since we all have been together. Why not?"

* * *

_10/9/14_

_It's official readers: I've learned to knit. Apparently, I am pretty good at it already, although that may be because my brain is atrophying from the lack of experiences, as a result of being stuck in bed all day. Bad cable and B movies just does something to the brain. My goal is to make a baby blanket._

_The best part of the learning experience was the heart to heart I had with one of my friends. She is also pregnant, although she is due in March. She gave me the best piece of advice for how to deal with this. I don't have to follow the doctor's advice. I am choosing to do this to keep the baby safe. It was a new outlook for me. This really how I am choosing to live my life._

_I also have something to look forward to. In a few weeks, she will be coming over with her husband, along with another couple of friends, and they are going to spend the day to learn what it is like for us. For me, it will be more of a fun girls' day, and it will give my husband a little bit of a break._

_19 weeks to go!_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tracy's friend Ollie is a reference to NanoBlade's stories, The Bartender, 56 Hours, and Meet at MacLaren's, on ff.net


	31. Fitting in with the Fortress

"Hey babe. How are you tonight?" Barney asks, finally getting home after a long day of work. He is curious to see what Robin's day has been like, because she mentioned something this morning about wanting to shop for the baby today.

"I think I found the perfect furniture," she grins happily, the laptop still on her thighs in front of her ever expanding bump. "Look," she says, as she motions him over.

He kicks off his shoes, shrugs off his jacket and hangs it up before climbing into the bed with her. He greets her with a quick kiss on the lips and a kiss on the bump before turning his attention to the computer.

One look and he can't help but let his mouth drop open in shock, because she is absolutely right. It is perfect. It is feminine, yet, clean and feels like it belongs in the fortress. He has been wanting a way not to have to paint the room, and this crib will help tie it all together.

Maybe, he thinks, he shouldn't care about the color of the walls of their apartment so much, but he just can't bring himself to ruin the walls of the Fortress with the color pink. Especially not after what Quinn did. Pink walls just somehow remind him of that horrible point in his life where Robin wasn't his, and he was just trying to get by with the next closest thing he could.

"I love this photo of it," Robin tells him. "It's a crib that turns into a toddler bed and then a full size bed. But it's the right touch of girly and still fits in with the Fortress," Robin tries to convince him. "Plus, it looks gorgeous with these pink comforters and pillows."

The crib is a simple, white piece of furniture with grey accents. Three sides of the crib feature plain horizontal white top rails, and thin white cylinders running vertically as slats, perfectly matching the already clean lines of the apartment and room. But it is the fourth side, or the showy side that makes it the perfect crib. The fourth side is solid, painted wood, with almost the texture of marble. The top is about a foot higher than the rest of the crib, but there are arches cut out on both sides to match the top of the rails. The painted wood is trimmed with a delicate white woodwork, outlining the accent. This showy side is what forms the headboard when it is converted to a bed. There is also a small piece of the same type of painted wood on the opposite side of the crib, just to accent, which makes the footboard of the eventual bed.

"Let's order it right now!" Barney declares.

"But Barney! We haven't-" she starts to exclaim before correcting herself calmly, "well, YOU haven't even cleaned out the room yet. How can we order it? We don't have a place to put it."

"Well, it says right here it takes six weeks to get here, and I love it. So what is the point in not getting it now? Plus, you don't know how early you might be," he challenges her.

"Okay. Okay. We just bought a crib then," she smiles at him happily.

The idea of buying a crib makes the whole thing real to him. Soon his suits will be replaced by a little girl.

"How about the other furniture? Changing table, dresser, rocking chair. There are things that match," Robin adds, changing tabs and windows on the computer and before turning it to him.

"Let me see," he says, grabbing the computer.

She shows him the crib's matching dresser, a white three drawer piece. It is about waist high, with colored drawer panels painted to match the grey on the crib, and six delicate ring drawer pulls down either side of the drawers.

"I thought that we could get two of them for the room, and get the converter for the changing table for one of them. That way, we have more storage room. Not to mention, we have the space," Robin suggests.

"That sounds good, but what do you mean by a converter?" Barney asks.

"It's a piece that you add onto the top to hold the changing pad," Robin says.

"Oh. I like it. And the chair?" he asks.

"I picked this one."

It is a weathered-grey, upholstered chair, but it looks nothing like the normal plush chairs sold for nurseries. It fits the classic look of the fortress, yet still looks comfortable. It is a squared off piece of furniture in its upholstery, with every edge at a soft right angle. The high back is slightly angled. The narrow armrests angle back to meet the back at a right angle. On top of it, the chair is a glider, perfect for rocking the baby back to sleep.

"Wow," he whispers, surprised by her finds today. Somehow he expected the furniture to be much harder to find. He even expected her to fight him on the whole painting issue. "You're right. It is perfect. It's all perfect."

"We just bought something for the baby," Robin murmurs, smiling like an idiot.

"Yes, yes we did."

* * *

_10/16/14_

_This week, week 22, baby girl is the size of a papaya. She is almost 12 inches, and might even weigh over a pound. Apparently, she is sleeping in regular cycles, although it doesn't quite feel like that yet._

_This week, my husband and I decided on baby furniture. It seems soon, but we didn't expect to find the perfect items on the first day of looking. I found one set I fell in love with on Monday, and he loved it when he got home, insisting that we buy it right away. The crib we found is just perfect to fit our apartment, and yet feminine enough to be girly for her growing up. Plus, it will convert into a toddler bed and a full size bed when she needs it. We also bought two dressers, one of which we will use as a changing table, and a glider and ottoman set. Even the glider is something that we can use in the rest of the apartment._

_Thankfully, it won't be a problem to order it this early, since the items are custom order, it will take at least six weeks to even be delivered. Plus, being on bed rest, I am likely to deliver early, so the earlier we get this process done, the better._

_That leaves just six weeks for my husband to clean out the room. I wish him all the luck in the world. And hopefully, we can choose a name just as fast._

_Also, does anyone have a good cure for stretch marks?_

__


	32. The Name Game

"How was your day?" Barney asks, when they sit down for dinner Monday night.

"Good. I was looking up some names today, and I think I found a few good ones," Robin replies.

"Shoot."

"Chloe," Robin offers.

"She was a good one," Barney snickers.

"So that rules that one out then," Robin groans.

"No names of girls I slept with at all?"

"Nope." Barney opens his mouth in retort, but Robin cuts him off. "And don't say that there aren't going to be any names left."

"Fine," he groans. "Finish your list."

"Bella."

"Nope," he replies quickly.

"Presley."

"Gorsh, that sounds like a stuck up celebrity."

"Jasmine."

"Lily's doppelganger's name. So... no."

"Ella."

"Too common."

"Vivian."

"Sounds like an old lady. Next."

"Jamie."

"That's a boy's name."

She rolls her eyes. Leave it to Barney to nix her entire list so far.

"That's my whole list from today. This is going to be harder than I thought," Robin comments.

"Yeah," he sighs. "I guess it is."

They sit in silence for a moment, thinking about how they will ever come up with a name. They couldn't even agree on a wedding caterer.

"I think I have an idea," Robin announces. "I think that we should come up with a list of names we like. Then we come back together, we compare our lists, and we discuss the ones we have in common."

"Sounds like a plan. When are we doing this?" he asks.

"How about tomorrow over dinner? You can pick up some sushi."

"Works for me."

* * *

 "Alright. I've got spicy tuna rolls for me, and California rolls for you," Barney says, "and the barbecue sauce and honey mustard you wanted," he shutters.

"It's delicious. You should try it," Robin insists.

"No, it's a bizarre craving. A gross," he spits, "bizarre craving,"

"Let's just start. I already told you some of my picks yesterday. How about you go first."

"Ok. Piper," Barney suggests.

"That sounds like a stripper," Robin retorts. "How about Kenley?"

"That is a hippie if I ever heard one. And I was one," Barney quips. "Cecilia?"

"If you want Marshall to make a chart about her, then yes, go ahead name her Cecilia. Sydney?"

"That is a city is Europe," he stresses, "and besides, I don't want to name my daughter after a place."

"It is actually in Australia," she stresses, "and I guess that rules out London, Brooklyn, Savannah, Adalaide, and Dakota then."

"Yep. Ooo…" he exclaims. "How about Parker?"

"That is a boy name. Kylie?"

"You once said, and I quote, that 'girls whose names end in ly are always dirty, and don't even get me started on girls whose names should end in y but instead end in i. Those girls are like roller coasters.' So no. Get rid of every name on your list that ends in ly."

"So Riley, Kaylee, Brinley, Callie, and Ellie are all out?"

"Yep. Camilla?"

"What is she going to be the Queen of England?"

"So does that rule out Diana too?"

"Yes, Canada," he spits out, "it does."

"Fine. Daniella."

"Nope. Harper."

"Too celebrity. April."

"I am not naming our daughter after a month," he scorns. "Next."

"Shaelyn."

"Hippie. Alexandra."

"Too common. Mackenzie?"

"Too common. How about Serenity?"

"No. Nothing religious. Nothing about miracles, or joys, or destinies. You know I don't believe in that crap," Robin sneers.

"Fine. Taylor?"

"Not bad. I'll think about that one. Ava?"

"Not bad either. Sage."

"One, that sounds like a spice," she says in disgust. "Two, that sounds like a hippie. We both know this girl is way too awesome to have a hippie name. So get rid of anything that is a food, or a season, or a flower, or a weird way to say anything earthy."

"Fine. Naomi?"

"Slutty Pumpkin. Evelyn?"

"God no. She is a baby, not an old lady. I thought we went over this already," he starts to raise his voice. "Besides, we are not naming her after Ted."

Robin laughs. She forgot that Ted's middle name is Evelyn. "Point taken," she giggles.

"Eliza?"

"And you are the one telling me to get rid of the old lady names?" she returns to the more hostile retorts. "Mine is at least from this century."

"Arielle?"

"What is this? A Disney movie?" she asks rhetorically. "No way. No Disney characters. Josie?"

"Uggg… just no. Leah?"

"Too close to Leia. You know Ted has had dibs on that name forever. Jada?"

"No."

"Heidi?"

"What is she, a little German girl? No thank you."

"Sophia?"

"Nope. Banged her. Daphne?"

"Seriously? That is the crazy woman that Marshall had to ride from Minnesota with to our wedding."

"I forgot about that. How about Bianca?"

"No. Jacqueline?" she asks hopefully. It is one of her favorites.

"Ah, not bad," he considers. "Put that on the maybe list. Katelyn?"

"God no. There are a million Katelyns out there. Olivia?"

"Too many Olivias too. Marissa?"

"Marissa Heller maybe?" she retorts. "No. How about Satayana?"

"I am pretty sure that is some celebrity's baby name. So... no. Jordan?"

"Maybe. It's not bad. McKenna?"

"Well, we do like scotch, but I don't think we should name our daughter after scotch," he laughs.

"Yeah, you are probably right," she giggles. "We really would win worst parents of the year for that one. How about Jade?"

"Stripper," he exclaims, rolling his eyes.

"Logan?"

"That is a boy. Ashlyn?"

"No. Not at all. I don't like that at all," she replies. "Abigail?"

"That isn't bad. Peyton?"

"Ehh, it's ok. Doesn't really go with Stinson though. Cassidy?"

"Which shortens to Cassie," she retorts, "also known as the girl at our wedding who cried the entire time. No."

"How about Hadley?"

"That sounds like a hippie name. I like Liliana."

"That's way too close to Lily. I thought we agreed that we weren't going to name her after anyone. How about Kennedy?"

"That is a political family. I am not naming our daughter after a political family. No."

"God this is hard," he whines, finally getting tired of the back and forth with her.

"You know what? Why don't we just trade lists, and we can cross out the names we don't like, and you can cross out names of girls you've slept with and we can see what we have left. Then we can discuss the short list."

"Awesome, cause I'm tired of arguing," Barney agrees, while stealing her list from her hands.

Robin picks up his list from where he dropped it on the bed in the haste to get hers. She doesn't quite know how they will ever come up with a name. They haven't had one they fully agreed on yet. Regardless, maybe just doing it this way will make it easier. It is unnerving to hold her daughter's future in her hands like this. There is so much that will ride on her name. Her entire identity will be defined by this moment between her and Barney. To top it off, he has some of the most bizarre names out there. She has no idea how they will ever do justice to their daughter.

He doesn't know how they are going to make this work. He has never named anything in his life, except for the holidays he made up that is. He has never named anything quite so important. Hell, he never even had a pet to name growing up. It scares him to think that any stupid decision that they make on her name right now could lead to the endless teasing that he had to endure growing up because of his name. He is just worried that they won't end up agreeing on any name, since all of her names are a bit boring.

The only noise that either of them hear for the next five minutes is the sound of pens scraping against rustling paper. Both of them are completely engrossed in not screwing up their daughter's future.

"Ok. I think I am done," Barney says quietly.

"I am almost done. Give me a minute," Robin shushes him. She makes a few more pen strokes before she looks at him. "Ok."

"How many do you have?" Barney asks.

"Five. You?"

"Six."

"You read yours first, and then I will read mine."

"Okay. Ava, Mia, Elizabeth, Brianna, Jacqueline, and Peyton," Barney reads from Robin's list.

"Taylor, Brianna, Jordan, Abigail, and Juliana," robin reads from Barney's list.

"Brianna. Brianna. Did we really both have Brianna on our list?" He questions.

"Yes. We did. Is that it? Is Brianna it?" Robin wonders aloud.

"I don't know? Brianna Stinson."

"It certainly has a nice ring to it. Brianna Stinson."

"I like it," Barney says with a grin, while reaching out to touch the bump.

"I do too, but I think that we shouldn't make the decision tonight," she sighs. "We should think about it for a couple of days. We have a while till she is born, and I don't want to make a rash decision and have to change her name later."

"I agree."

"Oh, and I don't think we should tell anyone. We don't want Ted and Tracy to steal the name."

"True."

"So for the next few days, let's think it over, just the two of us."

"Sounds like a plan."

* * *

 "Her name is Brianna," Robin exclaims one afternoon when Barney stops by for lunch.

"Why? I mean I love the name, but why are you so sure?"

"I started calling her Brianna, and every time I call her Brianna, she kicks," Robin explains happily.

"Brianna it is then," Barney declares. "If she likes it that much, then I do too."

"Me too." They grin at each other like fools, because it's not just the baby anymore. She has a name. She is Brianna.

"Quick question though. What about her middle name?"

"Aww crap."

* * *

_10/23/14_

_Baby girl is now almost a foot long, but she is so curled up, that she is about the size of a grapefruit. Although, it feels like I have so much more than a grapefruit in there. She is also hearing everything that is going on outside of me. Even scarier, is she is now mature enough to be born and still be able to survive._

_So what was one of the first things that she heard this week? Her parents arguing over her name. We are pretty sure that we have picked a name, but we aren't going to share until after her birth, just in case we change our minds. But even after living with it, and calling her by it for a few days, we are pretty sure we are in love with it, and she loves it too! She kicks almost every time she hears it._

_We still haven't figured out a middle name. We can't seem to find one that we like to go along with the first name that we have chosen, but we still have time to figure that out._

 

 


	33. She's Staying in There

"Robin! I have a surprise for you!" Barney exclaims as soon as he is in the front door.

A surprise? Robin wonders what he could have this time. The last time he said those words he brought her favorite restaurant to her.

Barney enters the bedroom with a woman in tow. Robin can't help but let her mind wander. What the hell was he doing bringing a strange woman here?

"Uh, Barney, who is this?" Robin questions politely, trying not to show how thrown off she is. She hates these kinds of surprises.

Barney, on the other hand is proud of himself. He has this wonderful surprise for Robin, and he can't wait for her to find out about it.

"This is Shelia," he announces. "She is a childbirth instructor. She agreed to do a private class for us. Isn't that great?" he says with a smile on his face.

"Uh, Shelia, nice to meet you," Robin says with a saccharine sweetness completely unlike her. "Can you excuse us for a minute?"

"Sure, I'll be out in the living room," Shelia responds, and walks out of the bedroom quickly, closing the door behind her.

Robin waits until she no longer hears her footsteps before ripping into Barney, "Barney, what the hell were you thinking?"

He is shocked by her reaction. He wasn't expecting that reaction at all. He was expecting her to be excited, and happy that he found someone to help. "You're upset?" But now that he thinks about it, he could tell she wasn't happy the moment he introduced Sheila.

"Of course I'm upset," Robin laments. "You brought someone over without warning me. I am basically in my pajamas here. I look horrible."

"You look beautiful, you always look beautiful," and it's true. She has always looked beautiful to him. Even long before they hooked up for the first time. "And I don't see what the big deal is." He doesn't see what the big deal is. He can tell it's not just about her looks.

She groans in aggravation. "The big deal is that this is not something you just surprise a person with, Barney. This is something we should have decided on together. And not just who the person is, but what their philosophy is too."

"Philosophy? There are philosophies on childbirth?" He is really confused. There is more than one way to have a baby? "I thought there was only one way to have a baby, you pushed and the baby comes out."

Robin rolls her eyes. "You have got to be kidding me. Did you read those books?"

"I tried. They were boooring!" he brushes off in his usual manner.

"They were boring?" she questions, starting to fume in anger.

"Yeah, I mean, I don't really need to know that stuff," Barney argues. "I don't really have to be there."

"You don't have to be there?" Robin shouts "You are the one that did this to me, and you don't have to be there?"

Oh shit, he thinks, she is pissed. She is really pissed. He is digging himself into a hole, and for once, he can recognize it.

"Uhh… I think I am going to go tell Sheila that we are going to reschedule."

"That is probably a good idea," Robin replies snarkily.

Seriously, what was he thinking? He walks out into the living room, and finds Shelia admiring the view.

"Shelia, we are going to reschedule. I will still pay you for today. Thanks for coming over."

"Sure. Just let me know what works for you," she responds as she walks over to the door and lets herself out.

"I will."

Where did he go wrong? He thought that Robin would love the idea of starting the birthing classes. Yes, he probably should have told her about it, but how was he supposed to know that she wouldn't like the surprise? How was he supposed to know that she would get so opinionated. He sulks back into the bedroom, hoping she has had enough time to cool down, so that he can at least apologize for what he did wrong.

"Robin, what did I do wrong? I don't want you to be mad at me, and I'm sorry for whatever I did wrong.

"You made a decision on your own. That's what. I know you were trying to help, but these are decisions we need to make together as a team, and if only one of us is making that decision, it should be me," she explains. "After all, I am the one that actually has to do this."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know it matters that much to you," Barney apologizes.

"Of course it matters," she mutters before starting into a rant. "I haven't even decided what I want out of the experience, but I do know I want you to be there." Part of him does want to be there, but a part of him is really scared about it.

"You want me to be there?"

"Of course I want you to be there. I know you like to pretend that pain doesn't bother you even though it does, but it is not going to get you out of this. This is your daughter being born. You don't want to miss it. You are going to be mad at yourself forever if you aren't. Besides, I have to be there, so you do too. This is one of those times that we need to work together, instead of being lone wolves."

"You sure about that?" he asks carefully.

"Absolutely. I don't care how ridiculous you end up acting, or the stupid things you say during, I want nothing more than you there beside me," she says with a smile. She has returned to her normal calm nature. "I want you to be there to help me through it. We made her together and I want to bring her into the world together." In a strange way, that makes sense to him.

"Alright. I'll be there. And I'll even let you pick the birthing classes."

Robin giggles at his way of admitting his guilt. Typical Barney. "Thank you."

"So what did you want to do for a childbirth class?"

"Well, I don't want to be singled out. I want to be the person in the back of the class that can crack jokes. I want to take it seriously, but have fun at the same time, and I can't do that if we are just the only ones with the teacher."

He can't believe that he didn't think about that. He hates learning stuff. Ted's Robin 101 class was torturous enough. Of course he wants to be able to be the one to crack jokes. It would be awkward to be the only one with the teacher. It was bad enough with Ted, but with a stranger yet? And this is a much more personal topic than that was, although Robin might disagree with him on that one.

"How about we take it online?" Robin asks, breaking Barney out of his thoughts.

"I guess that could work. I get what you mean about wanting to crack jokes though," Barney replies.

"So you are ok with that?" she asks.

"Yeah."

"Great, I will find one tomorrow, and we can start it tomorrow night after dinner."

* * *

 "I found a great one," Robin responds to Barney when he asks her at dinner about what she found. "I called the doctor's office, and she recommended it. It teaches a little bit of everything, which is great, since I have no idea what I want."

"Great, are you ready to start it then?"

"Yeah. Let's head back to bed. I have it all set up."

When they finally get all snuggled into bed with pillows surrounding Robin, they start the class. He isn't sure what to expect, but the first thing they see is a video on the screen. Robin clicks to start the video, and for the next ten minutes, they watch a video montage of different women giving birth. Barney isn't sure how to react. There are points he wants to look away, but it is almost like looking at a disaster area, you want to look away so much, but for some reason, you just can't. He wasn't excited about being in the room with Robin yesterday, and after this, he is even less excited.

"Oh god. I did not need to see that." he complains. She doesn't respond. "Robin? You ok?"

"Not excessively, no," she replies. She almost looks sick. Yes, he is freaked out about the video, but Robin is the one who could always handle anything.

"What's wrong? It wasn't that bad," he lies, trying to comfort her.

"Yes. Yes it. I can't do this," she cries.

"Yes, you can."

"No I can't. I can't do that. She is just staying in there. There is no way that I can do this whole labor thing. I'll just keep her in there forever."

"Come on Robin. You are awesome." He now understands why he has to be there. He has to be there to get her through it. To remind her how awesome she is. "You will be able to do this. Your body is going to help you through it. You just have to take each day at a time, and learn as much as you can here."

"I don't know. You ok if we stop for the night?"

"Yeah. We can do this later. We have time."

* * *

 

_10/30/14_

_This week was our first childbirth class. Now, we had to go a little bit untraditional on this, because I can't leave the house, so we finally chose to take an online class. Our class started off by watching a video of a live birth. Let's just say that I am horrified. I have no idea how I am ever going to be ready for actually having the baby. For some reason, I have been completely ignoring that part._

_I still haven't decided what kind of childbirth techniques I want to use, so I picked a class that focuses on a few different ideas. Hopefully, my husband will be open to the conversation and we can discuss how we want to have our baby._

_Tomorrow is Halloween, one of my favorite holidays of the year. I used to hate Halloween, but I have grown to love Halloween over the past few years. Sadly, there is no Halloween for me this year, since there is no point in wearing a costume if I can't leave the apartment. I even saw some really cute costumes for pregnant women, but I guess I will have to pass. I can't imagine how different next Halloween will be, since she will be a part of it._

__


	34. Day of Empathy

"So this is what your life is like?" Tracy asks. Robin, Tracy, and Lily are perched on Robin and Barney's bed after just finishing a chick flick. The gang had finally all had the time on a Saturday to have their empathy experience, as Robin had been calling it.

Robin had laid down ground rules for the day. Lily and Tracy were only allowed to get out of bed to go to the bathroom. Marshall and Ted were to do everything for their wife, and for Robin too, so that Barney could have the day off. So far, both Robin and Barney had heard everyone complaining since noon. They all came over at nine, and now, at six in the evening, it had only gotten worse.

"Yep," she answers Tracy, because it seems that finally, they seem to understand.

"Ok. You're right," Tracy admits. "This sucks."

"Yeah," Lily agrees. "At least it was fun having the guys wait on us."

"Yeah, but this actually a lot more fun than a normal day. I actually enjoyed myself," Robin admits.

"I bet Barney enjoyed it too," Tracy adds.

"I think he did," Robin answers. "It was a nice break for him. I feel so bad for him."

"Why do you feel bad?" Lily asks.

"Because he has to do so much for me. I feel like I am tying him down," Robin sighs. "You guys know how much he likes the bar."

"Robin, you know he would do anything for you," Tracy says.

"I know. It just… it sucks to be like this. It sucks to not be independent."

"I get it. It hasn't been easy depending on Marshall today. Besides, I'm sore."

"Me too. My back is killing me. Although that could just be the baby," Tracy says. "My back normally hurts. Does your back hurt?"

"Sometimes. I think I am used to it. I spend a lot of time on my side though. Oh! Did you see that new stroller that folds up on its own. How awesome would that be?"

Lily rolls her eyes. For her, the day has been agonizing. All the baby talk made her miss Marvin, and she feels left out.

"Pretty awesome," Robin agrees. "I saw it when I was looking at things to add to the registry though. Although I kinda have my heart set on one of the Bugaboos."

* * *

 "Do you guys have a name picked out yet?" Marshall asks after the Pixar movie they were watching for Marvin finished.

"Yes, but it's a secret. Robin wants to keep it a secret," Barney says nonchalantly.

"Aww man," Marshall whines.

"What?" Barney asks.

"I came up with the _perfect_ middle name for her and I want to know if it fits."

"You want to pick her middle name?" Barney questions.

"You got to pick Marvin's middle name, I figured it is only fair that I get to pick her middle name," Marshall argues.

"I don't know Marshall. That was differ-" Ted starts.

"Deal!" Barney exclaims.

"Really?" Marshall squeals excitedly.

"Wait! How is that a deal?" Ted questions.

"We can't come up with a middle name. We've talked about it, and we've got nothing. I am sure Robin will be fine with it," Barney answers.

"Dude, Barney. Are you really going to agree to that without Robin's input?" Ted chastises.

"She'll be fine with it. Trust me."

"I figured I was too late," Marshall utters, "and that you already had a middle name already."

"You don't even want to know the name?" Ted inquires.

"Nope. If Marshall says it's perfect, it's perfect."

"Yes!" Marshall exclaims excitedly. "I can't wait to see Robin's reaction."

"So what is it?" Barney asks, figuring that now that he has agreed, Marshall will tell him what it is.

"Not telling. You can find out when she is born, when we find out the first name."

Damn it. All he can think is that it better be worth it, and Robin better be ok with what he just agreed to.

* * *

 Later that night, after everyone left, Barney and Robin started to get ready for bed.

"I kinda did something," Barney admits as he pulls down the cover to climb in with Robin.

"What did you do?" she asks skeptically.

"I uhh…" She stares at him, waiting for his admission of guilt. She tries not to jump to conclusions, but she hopes it isn't anything horrible. "I kinda agreed to let Marshall pick Brianna's middle name."

She starts to laugh. That's it? "Oh. See, I thought you did something serious."

"Wait," he questions, stunned by her nonchalance. "You don't care?"

"Nope. It's a middle name. Whatever he picks can't be nearly as bad as Charles."

"So you are ok with whatever he picks?" he questions, just wanting to make sure she isn't lying to him.

"Yep, and that isn't the pregnancy brain either. I am ok with it. Marshall has a pretty level head on his shoulders."

"This is why I love you," Barney replies before turning out the light and pulling her into his arms.

"I love you too."

* * *

 "I got Barney to agree," Marshall states as he walks into the bedroom that night.

"You did?" Lily asks gleefully.

"Yep."

"Robin's not going to go for it you know," Lily says dejectedly, trying to let Marshall down easily.

"Not true. Barney just texted me and said she agreed," he grins happily, waving his phone back and forth in front of her.

"No way. Let me see." She pulls the phone out of his hand. "Wow. She is going to FLIP when she hears the name though."

"Yes, _but_ she agreed," Marshall argues.

"Yes, but as soon as she finds out the name is Miracle she is going to take it back. You know she doesn't believe in miracles. You know she hates that word altogether."

"Which is _exactly_ why I am not telling them until she is born, because by that time, she will realize that the baby is a miracle."

"Hopefully you will be right," Lily pauses before snuggling into bed next to Marshall. "Hey Baby?"

"Yes, Lilypad?"

"Never mind." He can tell that something is bothering her, so he presses further.

"No, Lily what is it?"

"I don't know. I just feel… well... left out lately."

"Because you're not pregnant?" he guesses.

"Yeah," she sighs. "I mean, I just thought that we would be the ones going through this with Ted. The whole day today was just about babies."

"I know. I feel it too."

"Really?" She is a bit shocked to hear Marshall say that. She wasn't expecting him to feel the same way.

"Yeah. Even when it's just us guys Ted and Barney always have something baby to talk about."

"Why am I not surprised? Well, by Ted at least, but Barney? He talks too?"

"Yep. It's kinda weird actually. I never quite expected to see this side of him. I mean he invented Not A Father's Day for crying out loud," he chuckles.

"I kinda wish I was pregnant right now, though, you know?"

"Yeah," Marshall nods. "Wait. Are you being serious, or is that just the jealousy talking?"

"I don't know. Maybe a little bit of jealousy. I don't know," she answers. "I mean, Marvin is two. If we are going to have a second baby, now would be the time."

"Do you really mean that?"

"Yeah. I think do. Let's have another baby."

"Yes. Let's have another baby."

* * *

_11/6/14_

_Well readers, it's week 25. Sleeping is starting to get more and more uncomfortable, as is sitting around all day. She is even the size of a head of cauliflower. That is crazy to think about._

_The day finally came this week for my four friends to gather at my husband and my apartment for our day of empathy. Turns out it worked pretty well. My husband had a whole day off, and they all agreed that this isn't as easy as it looks. The girls were both sore by the end of the day._

_While we they were there, one of my husband's friends got him to agree to let the friend pick the middle name of our daughter. My husband had picked this friend's child's middle name a few years back, and the friend thought that we should return him the favor. I agreed. Maybe I should be a little worried about it, but he is not only a really good friend, but a judge as well, so I doubt that he will pick anything stupid._

 

 


	35. The Breakdown

"Okay that's it," Barney declares while sliding into the booth. "I officially can't take it anymore."

"What are you doing here and can't take what?" Ted asks.

"I need to get away and not having sex. I can't take it anymore!" Barney exclaims. "I just need it badly. So badly. Which one of these chicks looks easy?"

"Barney!" Marshall exclaims. "You don't want to do this. You've already made it four months. You are already halfway there, buddy. And you know you could never cheat on Robin and that you don't really want to either."

"I know. I just don't know how much longer I can take this. This is the longest I've ever gone without sex in my _life_ ," Barney complains. "I know this doesn't make sense to you guys, you never had to do this."

"Barney, you don't remember when Marvin was born do you?"

"No," Barney sneers, wrinkling his nose at the thought.

"Lily and I didn't have sex for months," Marshall adds.

"And right now, sex is the last thing on Tracy's mind. It's been almost two months for me too buddy," Ted interjects.

"Yes, but you are a little more used to dry spells, Ted."

"Doesn't mean it's still not hard."

"You bet it's hard," Barney chortles. Marshall and Ted roll their eyes.

"Did you maybe think about talking to Robin about this?" Marshall questions.

"Hell no! The last thing she needs is to hear about my problems," Barney scoffs.

"Barney," Marshall says softly, "I think you should talk to her about this. After all, maybe she is going through the exact same thing. I mean it is the two of you. If anyone is going to understand what you are feeling, it is going to be her."

"I don't know-" Barney trails off.

"I'm gonna have to agree with Marshall on this one," Ted interjects. "I would guess that she is having the same feelings and just doesn't want to tell you about them because she is afraid of your reaction."

"But she wants what's best for the baby," Barney argues.

"And so do you Barney," Ted says. "And that isn't stopping you from feeling this way. I bet you that Robin feels it too."

"Damn it, you're right. I gotta go talk to her," he says, running out of the bar.

"Good luck." Marshall and Ted ring out in chorus.

* * *

 "Robin!" Barney shouts, running in the door. "Robin!"

"What? Geeze, Barney, did you run here from work?" Robin responds, unhappy about how he just burst in.

"No. I need to talk to you," he answers.

"Alright." She is skeptical, because the last few times told her this, what he needed to talk about was really not that important. She remembers though, it works out best if she takes the things he says seriously.

"I didn't come straight here from work. I went to the bar first," he admits. He doesn't know how he is going to tell her this. He feels like complete crap about it.

"You went to the bar?" she interrogates.

"Yes," he sighs.

"Why?"

"It is going to sound bad," he concedes.

"How?"

"Don't get too pissed."

"I won't," she promises. She is starting to worry now.

"I was horny," he surrenders.

"So…" she exhales sharply, "you went to the bar to hook up with someone."

"No, it's not like-" he tries to argue.

"That's what it sounds like," she argues bitterly, cutting him off mid-sentence.

He drops his head. That is exactly what it was. He doesn't know why he bothers to deny it. He knows that she can see right through him.

"Ok. It does," he admits. "I'm sorry. You know I never could, I could never cheat on you, but I am so frustrated right now. I was worried about coming to talk to you about it, because I didn't want to stress you out, but I talked to the guys and they told me I need to come talk to you."

She is upset. She has every right to be upset, to yell at him, to throw him out. She should be screaming at him right now, but for some reason she is not. She turns to look at him, still sitting cross-legged on her left, waiting for his penance, but even with tears filling her eyes, she doesn't look angry. She looks upset.

"You can't deal with not having sex for a few months?" she chokes out.

"It's not that Robin." He pauses, trying to think of what to say to make this right. "I miss us being close. I feel like I am giving up so much for this."

"You think you are giving up a lot? I hate this," she begins to rant. "I'm not sure if I can give up my life like this for someone. I feel insignificant. You can get up go to work, and occasionally hang out with the guys. I'm stuck here. Yes, Tracy or Lily will visit, but when they do, they seem distant, like they are handling me with kid gloves. Sometimes you're distant too."

He gets it, he has been somewhat distant, now that he thinks about it.

She pauses, before continuing with a tinge of sadness. "We used to joke and now we're all serious. It's like it's only about the baby anymore. And it IS about the baby a lot of the time. Nothing seems to be about us anymore. I mean you couldn't even talk to me about this." She brings her voice down to an almost whisper. "It bothers me that you felt like you couldn't talk to me about this. I know we aren't the biggest sharers, but we need to be there for each other right now." She sighs. She is one hundred percent right. They aren't the biggest of sharers and things really have been about the baby lately. He hasn't done anything just for her in a while.

"It isn't helping for you to be hiding things from me because you think it is going to stress me out. Not knowing if you are hiding things from me is stressing me out just as much, if not more." More tears start to threaten to spill out. "I feel like everyone is walking on eggshells around me and I hate it. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!" she shouts. "I want you all to treat me like me. I want you to keep making inappropriate jokes because it makes you you and frankly I miss you." She starts to calm before making a realization. "Just because we are becoming parents doesn't mean we suddenly need to turn into Lily and Marshall. That's never been us and you know it. And it doesn't need to be us either. We need to be ourselves and it needs to start right now." He doesn't want to be Lily and Marshall either. Really, the idea is preposterous. Yes, they do have to change as parents, but not that much. They shouldn't give up R-train and B-Nasty. Ok. They should probably give that up, but not Barnman and Robin.

"Robin, I didn't know. I'm sorry," he responds as apologetically as he can. He doesn't think that he can even respond to the emotional flood that just came out of her.

"I know. I know you didn't mean it. I just think you're looking at me like you think that my world just revolves around the baby. It doesn't. I don't want it to be just about the baby," She complains. "As far as sex goes, I've been going crazy. I am _literally_ bursting at the seams. There are some days I feel like I could orgasm just from blowing you." He really had no idea. He had no idea that she missed it that much too. He guesses that he really hasn't been as attentive as he should be. But he should have seen it. He should have known. They really can be stubborn.

"It's hard." He can't help but bust out laughing. "No pun intended there. It makes me so sad because I miss you. I can't do it either. But the sad part is we missed a lot of bonding time because we didn't talk about it until now. We would feel a lot better about it if we could have talked about it. I've been feeling bad about it because you made it seem like you were strong all this time." And he thought that she was the strong one.

"I feel like crap because here you are, the strong one caring about the baby, and I couldn't hold it together to not want to have sex for three months to ensure her survival. And then it would make me think about how bad of a mother I am going to be and how I am always going to want to put my life first over hers, even though I can't. It's never going to be about me anymore. It's always going to be about her now." He can get how she feels, but it is ridiculous. She is going to be an amazing mom.

"I'm not sure that I can do that. Isn't that what being a good mom is? It means giving up your life for the child. And how am I supposed to know how to do that? It's not like either one of my parents ever put me first, and neither did your parents." That comment makes him think about how horrible her childhood must have been.

"But now, I know that it's not just me. I'm not crazy. It is hard for you, too. It just would have made some of these last few months easier to know that. I can't blame you though, I guess. I can see why you wouldn't want to tell me. It would make you feel vulnerable, but guess what. We can feel vulnerable together. Believe me." She starts to rant again. He can tell that she is completely stressed. "I hate that we can't have sex. I do. I want it so bad right now. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I should have. From now on, we really do need to tell each other how we are feeling, especially when she comes along, or we are going to have issues. Think about what Marshall and Lily were like. I know it's hard, but it's what's best for her, and we have to remember that now. We have to stop being lone wolves."

"Talk about information overload there Scherbatsky," he lightly teases. "You done now?"

"Yeah, I think," she sighs. "Sorry. I didn't mean to go on like that."

"You have every right to go on like that," Barney stresses. "You're right. We do need to talk about things more. I am sorry I have been treating you this way. I didn't even realize it. I feel like such a jerk now," he says, now depressed at their interaction. He really does feel like a jerk.

"No Barney, that's not it at all. You haven't been a jerk." It feels good to hear her say that, but he still feels like he could have treated her better. "You have been here for me like crazy. _Everything_ that you have done for me has been wonderful and you have no idea how much I appreciate it," she stresses. "The week you were gone was _horrible_. I needed you here so much. Do you know how many times I cried that week?" she asks rhetorically. "Like 500, I swear. You know I don't cry."

"I know. You leak awesome," he teases.

"Right," she giggles and rolls her eyes, still wiping away tears in the process. He always knows what to say to cheer her up. "I think I was upset the entire time you were gone, because Lily didn't do something right, or Ted left a light on, or because I just missed you. I missed you so much."

"I missed you too. I'm so sorry. I really didn't mean to hurt you. I just was scared to worry you. I just miss having sex with you."

"God," she moans. "You know I miss it. It's us," she trails off, and he can see a great thought formulating in her brain, just by looking at the way her eyes twinkle. "Just think of it this way. When we get to have sex again after she is born, it is going to be amazing."

She is right. It is not only going to be amazing, it is going to be amazing, redonkulous, and legendary all rolled into one. It is going to be a long night when it finally happens.

"The guys joked that we could go right through her crying," he chortles, because even though he was pissed when they originally said it, he has to admit, it is true.

Robin laughs. "Yeah. We probably could."

"I guess we need to talk more, huh?" he states.

"Yeah. We do. We can't not talk when we have a baby. We have to know how the other is feeling," she affirms.

"Yeah. We do,"he agrees. "If we don't we are just going to drive each other away. I feel like I did already, and she isn't even here yet."

"Yeah." She pauses. "Barney?"

"Hmmmmm?"

"I love you so much," she declares, turning to look him in the eyes.

"I love you too, Robin. I don't know what I was thinking. _You_ are worth it. She is worth it."

"Yes. She really is."

* * *

  _11/13/14_

_It was a pretty boring week except for two important things. One, as of Tuesday, I am officially in the third trimester. I can't believe it. I am already having the trouble sleeping, the backaches and the headaches. It just means that this is soon over. Sometimes, it seems as though my pregnancy is going slow, and at other times it seems as though it is flying by._

_Two, my husband and I had a long talk on Tuesday. We finally discussed how we communicate. For the many years that we have known each other, we haven't been the best of communicators. Tuesday was our breaking point, where even our significantly improved, but still horrible communication skills came to a head._

_ The weekend of our wedding, we compared ourselves to two lone wolves. For so many years, we were used to working on our own. Even after being married for a year and a half, we still find communicating difficult. We realized that once she is born, we have to communicate. We have to tell each other how we are feeling and not just what we think the other wants to hear. We have to tell each other everything. It is going to be hard work to learn to communicate, but we are going to try as hard as we can. _


	36. Run ins

"Robin?"

What a week it had been for Robin. She is growing more uncomfortable by the day. Since she isn't allowed to get out of bed for more than twenty minutes a day, any walking that she does is more like hobbling. Getting to the doctor anymore is a chore. Normally, Barney spends the morning with her when she has her doctor appointments, but today, Barney is stuck at work. Fortunately, she had Ranjit to help her get in the car, but finally getting up to the shared doctor's office was a chore. She really wants to curse whatever foreign agency had Barney tied up at work.

Now, as she waits for her blood work, her stomach is tied in knots. Hearing her name is not something she wants to deal with right now. She doesn't want to see anyone she knows today, or any crazy WWN fan. She wants to get the blood work done and go home. She wants her normal doctor appointment and lunch with Barney. She ducks her head and pretends she doesn't hear.

"Robin?"

She hears it again, but this time she recognizes the voice and alarm bells start going off in her head. Oh crap. It really could not be worse. Kevin. This is horrible. She doesn't need this today. Here she is, six months pregnant and very obviously pregnant, running into the man she broke up with because she never wanted children. Well, that was the excuse that she used at the time. Their breakup was partially about children, but not entirely. She knew it was never going to work out. It was always going to be Barney. Now that she thinks about it, she was looking for a way out of the relationship, so really, she isn't sure what she's worried about. Why did Barney have to be working today? She thanks the higher powers that at least her purse and coat are in front of her stomach, and they hide the bump just a bit. Maybe she can make it through this encounter without him ever figuring out that she is pregnant.

"Robin? Hey," he says one more time, before sitting down next to her.

"Hi," she says awkwardly, looking at him for the first time in three years.

"How are you?" he asks, patiently waiting for her reply. It sort of creeps her out, the way he is looking at her, like he still loves her.

"Good," she answers shortly. She doesn't want to give him any ideas. "You?"

"Ok, although I just got a lot better."

"That's great Kevin," she responds coldly. The longer this conversation is going on, the more she feels like something is going to go terribly wrong.

"I can't believe I ran into you today."

"Yep, me neither."

"I know. It is so wonderful. I've been thinking about you a lot lately." She can't help but feel like he is hitting on her. "I've always hated myself for wanting kids more than you, and for breaking up with you. You mean the world to me." She wonders what it is with guys that want her so much. She just got Ted off of her back. She really doesn't want anyone going after her again, especially now. At least Ted saw the whole marriage thing coming. "I was wondering if maybe you want to go grab a cup of coffee with me."

"I'm kinda waiting for a blood test."

"Yeah, of course. Maybe afterwards?"

"I'm sorry Kevin, I can't," she answers, very short in her tone of voice.

"I get it. It's a Friday. You have to get back to work. Some other time then?"

"No. Kevin, that's not it. I'm married," she announces, pulling her left hand up to show him.

"Oh. I guess I shouldn't have assumed that some guy wouldn't scoop you up in three years. I'm glad that you found someone who didn't want kids," he retorts. "I would have looked past it."

Suddenly, Robin winces in pain and tries to catch her breath. Kevin can hear her breathing heavy, but there is no way to explain to him what just happened.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah. It's ok. That's been happening lately," she brushes off. "Not a big deal." It took her a while to get used to the idea of getting kicked in the lungs from the inside, but then again, this is her child. She's a mini Night Falcon, so it makes complete sense that there would be some acrobatics and sharp kicks in there.

"It didn't seem like you were ok."

"Did you ever have that feeling like suddenly you couldn't breathe because you got hit, or you fell?"

"Yeah."

"That's all it was," she tries to explain.

"But you are just sitting here. What could have happened?" She figures at this point, there is no point in hiding it. He is going to find out when she leaves anyway.

"I got kicked in the rib," she admits.

His eyes grow wide with her admission, as he figures out just what that means. "You're pregnant?"

"Yeah." A moment of uncomfortable silence passes between them.

"So you lied to me?" he grills.

"No," she says with as much confidence as she can muster, because she didn't. She didn't lie to him. She didn't know she could have a baby. "I didn't lie. I wasn't supposed to be able to have a baby."

"Why am I supposed to believe that, Robin?" he interrogates, starting to raise his voice and make a scene. She wishes that she could just run away right now, but even so, there would be no fast get away. Why did Barney have to be at work today? "You even said you didn't want kids. Was that a lie too?"

"No," she sighs quietly, and lowers her voice to take the attention off of them. "I didn't want kids. I'm still not sure I am going to be a good mom."

He turns to her with that admission, and he can see the hurt, regret, and fear in her eyes. He can see that she didn't lie. "Wow. I don't know what to say."

"I'm sorry," she starts, knowing that what she is about to say is not going to be easy for him to hear, "but chances are it never would have worked out between us."

"Why?"

"Because my husband is my soul mate. I never realized what that was like to be with the person that just gets you, until my husband and I got together. He means the world to me. I took what you said to heart. I was scared of letting myself be happy. When he proposed I knew I wasn't scared, and I knew that I wanted myself to be happy. I said yes instantly. It wasn't like with you. There was no thinking. I knew I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life."

"Wow," he mumbles. "I had no idea."

"You'll find the right girl," she reassures. "If Ted could find the perfect woman, then so can you."

"So, Ted's married?"

"Yeah. She's great. Really his other half. As much of a female version of him as you can get. Although, sometimes I think he needs a male other half," she jokes.

"Yeah, that was Ted," he chuckles in agreement. "Can I confess something?"

"Hmmm?" Robin turns to him, not knowing what to expect.

"We probably never should have dated," he admits. "You were vulnerable. You were in love with one of your best friends. I should have seen it coming. It probably would have been better for the both of us if I would have let you break up with me that night at the hospital." She whips her head to look at him with wide eyes. She isn't sure that he really means what he is saying.

"You knew?" she questions, still shaking at the revelation.

"Yes, I know you cheated on me with Barney. I could tell things were awkward between the two of you that night, and let's face it, Barney is pretty terrible at lying. I wasn't positive that anything happened until I found out later that night that he broke up with Nora."

"Why did you tell me that you loved me that night?"

"Because I thought it was what you needed to hear, and I was selfish. I wanted you for myself. I thought that you needed to let Barney be. I really didn't care that you cheated on me; that is how much I wanted to be with you. I regret screwing things up between the two of you, but I guess you don't care that much now. You found your soul mate, and you're having a baby with him." She never thought that he would have cared so much. She did need to hear those words that night, it just wasn't him that she needed them from. He came clean about all of this, so she should give him the same respect.

"Since we are admitting stuff, I need to tell you something too. I thought that I got pregnant that night. It's how I found out I couldn't have children. The doctor ran some tests when I was there for my pregnancy test, and that's how they figured it out. I was too scared to tell anyone, but your proposal forced me to. Now that I look back on it, it was probably one of the best things that could have happened to me." Somehow, telling him about it makes her feel a million times lighter.

"Robin, I'm glad that you can say that," he smiles at her. "I guess what happened was meant to happen."

"Yeah, I guess so," she smiles in reply, finally feeling free for the first time in years.

"Robin Stinson?" a nurse calls from across the room.

"I've got to go," she says, as she uses her arms to awkwardly push herself up off of the chair.

"You're married to Barney?" he asks, recognizing the name.

"Yeah."

"I can't say I'm surprised," he chortles, with a genuine smile spread across his face. "Congrats Robin."

"Thanks. I'm glad I ran into you."

"Yeah. Me too."

* * *

 "Hey!"

"You made it home for lunch!" Robin exclaims as Barney enters the bedroom. She had made it home from her doctor appointment about a half an hour earlier.

"Yeah," he answers happily. "I got out of my meeting early." He hated that he had to stay at work. This was the first doctor appointment he missed in the entire pregnancy.

"I am so glad to see you," she beams at him. It was a rough day, and she is ecstatic to see him. He is so glad she isn't upset with him. He wasn't sure when he left this morning what her reaction would be at the end of the day.

"I'm glad to see you too. So what is the weird food of the day?" he teases her.

"I was really hungry for a sandwich from the deli, but I can't actually eat anything there because of the meat, so pickles, potato chips and ice cream it is," she mumbles.

"Not the healthiest thing you've eaten, but at least it isn't _that_ disgusting."

"Hey!" she argues.

"Well, you do have some strange cravings. Your pregnancy appetite is just as strange and varied as your sexual appetite."

She giggles. "You know it." They immediately high five each other over their heads.

"How did the doctor appointment go?" he asks, stealing the ice cream container away from her. "I'm really sorry I couldn't be there."

"The appointment was good, the after part wasn't. She told me that I could go to Lily and Marshall's for Thanksgiving, as long as I stay off my feet when I'm there."

"That's awesome! It's been so long since we've been there. It seem so odd not to go there anymore. But everything else is ok?"

"Yep. Everything looks normal, and my blood levels from last week were normal."

"Great. What was with afterwards then?" Barney questions. "It sounds to me like everything is good."

"Well, I was sitting in the lab, waiting for the blood test when Kevin came in."

"Kevin?" Kevin. He hates Kevin. He tries his hardest not to look upset that she saw that asshole, and to listen to what really happened instead. He knows he doesn't have anything to worry about. He got Robin in the end. She accepted his proposal, not Kevin's.

"Yeah," she mumbles, sensing Barney's frustration with the name, although she can't say she blames him. "Kevin."

"What happened?" he asks, because he has to know. It's torturous, but he can't imagine what that guy might have done.

"He asked me out for coffee. He wanted to get back together," Robin admits.

"Please tell me you told him no," he groans.

"I actually tried to ignore him at first, but he was persistent. But yes, I told him no."

"How did he not see that you're pregnant?"

"I had my coat in front of me," she answers. "I told him I was married. I didn't want to tell him about the baby, but while I was talking to him she did that thing where she kicks me in the lungs and I can't breathe. He kept insisting that I wasn't ok so I had to tell him."

"Well, that must have been awkward." It doesn't seem like what he should say, but he really doesn't know how to respond.

"Yep. Super awkward. I thought about getting up to run away, but that is laughable at this point," she says, pointing at her stomach. "He got upset because he thought I lied to him. I had to go into a whole story telling him how much I love you."

"Great. I hope he ran away then," Barney says sarcastically.

"No he didn't. He actually apologized for not letting me break up with him that night." That night? As in the night they cheated? That means he must have known they cheated, Barney realizes.

"He knew?"

"Yeah. He knew. He knew the whole time." It seems weird that Kevin knew the whole time that he dated Robin that they cheated. He still hung around with him. He was still friendly with him. He could never do that to someone that Robin would cheat on him with. Never. He could barely stand the guy at the time, just because he was dating Robin.

"Did he know you were almost-?"

"No. I told him though." He nods in understanding.

"How did he take it? That you're married to me and pregnant, I mean."

"Pretty well I think. They called me before we got to finish talking, which I am kinda glad about. I hadn't even told him I was married to you before they called me. He figured it out from the name." Serves him right, Barney thinks. What a surprise that must have been. "But he told he was happy for us." Maybe he isn't such a bad guy after all. Maybe he does really care about Robin.

"I'm really sorry I wasn't there today and you had to deal with that," Barney says.

"It's fine. Really. It was awkward at first, but I'm glad it happened." He is a little confused why she is glad it happened, but he wants to hear. "It made me realize that it isn't that I didn't want kids, it's that I never wanted kids because I hadn't met someone that made me want them. I want kids with you. That's what made me so upset that fall. That was our baby, and this is our baby. She is part of both of us, and there isn't anyone that I would want to share that part of with besides you. The idea that we made her because we love each other means much more to me than I ever thought it could." If that was her realization from running into Kevin, he thinks it ok, because he feels the same way.

"I feel the same way. I would have been excited to have a baby, despite what I used to say about not becoming a father, but it means a whole lot more to me that it's your baby than it would have with some random woman. I love you."

"I love you too." 

* * *

  _11/20/14_

_On Friday, my husband wasn't able to join me at my weekly doctor appointment, and of course, being out alone for the first time since August, something not so great happened. I ran into my ex fiancé. He was one of a few people that knew about my infertility. It was one of the major reasons of our breakup. So needless to say, running into him looking like a cow at twenty-seven weeks pregnant was not my idea of a fun time._

_It was awkward to see him at first, and I really had no interest in talking to him at the time, but now, I am glad I did. It made me realize how much I love my husband, and how much we are meant to be together. As you know if you've been following this from the beginning, I always said that I never wanted kids. Today though, talking to my ex, I realized something. Yes, I have always been terrified of being a mother, but it's not that I never wanted kids. Up to that point in my life, I just hadn't met someone that I wanted to have kids with. A part of me always wanted to have kids with my husband, even when we first met. It is amazing how your attitudes can shift once you've met the person that changes it all._

_ On a good note, I can go to Thanksgiving dinner next week at our friends' house! I can't wait to get out of the house! It will be a great day! _


	37. Thanksgiving or Slapsgiving?

"I can't find anything to wear. Why can't I find anything to wear?" Robin shouts from the closet.

"Because you are panicking," Barney answers calmly. "You don't have a reason to panic. We are just going to Lily and Marshall's. It's like every other Thanksgiving ever. We go, we hang out, we eat, we watch some football."

"We eat Jell-O shots on occasion and you get slapped," she continues.

"Yes, thank god the slapbet is over."

"Our wedding day was not my favorite idea of how to end it, but it is good it is finally over," she says. "Now what should I wear? I don't know what to wear?"

"Something comfortable."

"But I want to wear something nice!" she whines. "It's been so long since I've been out of the house for anything other than a doctor appointment.

"Then wear something nice," Barney moans. "But you will look amazing in whatever you wear. You always do. Just wear something that shows off Brianna and you'll be the highlight of the party."

"Really?"

"Yes. How many times do I have to tell you the bump is sexy as hell?"

"Come on. It can't be that good."

"It is," he stresses. "Now we've got to go. I don't want to be late."

"It's 23 minutes to their apartment, why do we need to leave so early?" she questions.

"Because it takes you ten minutes to get to the car," he complains. "No offense, but she's slowing you down. You're not the nimble laser tag partner you once were."

She stares at him in anger. Did he really just call her fat?

"It's nothing against you," he tries to back out of. "You literally don't walk anymore. You aren't used to walking. You are going to be slow." She continues to give him the evilest of glances. "Look, what really matters right now is that we are leaving the apartment and going out to Marshall and Lily's, so let's get a move on."

"Fine," she murmurs with a huff, grabbing a black cotton maxi dress. "I guess I'll wear this."

 

* * *

 

"Marvin! Uncle Barney and Aunt Robin are here!" Lily shouts from the kitchen.

"YAY!" Marvin exclaims, tearing out of his room in an effort to hug them as hard as possible.

"Careful Marvin," Marshall explains. "Auntie Robin needs to sit down before you hug her. The baby needs to sit."

"Kay daddy. Uncle Wobin are you sitting now?"

"Uncle Robin?" she asks Marvin, trying not to giggle at his nickname. He has instantly cheered her up. "Why am I uncle Robin?"

"Because I don't want to step on you. Ants are little things you step on. I don't want to kill you when I step on you."

"Come here Marvin," she tells him, pulling him into her lap from where he is sitting next to her on the couch. "There is something you should know."

"What's dat?"

"I'm a different kind of aunt. You can't step on me and kill me," Robin explains. "I promise."

"So I can call you auntie again?"

"Yes Marvin," she giggles.

"Yay!" he shouts as he runs to his bedroom.

"Sorry about that Robin. I tried to explain it to him earlier," Lily apologizes, stepping out of the kitchen.

"It's ok Lily. I think he got it," she laughs. "Is there anything I can do to help from the couch?"

"Not really," Lily answers. "Just stay away from Marshall's gouda this time. I don't know if it's pasteurized or not."

"Thanks for the heads up."

 

* * *

 

It had been one of her favorite American Thanksgivings so far. Lily's food was amazing as always, and for once in her pregnancy, she was actually starving when it was time for dinner. But so far, being back in the old apartment has been the best part if the day. Getting to sit somewhere else that isn't the fortress or the doctor's office is amazing. Barney spent the day so far playing with Marvin, and she can't help but be excited about how much he is going to awesome up parenthood. The entire day had been amazing, until they sat down for the scrumptious baked goods.

"Teddy Westside is definitely going to have a boy!" Barney declares with his challenge accepted tone. Robin can't help but roll her eyes. That tone is almost never a good thing.

"Uhh, I don't know Barney. I have a feeling it's a girl," Marshall challenges.

Robin can't help but think that the last time Marshall and Barney talked like this, it ended in the slap bet.

"Wanna bet?" Barney ensues.

"Of course," Marshall agrees.

"Ten thousand dollars."

Robin rolls her eyes. Leave it to his gambling problem to bet way too much, too fast.

"I don't have that kind of money."

"Fifteen thousand!" Barney continues, ignoring everyone else for the sake of the challenge. Robin knows she has to shut this down now.

"Barney," she demands. "You are not betting any more than one hundred on this. Are we clear?"

"Fine. One hundred!" He declares.

"No," he pauses for dramatic effect. "Two slaps."

Everyone in the room gasps at once. As much as Robin hates the slapbet because she hates seeing him hurt, she almost thinks Barney deserves it today. It's what he gets for implying she's fat.

Ted and Tracy stare at each other. Tracy knows about the slap bet, but she never witnessed it, because Marshall used all his slaps by the time that she joined the group. She is ecstatic about it coming back.

"Deal!" Barney wholeheartedly agrees, shaking Marshall's hand across the table. Robin and Lily can't help but roll their eyes. Lily really thought this was all over.

"Well, lucky for you, it's going to be a very happy Slapsgiving for one of you," Ted announces.

Barney and Marshall both grin evilly, highly anticipating what Ted is going to say next.

"I call slap bet commissioner!" Tracy shouts eagerly, interrupting the warring men.

"Thank god," Lily groans. "You can have it. I'm retired." Tracy grins happily.

"Barney, Marshall, as the new slap bet commissioner," Tracy announces in the best neutral party voice she can pull off. "I believe that you have placed a two slap wager on the sex of the baby in my uterus. Is that correct?"

"Yes," Barney and Marshall concur simultaneously.

"Will this be two immediate slaps or two at the winners choosing?"

"Choosing," Barney says.

"Choosing," Marshall agrees.

"Alright. Then with no further ado," Tracy announces, "please shake hands and prepare for Slapsgiving 4!"

"Wait you know?" Barney screeches.

"Yep. We were going to tell you after dessert, but this is much more fun!" Ted giggles.

"I'm gonna slap you so hard," Barney spits at Marshall.

"I'm gonna slap YOU so hard," Marshall spats back.

"Can I ask you two to go behind the couch with your trash talk? I don't want to ruin my wedding china by Barney falling on the table," Lily chides.

"Hey!" Robin interjects. "How do you know it's not going to be Marshall getting slapped?"

"Cause it's a girl, I just know it's a girl," Lily insists.

"Just to be clear, no one really knows, Tracy adds. "I didn't tell anyone. Did you Ted?"

"Nope."

"Ok boys. Get up and move," Lily demands. "I gotsta know."

"Alright Marshall," Barney trash talks yet again. "Prepare for my hand on your face."

Tracy starts, "And it's..." before she's interrupted by Ted.

"Marshall, slap him!" He shouts.

Whack!

As soon as Marshall's hand connects with Barney face, Robin feels Brianna jump. She doesn't know what caused her to jump, the connection to her father, or the loud sound wave that reverberated through the room. Regardless, it is a new feeling for robin to feel her move that much.

"Damn it!" Barney screams, holding his face.

"One slap remaining!" Tracy announces.

"And I'm back!" Marshall shouts. "And you're having a girl!" he changes tones and coos. "We have another girl!"

"You totally knew!" Barney accuses.

"I did not. I swear," Marshall says. "I didn't know that they knew either!" "You have to watch what you bet on Barney," Robin reminds him. "We've been over this."

"You thought it was funny," he accuses.

"Of course. She didn't though," Robin shares, pointing at her stomach. I wish you could have felt her jump."

"Awwww! She jumped?" Lily squeals. "Isn't that so adorable!" She reaches a hand towards Robin's stomach.

"Hands off the bump Lily," Robin growls. "I'm not in the mood."

"Sorry, sorry. Happy Slapsgiving everyone!"

"Happy Slapsgiving!" Everyone cheers except Barney, who has climbed on the couch next to Robin, still nursing his cheek and ego.

"Now for a verse of our favorite Slapsgiving day ditty!"

* * *

  _11/28/14_

_Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I hope everyone had a great day yesterday. I know I did. I got the opportunity to leave the fortress that I've been stuck in for months now, and head to my friends for the holiday. It was amazing! After eating way too much of my friend's amazing gourmet cooking and baking, we reincarnated a tradition in our little family. It's called Slapsgiving._

_It started eight years ago over a disagreement about my past. My husband, who was just a friend at the time, and another friend made a bet about whatever it was they were having a disagreement about. It wasn't your average bet though. It was a slap bet._

_In a slap bet, whoever wins gets to slap the loser in the face. It doesn't sound like much, but what started out as a simple one-slap bet, turned into an eight slap bet, that dragged out over six years, the concluding slap being on our wedding day._

_The friend enjoyed torturing him with the idea that he could slap him at any moment. One such occasion was one year on Thanksgiving. He told him months ahead of time that he would be slapping him in a certain number of days. It fell on Thanksgiving. The slap almost didn't occur that day, but it eventually did, and a tradition began. We had one other true Slapsgiving, but we've always referred to Thanksgiving as Slapsgiving since._

_This matters, because yesterday, a new slapbet began. The two were arguing over the sex of a mutual friend's baby. They decided to bet on it, not expecting anything to happen, but our friends decided to share their news with us that night. Surprise, surprise, my husband lost yet again. He at least only has one slap still hanging over his head this time._

_Really, I'm glad he lost, because our friends are having a girl! Our baby girl will have an instant playmate for life! Happy Slapsgiving Day everyone, and watch out for all those flying hands!_

 

 


	38. A Miracle on 79th Street

"Get out."

"What?" Barney asks, confused as could be. He had been sitting in the bedroom with her for over an hour, reading the paper and making an occasional comment about it. And it wasn't like his usual comments. It was nice and polite things, like current events and the weather. There is nothing he could have done or said to piss her off. "Get out?"

"You heard me. Get out."

"Huh?"

"GET OUT!" she screams.

"What did I do?"

"Just leave me alone!"

"Alright. I'm going."

As he somberly walks out to the living room, he wonders what that was all about. He considers going back to ask her about it, but he is afraid of flying footwear, even if it is just slippers. Plus, he doesn't want her to get up to retrieve said footwear after said flying incident occurs. Whatever it is, she doesn't want to talk about it, and for the sake of the baby, it's best for her to be calms, so he really doesn't want to push his luck. He hasn't seen Robin that mad since before they found out about Brianna.

He flings himself on the couch, just wondering what he did wrong this time. It seems like this entire week she has been extremely moody. Extremely doesn't even cut it. Everything is pissing her off, and at this point, he is afraid it is going to ruin his plan. His grand plan.

It's not like some of the others where he's had to lie. It's no proposal, no rehearsal dinner, no second wedding. It's just a simple thing where he calls his interior design guy. But now he's worried that even this simple gesture to cheer her up will actually stress her out even more, and that is the last thing he wants for her.

He doesn't know what to do. He can't help. He's stuck out here by himself for now. He wants to go back in there, and apologize for whatever he's done that got him kicked out, but that is impossible. She must have kicked him out for a reason.

* * *

 Today has just sucked. His voice is just irritating her today. Truth is, he did nothing wrong, but something he was doing bothered her. He wasn't even being his usual irritating self. He was just sitting reading the newspaper, making cute comments. Not even cute comments. Just comments. Just run of the mill Ted comments. Just talking about current events. She doesn't know why it pissed her off so much, but it did.

She is getting the feeling that something is going on, and right now, she is not in the mood at all for any of Barney's surprises. Not even the good ones. She just wants to take a nap, not go to the doctor's in an hour like she's supposed to. She slept like crap, her backache keeping her up all night. Then they ran out of bread, so she couldn't have her usual breakfast of toast and scrambled eggs. A little later, her computer cord dropped out of the computer, causing her computer to run out of battery, losing her entire research for the day. On top of it, it just happens to be the three year anniversary of that horrible doctor appointment. She knows it shouldn't bother her so much, because she is pregnant, but for some reason, it really does. Maybe it's the idea that that specific doctor appointment caused her to be stuck in this situation.

So by the time Barney came home for lunch, she was on her last nerve and the verge of a breakdown. Now, she just feels horrible for kicking him out when he did absolutely nothing wrong other than take the afternoon off of work to go to the doctor with her, which isn't even wrong. It is actually is incredible that he does that for her every week. Just being there for her is even more amazing than any of the surprises he's planned for her over the years.

And now she's crying. Damn it, the hormones. She doesn't know why she is so stupid. She just wants to go to sleep, to put this day behind her. To forget about it all for a while. Why does the doctor appointment need to be today?

Her problem is what to do now. She probably angered him now, so she doesn't know if she can just ask for forgiveness. But how would she anyway? She really shouldn't get up to go apologize, she really should stay in bed, but she has no idea how to fix this otherwise. She makes her choice, figuring she has to walk out there in a few minutes, why not get ready to go to the doctor and ask for forgiveness at the same time.

She cautiously walks out to the living room, and she pauses when she sees him. He seems like nothing is wrong, like he's swept it under the rug and forgotten about it. He is carelessly surfing the web on his phone, shoes kicked off, and legs propped up on the couch.

"Hey," she murmurs, still incredibly upset from earlier.

He isn't expecting to see her at all, so he is a bit startled by her presence. He was so into getting everything ready for the surprise later that he hadn't even heard her walk out to the living room.

"What are you doing up?" He kicks his feet to the ground, giving her room to sit down. He quickly pockets his phone, so she can't see what he's been up to.

"I came out to apologize. I'm sorry," she admits, sitting down on the couch next to him. "I shouldn't have kicked you out. It's just been a bad day, and I just feel all over the place today."

"Maybe you should ask the doctor," he suggests.

"No. It's just hormones. It sucks," she says, shrugging her shoulders, "but there is nothing I can do about it. I shouldn't have reacted like that, and I'm sorry."

"It's ok. I figured it wasn't about me. I love you. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you."

"I know," she says. "I just am not in a good mood today. I just want to go to bed. I'm not really in the mood for anything other than going to sleep." He can only think that he is screwed at this point. Operation winter wonderland will not go over well right now, but really, he doesn't have a choice. He knows it will make her happy, even if it doesn't seem to be the right day. But he really can't wait for her to be in a good mood. He has to do it while they are at the doctor. "And for some reason, I just feel like you are up to something, and I don't like it."

She's really on to him, he thinks.

"Are you ready for the doctor's?" he asks, still trying to decide if he should follow through with the plan.

"Yeah, as ready as I am going to be." Frankly, he's never been quite so nervous as he is today. Almost as if something bad is going to happen.

* * *

 All through the doctor appointment, and through the entire ride home, he's been nervous. Nervous that this is the surprise that she isn't going to like. And it's a more gentle situation this time, since stress can really harm her and the baby. It's not like when making her angry could be a part of the plan, like the rehearsal dinner. He just has to let her discover it on her own.

He can't wait to see it himself. He had been talking with the guy for a week now. They should have put up the tree and the other wall decorations, and leaving the tree decorating for him to do, so that she can tell him how to do it from her throne on the bed.

Their first Christmas together, they had gotten the tree together, and he even had an ornament made from one of their wedding pictures, but it was something they did together. Ok. She did a lot of the work, but he helped. He knew that this year, it would be impossible to decorate like they did last year, because he really had no idea what she did. He wanted to cheer her up for the holidays, to make it more like normal. So he figured that it would be best to get most of the work taken care of, and let the fun things for them.

He can tell that she is more than ready to get home and take a nap, and really, that's ok. It's not like she needs to do anything when they get there. She can appreciate it after she's slept.

He anxiously awaits her reaction to the wreath on the door throughout the whole ride on the elevator. He can see the surprise on her face when they turn towards the door.

"When did you put the wreath on the door?" she questions, almost positive it wasn't there on her way out.

"A day or two ago," he shrugs.

"Really? You decorated for Christmas? I had to do most of the work last year," she accuses. "I'm calling bullshit."

"I'm serious."

"Yeah. I guess we aren't having a tree this year either are we?" she sighs.

"No. I will put one up. In the bedroom too. I don't know when, though," he says with a straight face as he opens the door to the living room, and frankly he is amazed. They did an even better job than he could have thought, and he hasn't even seen the bedroom.

As she follows him in, she sees just how different the apartment looks, and what exactly he has been hiding from her all day. She knows that she said that she wasn't in the mood for a surprise, but this is pretty amazing. She starts to cry, feeling that roller-coaster of emotions from earlier come back to bite her.

"When did you-?" she chokes out, unable to finish her sentence. She is as overwhelmed as she was three years ago when Ted decorated for her.

"I called a guy to come while we were at the doctor. Do you like it?"

Just like three years ago, she can't do anything other than cry and nod while he pulls her into a hug, although this time, the tears are tears of joy.

"Let's get you back to bed, Scherbatsky."

She just lets him guide her back to the bedroom, where even more tears fall, because the bedroom is even more beautiful. They even left the ornaments for them to put on the tree. She can't believe it.

"Early Merry Christmas. I hope you like it," he whispers sweetly in her ear.

"I love it. Don't be offended if all I want to do is sleep right now."

"No offense taken. Let's take a nap."

* * *

_12/4/14_

_One thing I didn't consider when I started my stint on bed rest is that life would be dramatically different. It doesn't seem like it would be that different, but it is. It became even more noticeable this week. Christmas may have been everywhere for you for a while now, but for me, I didn't remember it was close. It did feel to me that something was missing, but I didn't know what it was until after this week's doctor appointment._

_While we were gone, my husband had our entire apartment decorated. The only thing they didn't do was decorate the tree, so that we could continue our tradition and do that together. It wasn't the sweetest thing he's ever done for me, as he's given me a lot of amazing surprises over our time together, including a Canadian themed rehearsal dinner, and an on the beach vow renewal, but it was sweet and perfect in it's own way._

_ To top it off, I had been having a horrible day. I really do owe so much to him. He does so much for me, and I don't know what I would do without him. I've never had a tree in my bedroom before, but waking up to a Christmas tree is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. _


	39. Do We Need That?

When Barney gets to work on Monday morning, he is exhausted. Even though he managed to surprise Robin last week with the Christmas decorations, she had still been moody. Not to mention that all the time she wakes up in the middle of the night wake him up too. He's ready for another stressful day at work, until he figures out that it's a national holiday in North Korea, and pretty much all of his trading for the day has been shut down. Sure, there are a couple of contracts to edit, but they might take him an hour at the most.

So he thinks of something he can do to help Robin feel less stressed. He remembers hearing her complain to Tracy and Lily about the baby registry on Thanksgiving, which is when he realizes, that he can go on and help complete them for her today. He doesn't even consider that it is something that she could potentially get upset about.

He searches the We-B-Babies website, adding all the cute clothing, and all of expensive gadgets he can find. Wipe warmers, check! Bottle sterilizer, check! City friendly stroller, check! Tons of cute clothes, check! He doesn't bother with one of those fancy baby monitors, as he is going to have one hard wired in, to match the rest of the cameras already in the apartment.

He does his research on all of it though. He adds the best stroller out there, the one he knows Robin's had her eye on for a while. But he gets why she's been overwhelmed. There is so much out there for babies. He never would have known, after all, she is going to be like 10 pounds. How much stuff does a baby really need? He can't wait to get home to share with her that he did it all for her. He can't wait to make her happy for once.

* * *

 "So I think the registry is done!" Barney exclaims as he joins Robin in the bedroom later that afternoon.

"How would it be done? I didn't finish it," she replies.

"It was a slow day at work," he admits.

"Really," she bemoans sarcastically.

"Yeah, some Korean holiday. It was nice and quiet."

"Oh dear," she mutters under her breath. This can't be a good thing. He's gone and screwed it up.

"I can't wait to show you all the awesome stuff I added."

"Oh no," she mutters again. "How much did you add?"

"Not a lot," he smirks, and that means exactly the opposite. It means he added a lot. She already hated this stupid registry thing to start out with. Babies are tiny, shouldn't it be simple. A crib and a stroller is really all you should need. It seems like it is all just stuff, stuff, stuff. Buy this, buy that, your baby will be stupid if you don't buy our product. She doesn't buy into it. She doesn't buy into it one bit.

"On both of them?" she asks, cringing at the thought.

"Wait, there is more than one?" He questions. He had no idea there was more than one. Maybe he needs to pay a little more attention to these things.

"Yeah there are three. Which one were you on?" she groans. At least he only messed up one.

"We B Babies."

"Guuuuh," she moans. That wasn't what she wanted to hear. That's the biggest one. The others only have a few specialty items, but that one, that just isn't good.

"There was so much to add!" he exclaims, excited. "I hope you like everything!"

"Barney. I know this is one of those moments that you were trying to be helpful, but uhhh…" And here it goes, he thinks. He's screwed up again. It feels like he just keeps screwing up.

"But what?"

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I can't help but think that you screwed it up, and now I have to fix it."

"But the cool stuff!" He doesn't want to admit he's wrong, but he probably screwed up here.

"No Barney," she sighs, "you need to take me seriously here. You can't just go on and pick out stuff. We need to work as a team. Besides, you tend to go way overboard with these things." He gets what she is saying. He probably did go overboard, but she isn't letting him help. She isn't playing as a part of the team.

"I can't work as a team when you won't let me help," he retorts. She didn't even think about him not feeling included. She's just had so much time to work on getting stuff together for the baby, she didn't even consider that he might feel left out. "I get to have a part too, you know. She's my baby too. Why can't I pick out some things?"

"Damn it. I'm sorry. I just have so much time to work on it, I never even thought that you didn't feel included," she apologizes.

"It's ok. I shouldn't have gone on without you either," he reluctantly admits, "though I did learn a lot about strollers today."

"And?" she asks.

"You picked a good one."

"I know," she grumbles. "It's one of the most portable and durable ones around." He doesn't know how to respond, so he doesn't add anything to the conversation.

"Can we do something?" he asks.

"What?"

"Can we work on it together?" he suggests. "I have a free night tonight since work was slow."

"That doesn't seem like a bad idea," she considers. "Can you get the computer?"

"Yeah." He climbs from his position on the bed to get the computer from her side. It's in her reach, but he doesn't mind. He owes her.

* * *

 They spend the next few hours combing through the registry, arguing over certain items and instantly agreeing over others.

"Ok. So like here. Do we really need a bottle drying rack that looks like grass?" she inquires.

"It's cute. Besides, we need something. Got any bright ideas?" he retorts.

"Why can't we just dry them on the counter?" she questions.

"Do you really want bottles all over the place?" he asks.

"We don't need that many bottles. I'm breast feeding," she replies. "We need maybe eight at most."

"God that is going to be hot!"

"Seriously? Seriously? She is going to be eating. You don't get to sexualize her eating."

"Come on!"

"No. NO! Feeding is not sexy. Feeding is dinner."

He stopped listening a few words ago, completely distracted and in awe with the item in front of him.

"Is this a high chair?"

"Yeah. Do you like it?"

He doesn't know what to say. Like it doesn't cover it. Love it doesn't cover it. He thought the crib was perfect. This is beyond perfect.

"Like it? It's like a pilot seat for a baby!"

Pilot seat is the perfect way to describe the perfect high chair. It has an oval seat, silver seat, with two shoulder straps, like a pilot seat would. It is raised off the ground by one pneumatic pole, and the tray sits in the front with a dark chrome tray. It almost exactly matches the pilot seat sitting in the living room.

"Oooo! Maybe sometime you should feed me in the pilot seat!" he exclaims.

"Or," she corrects, "maybe you can sit in the pilot seat, and feed Bri in her pilot seat."

"So that means we can get it?" he asks excitedly, jumping up and down on the bed like a child. Sometimes she wonders if she doesn't already have a child.

"Yes, Barney," she groans. "I wouldn't have showed it to you if I didn't like it."

"Yes!" he shouts.

* * *

 

A few hours later, they are both passed out, the computer still sitting on the bed beside them. They are curled up around each other, exhausted from staring at the screen and bantering about what Brianna really needs, and what they need for her. But all in all, it had been a great night, since they finally finished the registries.

* * *

  _12/11/14_

_Thirty weeks. I am at the thirty week mark. I still can't believe that in ten weeks or less, I will be a mom. It's a very scary thought. Even scarier is what we still need to be ready for her arrival. The furniture should be here within the week, although I am still waiting for my husband to get the room ready._

_This week, we spent a lot of time working on the baby registry. I have been stressing out about it for a while, so my husband, trying to be sweet, took it upon himself to finish it without me. I was upset, because he added a bunch of things we didn't need, but I explained to him that this is something we should do together. Turns out, he was feeling left out of the process. So, we worked on it together, and I am so glad we did. Our baby will certainly have the most unique nursery in the city. Between the Star Wars ship mobile, the Canadian animal prints, the grey walls, and the pink and frilly accents, it will definitely not look like your average nursery. Then again, we aren't your average parents, and it is an expression of both of us._

_The closer I get to my due date in February, the more anxious I become, because I am very likely to deliver early. And although I am ready to get out of this bed, I hope that she stays there as long as possible._


	40. A Wrong Turn

The stress of Christmas sitting in bed is starting to get to Robin. The stress of Christmas period. Christmas was always stressful for Robin, but being stuck in bed makes it a million times worse. She can shop online, but wrapping is out the window. Sending out the cards is a chore. There is so much to do, and she can't even get most of it accomplished without someone's help. And she can't do most of what relieves her holiday stress. She can't go outside and enjoy snowy the weather, she can't drink her normal eggnog, even without the alcohol, and she can't have sex.

Barney can sense that she is stressed, and he is too. It's been difficult getting everything ready up to her level for Christmas without her. Plus, the two year anniversary of their engagement is coming up. What can one possibly do for their on-bed rest pregnant wife that he doesn't already do? They can't go out on a date. He could bring dinner to them again, but it's not really what he wants to do this time. He knows it will just stress her out this time. It won't help her unwind at all.

* * *

 "I'm so glad that everything is ok with Bri, not that I was expecting there to be anything wrong, but still. I'm relieved every week that we get a good report," Robin sighs, as they travel back home from her doctor appointment in the back of the town car.

"Me too. It's amazing how big she is on the ultrasound now," Barney responds.

"I know," she agrees. "Wait," she interjects, starting to panic, "we missed the turn. Ranjit, you missed the turn," she shouts to the front.

"Didn't miss the turn," Ranjit replies.

"Barney," she groans and turns to Barney, perfecting her disappointed mom look. He managed to reroute the car without her knowing. Of course.

"What?" he rebuts innocently.

"Where are we going?" she interrogates. "I don't like this anymore. I thought we had a deal about no more surprises," she scolds.

"And if I remember correctly, I said I would only surprise you to make you happy."

"Well, it's kinda hard to make me happy right now," she retorts.

"Oh, I'm gonna make you happy."

"Barney, where the hell are we going?" she asks, demanding answers.

"You forgot what day it is didn't you?" he accuses teasingly. She wasn't expecting that. It's a special day?

"It's Wednesday," she replies. He's a bit disappointed that she doesn't remember what happened two years ago today, but at the same time, he knows it's the combination of not being out in the real world, and pregnancy brain.

"Not what I meant."

"What did you mean?" she questions.

"What's the date?"

"I have no idea."

"It's December 17th, Robin." He sees her features contort in frustration as she realizes that she forgot the anniversary of their engagement.

"OH MY GOD," she apologizes. "I'm so sorry, I completely lost track of the date, Barney. I didn't really forget about it, I just didn't realize it was that late in December."

"It's ok, Robin," Barney reassures her. "But the point is, today is about celebrating."

"But Barney-"

"No buts, Robin," he insists. "I've approved everything with the doctor. She didn't have a problem with anything I have planned."

"Really?" she turns to him, unable to keep the stupid grin from taking over her face. "You did that? For me?"

"I've noticed how depressed you've been," he explains. "And I know I've been surprising you a lot lately, but I can't help it. I would have told you, but I was afraid you wouldn't come to this one."

"What's the plan?"

"I have an appointment for a couple's massage for both of us at the spa, and then dinner reservations at the Russian Tea Room."

"And Dr. Black approved dinner?" she asks, surprised.

"Yes. Your massage is a specialized pregnancy massage," he explains. "They focus on all of the spots that are typically sore from pregnancy. I remembered how much you used to love Korean massages, so I thought that maybe you would love one." She's moved. It sounds incredible.

"Thank you. I can't wait now. Just to be able to truly relax is going to be so wonderful."

* * *

 As she slips on the oversized robe, the only one that will fit around her and Brianna, she can't help but think how amazing this is. She hasn't been to a spa in months. She can't help but think back to their honeymoon, where they had a couple's massage, and then ended up sneaking out the back of the spa for a bang in the jungle. Even though that won't be happening this time, the massage will still be amazing.

She's whisked into a room, where Barney is already waiting for her. Sure, it's not as much whisking as her trying to hurriedly waddle behind, but still, she's eager to see Barney, already laying on the table an grinning at her like an idiot. The smell of the essential oils finally overtakes her nose, and for the first time in months, she feels comfortable, relaxed, and not at all nauseous for the first time in months.

She lays on her side as instructed, facing Barney, and she really can't help to grin from ear to ear. It's the first time she's felt truly intimate with Barney since they found out about Brianna.

And this, this is heaven. It's not quite like sex, but it's pretty damn close. She can feel the tension and pain flowing out of her limbs.

"God, Scherbatsky. I haven't heard those noises out of you in months," he teases quietly from the other side of the room.

"Shut up," she groans jokingly. "I'm trying to relax here."

"Point taken." His seductive comment doesn't throw her over the edge. It actually relaxes her more. This man she married, this baby she's having, it makes her realize just how lucky she is.

She's lulled into an almost comatose slumber by the time the massage is over, that she almost doesn't hear Barney say that there is more to do at the spa.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Huh?" she murmurs.

"It's time for the manicures and pedicures," Barney informs.

"Wait-did you say manis and pedis?"

"Well, yeah," he says obviously.

"Really? That was ok with the doctor?"

"Yeah, as long as it isn't a frequent thing, and there aren't too many fumes, which there aren't. I checked."

She thought the grin on her face couldn't get any wider. Turns out she was wrong. This is all exactly what she needed this week.

* * *

_12/18/14_

_This week marks thirty one weeks, and the number of weeks left is now officially in the single digits. I think I am ready for this parenting thing now. And I know that even if I'm not, my husband is more than ready._

_This week was the second anniversary of our engagement. He could tell that I'd been feeling down and frustrated about the stresses of Christmas, so he planned an entire spa getaway, doctor approved of course, and surprised me with it right after my weekly doctor appointment._

_ It worked. I feel amazing, and I am much more relaxed. The massage got rid of aches and pains I never knew I had. And I now am ready to tackle my last Christmas with just my husband. _


	41. Christmas Dreams

"Mornin' babe."

"Mmmm," she mumbles while she stretches herself out on the bed.

"Merry Christmas!"

"Thanks. Merry Christmas to you too," she says groggily, leaning up to kiss him.

"Are you ready for presents?"

"Barney, I just woke up. I'm not ready at all," she groans, still not quite ready to be up. "Plus, I'm really hungry. I'd rather Eat breakfast first. What is for breakfast by the way?"

"Come on Scherbatsky. It's Christmas. Would we have anything else other than pancakes and maple syrup?"

"No," she replies, grinning like a three year old. "You're the best. Are they ready?"

"Of course."

"Well, what are you waiting for? Go get me some."

* * *

 "I can't wait to give you your present," Barney declares excitedly as they finish their breakfast in bed.

"Oooh! It better not be anything big," she chastises.

"Um, of course not," he responds slowly, rolling his eyes as he pulls out a small jewelry box.

"Barney!" she moans. "I thought we said no extravagant presents this year. Jewelry counts as an extravagant present."

"Nah-ah-ah," he mutters. "This is something I wanted you to have and would have bought you anyway. It just happens that Christmas was a good time to give it to you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You'll see," he says with a wink. "Open it, open it, open it!"

"Ok, Calm down," she says. She opens the box slowly to reveal a platinum necklace. It's a simple chain with diamond, ruby, and amethyst pendant. the small diamonds form a heart which contain the larger amethyst and even larger ruby.

"Oh my god," she mutters.

"Do you like it?"

"Barney...is it..." she stammers. "It's our birthstones isn't it?"

"It is. Yours, the ruby, is bigger, and hers, the amethyst, is smaller. But they're both beautiful, like mother like daughter."

"But she's not even born yet. How do you know she's beautiful?"

"Because she's your daughter," he answers. "And come on, she's my daughter too," he scoffs. "Like we could make anything but a beautiful baby. "

"Good point, but you forgot something."

"What's that?"

"What if she's early? It's pretty likely that I'm not going to make it all the way to my due date."

"Then we get it switched," he says with a shrug. "It's not that big of a deal."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'm sure," he answers before she jumps on him to give him a hug. "Ooooo!" he exclaims excitedly, remembering the best part. "Turn it over!" Robin flips over the pendent, and reads the minuscule writing the back of the heart. She can't help but let one of tears that had been threatening to spill over leak out of her eye, because right in front of her is Brianna.

"You got it engraved," she smiles through her tears. "This is amazing."

"Just don't let anyone see if you want to keep her name a secret."

"I know," she admits. "I'm going to feel bad not showing Lily and Tracy though."

"Yes, but you know Lily and her secrets."

Robin chuckles at the thought. "Yeah, you're right. And you are right, I love it. Sorry your gifts aren't going to compare."

"That's ok Scherbatsky, this," he says rubbing her bump, "is the best gift in the world."

* * *

 A couple of ties, some baby clothes and other various gifts later, they finish with a sigh of relief and stare at the tree. It is Robin that breaks them out of their Christmas wonderment.

"Barney?"

"Yeah?"

"What's that one back there?" she questions.

"What one?"

"That present," she says, pointing to the tree.

"What present?"

"The one setting behind the tree."

"There is one behind the tree?" Barney asks confused.

"Don't play stupid with me, Barney," she scolds.

"What?" he whines. "I'm not playing stupid. I promise. You unwrapped all of my gifts."

"Really? You unwrapped all of mine too."

"And there is still a present back there?" he asks.

"Yes," she groans. "Now can you go get it?"

He gets up off the bed and saunters over to the tree. He looks around and finds the hidden gift, almost hidden underneath the tree skirt.

"What is it?" Barney asks.

"I don't know," she replies. "Do you know?"

"No. I really have no idea where it came from," he answers. "Who is it to?"

"Me," Robin answers, looking over the package thoroughly. "That's strange. No tag either."

"So open it," Barney suggests.

"Ok." She slowly opens the elegantly wrapped gift, taking time not to tear the paper, or rip the ribbon bow. Once she's through the elegantly wrapped paper, she finds a caramel colored teddy bear with a pink ribbon around the neck, and a pink cashmere blanket. She also finds a small hand-written note. She reads it quickly, and the tears start to fall.

"What is it?" he asks, curious of what moved her so much.

"It's from my dad," she sobs.

Barney is shocked to say the least. Robin Sr., the man who raised the incredible woman who is his wife as a boy, just gave her a teddy bear and pink blanket for his granddaughter. He's accepting his granddaughter. As a girl. Not as the lesser sex to a boy, but as an actual girl.

"What does it say?" he asks.

She reads, all while choking up, "Robin, congratulations on your baby girl. I hope you can love her no matter what, unlike I did. I can't wait to meet her. Sincerely, Your father."

"I can't believe it," Barney mutters, pulling her into a hug. "How do you feel?"

"I don't know," she murmurs. "I don't know whether I should be sad for myself, or happy for her."

"I think you should be happy for the both of you. Yes, your childhood sucked, but it made you who you are, the woman I love, and we wouldn't be here without that. And she," he says, putting his hand on the bump once again while still keeping the other arm around her, "is going to have her grandfather in her life."

"How do you always know what I need to hear?"

"Because it's part of a thing I used to call feelings sickness."

She laughs at that, shaking her head about his old ways. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"So, this is our last Christmas just the two of us," she ponders.

"Yeah. It is. Can you imagine that next year, not only will she be here, but she will probably be crawling all over the place, and taking the ornaments off of the tree and trying to chew on them," he chuckles.

"God we are going to have our hands full aren't we?" she laughs.

"Depends on how much of me she has in her," he boasts proudly.

"Good point. The more of you, the more likely she is to be trouble."

"Hey!" he whines, offended by the implication. "Even so, it's going to be really different."

"Yeah, it is. Really different."

* * *

_12/26/14_

_Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all of the readers and viewers of World Wide News! I hope you all had a great holiday season!_

_My husband and I had the joy of celebrating our last Christmas alone together yesterday. It was a very sweet day, and even though we spent the day just the two of us, with our friends being off with their own extended families, I wouldn't change a thing._

_There was a tie this year for my favorite gift. My first favorite gift of the year was a necklace from my husband. It is a heart, with both mine and the baby's birthstone in the center. My other favorite gift was a teddy bear and a pink blanket from my dad. I know that he was really disappointed that she wouldn't be a grandson, but the gift shows that he has really changed, and that means more to me than you could possibly imagine._

_Again, Merry Christmas to all of my readers! I hope you had a wonderful holiday!_

 


	42. New Year's Eve

"So you remember last New Year's Eve?" Barney says lustfully the day before New Year's Eve. "You and me in Times Square?"

"I was working," she groans, still somewhat annoyed over the whole thing. Why she agreed to let Barney come along that night, she'll never know. It was their first year as a married couple, and he had his heart set on seeing Miley Cyrus making a fool of herself, so she agreed to let him tag along at her report, as long as he didn't do anything foolish. It turned out that neither of them made a fool out of themselves, which she was quite thankful for.

"We kissed at midnight and then snuck into the bathroom at the studio and had our first bang of the New Year."

"Ok. You're right," she admits. "That part was pretty amazing."

"Of course it was!" he says excitedly before his voice takes on a more melancholy tone. "This year is not going to be nearly as fun."

"Come on now. If you look at it that way it won't be," she tries to comfort him.

"Come on. How can it be anything like our past New Year's Eves?" She had already thought of a way to make the night memorable, even though it was a requirement to stay at home.

"I'll let you solve that puzzle on your own," she hints.

Barney spends about thirty seconds thinking about what she could be saying before he figures it out. In the moment of realization he ends up emitting a large gasp. "Really? We are going to open Puzzles here?"

"Only if there are only 4 drinking guests," she reminds him.

"Ok, not quite as much fun."

"You get to be bartender," she adds.

"Yes!" he exclaims like a three year old. She loves it when he gets this excited about things. "I'll go get the signs ready!"

He leaves her alone to ponder her thoughts. This year isn't just going to be like the fresh starts she's wanted in the past. This is going to be a completely different start. This year, they are going to become parents. There is a part if her that wants to turn around and go right back to being just the two of them like last New Year's Eve. Banging in a bathroom after a night on the town? That certainly won't be happening anymore. But then again, that would involve giving up Brianna and at this point, there is no way she could imagine doing that. She resolves to stop worrying about it, pulling out the computer to start getting things ordered for the party.

As Barney searches around for the Puzzles sign he knows he put in storage, he can't help but think about how things are going to change in 2015. He is going to become a dad. A dad. To a baby. They are going to become Marshall and Lily and do lame parent stuff like fall asleep before midnight. Ok maybe not that bad, but there certainly won't be any following Robin to Time Square with a little girl in tow. He'll be at home with the baby. He questions to himself, should he really be left alone with a baby? Yes, he's been alone with his niece and nephews, but that's different. He was always going to give them back. He won't be able to walk away from this girl when he screws up. He won't be able to have someone correct the mistakes he's made. She's going to be there no matter what.

He tries to stop thinking about it and works on getting everything ready for the party. 

* * *

 Both of them had been in their own little world since that day, not wanting to share their silent worry on what the New Year means to them. When December 31st finally arrives, it is time for them to face the truths head on.

"What time is the gang coming over?" Robin asks a fidgeting Barney.

"I thought around 8. Why?"

"Just curious."

"You're worried that things aren't ready," he asks.

"A little," she admits.

"I've got it under control," he says somewhat unconvincingly. "I have all the food you ordered and I went to the liquor store for the champagne. I also got the non-alcoholic stuff for you and Tracy and the place is all decorated," he says, proud of his accomplishments.

"You sure?" she questions again.

"Yes. Stop worrying."

"Sorry. It's just we've had so many memorable New Year's Eves before, I just want it to be legendary," she admits.

"Don't worry about it Scherbatsky. It will be just fine. I've got this all under control." And he does. He isn't just saying that to make her feel better. He really has everything ready. He is just waiting on the guests. He's actually quite proud of himself for pulling it off. He's ready to walk out the door of the bedroom to finish up some things when she stops him.

"Hey Barney?" she calls out behind him. He can tell by the tone of her voice that it's something serious.

"Yeah?"

"Can I talk to you about something?"

"What's that?"

"I'm not really nervous about the party," she admits. 'I'm nervous about what 2015 really means."

"You mean that she is going to be here soon, that we are going to be parents, and you are worried that we are going to screw her up?" he rattles off quickly, because once he opens the flood gate of emotions, it's almost impossible to stop.

"Yeah," she chuckles, because he couldn't have been more on the money playing his favorite casino game. "Pretty much. How did you know?"

"It's the same thing that's been on my mind all week."

"We're not really going to screw her up. I know we aren't. It's just a lot to think about. How our lives are going to change, you know?"

"I know. Our lives are going to change," he replies. "But at least we have people around us who do know what they are doing. They aren't going to let us screw her up."

"Very true."

"We've always got them. Just like we do tonight. Plus, she isn't going to slow us down that much, because she's got that awesome-legendary gene in there" he says, rubbing her stomach.

"Very true. Thanks Barney," she sighs. "I needed to hear that."

"Thank you to you too. I needed to hear that myself," he openly admits. "Now, I have to go keep getting ready, unless you don't want everything to be done by the time everyone gets here."

"No. Go."

"Just call me if you need anything."

* * *

 It's only a few minutes later when the Eriksons arrive.

"Uncle Bawney!" Marvin shouts as soon as he gets in the door.

"Hey Little man! How you doing kiddo?" Barney greets him,, throwing him high up in the air.

"I'm gweat! Whewe's auntie Wobin?"

"Back in the bedroom!"

"Kay!" Marvin shouts, running off in the direction of the bedroom.

"Hey! Happy new year!" Lily greets.

"Happy New Year to you guys too! What are you guys doing here so early? I thought we said 8."

"We did, but Marvin was ready to go," Marshall explains, "and Lily thought it would be a good idea to come over here and see if you needed any help."

"I think I've actually got it covered," he says proudly, admiring his work.

"This is a Puzzles themed party?" Lily asks, surprised by the throwback.

"Yes ma'am! As head bartender, can I pour you some champagne?" He asks.

"Uh, sure," she says unsurely, eyeing Marshall.

"Great! Marshall?" Barney continues, not skipping a beat.

"Yeah sure. I can have one for now," he says, know he needs to pace himself tonight.

"Why for now?" Barney questions skeptically.

"I...uh... have to make sure we get home safe." Barney can see right through that lie. For a judge, Marshall is really a horrible liar. 

* * *

 "Hi, Auntie Wobin!" Marvin exclaims while running in the bedroom. "You sitting wight? I can jump on you?"

"Yes, Marvin," she chuckles. His enthusiasm is just so cute sometimes. "Just don't jump really hard on the baby."

"Ok!" he shouts, as he leaps onto her, trying to avoid her stomach.

She cherishes these moments these where she is alone with Marvin. It calms her down. It makes her forget about being stuck in bed for a while. But most of all, it reminds her that she can do this. She can be a mom. She can care for a child and not screw him up. Except for that time that she left Mike Tyson hold him, but that was a different time back then. She has no reason to do anything like that anymore. She can take care of him all by herself.

"I'm going to stay up weally late tonight!" he shares

"Yes, you are Marvin. Do you know what today is called?"

"New Yeaw's Eve?"

"That's right Marvin."

"What's that mean Auntie Wobin?"

"It means the night before the new year," she explains, grinning ear to ear. He just keeps getting cuter and cuter by the second.

"What's the new yeaw?"

"It's a new time for us. It's when we start over our time."

"So we stawt ova life?"

"Not quite Marvin. It's just an expression. When we change the calendar. Sometimes new good things happen, like new babies."

"You mean like youw baby? And Auntie Tracy's baby and Mommy's baby?"

"Just like my baby and Tracy's baby. You're mommy's baby."

"But what if thewe was anothew baby?"

"There is. She's in here. Do you want to feel her? She's kicking." He nods his head, and she can't help but wonder what he was talking about when he said mommy's baby. He must be confused about how it all works. After all, he is only two. She takes his hands and put them on her stomach at the last place she felt Brianna kick. He kicks him really hard, and he tries to pull away.

"She's weally stwong Auntie Wobin."

"Yes, she is Marvin."

"Can I hold her soon?"

"Soon. Sometime next year."

"Next yeaw, but that's so faw away."

"The new year starts tomorrow. She will be here really soon," she promises.

"Ok."

"Is Marvin in here with you Robin?" Lily shouts, peaking her head in the door.

"I's hewe Mommy," he answers.

"Oh good," Lily says, breathing a sigh of relief. There are just too many places for a child to get lost in the fortress.

"Marvin and I were just hanging out."

"We was talking about new yeaws."

"That's great honey," Lily says. "Ooo! Can I take a picture?" she asks.

"Sure."

"Say cheese!" she shouts, right before taking the picture. "You two look really cute together!" she exclaims, admiring the picture on her phone. "Marvin, I think Uncle Ted and Aunt Tracy just got here."

"Weally?"

"Yes, really, why don't you go say hi?"

"Okay mommy!"

"Remember, watch the baby!" she shouts to him as he's already halfway out the door.

"I will!"

"Are you ready to come out and join us?" She turns to ask Robin once the room is quiet. "Barney asked me to come see if you are ready."

"Almost," she says, adjusting herself on the bed. "I don't quite have to pee yet, so I thought that I should wait a bit so I can do both at once."

"Probably a good idea," Lily agrees, deciding to settle in beside her. "How have you been feeling the past couple of days?"

"Alright," she sighs. "It's just with the new year, that it's starting to hit close to home that she'll be here soon. I'm just getting really nervous now."

"That happens."

"It does?"

"Yeah," Lily answers. "I was so worried. I had no idea what it was going to be like. I had never been around an infant before. I knew I wanted to be a mom, but I was so terrified of screwing up. You have a one up on me. You were at least around Marvin. I had nothing. It's part of the reason I sent Marshall to Atlantic City with Barney right before he was born."

"I can promise that I will not be sending Barney away with Marshall anytime soon," Robin says adamantly.

"Good. I don't really want to be holding your hand through labor." Robin looks at Lily, somewhat offended, but she gets it. She wants Barney by her side. "Anyway, my point is that it's a natural feeling to be apprehensive about her arrival. It's also normal to have hard days sometimes. It's not all rainbows and unicorns like everyone makes it out to be. But it's worth it, because you love them. There is nothing you wouldn't do for them. Take what you feel for Barney and multiply it by a hundred. That's how you're going to feel about her. I know you, and I know you are going to be a great mom, so don't think of today as leaving behind the good life, because you are leaving to start an even more amazing journey. And I know it won't be quite the life you saw for yourself, but I promise you that it will be worth it."

"Thanks Lil," Robin says, smiling. "I really needed that."

"I know. Sometimes my stories are like waterfalls; they just keep running and gushing-"

"And now I have to pee," Robin announces, as she pushes herself out of bed.

"Knew that would work," Lily mutters to herself, once Robin is out of earshot. 

* * *

 "Dude! You got out the puzzles banner?" Ted exclaims.

"Yes I did. I thought if we were going to throw a party, we should do it right!" Barney declares.

Robin clears her throat as she waddles into the living room, before saying, "and whose idea was that again?"

"Uhhh..." Barney trails off.

"Well, I think it's cute," Tracy announces.

"Did they ever tell you about the two different times they started puzzles?" Robin asks. She knows that Tracy's heard a lot of stories, but she has a feeling that this one might be new.

"No."

"Well..." Barney starts, anxious to tell her about the legendary nights.

* * *

 The story telling went on for hours, the reminiscing about the old days, large blizzards, party school bingo, an escaped from Time Square Sandy Rivers, and not Moby and the miraculous story of the five parties. It was somewhere around the three days of snow story and the marching band at the airport that Lily tucked Marvin in for bed in a sleeping bag in Robin and Barney's bedroom.

Before they knew it, it was almost time to ring in the New Year.

"Guys, we have something to say," Marshall announces.

"It's almost midnight, can it wait?" Ted asks.

"No," Marshall replies.

"But we're at less than thirty seconds," Tracy adds.

"We really want to tell you before the New Year," Lily insists.

"Is it really that big of a deal?" Robin questions.

"Yes."

"But midnight-" Barney whines.

Ten, nine, eight...

"We're having another baby!"

Seven, six, five, four...

"Oh my god!"

Three, two, one, happy new year!

* * *

  _1/2/15_

_Happy New Year to the readers of this blog and to all the viewers of WWN. New Years is a day that I always associate with work. Four years ago, I started my first day as a research assistant two days after the New Year. My first on air appearance was on New Year's Eve a year later. I don't know how many of you viewers remember that year. Frankly, I hope many of you don't. But it was in doing that broadcast that I came to an enlightening conclusion. New Years is a time for a fresh start. A time for new and better things to happen to us. A time to look forward with hope. I never thought that I would find something more to celebrate than my engagement two years ago, or my marriage last year, but it turns out, I do. I'm ready for a fresh start. A fresh start of expectations. A fresh start on life. A fresh start for my family. 2015 is going to be the year of babies for my little group. We will be ringing in 2016 with three new lives. It's going to be different, but it's going to be amazing._

 

 


	43. A Delivery

"Mrs. Stinson?" Robin hears from the doorman as she answers the phone one afternoon. "There is a freight delivery here for you. Is it ok for me to send them up?"

"Sure," she answers. She is excited, because unless Barney's got a surprise for her, there isn't anything that could be coming besides the nursery furniture. "Can you come up with them?" she asks. She's not sure how she feels about having the delivery men in the apartment alone with her.

"Absolutely Mrs. Stinson."

* * *

 "Ummm.. hey?" Barney utters as he enters the apartment that evening. He's confused, because there is something different about it all. Not only is she in the living room, which is unusual, she's in a piece of furniture that he doesn't recognize.

"Hey!" exclaims Robin gleefully, from her seat in the new glider and ottoman for Brianna's room.

"How? Why?" he asks, curious as to why she didn't tell him earlier.

"The delivery men were here this afternoon. I asked the doorman to come up with them. The rest of the stuff is in boxes in the suit room. I had them let this out here for now."

"Oh," he murmurs. It's all pretty reasonable. "What did we have planned for tonight?" He asks her.

"Nothing. Why?" A big smile covers his face.

"I think I've got some redecorating to do."

"Are you saying-" she asks before he cuts her off.

"Let's go set up her room."

* * *

 "Barney? Where am I going to sit?" Robin asks, looking around at the now half empty suit room/nursery.

"Oh crap," he mutters. "I didn't think that far ahead. Uh…give me a second." He darts out of the room, turning towards the living room. Robin can't help but wonder what his solution is going to be. She feels incredibly sorry when she sees him turn the corner, struggling with the small glider.

"How's that?" He asks.

"Awesome. You didn't have to though."

"Gotta move it in here anyway. Might as well do it now so you're comfortable," he says with a shrug of his shoulders, like it wasn't a big deal that he just carried fifty pounds back the hallway. "Ooo!" he shouts with an outburst. "Hang on! I've got to go get the ottoman still!" He energetically runs back out of the room. Robin can't help but chuckle, cause he's just so excited. It takes him less than a minute with the lighter piece of furniture.

"So what do we have to do?" he asks, looking around the room as he puts the ottoman down at her feet.

"First things first, we have to empty this out," she says while gesturing around the room. "What are you going to do with the suits?"

"I don't know," he mumbles. "I think I can get about half of them in our closet now, things will just be tight."

"What about the other half?"

"I was considering getting someone in here to somehow fit them in the space that is the porn shelves." He hopes she likes the idea. He hadn't gotten rid of the shelves when they moved in.

"That's good," she reasons, "because that was one of the things we were going to have to get rid of anyway because of baby proofing."

"We have to baby proof?" he asks, offended that she wants to get rid of it. His poor fortress is going to be overtaken by all things baby.

"Of course we have to baby proof," she groans, not enjoying his attitude. They both have to make sacrifices here, and he isn't doing as good of a job in keeping up his end of the bargain.

"What does that even mean?" he asks flippantly.

"Come on. You know from Marshall and Lily. You should have read the books. The locks on the doors, covers on the outlet, latches on the cabinets deal," she says while he rearranges suits on the racks.

"Do you think we could put one of the racks in our bedroom for now?" he questions, ignoring her previous thoughts, still sorting the suits.

"Yes. Do you think you can get away with one?" she asks, hoping that it isn't a permanent solution. As much as she hates to see the porn shelves go, she knows they could be dangerous if she pulls them down on herself. "The room is already pretty cluttered from me being in there all the time."

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure the rest will fit in the closet."

She watches and surfs the internet on her phone as he carries the suits, a few hangers at a time, and one of the two racks over to their bedroom. She feels bad that she can't help him, but at the same time, he had the last three months to move his suits. He didn't have to wait until the last minute. After 20 minutes, the room is left with the one remaining rack and the boxes from that were delivered earlier in the day.

"I forgot about all that baby proofing stuff," he says, returning to the room for the final time. She can tell he's admitting defeat here. "That's sure going to take away from the look of the Fortress, and the beauty of the Fortress's design." Ok, maybe not enough defeat. She isn't ready for a fight on this. She's just too tired.

"Okay, I have to ask you something, and you need to be honest."

"Yeah?" he's a bit worried about what's going to to come of this. She does not sound happy.

"Is there anything else the apartment does that I don't know about?" she interrogated.

"What do you mean?" he asks, genuinely confused. He thought she liked all the inventions.

"Like the escape hatch and the sprinkler system. Any other Stinson patent pending inventions I should know about?"

"I'm positive that you know all of them." He's skeptical, but she really does know them all. Doesn't she know by now that he shares every part of himself and his life with her. "Why?"

"Because most of them are going to have to go," she announces certainly.

"What? Why?" he whines.

"Because most of them are dangerous?" she says obviously, as if he should know that already. And he should. She sprained her wrist the one time they did use the escape from lame mountain.

"No, you just think they're stupid," he retorts. He doesn't see why things should need to go, just because they are having a baby.

"Uh, no Barney. Think about it," Robin argues, just about ready to storm out. "She's crawling, she slides down the escape lame mountain, and she's in the dumpster."

"Oh," he mutters realizing he is wrong and this really is about making things safe for Brianna. "Oh. I didn't think about that." He sighs. "So we have to get rid of everything?"

"No, not everything," she answers. "Just the stuff that can hurt her."

"Does this mean we have to get rid of the sex lounge too?" he questions. He really doesn't want that to be the case. Yes, he's survived without it for the past five months, but he wants to be able to explore that again.

"Uh, no, because you have the mechanism for that high up," she says unsurely. "We just may want to, uh, put a lock on it or something. For when she's older. We don't want to scar her. She is going to need enough therapy as it is with us for parents." He certainly doesn't want that to happen. They can be good parents.

"I hope not," he shudders. "I want to do this right. Which inventions need to go?" he asks willingly.

"The Escape from Lame Mountain and the sprinkler system are the only inventions that really need to go," she explains. "We also have to secure anything she can pull down on herself, and either get rid of or cover any sharp corners on furniture. Which is a lot of the things in the apartment."

"Oh," he mutters. "Well, that's not that bad," he shrugs. It's not that big of a deal.

"Not that bad?" she shouts. "That is almost a major renovation project!" It clicked in her brain, and she wants to do it, but she knows how much Barney hates it.

"Come on, Robin," he taunts. "I know you want to."

"Ughhh!" she groans. "Major renovation," she salutes.

"It's not going to be major," he says, trying to comfort her, because it's really not a big deal to him. Is he going to miss it? Yes, but he's sure she'll be worth it. "I'll just get someone in here to close up the hole in the floor. And the sprinklers just need rewiring. I can get it done tomorrow if you want. What else do I need to do?"

"That's the only big stuff," she admits. "We can decide about the other stuff later, sword and storm trooper included."

"So you want to put together her crib?" he asks.

"You sure you want to do this?" she asks him. She can't imagine him putting together a crib. "You've never done something like this before."

"Ok. Yeah. Maybe you're right. Maybe we should just have someone do it tomorrow," he acquiesces. "No," he shouts abruptly. "No. I'm going to do this. This is something a dad needs to do. I can put together her crib."

"Alright. I'm going to go pee then," Robin announces.

"Wha- wait!" he whines. "Where are you going?"

"I'm just going to go pee, and come back. Why is it like a tragedy that I'm leaving?"

"Cause I need you to read the directions to make sure I'm doing this right!"

She can see it in his eyes that this all has to do with his childhood. The way his father abandoned him. The way he never learned how to use a screwdriver until he stole the basketball hoop from his dad. He's as insecure as hell about this. He needs her help because he can't let those things make him a bad father. He needs her to make sure he doesn't screw this up and let his child down.

"Barney, I'm going to be gone for three minutes," she explains sweetly and calmly. "Just get everything out of the box and figure out which pieces are which and I'll be back before you know it."

When she waddles back in the room, she finds him surrounded by pieces of wood, as well as various nuts, bolts, and screws, looking extremely confused.

"You okay?" she asks, treading the subject carefully.

"Yeah," he sighs.

"It's okay to say you don't know how to do this," she tells him. "It's completely okay. It's not going to make you any less of a father." He looks at her with wide eyes. He should have known that she could read him so well.

"No," he resigns and motivates himself. "Marshall and Ted can do this kind of stuff. Why can't I? If I can't do this-" She interrupts him mid-rant to motivate him.

"You can do this. I will help. Give me the directions and we can do this together."

"Well that took forever," Barney groans sarcastically.

It took him two hours to put the crib together, which was twice as long as the recommended setup time on the side of the box.

"I don't care," Robin says lovingly.

"Why?" he wonders, because he is stressed and exhausted, and they didn't even get to open the rest of the boxes. Of course she doesn't care; she didn't do any of the heavy lifting. She just read him the directions and made sure he did it all right, which he has to admit, he was gracious for, if nothing else than for the company.

"Because we can do this," she utters happily. "We put her crib together. By ourselves. We can be parents just like Lily and Marshall and Ted and Tracy. Sure, it might take us longer to get it, but we can still do it. Imagine what they are all going to say when they find out we did this by ourselves."

"That's true," he says, his smile starting to match hers. "I just assembled a crib." He gazes fondly at his handiwork.

"It really fits in well here," she sighs, looking at the crib. It's even more perfect for the gray walls now that it's here.

"That's what she said," Barney shouts enthusiastically.

She shakes her head and she can't help but laugh. "I meant the crib."

"I know," he grins at her. "I just couldn't help it."

"Where are we going to put it?" he says, looking towards the crib once again.

"I don't know," she says, "but I don't think you are going to be able to move it by yourself. We can call Marshall and Ted tomorrow."

"I'm going to agree with that," he's done enough today. "Moving the chair was enough. We could open the rest of it and see if any more needs assembly." As an afterthought, he adds with a chuckle, "I hope to god not, though. I might find a guy to put the rest of it together if there is."

* * *

_1/8/15_

_Week thirty-four. I'm officially at week thirty-four. It's hard to imagine that in six or less weeks, I will be a mom._

_We spent the last few nights setting up the baby's room. It took my husband a long time to put the crib together, but he is far from a handyman, so I was quite proud of him, and he did it all by himself. Not too shabby for someone who only learned how to use tools a few years ago. Thankfully, the crib was the only piece that didn't come assembled._

_ For the most part, we have all the furniture set, and now we are starting to decorate. It's not nearly as exciting to decorate a nursery when you aren't supposed to stand, so I've mostly been directing from the new glider and shopping for things online. But if it wasn't real before, seeing her room almost ready to go makes me realizes how close she is to arriving. _


	44. Revenge of the Nannies

"I think we should start looking for a nanny," Robin brings up timidly one night after they finished their Chinese food in bed. Barney returns a strange look to her. He hadn't even considered what it would mean for the both of them to go back to work after she was born. "I mean it's only a few weeks till she's born," she argues, trying to convince him, "and I don't want to wait to go back to work, and with how much trouble Lily and Mar-"

"Sounds like a plan!" Barney announces, cutting her off mid thought.

"Really?" she asks skeptically. "You don't mind if I start looking?"

"No, I don't mind," he says, because he agrees. It wouldn't be a bad idea to get a head start so that they don't have to wait. "I know how much work means to you. I'd rather have you find a nanny now so you don't have to wait to go back."

"Alright. I'll start looking tomorrow."

* * *

 The next day, she starts her search by signing up for the main nanny finder sites on the internet. It takes her about an hour to fill out all the registration forms, as well as profiles on all three sites.

After she's registered, she finds some pretty good choices for nannies, at least twenty that she would consider hiring just on credentials alone. She never knew that nannies had so much experience.

She sends an interest email to each one, plus a couple of others, because she figures that it's better to interview too many, than have to start over again. She lets it go at the twenty six, starts her research work for the day. 

* * *

 Later in the afternoon, after she finishes her work for WWN, she checks her email. She has 26 responses, matching the total number of emails she sent out. She's ecstatic, because she has a response from each one. That is until she starts reading them.

-Sorry, I'm busy.

-I can't work for you.

-I will never work for you.

-No. Why are you back?

-Go to hell.

She doesn't get it. She doesn't get it at all. There is no reason that these people should be like this. Twenty-one responses are like that, all negative. Some of them are downright nasty. She tries to ignore them and respond to the five responses that seemed positive, but it still bothers her. Something doesn't seem right.

She writes to the positive responses with times for an interview and gives them the address to the apartment. Within an hour, they all write back saying they aren't interested. Then, she notices the emails from the sites that flagged her account and canceled them. She doesn't get it. It's like there is a big black X over the apartment and her IP address.

And then she gets it. There is a big black X over the apartment. There is a big black X over her. She doesn't know what or why, but something Barney did, some sort of play he did in his life, has somehow infiltrated the network of nannies, and put him or anything he does on some sort of blacklist. She wouldn't be annoyed by it, because she usually isn't about his past, but she is because it means that they have no nanny. She bets they won't be able to find one either, which means she won't be able to go back to work.

* * *

 

 "We've got a bit of a problem," Robin vents to Barney when he comes home that night.

"What's that?" Barney asks. He's genuinely curious because she doesn't seem like her normal self, even like half her normal self. She looks like she's about to pull her hair out. "You look frustrated."

"It's the nannies," she sighs. Really she's playing him. She doesn't want to confront him, because every time she has lately he's gotten defensive. So she decided that if she gets him to admit it, the night will go a whole lot smoother, and he'll be much more likely to help with their predicament. "I can't find a single one that is willing to interview," she complains.

"That's crazy!" he brushes off.

"I contacted twenty six, twenty one of which basically told me to 'go to hell.' The five that agreed to meet with us canceled as soon as they found out our address."

"Uh huh," he nods, as he pauses, standing at the foot of the bed.

"And then," she continues to rant, "I started getting a flag on my account for every website I registered for, and they canceled them."

"Uh huh," he mutters.

"The emails said something about my paperwork being a scam," she adds.

"Uh huh."

"And that I have a profile too similar to someone in the past who was running a scam," she implies.

"Uh huh."

"Do you know anything about this?" she asks.

"Uh huh," he mutters again, obviously zoned out.

He is out of it. He knows it. He stopped listening out of guilt somewhere around the point where she said she didn't get good responses. He knows exactly what's going on. It's all because of his nannies play. It's all his fault that she is going to have to stay home with Brianna. It's so horrible that he's affected them like this because of something he did to try to forget about her.

"Barney!" she shouts, trying to bring him back on track.

"What?" he asks, shaking out of it. He knows he can't avoid her forever.

"You need to stop zoning out," she reprimands.

"I'm not zoning out," he defends.

"Yes, you are," she counters. He had definitely zoned out. "You haven't heard a word I said. What did I just say?"

"That you had five people interview," he responds, because he really missed it what she did say. He was all caught up in the worry of what he's done.

"No. Not at all. The only five people that responded nicely turned me down after they learned our address."

"Oh."

"What did you do?" she interrogates.

"Nothing," he assures, even though he know exactly what he did.

"Barney?!" she shouts, completely aggravated by him right now.

"Okay," he sighs, finally moving from the spot he's been stuck since he zoned out, to collapse next to her on the bed. It's time for her to know what happened. He isn't going to get away with lying about it. That's the thing about her and her alone. She can always see right through him. "I may have had a play a few years ago that involved nannies." Well that's no revelation she thinks. "It was right after I broke up with Quinn. Marshall and Lily were looking for a nanny for Marvin, and I needed a distraction from the fact that you were still with Nick. So I thought it would be a challenge. It wasn't. I was just bored. I missed you. I wanted you."

Damn it. He always has a way of completely turning whatever he did wrong into a reason he loves her, which just makes her emotional, and of course, Brianna is great at making her even more emotional. Now that he says it, she vaguely remembers that time, but she was too caught up in the walking vibrator that was Nick.

"Is that when you ended up in the dumpster?" she asks.

"Yeah," he murmurs, still sort of embarrassed by the whole thing. It made him feel weak, and he hates feeling weak around her.

She's upset about all of this, but he didn't do anything wrong right now. He did it in the past. It's not his fault now that this is still like this, regardless of how much she wants to blame this on him right now.

"What are we going to do?" she sighs.

"I don't know," he answers, rubbing her back. "We'll think of something though."

"But I can't get anyone, ANYONE to interview!" she starts to scream in panic. "How can I find anyone to be her nanny if I can't get anyone to interview?"

"We will find someone. I promise," he reassures her. "I'll set up some interviews at work where my account shouldn't get flagged and access the website through there so that maybe they can't track us."

"It's not going to work," she mutters, shaking her head. He's ready to prove her wrong.

* * *

 At work the next day, Barney repeats Robin's steps, filling out the forms with his work address, using his work computer. He feels like he's doing everything right. Unfortunately, it's not enough, and a little before lunch, he finds himself in the same situation she was in yesterday.

It's Arthur that notices his frustration when he's eating in the conference room later. He decided it would be a good idea to get away from his desk for a while, but now he's not so sure. He really doesn't need a lecture from Arthur today.

"What's up, Stinson, you look frustrated. Everything ok with the wife and kid?" Arthur asks.

"Yeah," Barney bemoans. "Just looking for a nanny and having some problems finding one."

"I heard that Wilson over in accounting took a sabbatical to take care of his son," one of Barney's other colleagues, Martin, chimes in.

"What do you mean?" Barney asks.

"You've been here years. You should have some time saved up for one," Martin explains.

"Huh," Barney utters. "Thanks, Martin."

He packs up his lunch and leaves the conference room almost immediately, a new idea completely taking over his mind, his decision made. He wants to do all the research he can, so he can take his new idea to Robin tonight.

* * *

 "You were right," he sighs, coming home from work. She smiles greedily, because she knew it. "It didn't work, but I've got something more important to tell you," he announces proudly.

He is incredibly proud of himself. Even though it wasn't his thought at first, once the idea was in his head, he knew he wanted nothing more than the opportunity to spend time with his daughter. He can't wait to see Robin's reaction. He managed to find out from Human Resources that he has enough time for a year's worth of time off, and due to his high standing, he will get most of his pay anyway. Many lower employees of the company wouldn't be that lucky.

"What's that?" she asks, skeptical.

"I can take a sabbatical," he announces.

"Huh?" That is far from what she expected to come out of his mouth.

"I have a paid leave I can take, because I've been with the company for so long."

"And that means?" He can't possibly be suggesting…

"I'll stay home with her for a while after you go back to work," he says. "I can take up to a year." Wow. She can't quite believe that he is willing to do that.

"You want to do that?" she questions.

"Yes," he affirms. "You've given up your career lately, for her and for us. It's time that I return the favor." She hugs him immediately. She never expected he would want to do quite all of this. "I'll get 90% of my full salary, and we don't have to worry about finding a nanny right away."

"You know you don't have to do to make it up to me. You deserve to have your career too," she pleads. To him, the thought that he is doing this to make it up to her, is absolutely crazy. They are both more important to him than anything in the world.

"I'm not doing because of that. I want to do this," he insists.

"Wow. You're sure about this, aren't you?" She's touched, so touched, that he would want to stay with her and not go to work. She's sure she couldn't voluntarily do that. It's been enough being home for the past six months.

"I am. I thought about it all day. I'm going to be a stay at home dad."

It's just one more thing that she can add to the list of things she never expected Barney Stinson to ever say. 

* * *

_1/15/15_

_For those of you readers that are parents, you know that the hardest thing about being a parent is thinking about what you are going to do with your child when you head off to work. Even though she isn't here yet, I thought it would be a good idea to start looking at our child care options._

_We decided that a nanny would be the best choice for us, since we both work long hours. However, our search for a nanny was less than successful. We haven't even been able to interview anyone, and everyone we scheduled an interview with canceled on us._

_I thought at first that this would impact my return to work, which I am greatly looking forward to, but it will not. We've decided that my husband will be taking a sabbatical from his work to stay home with her for at least 6 months. At that time, we will try to search for a nanny again, and hopefully, we will be able to find a person that we can trust her with._

_I was surprised when my husband offered to be a stay at home dad. Don't be calling him Mr. Mom. He would not be happy to hear that at all! I never pegged him for the type to give up his career for someone else. But he explained to me that he wanted to do this. He wanted to spend his time with her._

_So stay tuned for my return to WWN as lead anchor, as it should only be about 15 more weeks!_

 

 


	45. Barney's Reflections

Thirty six weeks. His wife has made it to thirty six weeks, and she spent the last twenty four of them in bed for their baby's health. In about four more weeks, if everything goes right that is, he is going to be a father. He is going to be a father to a living, breathing, tiny human being, a human being he created with Robin.

A part of him couldn't be happier. After Shannon left him and broke his heart, he never bought into all that love business. Until he met Robin, that is. He never saw himself as a father or a future father, never mind wanting to be one. He always thought that pregnancy was something to be avoided. He never wanted that for himself.

But it was always different with her. Somehow, a child with her didn't seem like a scary thing. If it happened, it happened. He knew it probably never would, since she never wanted children. He always thought that maybe someday, she would change her mind. He wouldn't have cared if she never did though. She was truly all he ever needed. And he did mean that. But now, with his daughter only a few weeks away, he feels like the luckiest man on earth.

Still, he is a bit reluctant for things to change. He's not sure he's ready to be a father. Not in the way that he wants to run out the door and leave Robin, since he knows how much that would ruin her, but in an insecure he's nervous kind of way. Yes, he thinks he's done well as a father so far, just in being there for Robin. He cleaned out his suit room. He even put together a crib. And now that he's volunteered to be a stay at home dad for a year, it's even scarier.

Yes, he's always been good around babies. He's never had problems taking care of Eli, Sadie, and Marvin, but it's different to baby sit and give the baby back to its parents at the end of the night. There will be no giving Brianna back to someone else to do the hard work. He's going to have to do the hard work: the diaper explosions, the spit ups, the discipline. It's why being the cool uncle was so much fun and a job he very much looked forward to. He would have no problem teaching the other's kids how to live. He could make them awesome.

But now, he has to teach his own child to be awesome. How do you teach them how to be awesome, but at the same time, keep them safe? How is he supposed to teach her how to live life to the fullest, yet avoid men like he used to be? He has no idea how he can possibly do her justice, how he can be the parent she deserves.

If Lily or Tracy, or even Ted were here, they would give him some load of crap about already being there for her. After all, look at what he's done for her already- giving up his job, giving up his social life with them to take care of Robin. Then of course, he'd argue that Robin does and has done a whole lot more, because to him, it doesn't feel like he's done anything special or out of the ordinary, while she's spent the whole time in bed.

So he's there for Robin 24/7? He loves her. He would be crazy not to be there with her all the time. He'd do anything to make her happy, to make her feel needed, even if she doesn't need to feel needed. He loves her so damn much. It doesn't feel like he's given up anything for her. And really, for the most part, even though just about everything is falling to him right now- cooking and cleaning and things of that nature- there isn't really anything about her pregnancy that really bothered him. Except one thing.

He'd heard from Marshall a few years back that Lily was always hot when she was pregnant with Marvin. He laughed it off at the time, and didn't think much of it. The problem is that he's not married to a normal person like Lily. He's married to a Canadian.

Robin, it seems, can't cool herself off. Ever. Not even close. She had stopped sleeping under the covers with him because she was too hot. She had stopped wearing most clothing. Okay, maybe he was ok with that but not as much as he would be if they could have sex. It was like dangling a dang carrot in front of him. But worst of all, she had taken to keeping the window open. It started out as a crack, which he could handle, and slowly but surely opened up the entire way. He thanks god that at least it is nowhere near as cold as it was last January during the polar vortex. Thirty-two degrees is his limit. He may be one quarter Canadian, but he is not a person that is meant to live in the cold.

He started wearing sweats to bed around the time she started to crack the window, which was unusual to say the least. Yesterday, he had to start wearing long underwear under his suits, on top of gloves and a hat in the bedroom.

But there is no way he is going to ask Robin to close the window. If having the window open makes her feel better, then that's what needs to happen. He'd do anything for Robin, including sleeping a winter coat, if that's what he has to do. And not only does she mean that much to him, but so does Brianna, and whatever is good for Robin is good for Brianna.

His eye opening moment this week on the journey to becoming a father was them packing the bag for her to take to the hospital. Okay, it was more him packing, and Robin reading him the list, but still, he can't believe that it is going to happen quite this soon. Just the stuff they needed to pack reminded him of how much their lives are going to change. Just to know that sometime in the next month, his daughter is going to be coming home in the pink and purple ruffled outfit that Robin picked out last night, scares the hell out of him.

Yet, at the same time, his daughter is going to be coming home in that outfit. The daughter that he created with the person he loves more than anyone in the world. The thought of getting to meet her, to find out whether she has Robin's eyes, or his nose, or her hair, it makes all the scary feelings rush away. He just wants to lay his eyes on her. He is willing to bet that she will be as beautiful as her mother.

The thing is, he knows this is going to be wonderful, no matter how scared he is. Because the truth is, no matter what happens, they are on this journey together.

* * *

  _1/22/15_

_It's week thirty six, and that means only one more week until I've safely made it to full term! This week we decided to tackle a project that we've been putting off for a while. We really should have done it weeks ago, considering my medical situation, but we were both avoiding it because it means that it's all real. So what is it we did? We packed the bag for the hospital._

_We packed things for the baby- an outfit was all we were told that we needed, but we packed a blanket anyway. We packed things for me- makeup, a robe, some socks, and a towel were some of the things on my suggested list, and they are things I never would have considered to take along. Plus, we added a pillow. And we packed a bag for my husband as well- a few cans of Red Bull, a couple of snacks, and a cigar, because, well, it's a birth._

_So now the bag is sitting by the front door, with the car seat, waiting for us to rush by and pick them up on our way to the hospital. And just knowing that it's there, ready to go, makes this feel very real. Readers, is there anything else we should take to the hospital?_

 


	46. Robin's Reflections

They've just come home from her thirty-seven week checkup. She's defied the odds, and made it to a full term pregnancy. She wasn't even supposed to be able to get pregnant, but here she is, almost ready to give birth to a baby. A real, live baby. One that she is going to have to hold. There won't be any avoiding holding this one.

It's scary for her to think that Brianna is almost here. Hearing the doctor say congratulations for getting to this point was a wake-up call. It's a pivotal moment for her. She knows now that it can happen any time. Any moment in the next few weeks could send them straight to the hospital. And once they are at the hospital, they will be coming home with a baby, and not just any baby- their baby. A baby that they have to care for.

Even with reading everything she can about being a parent, and learning from Lily hands-on, she's still terrified. Besides Marshall, Lily, and Marvin, the only experience she has with infants was watching her parents with Katie. Her parents were the worst examples of what to do. Even though she remembers Katie being a newborn, and was old enough at the time to help, Robin wanted nothing to do with her at the time. She never wanted anything to do with babies. She couldn't even bring herself to hold Marvin when he was born.

Her dad was distant with Katie. Less distant than he was with her, but still distant. He rarely held Katie, only doing what he needed to with her. Her mom spent long hours out of the house, leaving Katie there alone with her and her dad, which of course resulted in a screaming baby. Her mom always wanted to be by herself. She needed her alone time. She didn't care if her daughters needed her. That fact scares Robin, because that reminds her of herself right now. She's ready to get back to her life, and out of her bed. She's ready to be her own person again. But if she's her own person, will she end up becoming her mom?

She doesn't want to be her mom. She wants to be a good mom, like Loretta is to Barney. But then again, Loretta wasn't the best mom when Barney was younger. In a way, she wasn't unlike her own mother. She left him alone to pursue her own wants and wishes. Even Lily, who always wanted to be a mom, and is a pretty damn good one at that, still wanted to pursue her career, even at Marvin's expense. She has no idea how she can put her baby first, like she knows she should, when she doesn't know a single woman who could.

Barney keeps telling her she's going to be a great mom. Some days, she believes him, some days, she doesn't at all. She knows that he is going to be an awesome dad. All he's done so far proves it. He's a natural dad. He loves kids. She never did.

She never believed in all the hokum of love at first sight for your child. Everyone tells her she's going to fall in love right away, and it's going to make this all that much easier. She doubts it's going to happen. Yes, she loves the baby, because it's a part of her and Barney, but she doesn't believe that she will love it any more than she already does.

And in a way, she's been disillusioned about her whole pregnancy. She hasn't had the experience of a normal pregnancy. She's had Tracy by her side the whole time, but then again, she's had Tracy by her side the whole time. It's been great to go through it with someone, but it's not the same when you are on bed rest and they aren't. Just getting to see all the awesome things that Tracy has gotten to do is depressing enough, let alone the fact that she hasn't been able to live her normal life. Really, she's felt so alone, as much as she doesn't want to admit it. She's felt secluded. She's felt trapped. She's ready to be done with that to get back to life, but all that brings her back to the crux of the issue. She's not sure she's ready to play the part of mom.

As much as she is ready to get out of bed and let the bed rest behind her, she doesn't, because when she gets up, that means that Brianna will be here. It would be nice to go back to her old life, but that means no baby. It would be nice to stay in bed, because that means that she doesn't have to be a mom just yet. Then again, it would be nice to meet the baby, to get to see what she looks like, to get to see which one of them she is more like. But for that, she has to be here.

It's an internal war for her. She's not sure which she'd prefer, the bed rest or the first weeks of parenthood. There are pros and cons to each. She knows logically that the best thing is for her to stay in there longer, but she just wants to be able to walk around, to be able to go places and see things again, and gosh damn it, have sex again. Plus, she remembers what Marshall and Lily were like those first few weeks. They were literally walking zombies. She's definitely not ready for that, even if it includes walking.

Then again, the logical side of her knows that she has no control over the situation, and it's going to be a long time until she has control over the situation again. But she thinks, maybe if she's lucky, serendipity will take over in the next few weeks, and all will be okay.

* * *

 

_1/29/15_

_Today was my thirty-seven week check-up, and I'm going to be honest. I'm not sure what it is, but I am incredibly nervous about becoming a mom. I know I shouldn't be. Everyone tells me, especially my husband, that I am going to make a wonderful mother. Still, I can't help but think about how much our life is going to change, and so soon too._

_I never had a good example of motherhood when I was younger. My parents divorced when I was in grade school, and I lived with my father. It was not an environment in which I could learn how to be a parent, or what parental care was all about. I want to do what is best for my baby, but I really have no idea how._

_I know I'll have a bunch of help, but I'm still scared about it. Maybe it's a good thing to be scared. Maybe it means that I care, or at least that's what my friend keeps telling me. If I was meant to be a bad parent, I wouldn't be scared about it._

_I do know people say that meeting your baby is the best feeling of your life, and it will change you, and you will learn what to do, but I'm just not sure that I believe that yet. But then again, I've never believed in those type of stories. I've never been a fatalist. I've always believed that I had control over my life. I've spent most of my life fighting fate. So, now to have to give that up, it's quite difficult._

_I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling this way, but sometimes, it does seem that way._

 

 


	47. The Only Thing Missing

"Come on, we need to finish this!" Robin shouts from the bed one night.

"Since when are you in such a big hurry to get this done?" Barney asks as he bustles around the bedroom, cleaning up and getting things ready for the next day. "You're the one that keeps saying, 'No Barney! We should wait a while. We have time yet. I'm not even at full term.'"

"Well," she sighs. "I've changed my mind."

"Um hm. Sure you did," he implicates.

"No, I really did," she insists.

"It scared you to admit that finishing her nursery means were close, doesn't it?" She stares off into the room guiltily. He's hit the nail right on the head. "It did," he accuses, pointing his finger at her. "So what made you change your mind?" he changes his tone, asking sweetly.

"I don't know. It's stupid," she rebukes.

"No, nothing is 'stupid'," he air-quotes, "when it comes to you." He knows her implicit meaning of that phrase. He always knew. Even that day at the carousel right before they got married, he knew. Just because Ted beat him there, didn't meant that he didn't know.

"She just feels," she pauses, rubbing her stomach and searching for the right words to describe how different she is feeling, "well, lower. Like she's making her way down to come out."

"Does that even work that way?" he questions.

"Some women swear it does. It's really uncomfortable though. All I know is that every day I feel a little more like a beached whale," she answers sadly. She's quite ready for her to be out now. She's incredibly uncomfortable.

"Come on," he says, as he sits down on the bed and pulls her into a hug. "You're not a beached whale. Manatee, maybe," he teases, "but not a whale." She smacks him immediately. "Owwww! I'm kidding!"

"You better be," she spurns. "You know I hate your stupid mermaid theory."

"You know you're always the mermaid right? The rule only applies to pregnancy when the baby isn't your own. And that's my baby so…"

She giggles. "You're an idiot." He can always change her from immediately angry and annoyed, to grinning like mad.

"Love you too, Scherbatsky," he answers, remembering her secret code word. "Now, I've got a report to finish up for work. Can you give me like an hour to finish? Then I'd be more than happy to go finish the nursery with you."

"Yeah. I can't wait," she smiles, knowing that he's ready to help.

* * *

 "5 Canada onesies?" Barney sneers. They are now in the nursery, and he is sorting out Brianna's clothes, and handing them to Robin so she can fold them.

"How many of these did you need to buy? I don't really need to be reminded that my daughter is half Canadian."

"Half Canadian?" she spurns, half offended by the implication, and half teasing him. "Half Canadian? Try five-eighths Canadian."

"Damn it Scherbatsky! You can pick one. We can return the rest."

"But they are so cute!" she argues.

"One," he explicates.

"How about two?" she tries to compromise.

"How much clothing does a baby need?" he asks, pulling more out of boxes and opening up the closet.

"I dunno," she shrugs. "A lot?"

"No," he shoots back. "You only need so much clothing because she is going to outgrow it so fast. I mean the fortress and this room are big, but not that big. We can only have so much stuff."

"But babies are messy!" she argues. "She is going to spit up, and have messy diapers. She going to need to have her clothes changed a lot."

"Uggg…" Barney utters, rolling his eyes. He has no rebuttal to that, even though he swears he is right about this.

"You're complaining about her clothing?" Robin asks. "You have three times as many suits as she has clothes right now. The clothes can stay."

"Fine," he agrees reluctantly. "You win this one, Scherbatsky. What needs to happen next?"

"Well, I can fold and put the rest of her clothing on hangers, and you can hang the artwork."

"You mean the Canadian animals?" he spits.

"Yes. That's exactly what I mean," she retorts playfully.

"I'm still upset that you wouldn't go with the Star Wars theme," he groans. "It's not a boy movie. There are strong women in Star Wars. Look at Leia. God forbid, there is even Padme. She is a queen and a Senator the head of trying to stop that very important take over."

"Uggg! We did both!" she exclaims, very quickly removing him from his rant. "We compromised. We decided not to be lone wolves, and do it on our own, hence, the picture of the three wolves."

"You're right," he concedes. "So I can go get the storm trooper?" he asks gleefully.

"No. You are going to scare her half to death with the storm trooper."

"Hey!" he shouts, offended.

"Until she is old enough to understand the storm trooper, it's not going in her bedroom. She's not going to sleep that much as it is. We don't need to give her nightmares on top of it," she explains. "Besides, you have the mobile and the dolls on the dresser. That's plenty for now."

"But..." he whines.

"No Barney," she chastises. "We made a deal that this nursery is going to be a mix of everything, therefore, it needs to be a mix of everything." They agreed. This is supposed to be a part of both of them.

"Fine," he acquiesces. He did agree to the nursery. She's absolutely right. He picks up one of the prints to examine it. When Robin first told him of her idea for Canadian animals, he thought it was ridiculous, but he has to admit, it was a great idea. "Damn, these are cute."

"I know, I found them on Etsy. It isn't even that Canadian," she continues, arguing her point from earlier. "It's not like I plastered the walls with Canadian flags."

"No, you didn't," he says, accepting her point. She could have gone much more Canadian. The room could look like their rehearsal dinner, but it doesn't. "Where and in what order do you want them in?" he asks, wanting to get her away from the stress of the argument and towards finishing so he can go to bed.

"Maybe on the left wall over the dresser and changing table, with the wolves in the center, the beaver on the left, and the moose on the right?"

He looks around the room. To his left, is the closet. On the wall in front of him is a large window. On the wall on the right is the crib. The changing table is on the same wall as the closet, in the space between the closet and the window. The glider is in front of the window, and the other dresser is next to the crib.

"Okay," he answers dutifully, walking over to the changing table on the left to hang the pictures. He comments offhandedly, "I still can't believe that I agreed to let you put a beaver in our daughter's room."

"Oh, come on Barney! Get your head out of the gutter. It's an animal. A very cute animal," she argues adamantly, hating his constant vituperation against beavers. She guesses that he's never going to grow up on that one.

"Come on, Scherbatsky, take the joke," he teases.

He immediately falls silent, concentrating on measuring and hanging the pictures, as she continues to fold and hang the clothes.

"What do you think?" he asks twenty minutes later, after he has all three prints hung up.

"I love it. It's perfect," she exclaims. She glances around the room, admiring their hard work. At this point, the only thing that needs to be done is moving the clothing into its home.

"So we're done?" he asks.

"Except for moving the clothes, I think so," she mutters.

"So the only thing missing is her?"

"Yeah, the only thing missing is her."

* * *

_2/5/15_

_Another week has passed, and that means that we are another week closer to a healthy, full term baby. I'm a little over a week away from my due date, and the doctor is quite surprised that she still hasn't arrived yet._

_This week, we finished decorating her room. Of course, there were a few heated debates over where the artwork should be hung and how much clothing she really needs, but in the end, we finished, and it is beautiful. Her clothes are folded, the crib is made, and the diapers are stacked. All that is missing at this point is her._

_ I can tell, however, that my body is getting ready for her arrival. I would not be surprised that if next week, I will be writing to tell you about her birth! _


	48. Bagpipes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING- This story is rated T. I really feel I need to include this chapter in this story, since it's an important step in the journey. 
> 
> The second half is sexually graphic and NSFW. You do NOT need to read that NSFW section to make sense of this chapter. 
> 
> If you would like to skip it, please do. I've made it very easy to do will start and finish at the xxxxxx borders, so all you need to do is scroll past them.

"How are you doing this week Robin?" the doctor asks as she walks into the exam room.

They are at her 39 week check-up, just a week away from her due date. They're all surprised that they are even here. All the doctors in the practice told her in the beginning that she wouldn't make it this far in her pregnancy, but here she is, on February sixth, still very much pregnant and anxiously awaiting the doctor's opinion.

"Good," Robin answers. "Uncomfortable, but good."

"Well, you are here. That is a good thing," the doctor responds. "Let's check you out and see how things are progressing."

She examines Robin, checking to see that the baby is progressing, and that Robin is not showing signs of labor.

"Everything is looking good," the doctor explains. "You're not dilated at all, which is a good sign that labor isn't going to start soon. She's measuring well, and she seems to be progressing fine. She's moved a bit lower in your pelvis, but not that much. If I was looking at a non- high risk mother, I would say you have at least another week to go."

"Another week?" Robin questions. She's a bit shocked by this. She had expected Brianna to make her arrival long before now. "So what if we wanted to speed things up a bit?" All she can think of right now is just being done with this. Maybe it could all be over tomorrow.

"At this point, I wouldn't be trying to speed things up per se, as we prefer you allow her develop on her own, but we would, if you requested, allow you to have an elective delivery after today."

"So you're saying?" Barney clarifies. He's curious too. He's been very quietly observing the conversation, but his mind is racing. They could really choose to have her be born today? "Does this mean that Robin doesn't have to be on bed rest anymore?"

"I can't say that you have to be on bed rest at this point, but I can't recommend for you to be out of bed much either," she explains. They both are a bit disappointed at this, since they were both hoping for a slightly different answer. "However," the doctor continues, "You've made it to this point and she could be born any day with no adverse effects. I would still recommend that you stay in bed most of the time, but at this point, it might not be a bad idea for you to start taking some short walks, just to increase your stamina for labor. But in the end, it's a decision for the two of you to make about you baby. I can't make a recommendation."

"And what about sex?" Robin blurts out. She wants to know, because this whole time, no sex and bed rest have been a pair. It must mean if one can go out the window, the other can too.

"Again, I can't tell you yes, but I'm not going to say you can't at this point. Most women at this stage in their pregnancy are not interested in sex, but that decision is up to the two of you. I understand that it's been a few months and it's going to be at least six to eight weeks after delivery until we clear you for sex again, so again, that is up to you and how you feel about going into labor sooner rather than later. It shouldn't be harmful for the baby in anyway, other than being a few days early."

They both take in that news with an astounding look. Everything that changed so drastically six months ago, almost to the day, has changed back in an instant. No house arrest, no sex bans. It is all gone if they want it to be, if they want to risk her going into labor at any second.

"Anything else we should know?" Robin asks after everything has sunk in. She doesn't want to miss out on a single piece of information.

"I don't think so. We have your birth plan on file, and you pre-registered with the hospital correct?"

"Correct," Robin affirms.

"Just make sure that you have enough hormone injections for the next week, just in case, and we will see you next week or before."

* * *

 "Best. Doctor appointment. Ever," Barney declares as soon as they are in the car with Ranjit.

"You can say that again," she agrees wholeheartedly. She never would have thought that she would be able to enjoy this last week. She expected to go straight from their bed to the hospital. "Who would have thought that we'd get to this point?"

"Not me," he answers. "Did I mention how sexy you are?" he says, while reaching over to stroke her thigh.

"I don't feel sexy."

"That's crazy!" he declares. "I could do you right here in the back of this cab."

"Barney…" she trails off. She doesn't feel like this is a good idea. Maybe just because she's trained herself to think nonsexual thoughts for so long. He leans over and reaches his mouth right to the spot on her neck that gets her raring.

"Thank god I've taken the afternoon off," he mutters between kisses.

"God, this feels…" she moans. She's at a loss for words. She's forgotten what it's like to have Barney's lips anywhere but her lips. But she knows, there's something else that has to be done first, something they have to talk about, something that's not right.

To him, there is nothing hotter than riling her up in the back of a cab. He could do this all day.

"Before we go any further…" she manages to protest.

"Hmmm…" he moans into her neck, with no intention of stopping any time soon.

"Barney. Mouth. Off of neck. Now," she demands, causing him to groan. "I know you are excited, but I don't think we should rush into this without talking about it first."

"Why exactly?" he questions. The doctor said it wasn't a problem. At least that's what he got out of the conversation.

"Because this is still a risk," she says, fear being alluded in her voice. She's so used to being good, and she's worried that if they do this now, the last six months of her life will have been a waste.

"Robin, why are you making a big deal out of this?" he whines.

"Because she didn't say yes," she explains. It's still hard to tell him everything that's on her mind about this, but mostly it's because she doesn't even know herself. "She said we could, but she didn't say we SHOULD."

"What is the worst thing that can happen?" Barney theorizes out loud. He doesn't see the harm. They could choose to have her born tomorrow if they wanted to.

"I can go into labor," she argues. She's not sure that the baby is ready yet. It can't possibly be time yet.

"Exactly," he counters. "Would you be ready to have her today?"

"I don't know. I guess?" she stumbles. And then she thinks about it. Going into labor today would mean no more backaches, no more constant peeing, no more leg cramps, no more nerve pain, no more swollen feet, no more watching watch she eats, no more just plain uncomfortableness. "No, actually, it would be pretty nice to just get her out now."

"And they said it wouldn't hurt her to be born now," he adds to the argument.

"You make it seem so simple," she coos, smiling like an idiot, because he's right.

"It is simple," he declares in the same way he used to declare a play, while grabbing into her hand. It makes her heart glow, because now it's all about her. "You get to walk around a bit. We both get to have sex. We get to feel like what it's like to have a normal pregnancy for a little bit, what it's like to be Ted and Tracy, even if it's only for a few days. And she seems to be pretty determined to stay in there. Nothing bad is going to happen."

"Nothing bad is going to happen," she says, almost like a mantra, like she has to convince herself.

"Nothing bad is going to happen," he comforts. "I promise."

* * *

 "Okay, so how do I do this?" Barney asks Robin. They've arrived at the apartment, and quickly made it to the bedroom, but now they are sitting, unsure of where to start and trying to let the other make the first move.

"Really?" she chides. He can't be saying that he's forgotten how to have sex. She could never forget how to have sex. "You've forgotten already? It's only been six months Barney!"

"That's not what I meant!" he explains, exasperated. He remembers how to have sex. How could she even think that? It's them. "How do we have sex with the bump?" he asks quietly and somewhat ashamed. "I've never done this before."

"Really?" she derides. "You never had sex with a pregnant woman?" She finds it a little hard to believe.

"No. I never did," he admits.

"Wow," she mutters. "I wasn't expecting that. I just figured..."

"Well stop," he cuts her off, rather angrily. He knows that she loves him, but he absolutely hates when she sees him as just a playboy again. She's worried because she knows she touched a nerve. She didn't mean to, but she did assume that he would have in all the years before. "I just never thought it was right ok?"

"Sorry," she says remorsefully, really regretting what she said. "I didn't mean it that way. I mean, I don't really know what to do either," she shares. "But, we get to explore it together, and that's pretty awesome."

He's amazed by her, as always. She just turned around everything that she said wrong and made it better. He loves that about her, and it makes him want her even more now. He's missed her so damn much, and the anticipation is killing him.

"That is true. You're the awesome one here Scherbatsky." And he means it. She is the most awesome person on the face of the planet. He has to admit though; it's a little weird to think about having sex with her right now. The baby is so close. Not to mention, he still has no idea how to start. "I still don't know what to do though."

"Shhhh," she hisses, putting her finger up to his lips. "Just forget about the baby," she whispers, while nipping at his ear. "You'll know what to do."

He realizes she's right. Her mouth feels like heaven to him right now. He stops thinking about it, and lets his body take over. His lips meet hers in a lustful kiss, and there is no stopping them, no stopping what is about to happen.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX WARNING!**

He starts running his fingers through her hair as the kisses become deeper. She starts unknotting his tie, pulling and clawing at it like an animal. His hands start roaming deeper, grasping at her nipples through her shirt for the first time in months. A moan escapes her. She had forgotten how sensitive her breasts were. It had been so long since Barney had touched her that way. It makes her instantly want him inside of her, but she knows that what this will build up to is well worth the wait.

His mouth moves to that spot on her neck that he had rediscovered earlier, while her hands move to his buttons, leaving his hands free to roam. They slide gingerly along her waistband, slipping under and slowly drawing circles towards the spot that's been forbidden.

She's been so primed and ready. Really, the last six months has been one long, gigantic foreplay. The hormones and the crazy sex dreams that just barely competed with their real life sexcapades just made it worse. Every time she watched him masturbate, every time she jerked him off, or every time she blew him, it was added to that build up, that pleasure that was about to come exploding out of her at some point. It has all built up so much, that all it takes is one touch, one brush over that sweet spot, and all pleasure takes over, and she is gone to the world.

Barney looks at her, stunned at the little amount of work it took to get her there. He knew she had been miserable these past few months, and missed this, but he had no idea how much sexual tension had been built up. He holds her in his arms, still unable to believe it, as he waits for her to be aware of herself again.

"Forgotten what that's like there?" he teases.

"Ghnnnnn..." she utters wordlessly, unable to form a coherent thought, let alone words.

"Want me to keep going?"

"Yes..." she mutters as she starts to come back out of orbit. She feels so amazingly at peace, as if all the stress of the last few months has finally gone away. She never thought it was this possible to be so completely under Barney's spell as she was right now. There were times that she would have sworn she was as in deep as she could have been, but she had never been so wrong. Her body had never ached for his this badly. Still on the high from her first orgasm in six months, she just wants him more and more. Even though it feels like all of the tension in her body has been released, there is no way she is ready for this to end.

Barney can't help but be stunned at Robin's writhing. It felt sometimes as if this drought was never going to end. Hell, he was the lucky one in all this. At least he still had a few options to take the stress away. She had none. He didn't even know how much it had bothered her until a few weeks ago.

Seeing her this way makes him ache for her, more than he ever thought was possible. He thought the night she was running her own play and showed up for all intents and purposes naked at his doorstep was the most he had ever wanted her, but right now, feeling her, touching her, tasting her, and being inside of her is all he can think about. He wants it all right now.

He wants more than anything to be inside of her, but he knows, that like her, this has the potential to be a very fast process for him. Being surrounded by her again, feeling her tight muscles around him could finish him off very quickly, if he isn't careful. Variety is the spice of life, and he knows that is what he is going to need to keep things going, at least for a little while. Plus, he knows that it will make the destination that much sweeter for the both of them.

He quickly shrugs off his open shirt, and helps her pull off her T-shirt. She fumbles with his belt, getting slightly distracted by his hardness. All he can do is stare back when she brushes against him. He's amazed at how much sexier her finds her sports bra now that he can look at her sexually again. He wants her so much.

He quickly jumps off the bed to let his pants and boxers fall to the floor, leaving him completely naked and her completely ready for more. In return, she hoists her hips in the air and peels off her pants slowly, torturing him, making drool. He rejoins Robin on the bed, crawling over to her, and helping her lift her bra over her head, which is discarded with a toss.

She lies down on her back, while he lies down next to her, giving him room to move his arm up and down her entire body. He reaches to the last piece of clothing still between them, her panties, and pulls them down to her knees. She kicks them off from there, sending them flying across the room to land somewhere he's going to enjoy finding them later.

From position curled up next to her, He plays with her now exposed pussy, feeling that she is more than ready for him, but he can't resist teasing her a bit. He slowly moves his finger inside her, to which she responds with a loud moan. He can't help but notice that things feel different inside of her, which helps him take his mind off of how much he needs her right now. The strangest thing to him though, is that he can feel the baby kicking both inside and out, and it reminds him slightly that they are not alone in this. If he wouldn't want her so much, he might not even be able to go through with it. But he's missed this so much, so he does what she said to. He forgets about the baby and puts all his focus back on Robin.

All Robin can think about is how much more of him she needs right now. All the hormones that she has been denying for the past six months are surging forward and rearing their ugly heads right about now. She needs him so bad, and she'd do anything to get it.

"I need you. Now," she pleads, begging for him to take his finger out and replace it with something else entirely.

He knows he needs her just as bad as she needs him, and he wants to oblige. He slowly and teasingly removes his finger from inside of her, before pushing her leg up to maneuver around her. He settles himself between her legs, and praises whatever stroke of providence brought him here today.

He grabs ahold of himself, guiding his cock to the right spot, and slowly pushes into her. Both of them clench in an effort to hold it together, because, god, it's been so long, and it feels like heaven on earth. He knows he could let go right now, and let release overtake him, but he isn't ready yet. there is so much more he wants to do. He stays still while he plays with her breasts and nipples, just enjoying being a part of her, while she caresses him right back.

It doesn't take long of the stillness until she's had enough. It's been six months. She wants it. She wants to be fucked. She wants to be fucked hard. This romantic crap he's playing, that can wait for later. They've done enough romantic in the last few months two last the two of them a lifetime. Right now they need primal. They need animalistic. They need rough fucking, just like they used to do. She takes control, grabbing his tight butt, and forcing him into her further.

With her nails digging into his ass, he realizes that she's back. His animalistic, sex crazed wife is back. The problem is that sex crazed isn't going to work for very long. It's going to end with this coming to a stop all too quickly. He pulls back immediately, because he can't let it end like this.

He leans forward to kiss her, knowing better than to put all his weight on her bump. She appreciates the gentle kiss, but she still wants more and pulls him in once again, begging for more, and biting his lower lip in an effort to get a few more hard and quick thrusts. He's quite tempted to give her exactly what she wants, because he wants it too. It's a war, give Robin what she thinks she wants, and what he wants too, or give her what she really wants. He breaks down, giving into her requests for some strong thrusts, knowing full well that he won't be able to stop once he starts. He thrusts hard once, twice before he gets kicked, right in the abdomen. He pulls out and away instantaneously, Scrambling backwards on his knees. He's pretty sure he hasn't hurt her, but it's such a shock, and a reminder to him that he didn't want to continue anyway.

"Barney," she pleads. "Come back. You didn't hurt her. It's just something new to-"

She's silenced immediately by his tongue flicking her clit. She shudders in shock, her toes curling and her finger grabbing for the sheets, because that was the last thing she was expecting him to do. She didn't even see him move, he dove there so fast.

It feels incredible, and she finds herself getting close to the edge again, even though he's only been there for seconds. Not that she wasn't already close after having him inside of her again, but she wants to avoid the super-fast release of before. Yes, orgasms are great, but the buildup is even more fun.

She lavishes the feeling of Barney's tongue on her. It makes her realizes how amazing he is, to focus on her, when he could easily have been selfish and this could have even over by now.

He continues to lap away, loving every second of tasting her again. It's the same to him, yet it's not. It's still her, still very much her intoxicating scent, but it's changed. Not that he wasn't expecting it to have changed. Everything else about her body has changed recently. But he loves exploring it, loves learning about all these new changes in her body neither of them have been allowed to explore.

The way he is touching her, the way his mouth is moving over her and tasting her, she knows that she isn't going to be able to hold out for very long. She can feel it again, feel the pressure start to cover her body. She tenses, and holds her breath, because she so close, and she wants to feel it again.

Her strong thighs crash around Barney's head and her body curls up as she feels the pleasure wash over her again, blacking her out to the world.

Barney swears that this is one of the longest orgasms she's ever had, or maybe it just feels that way to him because she's squeezing his temples so hard. It takes her a while to come down from the high, but when she finally does, she collapses to the bed in exhaustion. Between this and the last orgasm, she feels like all the energy has been taken out of her. She feels just how out of shape she is, and not just sexually.

It's now that she notices just how much her orgasms have affected the baby. Brianna stopped kicking right after she kicked Barney, and has now gone to sleep. But she can feel just how tight everything has gotten. It's almost like a contraction. It's strong and pressing against the baby.

After she finally releases his head from her grasp, he's more than ready for her, more than ready for however long he can last inside of her. She's had her two. He pushes himself back up onto his knees, and crawls toward her again. He's not going to repeat earlier. He's not getting anywhere near the bump. She moves her legs instinctively up, getting her thighs as far back and to the side as she can with her stomach in the way. He slowly slides his cock along her slit, before sliding into her. They both know it isn't going to last long at all, but that doesn't mean they can't enjoy it while it does.

He grasps at her breasts, eliciting a loud moan from her, then slides his hands down to just underneath them. There he settles and gets a good grasp on her rib cage, so that there will be no accidental pressure on the baby this time.

He wastes no time on slow, no time on romantic. This is about primal, urgent, I want to make her come sex. He thrusts into her urgently, as she looks at him with a need in her eyes. The look makes him continue that much harder, every inch of himself sheathed by her. The longer he continues, the harder it is for him to ignore his impending orgasm. He wants her to have a third with him, which means he can't give in until she's had hers.

As soon as he's about to give up, because he can't take it anymore, he feels her start to lose control, start to grind against him, and start to scream loudly. The sensation is overwhelming to him, and he loses it, all sense of thought gone, as he spills into her for the first time in months. Their cries of release mirror each other's as they convulse together, letting everything run through them.

He tries; he tries so hard not to collapse, grabbing her legs to lean against. He can't lean on the bump, but he can feel her legs aren't able to hold him either. She's shaking just as much as he is. He doesn't want to collapse, because he wants this moment to go on forever. He wants to be with her.

"I can't…" he mutters. "I can't hold myself up anymore."

"It's okay," she murmurs, eyes still closed. She's not ready for it to be over either, but she can feel that he's trembling just as much as she is. She sets herself up on her elbows as best as she can, and reaches out to plant a tender kiss on his lips. He pulls himself out and falls to the bed in her right.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"That was amazing!" she mumbles, highly satiated, and sprawled out over the bed.

"Yeah it was!" he agrees with a huge grin. They both reach up and their hands connect in midair. "So did it feel any different?" he asks, because he's incredibly curious. Other than feeling Brianna move a bit at the beginning and getting kicked in the stomach, it really wasn't any different than old times.

"Yes and no," she answers. She doesn't quite know how to explain it to him. "I mean I completely get why we couldn't have sex now."

"What do you mean?"

"Every orgasm was like a contraction," she shares. Each time it happened, she could feel everything tighten, almost like the Braxton hicks contractions she's been having.

"Huh," he mutters. He never thought that that might have been the whole reason behind it. He didn't really know the reason why, but he never thought that an orgasm could lead to a miscarriage.

"Yeah, I wasn't expecting it either," she mumbles, snuggling in against him. She never thought she'd miss the after sex cuddling quite so much.

"So, I was thinking..." He murmurs suggestively, running his hands up and down her body.

"Yes?"

"Why don't we hit rounds two, three, four, and maybe five, and then meet the gang at MacLaren's as a surprise?" he suggests seductively. She can feel him growing beneath her leg that's draped over his body.

"I'm supposed to take it easy Barney."

"Okay, rounds two, three, and four then MacLaren's," he jokes.

She shakes her head, knowing they really shouldn't go to overly crazy, but she knows it's crazy to think that he's wrong. That is exactly what will happen if she lets it. And it probably will. She's always had a problem saying no to him.

"I'll agree to MacLaren's right now, but we'll have to see about the other rounds."

"I don't know how I'm going to keep my hands off of you."

"I'm really tired," she complains. He doesn't understand just how much round one took out of her. "I'm not saying no, but I'm going to need some time to get back into this. Can we just rest?"

"Alright, Scherbatsky. We'll rest."

"I love you, Barney."

"I love you too, Robin, and I love Brianna," he gushes, rubbing his hand over her stomach. "You're my girls. I don't know what I'd do without you."

* * *

  _2/12/15_

_One day to go readers! I never thought I would be quite this excited to be so close to her birth._

_I had an amazing doctor appointment this past week. I am progressing normally, and she expected that I should make it to my due date, and I only have until tomorrow. Since I am technically already at full term, the doctor explained that while she couldn't make a recommendation either way, at this point, there was no medical reason for me to be on bed rest. We as a couple could make the decision to continue my time in bed, or to take short walks before my delivery._

_We both decided that since she is ready, and there would be no adverse effect to her if she is born now, we couldn't see not enjoying the last few days we have of just the two of us, and boy are we glad we did! We didn't overdo it, but it was nice to get out of the house before we are at home again with a newborn._

_And next week, I will be writing about our baby!_

 

 


	49. Desperation Day

The past week and a half hadn't been at all unlike their first summer together. There was a lot of sex, a lot of raging hormones, a lot of new things to try. In a way, they were getting to know each other again; they were getting to know her new body. There were a lot of things different about pregnant Robin. She preferred different positions. Those she used to love didn't feel as good and other things she used to hate were like gold now. But one thing did not change. She was still his wife, still the wonderful woman he married, and she was just as sexual as before. He's been walking around partially hard the entire time, knowing that at any second Robin could be ready for more. And she always seemed to be ready for more. It's actually left him a little bit sore trying to keep up with her.

It took her a little bit of time to recover from the first time, stamina wise, but once they started at it again, she was all over the place, over eager. Even though she was tired, she wanted to keep going and going. Frankly, he was a little worried about it. There were times he was worried about standing positions, about her falling over. There were a couple of positions he even had to talk her out of because he was afraid of her falling. Like the morning she tried to jump him in the shower. He had to turn her down, because he didn't want her falling and hurting herself or the baby. She hadn't been used to standing at all. He remembers that she had a hard time staying on her feet after an orgasm when she wasn't pregnant, when she didn't have a baby throwing off her center of gravity, and she had strong legs.

But of all the things they had done in catching up this week, there were a few good memories that are going to stay with him until the day he dies.

* * *

_Twelve days earlier_

It's only been a few hours since the doctor told them they could start having sex, and for the most part, they have spent it fucking like bunnies. Okay, and resting. It had been six months. Her stamina was completely gone, and not just for sex. They managed two more rounds before deciding they should head to MacLaren's and surprise the gang.

But when they arrive after the twenty three minute cab ride, no one is there. He didn't want to call and make sure they were all still coming, and since he's pretty sure that Friday nights are still their tradition, they order drinks, club soda for Robin and a scotch for him, and claim the booth. It doesn't take long for the scotch to warm his body, and for him to slip his foot out of his shoe and up her leg.

"What are you doing?" she questions with an evil eye.

"I don't know," he shrugs, knowing exactly what he's doing. He just got to start having sex again and he isn't planning on stopping anytime soon. "Keeping the mood alive?"

She sips her soda, knowing exactly what his plans are, and he is slowly, but surely winning. By the time his foot makes it all the way up to her inner thighs and hits that sweet spot, she squirms in her seat before announcing, "Men's room. Now."

"As in?" He's still looking at her dumbfoundedly, as she works hard to push herself out of the seat. He had been planning on getting her excited to go later, not this exact minute.

"Are you coming or not?" she asks, turning around to stare at him.

"I won't be the only one coming in a few minutes," he quips. She wants to be mad, but a smirk ends up cracking on her face instead.

"Shut up!" she replies, as she turns to make her way back to the restrooms.

He quickly follows her brisk waddle to the men's room, tracing her steps into the last stall, because there is no way he is going to miss this.

As soon as he joins her in the small space and closes the door, she grabs his neck and pulls him into a passionate kiss.

"What's gotten into you?" he pulls away to ask.

"You," she responds quickly, pulling him right back to her. "Pun definitely intended."

Then it's a flurry of pants falling to the floor and some creative positioning to make the small space work. She ends up with her hands on the wall, bent over, with him in the small space behind her. But it works, and to her surprise, it is the most comfortable position she's been in all day.

It ends up being as frantic and quick as bathroom stall at the bar sex used to be, and before they know it, they are moaning in pleasure together and floating back down from the high.

They hurry to get dressed, not wanting to get caught, but he pulls her in for a kiss before they leave.

"I love you," he murmurs sweetly.

"I love you too."

They sneak out of the bathroom, with Barney first to scope out the situation. He's half way out when he sees the gang sitting at the booth behind their normal one, because their booth has their drinks in it, and of course, they have no idea that they're theirs. He sneaks up behind them, in an attempt to surprise them.

"Hey guys! What's wrong with the normal booth?" he asks coyly, smirking in his usual fashion.

At that moment, a chorus of questions comes ringing out simultaneously from the group.

"What are you doing here?" Lily asks.

"Why aren't you home with Robin?" Ted questions.

"Barney?" Marshall and Tracy shout out, because it's all they can think of.

"Good news!" Barney exclaims.

"Oh my god she had the baby and you didn't tell us?!" Lily interrogates, jumping to conclusions.

"No Lily," Robin announces, waddling out of the door from the bathroom. "I'm pretty sure I'm still pregnant."

"What!?" everyone shouts at once.

"Robin! Oh my God!" Lily manages to squeak out. "Why are you here?"

"Well first, you want to go to the usual booth?" Barney asks them.

"That's your stuff?" Tracy questions skeptically.

"Yeah," Barney confirms. They all move to the next booth, with Lily and Marshall sliding all the way in, allowing both the very pregnant women to have the end booth seats, with Ted and Barney pulling up chairs to the end of the table.

"Sorry, I had to pee. We thought we'd claim the booth first," Robin adds, smirking guiltily. Of course, now thinking about it, she does have to pee.

"I've got that," Lily sympathizes, before turning the question on them, "but why was Barney with you?"

"Yeah, and why did you come out of the men's room?" Ted insinuates.

They share a guilty look at that. They thought they hadn't been caught.

"You guys were having sex!" Tracy accuses.

"Yeah," they both murmur guilty, confirming the entire group's suspicion.

"But you aren't supposed to do that!" Lily reprimands. She's so disappointed in them. They had done so well for the baby. "Can't you two keep your hands off each other?"

"Geeze! Relax, Lily," Barney scorns.

"We had a doctor appointment this afternoon," Robin explains. "And since I'm at full term, they said I could have a bit of reprieve from bed rest."

"Let me guess," Marshall theorizes. "You guys took that as an invitation to bang all afternoon."

"Yep," Barney announces proudly.

A collective chorus of groans overtakes the group. Barney and Robin were bad enough to deal with when they could have sex all the time, but now that they are back to it, there will be a whole lot more sexual tension to deal with.

"Let's not make this like when you just got engaged and you couldn't keep your hands off of each other again," Lily begs.

"We won't," Robin agrees.

"Promise?" Lily asks.

"Promise," Barney confirms. That's part of what the last few months taught them. They could control themselves if they really need to. Of course, the bar here is not one of these places.

"You know, I propose a toast," Ted announces, and actually, no one rolls their eyes. All being here together is something to celebrate. "This could be the last time that we are all here like this for a really long time." They think about it, and it's true. She could be in the hospital tomorrow, and it will be a while before they are able to go to the bar again. "I think we should take a moment and acknowledge that our lives are going to change, and they are going to change for the better. To our future children."

They all clink glasses, and enjoy the sentiments of the toast and the company around them. 

* * *

 It was great to surprise the gang, and a legendary night. Of course, the bathroom stall sex was high up there, but seeing the looks on their faces when they came out of the bathroom together was priceless. And it was even better to hang out one last time at MacLaren's together before they all become parents.

But an even better memory was two days later, on that Monday.

He knew that he wanted to take a few weeks off once the baby was born, and then he would go back to work for a few weeks, to catch up on some projects, before he would become a stay at home dad for a while. Of course, he was already ready to leave any day, since they were so close to her due date. Still, he never expected to take off before she was born. However, that day, it all changed.

* * *

_Ten days earlier_

It's almost seven, and it's been a long day. He's very much looking forward to seeing Robin tonight. It's been a hard day at work, and now that they are having regular sex again, or even more than regular sex, he finds himself craving it more. He had been raring to go again since he left this morning.

It's weird to imagine now, but he has it in the back of his mind that Robin could be anywhere in the apartment. She wouldn't be confined to the bed, so more than likely, she would be as far away from there as possible. So needless to say, he's a bit surprised when she's not in the living room. He slowly walks towards the bedroom, actually fearing the worst, like she's in labor. He picks up the pace when he hears her moaning.

He hurriedly opens the door, and sees the real reason for her moans. She's on the bed naked, lying on her side, facing the giant wall TV that is playing one of his favorite porn movies. She has her top leg bent up in the air, leaving him a direct view between her legs, where he can see multiple fingers disappearing in and out.

He listens to her moan and watches her for a moment. He's almost sure that she has no idea that he's here, which should make her impending orgasm spectacular, since she gets off on being watched. He takes another step to where she can see him before he clears his throat.

And then just as he thought, she notices his presence, and she instantly shudders, losing all control. He watches he spasm, loving every second, knowing that soon he is going to need her too. He waits until she collapses before making any sort of move.

"What was that Scherbatsky?" he teases from afar. She knows his appearance is what pushed her over the edge, but she isn't willing to admit that just yet.

"Nothing," she squeaks out.

"No you little minx," he plays, slowly getting close enough to run his hand over her thighs. "That was amazing!" He's not stretching the truth one bit. Seeing her on the bed like that was one of the most amazing things he's ever seen.

"Yeah," she admits with a coy smile. "It was."

"I'm declaring it right now," he announces. She looks at him with utter curiosity. "I am never going back to work again."

"Ummm, why?" She's confused and afraid of what this could mean this time.

"Cause I'm not going to waste another moment at work while you are here, horny as hell," he says erotically. He starts taking off his shirt, and then his pants, just enjoying the sight of Robin naked on the bed.

Once he's naked, she's quick to pull him on the bed and climb on top of him, ready for a rough ride.

And as he glances at the TV as he watches Robin ride him, he can't help but wonder what sort of divine intervention brought him here.

* * *

 

And if that wasn't enough, there was the one day this week.

A lunchtime conversation about the previous night's position had prompted an afternoon viewing of some of their favorite homemade movies. That of course led to trying to recreate their all-time favorite, and of course, that meant making a new one, because they were only going to get to do this pregnant sex thing once. Robin wasn't so keen on the idea at first, but it didn't take him long to convince her that someday she'd want the moment for a memory. 

* * *

_Three days earlier_

He is still inside her, waiting for her to stop trembling. She's hot from every angle, but from this one he can barely even see the baby bump. That was one for the record books. It's a good thing he convinced her to record that one. He's willing to bet it could compete with quite a few videos on the internet. The way she kept throwing herself back toward him was amazing. Just seeing her here like this, still on her hands and knees, is almost enough to make him want to do it again.

Suddenly, she pulls away and rolls over onto her back, scooting up to the pillows to prop herself up. He can tell from her face that something is wrong. When she reaches for her stomach, it bothers him even more. He moves closer to her, just to make sure she's okay.

"What's wrong?" Barney asks, extremely concerned for the way that she is clutching her upper stomach.

"Nothing," she brushes off. "Just having a bit of trouble breathing." She starts pushing downward on the top of her stomach.

"You sure?" he asks again, still skeptical.

"Yeah," she confirms look at him before looking down and asking, "can you just move down?"

"Sure," he answers. He knew that he had gotten a little close to her, between his worry and his craving for closeness after sex. So he immediately backs away, giving her some room.

"No, not you," she scolds. "Brianna. I meant Brianna. I have a foot in my lungs."

"Oh," he giggles, getting closer to her again. "Oh." It's actually kind of funny, but he doesn't laugh because he can tell Robin is in pain.

"I think that maybe we were a little too rough," she speculates.

"How can we be too rough?" he questions. "I thought that there wasn't such a thing as too rough." Yes, that time was certainly rough. She kept asking for it harder. It's not like he can say no to that kind of a request.

"I didn't think so either," she answers, "but it feels like she got as far away as possible from you."

"Here, let me try," he offers. He thinks that maybe, just maybe, he can talk her down. "Hey baby girl. Sorry about the ride there," he laughs. "I didn't mean for it to be so rough. Maybe you can move down a little bit for mommy?" He rubs on her stomach, trying to move her down, and she still doesn't budge. "Come on little girl. I'm really excited to meet you," he says softly, before a huge grin covers his face. He just came up with a wonderful idea. "Will you move if I sing you a song?"

She can't help but laugh at him. She has no idea how that will help, but he's so endearing, she can't help but want him to try.

"Sandcastles in the saaaand!" Barney croons, and she's all giggles. Of course she should have been expecting that.

"Barney," she scolds unconvincingly, laughing the entire time. "Come on. It hurts to laugh."

"Thought I could fly when you held my hand," he continues, mocking her with every note, but she loves it. Almost just as much as he loves mocking her.

"Stop," she pleads again, until, she starts to feel Brianna move. "Wait, it's working!"

"Eternity turns to black and white," he continues to sing. She sighs, feeling Brianna finally move down all the way, leaving her breathing intact. "It's been the greatest week and a half of my life."

"Those aren't the words," she mumbles, looking at him with questioning in her eyes.

"I know. I just wanted to tell you that this has been the greatest week and a half of my life," he answers sweetly. She starts to tear up, because it confirms everything that she loves about him. They really have gotten to be themselves.

"Mine too," she agrees, feeling much better, until Brianna moves again. "Well great," she moans. "Right from one to the other."

"Huh?" Barney questions, not understanding at all.

"Now she's on my bladder."

He watches her go as she rushes out of the room on her way to the bathroom.

* * *

 He wasn't lying. It's been one of the greatest weeks of his life. It's just the two if them for who knows how much longer, and they are getting the chance to enjoy it as normal people. It feels so freeing. But now he's ready. He's ready for her to be here now. He's ready to be a dad. Maybe it's that he'd come to regret seeing Robin so uncomfortable. He just wants to make the world better for her. He'd do anything for her.

* * *

 To her, the last week had been a world of difference from the last six months. Between getting to leave the apartment and the sex, she feels like she's been in heaven, even if it makes her slightly sad that her whole pregnancy couldn't have been that way.

Even though they finally are able to have sex again, it isn't the quite the same as it used to be. Yes, it's sex and yes it's still amazing, but it feels so different. She can feel a difference in her hormones. Some parts of her are more sensitive, others less. Most of the time, she ends up having to pee in the middle. She doesn't mind it that much though. Just being able to have sex at all makes up for it.

Her breast had definitely changed too, and not just in size and shape, but in a getting ready to feed a baby way. They are sore and tender, and sort of even ready for feedings. Afterward, she always felt a bit wetter there, which was completely foreign and new. It was almost as if all the dampness in her body moved from one place to the other. They had certainly needed their lube dispenser, and Barney had even gone as far as reinstalling it on the headboard.

But any sex is still a positive. It had been entirely too long. Yes, it was worth not doing it for the baby, but still, she missed it tremendously, and she knows that Barney did too.

But she does love the way that Barney plows into her from behind. Sure she loved it before, but everything about her being on her hands and knees is heavenly. All the weight of Brianna is off her back and on the bed. Her sore boobs hang down and gravity doesn't feel as bad. Her aching back feels better with the way that Barney grabs on when he thrusts. And the hormones. The lust and the hormones that surge through her just make everything go away. Everywhere she read said that sex during this late in pregnancy hurts, and she guesses that if they didn't have the handy dispenser, she might agree. But plain and simple, she couldn't. Maybe it was the fact that she couldn't have sex during the rest of her pregnancy. Maybe she was just a more sexually expressive woman. But she loves it. She wanted sex all the time, the whole pregnancy, and now, with him being home and with the green light from the doctor, he could give it to her.

The thing was, that other than sex, not a whole lot happened this week. Almost the entire week was about sex. They didn't even celebrate Valentine 's Day like they could have. They ended up spending the entire day in bed together naked, ordering in brunch and dinner.

But it was Barney's made up holiday that was special to her this year, the one she used to hate. She still hated the old idea of it, but this year was different.

* * *

  _Five days earlier_

"Happy Desperation Day!" Barney exclaims as he brings Robin her breakfast that morning. She's still half asleep, and the announcement makes her groan in annoyance. All she wants out of today is to have a healthy, normal baby come out of her. It is her due date after all. "What?"

"First if all it's my due date, and it's not to be celebrated as that anymore," she explains, annoyed about being woken up more than anything. "And second of all. The holiday is about gullible drunk chicks, who you don't need any more." He can understand that, but in his mind it still works, for a number of reasons.

"Oh see," he says cockily, "I think you are desperate. You," he accuses, pointing directly at her, "can't get enough of me lately."

"You are right," she agrees playfully. "This is Desperation Day indeed. I'm desperate. Can you get her out of me already?" she asks, pointing to her stomach. "I'm so over this."

"I thought you didn't mind," he says.

"I didn't. Not until a few days ago," she explains. "But I don't think you understand how much I ache. Yes, I'm going to be a little bummed that she's not going to be a part of me anymore. But I'm ready. I'm ready to not be pregnant anymore."

"We could schedule an induction if that's what you really want," he reminds her.

"No I don't want to do that, if I don't have to," she answers, before drawling out scintillatingly, "What I really want is to forget about this bimbo holiday and have some dirty depraved sex with you before I can't for a while again."

"I knew there was a reason I married you." 

* * *

_2/19/15_

_Well readers, here I am, still writing to you. Almost one week past my due date, and there is still no sign of baby girl. She seems bound and determined to make her appearance when she feels good and ready._

_We are getting to the point that we are going to start trying the traditional home remedies for starting labor. Most of them I won't mind, but I am certainly not looking forward to the castor oil. No thank you. I'd rather put up with her for another two weeks._

_ Regardless, I hope that this is my last update for you. It can't go much past this. I hope that you are five hundred percent more comfortable than I am. _


	50. Around the Block

"So tomorrow's the day," Barney says as they go for a walk around the city, to see if they can speed up labor. It's Thursday afternoon, and the longer the week has gone on, the more uncomfortable Robin has gotten. But regardless, they know they have one more day. Natural or not, she's going to be at the hospital tomorrow.

"Yeah," Robin sighs. She's really hoping that they end up at the hospital sometime before her scheduled induction. She doesn't really want to deal with those drugs.

"You nervous?" he asks, just trying to read her mind and be supportive.

"Maybe a little," she answers. She is a bit nervous, but at this point she's ready. "I'm just ready to get her out at this point." It's actually ironic because she's not scared about labor anymore, like she was a few months ago. She just wants it to be over and done with. "I'm tired of being pregnant."

He's silent for a moment as he absorbs the information. He's glad she's calmer about it. He wishes he could feel the same way.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Barney asks.

"Sure," she answers, wondering what he could possibly have to tell her.

"I'm a little nervous too," he admits. He does feel a little bit strange pouring his heart out to her on the sidewalk like this.

"You?" she questions skeptically. "Nervous?"

"Yeah," he sighs. In a way, he's incredibly nervous. There is a lot that can happen, and the longer that goes on, the worse the feeling has been getting for him.

"It's okay to be nervous you know," she tells him, "as long as it's a good nervous."

"It's a good nervous, I think," he replies. He's not sure that's the case though. He wishes that were the case. "I'm just worried about the two of you and how everything is going to go."

"It will all be fine," she tries to convey, but she's not sure she's convincing. He's right. There is still a lot that could go wrong.

"I know, I keep telling myself that, but you never know," he counters. He doesn't want to think about it, but it's true. "There are still women that don't make it through, and babies that don't make it."

"Barney, I know, but you have to look at the positives," she affirms. "The odds of those things happening are low."

"I know," he sighs, still extremely bothered by the thought of losing either one of them. "That doesn't mean that I don't worry about losing you."

The way he says that instantly overwhelms her. Barney says a lot of sweet things to her, but the idea of him worrying about losing her just overtakes her emotions.

"You know there is a possibility that you are still going to have to change this stone," she says, pointing to her necklace, and changing the subject from sappy things she'd rather not think about.

"No there isn't," he replies confidently. "You are going in on the 27th. She isn't going to be born in March."

"You do realize that when women are induced it can take a while," she pauses, allowing him to take it all in. "Like a long while. Sometimes it takes 36 hours."

"It'll be fine Robin," he brushes off. There is no way it's going to take three days. She can tell by the look on his faces that he's missing the even bigger picture.

"How many days does February have?" she asks.

"Thirty?" he answers like its so obvious.

"Damn it Barney!" she shouts. Every time he messes up dates. It's a wonder he remembers any dates. Like the Borat costume from Halloween 2006. "Why do you always mess this one up?"

He catches his error almost instantly when she yells. He's messed up the number of days in the month again.

"Crap, it's only twenty-eight isn't it?" he questions, almost rhetorically.

"Yes," she spits out obviously.

"If I have to change it, I have to change it," he shrugs, turning his attention away from his shortcomings and back to the issue at hand. "I'll just be happy to have her here. I guess if that happens, then she'll share a birth month with the Mosby spawn."

"That's true," Robin chuckles. She hopes in a way that it doesn't end up happening that way, because she'd rather have Brianna have her own special day. "Although it's a shame it's not a leap year," she theorizes out loud. "February twenty-ninth for a birthday would be awesome!"

"That would have been so awesome!" he agrees wholeheartedly. It definitely would have made her special.

"But whenever she's born is fine with me," Robin compromises, "as long as she's healthy."

"Yeah."

"I'm gonna miss having sex again though," she admits. It had only been three weeks, but she was so used to it already.

"You can say that again," he agrees. "But you remember Marshall and Lily? How tired they were?" She does remember. She spent a lot of time with them those first couple of weeks to distract herself from the whole engagement. Frankly, she's not sure that Barney remembers quite how sleep deprived they both were. She seemed to be the only one that noticed at the time. "It's not like we'd have a lot of time the first couple of weeks anyway."

"I guess you are right," she sighs. "That's going to be us isn't it?" she asks, now worried about the next few weeks. She had honestly forgotten about it until now. They are screwed. "We are going to be the zombies."

"Yeah," he answers meekly. He's afraid she's entirely right. They are going to be awful over the next few weeks. "I feel like we should do something spontaneous, like go see a movie or something, you know, while we still can."

"We ARE only a block away from the theater."

"Let's go then!" he shouts picking up the pace, until he realizes he was walking slow for a reason, and that reason is Robin.

"What's even playing?" she asks. She hadn't followed anything since she found out, since she knew she couldn't go anyway. She just figured there was no point.

"I don't know," he answers. "I think we may still be able to catch Wedding Bride four."

"There was a Wedding Bride four?!" God she felt so out of the loop. Surely someone would have told her about that. Ted didn't even call her to whine.

"Yeah, Ted was complaining about it the other night at the bar when you went to the bathroom," he explains.

"Yeah, we've got to go see that!" she exclaims.

"Of course," he replies. "And it's our last chance to act like teenagers in the back row," he winks, one hundred percent implying at least some hanky-panky. "OOOOO! It will kinda be like getting it on in front of Ted!"

"God, I love you!" she giggles. He really is her perfect man.

"I love you too, Scherbatsky! Let's go see that movie!"

* * *

_2/26/15_

_Tomorrow is the day! If she doesn't decide to make an appearance on her own in the next twenty eight hours, she will have no choice but to come out. I am scheduled for an induction tomorrow at 7 pm._

_I am really hoping to avoid be induced, since I've reading plenty of stories about it being a longer and more painful process. I would much rather have it happen on its own, even though it means tempting fate, which I don't really like to believe in._

_At the same time, however, I am more than ready to get her out of me. I am quite tired of the aches and pains, and the longer this continues, the more everything seems to hurt. I am ready to move on to being a mom now, as scary as that sounds._

_ But I promise this time that my next post will be about the birth of my baby, not about another week in the life of me. No matter what happens and how she decides to make her way into this world, she will be here by this time next week. _


	51. The Birth

_Thursday, February 26, 2015_

_7 pm_

It's Thursday night, the eve of her 42nd week. They had spent the day enjoying themselves: a walk, sex, the Wedding Bride movie, an early dinner out, and more sex. It had been a lovely day for Robin, considering the situation.

Everything is uncomfortable for her. Everything. She reminds herself that this is the last night. Tomorrow, come hell or high water, they are going to get this process started. It still may be a few days before Brianna is actually born, but it doesn't matter. It will at least feel like she's working towards something. Right now she's just in limbo land, and she hates limbo land. Limbo land doesn't let her be in control, and she'd much rather be in control.

Even sex isn't exciting anymore. It has started to hurt. But they've kept doing it, because it's supposed to start labor, and at this point, she'll do anything.

She's lying on her side, with him still inside of her from behind, still coming down from the high of her orgasm. She feels the familiar tightness around the baby as she starts to relax. She doesn't think anything of it, that is until she realizes that it hasn't gone away like it normally does. But between him rolling away from her and them turning on the TV to catch up on some shows on the DVR, she forgets about it and it goes away.

Then 20 minutes later, she's propped up on pillows, watching the latest Game of Thrones, and she feels it again. She feels the same tightening, only this time, it isn't from sex. She's never had one this long after sex. It can't be anything other than a contraction.

"Do you know what time it was when we finished?" she asks Barney. She didn't think about looking at the clock at the time.

"Sex?" he questions, not following her train of thought. She nods in confirmation. "Not for certain, maybe about twenty minutes," he answers. "We're about fifteen minutes into the episode. Why?"

"I think that I might be having contractions," she answers.

"Really?" he asks excitedly, perking up and almost jumping off the bed in excitement.

"I had a longer one than normal after sex but I didn't think anything of it at the time," she explains. "But I just had another one."

"Did it hurt?" he asks, because he's curious. All he's ever seen of childbirth is from TV and movies.

"Not too much," she shrugs. If she's honest, it didn't even hurt. It wasn't the most comfortable feeling in the world, but she wouldn't have called it painful.

"Okay," he replies. He's nervous and excited, but he's heard about false alarms, so he doesn't want to get his hopes up. "Let's keep watching and see what happens."

"Sounds like a plan. It's 7:32. Whenever the next one comes, we can figure it out," she sighs. She's ready to get her mind off of it again for a while.

They get wrapped up in the fight for the kingdom, and in what seems like five minutes, she feels it again. It's tighter this time, but still not incredibly painful. It does cause her to breathe heavily, grabbing Barney's attention. He stares at her for the thirty seconds it takes her to speak.

"What time is it now?" she questions.

Barney looks at his watch and answers, "7:51."

"So definitely a contraction," she mumbles. This is definitely it. It's been three in a row, about the same time apart. She's in labor.

"It's time?" Barney asks hopefully.

"I think so," she answers, breathing heavily and biting her lower lip. She doesn't want to jump the gun either. "I think this might be it."

"Alright! Let's go then," Barney announces, jumping off the bed. She doesn't follow him, and he turns to look at her with curiosity as to why she isn't moving.

"No, Barney," she reminds him. "The doctor told me to call when I felt something, remember?" she chastises. Sometimes she likes how eager he is, but right now, it's just getting on her nerves.

"Oh yeah," he mumbles. He hates that he can't pay attention. He really wishes he could remember half of the appointments the way that she remembers them.

She's on the phone and already talking by the time he's done with his mental barrage. He tries to listen in, but she's listening and only giving basic one word answers. He looks at her expectantly, until she hangs up the phone and plays with it in her hands.

"The doctor said just to monitor the contractions," she murmurs nervously. She was hoping that they'd tell her it was time to come in, even though she knew that wasn't going to happen. She just wants to get it all over with, cut to the chase and be at the hard part so it's all over. Plus, what Barney said earlier about things going wrong is now going to her head.

"That's all?" he grills. He doesn't remember the doctor appointment where she said they would be at home for a while. "No rushing to the hospital?" He wishes that he could remember. He would be much calmer right now.

"Nope," she confirms. "Not until my contractions are four minutes apart."

"And how far apart was your last one again?"

"Nineteen."

"Oh," he mumbles. He wonders just how long it's going to take until she's at that four minute mark.

"The doctor also said something about trying to sleep," Robin adds. It seems ridiculous and reasonable all at the same time. Going to bed at eight? That's absurd. But at the same time, she knows that tomorrow could be one of the longest days of her life, and sleep does seem pretty good right about now.

"So that means?" Barney asks, curious again. Why would the doctor be telling them to sleep?

"We should really probably try to sleep," Robin says. He's not sure why, but if that's what she wants, he'll do it.

So they snuggle up next to each other, regardless of how ridiculously early it seems.

* * *

_Thursday 11 pm_

He can't sleep. He tried. But he's not surprised at all. It's only eleven. Anyone who tries to go to sleep at this hour is just crazy. Unless of course, you're Robin right now. She's been so exhausted. The minute she laid down, she fell asleep, which he guesses is a good thing. If she is really having contractions, she's going to need all the sleep she can get.

He knows he needs his sleep too, because who knows how long the next day is going to be. But he's finding it impossible, especially since he can feel Robin tense at every contraction. Even when he tried lie with her and fall asleep, every time he would doze off, he would feel her contraction and it would wake him up.

He needs to be out of bed at the moment. He can't just lie here like this anymore. He's going stir crazy. He stumbles up, trying his best not to wake Robin. He tiptoes over to the desk to get his laptop, and quietly makes his way towards the living room, but he doesn't make it past the nursery. As soon as he passes the room by, he turns around and enters, admiring the peacefulness that he knows in a few short days is going to be overtaken by a bit of chaos. He figures it's still going to be a peaceful place when she sleeps through. It might even have the potential to turn into his favorite room in the apartment.

He sits down in the glider and places the computer on his lap. It's been a long time since he's written an entry for his blog, and what better of a time to write one than now. He feels that being surrounded by Brianna's stuff might finally give him some inspiration.

But yet, he doesn't know what to write. He doesn't know what to write to make it something his followers will want to see, while still making it something that's true. He wants to write something, anything, but his heart isn't in it. His heart is still in the bedroom with Robin. He never thought the day would come that he wouldn't know what to write in his blog. Maybe, just maybe if he believes in all that Ted and Tracy crap for a minute, it's the universe telling him to go join Robin in bed. After all, it's where he wants to be. He just hopes he can sleep.

* * *

_Friday, February 27, 2015_

_4 am_

He wakes up and realizes the Robin isn't in bed. The panic reminds him of a night not too long ago, right before they found about her pregnancy. Well, except that this time is worse. He's got two of them to worry about now.

He finds her in the bathroom, yet again, but this time is quite different. She's in the Jacuzzi tub, with her head back on the rim, breathing a bit heavy, letting the bubbles wash over her.

"Ummm, what are you doing?" he questions. To him, it doesn't seem like the time to be doing this.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" she snaps back. He wasn't quite expecting the sarcasm, but he should have known that. She's always got a mean streak when she's in pain.

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" he asks. He's drowsy now. He was hoping to get to sleep all night, but he guesses it's ironic. The baby isn't even here yet and she is already keeping him up.

"I couldn't sleep," Robin admits. "The warm water is supposed to ease the contractions a bit." It's not like it's a bad pain, but it feels good to her to be in the water. "Do you wanna join me?"

"It's four in the morning. Are you crazy?" he chides, looking at her like she has two heads. Now is not the time to be joining her in a bathtub. There are more pressing matters now that he's up. "When was your last contraction?"

"A while ago," she dismisses, not really caring at this point. She knows they aren't even close to four minutes yet. "They aren't close yet. Don't worry."

"You know I'm going to worry," he says, running his hand through his hair. He's getting a little exasperated at her nonchalance about this. She's having a baby for crying out loud. Isn't she worried? He's personally freaking out, but he's not going to tell her that. So he'll do the second best. He'll micromanage. "What time was it at?"

"I don't know," she shrugs, just barely lifting her shoulders out of the water.

"Fine," he huffs. "I'll lay in here with you and time them."

He grabs a towel and balls it up, before he lies down on the floor, putting it under his head as a pillow. The tile is cold on the bare skin of his arms, but he's so worried about Robin, he doesn't even seem to care.

"Painful yet?" he asks, uncomfortable with the silence between them.

"Ehh," she shrugs. "Sort of. It's not as bad as I thought it was going to be." Everyone she knows that has had a baby made such a big deal over childbirth and how painful it was. Yeah, it's not like running through a meadow, but it doesn't compare to the pain of being checked against the boards by a six foot two, two hundred pound hockey player. She'd take this any day.

"I can't believe it's time," he murmurs to himself.

"I just want to wake up tomorrow and have her here," she adds. She'd just rather skip this whole labor thing.

"That would be nice wouldn't it?" he agrees. If only they could just sleep through it all and wake up when she's here.

She tenses up slightly at the feeling of another contraction. He takes mental note of the time, 4:27 am, and takes her hand. She squeezes it, riding out the rest of the contraction. They are still short. It's all over in thirty seconds or so.

He lies back down on the tile floor, and stares at the ceiling. He listens to her humming, and starts to drift back to sleep.

"Ooh. another one," she says quickly and breathily. "Time?"

He sits up quickly, checking his watch. 4:37.

"Ten minutes," he announces. "You okay in here?" he asks as he starts to get up to leave. He really just wants to head back to bed.

"I think so," she answers sadly. He can tell that she doesn't want him to go, but she's too afraid to ask.

"You want me to stay?"

"Yeah," she admits.

He lays a towel on the floor, sits back down, and curls up on the tile floor, preparing for a long night. He's going to feel this in the morning for sure.

* * *

_Friday 5 am_

He awoken by sounds of splashing water and opens his eyes to see her trying to get herself up out of the tub.

"What's up?" he asks, wondering why she's so insistent on getting up now.

"Water's cold."

"So what's next?" he questions. He seems to just be along for the ride.

"Going back to bed for a bit," she mutters, already seemingly exhausted.

"Okay," he answers, as he watches her continue to struggle to stand.

"Can you help me stand up?" she begs. He hasn't seen her this dependent in a while. She's wanted to do a lot for herself in the past few weeks. She said it had something to do with gaining her independence back, whatever that meant. She was always independent to him. Nothing would ever change that. It's what he loves about her.

"Sure."

Between holding her up, and having to get in the tub to help her out, he ends up just as wet as he would have been if he just had gotten in with her in the first place. He's going to have to change. That's what he gets for wearing his Armani sweats to bed tonight.

He grabs them both a towel, and strips off his soaking wet clothes. He helps her dry off, before drying off himself. He helps her walk back to the bed and gets her situated, making sure she's comfortable. He doesn't move from her side until he notices that she's dozing. Then and only then, does he think about getting new clothes and cuddling up beside her.

* * *

 

_Friday 7 am_

"How long was that one?" he asks. They have been up for a few minutes, but they are still lying in bed, trying to relax.

"Five minutes," she replies. The waiting is torture. She just wants to be at four minutes already.

"God if only Lily would have been this slow," he moans, recalling the day that he was stuck in Atlantic City with Marshall. "Then that wouldn't have been as much of a fiasco."

"Yeah, then I wouldn't have passed out in the delivery room," she remembers. Then it hits her. "Oh god," she starts to hyperventilate. "That's going," she breathes heavily. "To be me in a couple of hours. Oh god." She hangs her head in her hands, and at that moment, a contraction courses through her body. The contractions are now at a point that they are painful, but it's still nowhere near the worst pain she's ever experienced. It leaves her out of breath, but somewhat calmer.

"Why don't we eat something?" Barney suggests.

"Like what?" she questions skeptically. Eating something is the last thing on her mind right now. She can't believe he is even suggesting eating something.

"I don't know," he shrugs. He's quite proud of himself though. Of all the things he learned from the baby book, this may be the only one that she didn't know: Women are supposed to eat a small meal in the early stage of labor so they have energy for later when they may not be allowed to eat. He doesn't want to act smug in knowing it, so he casually suggests something. "Maybe a granola bar or something? You are going to need some energy for later."

"If I eat something, can we go to the hospital?" she counters. She just wants to leave now. "Not that I'm feeling bad pain yet, but I'm don't feel like it's far away." He knows it's a big deal for her to admit to being in any sort of pain. She always thinks that she has to be tough, even around him.

"Yeah. That's fine," he agrees, because he figures that by the time they are ready to go, she'll be pretty close to four minutes.

She climbs out of the bed, slower than ever. He follows her to the kitchen, where she sits down and he procures some of the granola bars they have stashed in the back of the cabinet. He realizes now that he's probably going to have to get Lily to do some shopping for them, since they have almost no food in the house. The last thing they are going to want to do is try to go shopping with a baby, when they don't go shopping that much to begin with.

He hands her one of the bars. She tears it open, and the minute she smells the sweetness, her hunger kicks in. She starts to devour it almost immediately.

"I do have a question for you," she announces with a mouthful.

"Hmm?" he mumbles, also with a mouthful, but choosing to use his manners instead.

She swallows and then asks, "you're going to wear that suit?"

"Yeah, why?" he asks incredulously. The suit he chose to put on this morning is one of his favorites. He thinks he looks amazing in it, and he couldn't imagine wearing anything else to welcome his daughter into the world.

"You do realize that she's not going to come out wrapped in a blanket and smelling of roses right?" she questions, right before taking another bite.

"Uh, yeah?" He knew that. Of course he knew that. He just may have forgotten in his haste this morning. Okay, he forgot altogether.

"You really want to ruin Arturius?" she questions again. "He's one of your favorites."

"I guess you do have a point," he admits. She's right. He doesn't want anything to happen to Arturius, but he doesn't really want to not wear a suit. It is an important occasion after all.

Halfway back to the bedroom, it occurs to him. He was just about to retire Bromulus anyway. Wouldn't it be a noble way for him to go?

* * *

_Friday 9 am_

"Alright. That was four minutes," Barney declares. After changing, he had convinced her to sit on the couch and catch up on some hockey highlights, while waiting for her contractions to get closer together. She surprisingly finds a rerun of a game, and at this point is so invested, she isn't even really concerned about the contractions.

"Really?" she questions. "They don't seem that much closer together." She hadn't even noticed. She hasn't seen a game between the Leafs and the Rangers in a long time, and she has every intention of getting to the end of the very close game. Without a doubt, Barney had succeeded in distracting her.

"It is," he confirms. "I even used the stopwatch app this time. You want to see?"

"No, I believe you," she answers. "I just am not in pain right now. It doesn't seem like we should be heading for the hospital yet." Barney is just slightly annoyed. Less than two hours ago, he had to talk her out of leaving for the hospital. Now here she is, so invested in the game that she doesn't even realize it.

"Yes, but it's time," he announces. He's glad she's been distracted, but now he's anxious. He has to get her to that hospital. He gets up from his spot beside her to turn off the TV. She groans.

"I know," she sighs. "Let's go."

* * *

_Friday 10 am_

"This is a really nice room," Robin coos in awe once she settles in. She's already in the horrible baby blue hospital robe, but she's managed to relax in the recliner near the window.

"Of course," Barney agrees. "That's why we picked this hospital, remember?" They had had the choice of two hospitals, both of which the doctor was affiliated with. She didn't get to come on the tour, but he found this one to be much nicer. The other hospital was good too, but in this hospital, they could stay in one room for the entire process, and there was even a bed for him to sleep in. He had filled in Robin later, but it was her choice as well.

"I know. It's just so homey," she sighs. It doesn't feel like a room that should be in a hospital, at least to her. She has a large bed, a private bathroom with a tub, and a great view of the skyline. Plus, there is a couch, a recliner, and a regular bed, perfect for when the gang stops by to visit, and Barney stays the night. She couldn't have asked for a better place.

"It's a little too colorful for me," he replies. The white walls were a plus to the other hospital, at least in his opinion.

"It's a birthing suite," she chides. "It's supposed to look like a baby's room, not a grey monotonous blob." Even though she loves him, she would never understand Barney's obsession with all the fifty shades between black and white.

"I thought you liked the fortress," he grumbles, with his brow raised.

"I do, but not everyone does," she answers honestly. "Most people like some color in their life."

At that moment, mostly because he's tired of talking about the wall color, he realizes that they should probably let the gang know they are here.

"I'm gonna go call the gang. Is that okay?" he asks.

"Yeah," she sighs. "Can you tell them not to come yet?"

"Sure?" he questions skeptically. Yes, they hadn't talked about when they would be calling their friends, or if they would even be there, but he can't imagine not having them here for this moment.

"I think we need to do this on our own," she says with a sensitive tone. "I don't really want them all sitting outside the door for hours." It's not that she doesn't want them here, but she remembers what it was like at Marvin's birth, and that went a whole lot faster than her labor is currently progressing. She was bored to tears, just talking with Ted for the two hours after they got kicked out of the room until they could see Lily and the baby.

"Alright," he agrees. He can tell that this means a lot to her. And she's right. Not only can they do this on their own, but he remembers how boring it was when Marvin was born, and he barely made it there in time. "I'll tell them."

He walks out of the room to find the waiting room that allows phone calls. It's actually not as far away from her room as he would have expected, just a few doors down and around the corner. He quickly whips out his phone, and dials Lily's number.

"Hello?"

"Hey Lil!" Barney croons into the phone.

"Hey. What's up?" she asks, seemingly unaffected by his sing-songy voice.

"Robin's in labor," he explains, rather calmly for a man about to become a dad.

"Oh my god!" Lily exclaims. "We're on our way!" He hears some muffling in the background, and tries to catch her before she hangs up. He knows Lily can be a little too excited about their relationship sometimes, but this is a bit too much.

"Wait Lily!" he shouts a little too loudly into the phone, but she's gone. He looks at his phone, and sure enough, he sees his home screen. He has no option other than to call her back, and hope she picks up, but knowing her, she's probably already half way to the hospital by now.

"Come on pick up," he mumbles into his phone as he listens to it ring. Finally he hears her on the other end and he cuts her off before she even has the chance to speak.

"Lily," he says urgently.

"Yeah?" She's curious as to why he's called back already.

"Don't come yet."

"Why?" she questions. She's shocked that they don't want her there.

"We've decided that we don't need anyone yet," he answers, hearing her dejection. "I promise you can come sometime, just not yet. We're fine."

"Alright," she groans. "I'm not happy about this, but if you need anything, just call me."

"Will do Lil, will do."

He hangs up and then quickly dials Ted. He doesn't want to be away from Robin for another second.

"Hey Ted."

"Hey bud. What's up?" Ted asks, assuming that this is the call. He knows there is no other reason as to why Barney would be calling otherwise.

"We're at the hospital," Barney repeats.

"You want us to come over?" Ted asks. It's tradition for them to be there for a birth, but at the same time, he knows how independent they can be, and he doesn't want to step on their toes. Well, that and Tracy hasn't been feeling well. He doesn't really want to leave her.

"Nah, not yet," Barney answers causally.

"Good," Ted admits. "Because Tracy is not feeling well. Maybe she'll be a bit better later and then we can head over. Let us know."

"Sure. Hope she feels better," Barney offers.

"Yeah. Good luck man."

"Thanks."

He wastes no time in walking back to the room, letting his long legs carry him as fast as they can, without actually running.

"Done," he announces loudly as he enters the room.

"Great," she huffs completely uninterested. She's in the middle of a contraction, and she could care less if Barney is done with the phone calls or not.

He can see that she's in the middle of a contraction and he walks to the side of the bed to hold her hand.

"What did the doctor have to say?" he asks, once she has relaxed. He happened to see the doctor walk out of her room on the way back from the waiting room.

"Not much," she shrugs, not caring particularly. "I'm at five centimeters. She asked me if I wanted pain meds. I said no." He looks at her in shock. It takes a few seconds to sink in that she denied pain meds.

"You said no?" he queries, with almost a screech. It's almost too much for him to believe.

"Yeah," she dismisses. She's still not in a great deal of pain, and at this point, she doesn't see the point of risking the side effects to Brianna to save herself the trouble.

"Why exactly?" he queries. He doesn't see the point of not having pain medication. If he could take away some of the pain, he would immediately, both for himself and for her.

"Because I'm not in that much pain," she replies.

"You sure about that?" he questions.

"Not bring in that much pain?" she asks curiously.

"No, not wanting pain meds," he clarifies.

"Yes I'm sure," she insists. "Lily was already in a lot of pain by this point," she explains. "The pain is not really getting worse either. I'll be fine. Besides, all Scherbatakys have a really high pain tolerance, and this way, Brianna doesn't get any of the bad side effects. I'll be fine," she insists again.

"Alright. If that's what you want."

He's incredibly uneasy about her denying the pain meds, especially since they didn't discuss it. He can see this all going downhill really fast, and she'll be begging for drugs when it's too late. Plus, she's doing this to prove something and he doesn't like it. He just hopes she comes around soon, before it's too late.

* * *

_Friday 12 pm_

"Finally," she sighs. "We're alone." For the last few hours, Robin's contractions had progressively gotten worse. She is now at the point of true pain. She does kind of regret not getting some drugs, but she'll survive.

"Yeah and?" he questions.

"I need you to do something for me," she beseeches.

"Yeah?"

"Play with my nipples," she demands.

"WHAT?" he exclaims. That was not what he was expecting to come out of her mouth. Honestly, he's even a little bit appalled. She can't possibly mean that.

"Just do it!" she enjoins.

"But you are in labor," he counters, almost speechlessly. "This is not the time for sex."

"Just shut up and do it!" she snarls. He does as he's told, because he doesn't want to stand in her way.

"Ahhhh!" she moans at the beginning of the contraction. She breathes heavy and barely makes her way through.

"What was that about?" he cajoles.

"It's something I read online a couple of months back," she admits, a bit embarrassed by the thought.

"And what is that exactly?"

"It's called an orgasmic birth," she explains. At the time, she was researching birthing options, and came across some unusual ideas. She had to dismiss most of them right away, such as water births, or home births, because she had a high risk pregnancy. And even the ones that were hospital based seemed out of reach, since she assumed that she would be going into labor early. But even so, this one stuck in the back of her mind. The thing that she liked most about it was she could use some of it while in the hospital, regardless of the type of delivery.

"Orgasmic birth?" It seems like such an oxymoron to him. How can you even mix those two words together? He's sure that everyone would agree with him on that.

"Yes. It's the idea that you make your baby's birth a pleasurable experience, instead of a painful one." He lets it sink in for a moment. The more he ponders it, the less absurd it sounds. It actually kind of makes sense.

"And why did you wait to tell me about this until now?" he asks.

"Because I never thought that we would end up being relaxed enough to use it," she sighs. "It's usually only a part of home births, which wasn't an option for us. I always assumed that I'd be induced and or on so many drugs or have complications so I could never use it, so I thought it was pointless to bring up."

"And you want to do this?" he questions. He doesn't mind being a part of it, but he wants to make sure that she really wants to have this be a part of their baby's birth.

"Yes, I'm sure," she answers. "It helped with the last contraction."

"Is this why you didn't want the drugs?"

"Partly," she admits. She did realize that it was a part of it, especially when she wasn't having that much pain. She did want the chance to experience it, so when she had the chance, she took it.

"You do realize if you had told me earlier, I would have been completely on board," he replies.

"Again," she counters, "didn't think I would be able to use it."

"Okay this is going to be a stupid question, but what is it about exactly?" he asks. He thinks he understands, but he's not entirely sure.

"It's not a stupid question. You try to make the experience pleasurable. You do stimulating things to release hormones, which helps control the pain," she clarifies. "It's only an overtly sexual thing if you want it to be."

In a weird way, it does make sense to him.

"Again," she mumbles, before tensing up. He does the same thing as last time, and she relaxes a bit as soon as his fingers touch her. She smiles at him once it's over. She can't quite believe how much it helps the pain.

"And then of course there are the women that report having birth orgasms," she adds.

"Birth orgasms?"

"Birth Orgasms," she restates. "Like they actually orgasm during pushing."

"Oh my god," he mumbles. He's actually slightly horrified by that thought. He may be considered a sex addict by a lot of people, but that even seems a bit too far for him. "That might have been more than I needed to know."

"You? TMI? Really?" she scoffs. "It's not something you can control," she scolds, before asking, "So you gonna help me or not?"

"I guess," he answers. The whole idea still kind of freaks him out, but he'll do it to make her feel better.

"No," she insists. "No I guess. I'm the one pushing out the Lambracuzzi here." He can't help but smile at her reference to his dream car, which he once said he wanted more than kids. He couldn't have been more wrong back then. He really wants to be a father.

"I'm in. I'm always in for you."

* * *

_Friday 3 pm_

Now Robin gets it. She gets why everyone calls this the worst pain in the world. The last contraction felt like it was going to rip her apart. It was long. It was grueling. It was by far the worst pain she's ever felt in her life. Even the time in between the contractions hurts now.

"Okay!" she whispers breathily. "I take it back. I want the drugs. Get me an epidural. I don't think I want to feel this anymore," she begs, on the verge of tears. She just wants it to stop. It hurts too damn much to go on.

"You want me to go get the doctor?" he asks quickly, not particularly wanting to leave her side, but he'll do it for her.

"Yes!" she pleads.

Time goes by so slowly, that it feels like an eternity that Barney is gone. The nurse tries to get her to breathe through the contraction, but she can't. She just wants this to be over.

"I WANT AN EPIDURAL NOW!" she cries through the contraction, as the doctor walks into the room with Barney. He can't stand to see her screaming, even for thirty seconds. He watches her throw herself back on the bed, and he can't help but wish that he could switch with her for just a minute. Just to take away her pain for a while.

"I'm sorry," the doctor sympathizes. "You're at nine centimeters. It's too late for an epidural. At this point, all I can give you is some standard pain medications, but it's not going to take away the pain or the feelings completely. And based on your progress, we are a little too close to the birth for those as well. Giving you anything at this point could have a negative effect on the baby."

He watches as she clenches again, pressing her eyes shut and screaming in pain. It's awful. He hates seeing her like this. The contractions just last for so long. He tries not to panic, but watching her, he just can't imagine that this is normal. He feels that something has to be going wrong.

"Something," she breathes shakily, coming out of the contraction. "Just get me something." She barely has time to get the words out, before she's shouting, "Barney! Now!" Another contraction pulls her back away from reality. If anything has made him want to run during her pregnancy, it is watching her at this point. He can't even imagine how she is making it through.

"Are you regretting this now?" he asks after her contraction finishes again.

"Yes," she admits scornfully. "It got a bazillion times worse in the past hour alone. God I feel like I'm gonna be sick," she spits out. As if the contractions weren't bad enough, she feels so sick to her stomach.

"You're fine," he coos sweetly, trying his best to calm her down and think happy thoughts. He strokes her hair and plants a kiss on her sweaty forehead. "You are fine. You will make it through this just fine. You are a Scherbatsky."

"Thanks," she smiles weakly. "It's not helping though."

Yet another contraction tears through her body. He does his best to encourage her, and just make her comfortable. It's another long one, almost double the length of the last one.

"You're amazing Robin," he murmurs in her ear after she relaxes. "You can do this."

"Just be helpful," she growls. "Nipples."

"But nurse," he whimpers. He doesn't feel quite comfortable with this.

"I don't give a flying FUCK AT THIS POINT, BARNEY!" she screams, a contraction hitting her halfway through her appeal. "JUST FUCKING DO IT!" He does as he's told. He needs to give her what she needs to get through this, despite the dirty looks they are getting from the nurse.

When she collapses from exhaustion, he feels his phone buzz. He knows he should let it go, and keep all his focus on Robin, but it keeps buzzing. He figures that maybe it's important, and she has her eyes closed. He can get away with sneaking a peek.

When he sees texts from Ted, he figures whatever he has to say must be important. He knows they are at the hospital. There is absolutely no reason he would contact him unless he really needed to. But then again, it is Ted. It could be something pointless and stupid.

The minute he opens the texts, he wishes he could go back and not see them. Not only is Tracy in labor too, but it's going so fast for her that they are already at the hospital. There is no way that Ted and Tracy can have their baby before they have theirs. It's not fair. It's not fair to Robin, it's not fair to Bri, and it's not fair to him. They've done so much more for their baby, that they should get to have theirs first.

Then he worries about Robin. When she hears this, she is going to flip. She is going to want to give up. She going to cuss and scream and rip his head off. Why couldn't he have just left his phone alone? It would have been so much easier not to know that they were here, that they didn't have to compete for yet another pregnancy milestone with Ted and Tracy.

"Were you just checking your phone?" Robin grumbles, breaking him out of his revelry.

"No," he lies.

"Yes, you were," she implicates. "Phones are not important right now. Turn IT OFF," she turns from a deride into a scream as yet another contraction takes over all of her body. While he helps her through the contraction, he debates telling her, because it would get him off of the hook, but at the same time, he doesn't want to drop this bomb on her.

"Don't be upset," he tries to comfort.

"I shouldn't be upset," she scowls sarcastically. "Go ahead. Your phone is more important than your wife and daughter," she snaps. "That's fine."

"No, that's not what I meant," he says, choosing the path of saving his own ass. "The text I was from Ted. Ted and Tracy are here," he explains.

"Already?" she whines. "I thought we told no one to come yet."

"Tracy's in labor," he sighs heavily, just letting it out there.

"You've got to be fucKING KIDDING ME! AHHHHHHH!" she screams at the top of her lungs. Her reaction is worse than he could have imagined. Not only is she panicking, she's panicking during a contraction. Great. Just great. "SHE BETTER NOT," she pauses for a short breath. "HAVE THAT BABY." Breath. "BEFORE ME!"

"You need to breathe," he quickly reminds her.

"I AM!" she yells directly at him. "THERE IS NO." Breath. "WAY." Breath. "SHE GETS TO." Breath. "DO THAT!" she ends in a huff, "I've been in labor for twenty hours. TWENTY HOURS! I'm uncomfortable, I want to sleep, I just want this to be over," she whines, crying. He shouldn't have done this. He shouldn't have told her. She could have hated him, but he would have been protecting her. "If she has that baby before me I swear to God!"

"Calm down," he whispers soothingly into her ear. "You're almost there. She just got here. There is no way that is going to happen."

"Baby girl, you better listen to me," she announces loudly, picking her head up and talking directly at her stomach. "We are not going to lose this battle. You do not get to be younger than your cousin. You are going to do what you need to do and get out right now."

"Shhhh…" he tries to calm her down.

"AHHHHHHH," she screams again. "I WANT HER OUUUT!"

"Shhhhh," he utters, trying to remind her of what she should be doing. "Come on. You need to stay calm."

"STAY CALM?" she screams again. "HOW CAN I STAY CALM?" she huffs, the contraction ending, and her voice dropping lower. "I've been pregnant longer. She gets to be normal and have her baby before me? Na uh," she declares.

"Calm down," he reminds her. He turns to the nurse and asks, "Can we have a little bit of privacy?"

"Uh, sure," the nurse answers. "Just let me know immediately if any monitors start going off." She immediately walks out of the room, but stands right outside the door, just in case. It doesn't bother him. He just needs the short minute to bring Robin back down to earth, alone.

"Scherbatsky," he says, looking her straight in the eye. "You are having this baby, and you are doing awesome!" He reaches his hand under her hospital gown, and she moans in relief. "You only have a bit more to go. You can do it."

"But…."

"No," he insists. "You are the most amazing woman I know. You are going to get through this, and you are going to brag to the other two that you did it without drugs, because I'm the only drug you need." He waits for yet another contraction before he can continue. "And that it didn't even hurt that much in the beginning because you are just that awesome. YOU. CAN. DO. THIS."

* * *

_Friday 4 pm_

"How are you doing?" The doctor asks, finally in the room. To Barney and Robin, it feels like forever since she came into check on them, even though it had only been half an hour. She really hopes this is it though. She's ready to be done.

"Fantastic," she snarls. "Get your head out of your ass." What does the doctor think? She's in labor.

"Sorry," Barney adds. "She gets really sarcastic when she's in pain." This is one of those moments he wishes that Robin wouldn't have such a mean streak.

"A lot of women do. Let's see how you're doing here," the doctor says, while examining Robin. "The baby seems to be in a good position. She's moved down too. You're at 10 centimeters. Looks like we're ready to start pushing."

"Thank god!" Robin mutters.

"Remember, stay calm," Barney reminds her.

"Push when you feel the urge to unless I tell you to stop," the doctor tells her.

"What if I don't feel it?" she asks, panicking.

"You will," the doctor reassures.

"Oh god Barney! My body is failing me already. I don't feel like I need to push," she cries out. God, she isn't even born yet, and she's already a horrible mother. She doesn't even have the instinct to get the baby out of her.

"Relax," he utters.

"No! My body is not meant to do this!" she argues.

"Yes it is," he argues back.

"NO IT ISN'T. THERE IS A REASON I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO HAVE A BABY!"

"You need to relax. The time in between contractions is for resting," he reminds her, "not for doubting. Focus. She's almost here, and you are not making this a very pleasurable experience, like you told me you wanted to earlier."

At that moment, a contraction takes over, and changes her mind. She feels it. She wants to push along with the contraction.

"See," he points out. "It's natural. You can do this."

"NO!" she insists. "No I can't."

"Yes. Yes, you can. You can do this," he reminds her. "You survived three days in the woods. You landed a helicopter on your own. You can do this."

"Ugggh!" she's tired of him arguing that she can do this, because he's wrong. She can't. She can't take it anymore. She can't be a mom. "NO I can't. I'm tired!" she whines.

"Yes you can! You have a better stamina than anyone else I've ever met," he adds to the already growing list of reasons why she can. She can't help but laugh at it. "A couple more minutes. Just a little bit more. You can do it."

The pushing seems to go on for hours. Barney is able to keep her calm, and help her through the pushing. He's all encouragement, all you can do this, all you're almost there. Of course, he finds a way to push her on, in a way that is him and him alone- raunchy jokes.

But she can't remember any of them. She's so focused on just getting through it, just surviving, that nothing else registers. All she wants to do is go to sleep. Her body is exhausted, and the burning sensation is ten times worse than the worst pain she's experienced in her entire life, and she knows what pain is. She's been through a whole hell of a lot of it with her dad. Between the burning and the contractions, she feels like she wants to die.

"Give it one good push," she hears from the fog. This is it. This is the moment. She spent the last almost seven months in bed for this moment. One last push, and she'll be here.

She's extremely tired, but she contracts everything one last time, using all the energy she has left. She can still feel everything, but this last push, it's not unpleasant. It's not painful like the rest have been. It's freeing. It makes her body surge with a feeling that she can't quite put a finger on. It's an immense feeling of relief. She doesn't want to call it an orgasm, but in a way, it is orgasmic.

Then she can feel the doctor pulling the baby out, and she collapses backwards on the bed, shaking uncontrollably from the immense change in her body. She doesn't think she can move, but she wants to look. She wants so badly to sit up and look at her daughter, but she can't make her body move. She needs to rest more, and it makes her feel incredibly guilty, but she closes her eyes, at least for now, letting the world go on around her.

Barney isn't sure where to look. He's torn between a trembling Robin, and a baby he can't even fully see, since they are holding her so low. He knows that Robin just gave him the best gift in the world. He feels incredibly horrible for her. He feels exhausted, just from the lack of sleep, and he knows he did nothing, absolutely nothing compared to her. He wouldn't even dare say that he's tired at this point. Robin would probably castrate him.

It seems like an eternity, waiting, the seconds moving so slowly, until they hear her cry for the first time. Robin always found the sound of a baby crying irritating, but this one, this one sounds like music to her ears. Maybe it's everything she went through, but it's a comforting sound, a sound that made the last seven months worth it.

Barney takes a quick look at his watch. 4:37. For some reason, that number is burned into his brain. He's not even sure why that time is familiar, it just is. But it's now a time he'll never forget. He's a dad. He has a baby. Even still, it seems almost improbable.

Then there is a flurry of activity, of noise. Robin feels something warm being placed on her chest, before she's covered with a blanket. It takes her a moment to realize in the fog that it's Brianna. She's here, she's on the outside of her body, and it feels so weird. In an instant, the room quiets down, and she finally gathers the energy to lift her head. She opens her eyes to a head full of curly brown hair, just a shade lighter than her own. It's then when she's finally overwhelmed, when she finally breathes a sigh of relief and lets her tears flow.

Barney can't believe it. He always thought that Robin was the most beautiful person he could ever lay his eyes on, but this little baby, she wins hands down. Yes, she's wrinkled, she's peeling, and she's an awkward shade of purplish pink with a white fuzzy coating, but he doesn't care. The world has somehow stopped around him, and not in a bad way. He reaches out to put his hand on her, wanting to be as close to her as Robin gets to be. She's had her for the last nine months. He hasn't even gotten to feel her yet, but he'll wait on holding her, since he knows how much Robin insisted that she would be on her for the first hour. For now, he'll settle with touching her.

He reaches his hand under the blanket and strokes her back softly, and she starts to gurgle.

"Hey baby girl. Welcome to the world," he utters quietly, putting his other arm around Robin and pulling her toward him, then gently kissing her forehead. It's a moment he'll never forget, moment that he can safely say is one of the happiest of his life.


	52. The First Hour

"She's so still," Robin mutters, still feeling the sense of peace from the birth being over. The experience if holding the baby is blowing everything she thought she knew about newborns out if the water. She always thought babies were loud and busy. But Brianna is lying so calmly on her chest, just breathing. It amazes her that she's finally here. It really still hasn't sunk in.

"I never knew that something so beautiful could look so gross," Barney comments.

"Barney!" she scolds. He just called the baby, the beautiful baby that she just spent the last 18 hours pushing out of her nether regions, gross.

"What?" he whines, shrugging his shoulders. She is the most beautiful thing he's ever laid eyes on, but that doesn't change the fact that she's covered in a gross coating of he doesn't even want to know what.

"Okay," Robin admits. "You're right. She does look a little gross, but she's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

"She really is," he sighs, stroking the side of Brianna's cheek. "Thank you."

Robin turns to stare at him in confusion. "For what?"

"For everything," he answers, looking her straight in the eyes. "For her." The raw emotion in his eyes in the way he looks at her, makes the hormones get the better of her.

"Thank you," she mumbles in return. She's getting all emotional again. She wants to blame the baby, but how could she blame something like crying on something so innocent.

"For what?" Barney questions. "I didn't do anything."

"You helped me make her," Robin replies. The fact that she feels that way makes it feels like his heart has swelled to twice its size.

"Dad? Do you want to come cut the cord?" Barney almost jumps from his place on the bed. They had been so in their own little world that they had forgotten that the nurse-midwife was still in the room.

"Uh, yeah. I'll be right back," he says, getting up from his place beside Robin and walking nervously to the foot of the bed.

The nurse hands him the most awkward looking pair of scissors he's ever seen. She guides his hands towards where to cut, and he cuts easily through the spongy tissue.

Robin tries to watch, but she can't really see what's happening, because Brianna is in the way. But she realizes that the metaphor is quite fitting. Once Barney makes the cut, Brianna will be in no way apart of her anymore. They are now two separate beings, two becoming three in their family.

Barney looks up to see her crying because of her thoughts.

"Scherbatsky? Are you crying?" he teases gently.

"No," she defends. "Shut up. I... It's..." she stutters. "She's just finally here. She's her own person now. Officially."

"Worth it?" he asks sweetly.

"Absolutely," she answers, stroking the hat on the top of Bri's head. "I can't believe that I never wanted to do that." She thinks that maybe she will regret saying that later, but for now, she means it. These first few minutes have definitely been worth it.

"What? Give birth?"

"Yeah," she sighs. "It's all still a little hard to believe. Yeah, I've had like seven months to get used to the idea, but it's still so weird to have her here."

"I know," he agrees, touching the baby's back.

"She's trying to move," Robin announces, feeling the slight movements of her head against her chest.

"She is?" Barney asks, full of joy at his baby's first development.

"Yeah," Robin grins at his enthusiasm. "Watch her head."

"She's opening her eyes," Barney adds, since he knows Robin's in a position that she can't see baby Bri's face.

"What color are they?" she asks.

"Brown."

"What?!" she shouts, slightly disturbing the baby. She's panicked now, because their baby should have blue eyes. Did they switch her? Did something go wrong?

"Kidding! I'm kidding," he chortles. "They're blue. All babies are born with blue eyes. Everyone knows that," he teases.

"I thought that was a myth," she counters.

"Does it matter?"

"Not really," she concedes. "She was going to have blue eyes no matter what. She is our daughter." He smiles at her response. Their daughter. It sounds so right. He leans down to look at Bri, to look her in the eyes for the first time.

"Hey baby girl," he says sweetly. "I know you've heard me before, but you can finally see me now. I'm your daddy." He pauses to touch her nose. "I know we just met and all, but you already mean everything to me. Everything that's mine, is yours." Robin watches the interaction, tears spilling out of her eyes at a rapidly increasing pace. "That's goes for both of you," he says, directing his speech to Robin now. "You both mean the world to me. I love you both so much. I know that seems crazy, to love her so much so-"

"Fast?" she asks, interrupting because she feels the same way.

"Yeah. How did you know?"

"I feel it too," she sighs. "I don't want to let her go. We can just stay here forever."

Barney pulls Robin in for a hug, and starts lightly brushing Brianna's head through her hat, revealing a small bit of wavy brunette hair, while Bri starts making small sucking noises.

"I guess she's got your hair," he notices.

"She does," she smiles. She always pictured her daughter with brown hair, even back when she thought she was pregnant the first time. "She's certainly never going to be a blonde like you with that dark of hair."

"That's okay," he accepts. "Brunettes have always been more beautiful to me anyway."

"Seems different from what I remember," she teases. "I remember you liking quite a few blondes in your day."

"Really?" he groans. "Do we have to do this now? I married _you_ didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did," she teases, smirking in a way that is reserved for him.

"And I don't think you could look more beautiful than you do right now."

"Stop it, Barney," she chastises. "I'm gross. My hair is a mess, I'm covered in sweat, and I'm exhausted as hell," she rants. She feels about as gross as she possibly could. "There is no way I look beautiful."

"But you look so beautiful," he answers with that tone that she knows that he's not lying, the one that she heard in those few moments before their wedding. "You've just given me the best gift ever, and I could still have my way with you right now."

"Hey, hey, hey!" she admonishes. "None of that. One, there is no way I'm even going to let you think about being there right now, and two, we do have this little one to think about now."

"Fine," he says dejectedly. "Did it hurt as much as you thought it would though?" he asks, because he's curious. She seemed fine for the beginning of labor, but the end seemed like something else entirely. It sure seemed like the most pain he had ever seen anyone in, and he had gotten hit by a bus.

"I can tell you that I never thought it was going to feel like that." The way she implies the that, makes him instantly curious.

"Like what?"

"The people from the internet weren't lying. It did feel sort of like an orgasm at the end."

"Really?" he questions with wide eyes.

"Really."

"Wow," he chortles. When she told him about it just a few hours ago, he thought it had to be bogus. There was no way he thought it could be possible.

"Yeah, and it was worth it," she grins. "110% worth it. Even though I said I never wanted this, she is pretty damn amazing."

"Yes, she is," he sighs. "God we are sounding like Ted again."

"Speaking of Ted, do you think we won?" she asks, just remembering the fact that they are there too.

"I don't know. I'd like to think so," he announces. "We are more awesome."

"Yeah we are," she agrees, putting her hand up for a high five that he quickly returns. "Awww. She just moved her arm. She's moving, almost like she wanted her first high five."

Barney watches her a moment before adding, "Why is it the most adorable thing I've ever seen in my life?"

"I don't know," she laughs, "but you are right. Everything she does is adorable."

He turns to look at Robin, and watches her eyes droop with exhaustion.

"You look tired. Do want to rest?" he asks, hoping that she will.

"I do, but I don't want to stop watching her. Maybe later," she brushes off.

"It's okay for you to close your eyes," he insists.

"No," she says finally. "I only have to make it a little bit more. It's close. She's going to fall asleep soon, and when she does, then I can sleep too."

"Robin, don't push yourself," he warns. He hates to see her push herself like this. He wants her to be happy and healthy.

"I'm not," she insists. "Just a little bit more."

"Okay," he agrees, knowing that the strong, independent woman that he fell in love with isn't going to let him win this fight. However, if he can't win this, he certainly is going to take advantage of another situation. He reaches into his pocket, takes his phone out, and takes a picture.

"Did you really just take a picture of me like this?" she asks skeptically.

"Um, yes?" he rebukes, pretending that it's not a big deal. He knows it is. He knows how much Robin doesn't like to take a bad picture, but this is an important moment. He knows she is going to want this picture in just a few months. "I'm sorry, but you are going to want to remember this moment," he counters.

"I think not," she challenges. There is no way she is going to remember looking like this.

"You will. This is a big moment." She groans, because she doesn't want this picture. She doesn't want to remember this moment in how gross she looks. "Calm down Scherbatsky," he adds. "It's just her. Look."

He shows her the phone, and she is instantly overwhelmed.

"Awww. Just…" She is so overwhelmed that she can't control her vocal cords. She can finally see her eyes, her face, her whole body, and she's even more beautiful than she thought.

"You don't know what to say," he teases.

"No, it's so…" she pauses, trying to find the right word, "adorable. I can't see her like that from here."

"So you approve now?"

She chuckles at the thought, because he was right. It only took the picture for her to see that she needs that picture forever. It's the first picture of her daughter.

"Yeah," she concedes. "Take one of the two of us now."

He does, and he thinks that her beaming smile might actually break his phone, it's that bright.

"You know what? You should take a rest," he insists. "I'm going to go make some calls, okay?"

"Yeah," she agrees. "That sounds good." She doesn't want him to go, but at the same time, she does want him to go share the news.

"You want me to call your mom and your dad?" he asks, and she nods, because it's so much better than calling them herself. She really doesn't want to deal with them right now.

He turns and heads out the door, leaving her alone with her daughter for the first time, and she knows what she needs to do.

"Hey, baby girl," she says quietly and tenderly. "We're alone again. Your daddy just went to tell the rest of your family about you. I can't believe you are finally here." She rubs the baby's back. "I just want you to know that no matter what happens, mommy is always going to love you. Always." The tears start to run down her face, so she tries to think of something else. "I hope that I don't regret letting your uncle Marshall give you your middle name," she rambles on. "I do trust him- he's a good guy, you should know that. He's always going to help you out if you are in trouble- but at the same time, he did want to name your cousin Marvin, Hurricane. That would have been pretty bad. But I promised. Your middle name will be what your middle name will be. But you are for sure a Brianna. And I love you so much. You've made me believe in things I never believed in. You are a miracle. A miracle. I love you, my miracle."


	53. The First Hour II

"Hey mom," Barney says quietly into his cell phone. He's right outside the door to Robin's room and he's really not supposed to use his phone in here, but he doesn't want to go too far away from his new little family.

"Hi Wuv-Wuv!" Loretta greats happily. "What's the news?"

"I'm a dad."

"Awww honey!" she squeals. "I'm so proud of you. How are they doing?"

"Just fine."

"When can grandma stop by for a visit?" she prods.

"Ummm, later tonight I guess?" he answers, running his hand through his hair. Really, he doesn't want to deal with anyone tonight. Marshall and Lily, maybe, but no family. He wants to keep her all to himself right now. Plus he's exhausted, and Robin even more so. It would make sense to just have the night to themselves. "No, actually," he corrects, "give us until tomorrow morning. We didn't really get much sleep last night, and visiting hours are over at seven anyway." He may have lied about that. They really go to nine, but this way, it's not him denying her the chance to see her grandchild tonight.

"Okay. I guess I'll wait to see my first real grandchild," she scorns.

"Mom-" he tries to say to change her attitude. She's her third grandchild, not the first. Just because Eli and Sadie are adopted doesn't make them any less her grandchildren.

"It's okay. I'll survive," she whines, trying to get him to change his mind. He's not going to let her guilt trip change his mind though.

"She still won't be a day old yet," he argues, hoping she comes to her senses. "I promise. First thing tomorrow."

"I'll be there. Bye Barney"

"Bye mom."

Well, that's one down, he thinks as he tries to decide who to call next. The only one he is really excited to call is Lily, and now he realizes that he probably should have called her and Marshall first. Well, what's done is done, so all he can do is call them now. Then they can get a head start to the hospital.

"Hey Lil!"

"Good news?" she asks excitedly. She had been waiting all day to hear from anyone.

"Good news. I'm a dad."

"Congratulations Barney," she coos, so happy that she and Marshall are no longer alone in parenthood. Plus, it's so amazing to think about how far the two of them had come. They are parents, and she feels partially responsible for them getting to this place. "Robin doing well?"

"Yeah, they both are. You two coming later?" he asks quickly.

"I think so. Are you sure you want us to come already?" she asks. She remembers what it was like when she had Marvin, and while it was nice to have them there, she did just want to rest.

"Of course, you are our family. I'll see you when you get here." He's ready to hang up when he hears his name.

"Barney-" Lily utters sullenly. She doesn't want to tell him about what she knows, but at the same time, he really should know that they may not be the only ones having a baby today.

"Yeah?"

"Before you go, I just thought maybe you should know-" she says nervously.

"What?" he asks quickly, because what she has to say can't be as important as getting back to Robin.

"Ted and-" He realizes what she wants to tell him and why she needs to. He quickly interrupts her.

"Are at the hospital?" he finishes. "Yeah I know. He sent me a text and I stupidly looked at it. It stressed the hell out of Robin."

"I'm sorry, Barney," she sympathizes.

"It's fine. Did you hear anything from him?" he asks. Not that he really wants to know, because in a way, it's better to not know, then to know that they have lost. If he doesn't know yet, he can still convince himself that they won. Denial can be a beautiful thing sometimes.

"Nope. I've heard nothing," she answers. "As far as I know, you are the first."

"Good," he mutters. "Good."

"See you soon, Barney."

"Yeah, see you soon," he sighs.

He feels slightly upset again. They aren't alone here, and it bothers him. He glances back in the door, but he can't quite see Robin and the baby. He hopes that she is resting. He looks back to the phone to find his dad's number, so that he can get this over with and go back in there to his girls.

"Hey dad."

"Hey! How's my favorite family doing? One bigger yet?" Jerry asks, excited for the news.

"Actually, yeah, she's here."

"Oh goodness! My first grandchild!" Hearing his dad's voice makes Barney happy again. He's so giddy, and completely unlike Loretta in attitude. "How's Robin doing?"

"Everyone's great. I can't talk long. I just wanted to let you know."

"That's okay Barney," Jerry answers, and Barney is so happy that he won't have to argue with another parent, especially since he knows that a certain Scherbatsky is probably going to be a handful to deal with. "Is it okay if Cheryl and I stop by tomorrow? I don't want to overwhelm you."

"That sounds great dad." He sighs at the thought. At least someone understands what it's like to want some time alone. "Thanks." 

* * *

 "Are you doing okay, Robin?"

She opens her eyes to see the nurse-midwife standing at the bottom of the bed. She's not sure if she had been asleep or not, but it almost felt like it. She quickly glances at Brianna, just to make sure she is still there, and notices her moving again. Bri's chubby arms are flailing, and she's still making the sucking sounds she was earlier.

"I think so?"

"Any other contractions?" the nurse asks as she pushes on Robin's stomach. She winces in pain. It hurts, it really hurts, more than she ever thought it would. Not as much as labor, but still. She is supposed to be done with the pain. She has the baby. In a way, she almost feels like a science experiment gone wrong.

"No, why?" she answers through the pain.

"The placenta." She completely forgot about that part. A part of her wishes that Barney would be in here right now, but at the same time, she knows how he is with this kind of stuff, and it would probably be better if he wasn't. "I'm going to need you to push."

"You have got to be kidding me," she mutters under her breath. She can't imagine even trying to push right now. Her body is still so weak, and frankly, she's grateful that all she had to do for the past ten minutes- or however long it's really been- is lie here and hold the baby. "What about the baby?"

"She can stay right where she is. I just need you to give a little bit of a push."

* * *

 "Mr. Scherbatsky?" Barney utters quickly into the phone. Sure, Robin had made up with her dad, and he supported her in that, but there was still something about the man that rubbed him the wrong way. He would forge a relationship for her, but there was no reason that this phone call had to last any longer than possible.

"Yes, son. What can I do for you today? Are you finally deciding to tell me that my granddaughter was born a few weeks ago?" he implies. Barney rolls his eyes at his ignorance. The man had some nerve to even suggest such a thing. "I thought that you had been hiding from me."

"She was actually just born sir."

"But her due date was two weeks ago. What do you mean she's just having the baby now?"

"She was born a few minutes ago. Robin wanted me to call. You can stop by tomorrow."

"I will be by tonight." Barney emits a loud sigh, not wanting to do this yet again. Not that he didn't see this coming from eighty-three miles away.

"Visiting hours are going to be over by the time that they get moved to a real room. You can come any time tomorrow," Barney corrects, lying yet again, but trying to be diplomatic, all for Robin's sake. He hangs up the phone, knowing he will probably regret it in the morning, but he doesn't care. His patience has been worn thin, and he hopes that for Robin's sake, her father decides to take his advice and stay away for the evening. He wants Robin to have the night to herself and just their close friends.

The last call he makes is to Robin's mom. He doesn't even get the opportunity to say hello before she starts the conversation.

"Oh, hello Barney. I take it you are calling because my precious granddaughter has finally arrived?"

"Yes, she has," he says happily. He may never get along with her father, but ever since he met Robin's mother, he actually found he kind of liked the woman, despite the things that Robin told him about her. He may never forgive her completely either for Robin's childhood, but at least she tried to atone for her mistakes and made an effort to be involved now.

"And everyone is healthy?"

"Yes."

"Put Robin on the phone, I want to send my congratulations to her directly."

"I'm actually not in the room with her," he answers meekly, feeling that he may get an earful about why he shouldn't be in the hall talking on the phone.

"What are you doing on the phone with me?" she shouts encouragingly. "Get back in there! This is the worst part of labor!"

"But the baby-"

"Go, Barney," she interrupts. "I'm hanging up. Get back in there right now!"

* * *

 He walks back in at exactly the wrong time, just to see the worst and most disgusting part of labor. Thankfully for him, the door to the bathroom is right next to him, and he makes it inside just in time to spew his guts out in the toilet.

She would have been grossed out herself, because she's never been a fan of the sight of blood, but the thought of Barney needing to hurl because of her just makes her laugh. Maybe she can blame it on being so tired and hormonal.

"What's so funny?" he snarls, coming out of the suite's bathroom. He is not amused. "There's nothing funny." To him, this is about as amusing as them all calling him Swarley.

"Yes it is," she teases. "You were totally grossed out."

"You weren't there!" he exclaims, trying to defend himself.

"Ummm, I'm pretty sure it came out of me," she argues. It wasn't that much prettier on her end either. She decides that maybe it's not the best idea to tell him that some women choose to eat that.

"Hmpf," he exhales in protest.

"Come here," she chuckles. "I'm sorry."

"No you aren't," he whines, before looking at Bri.

"Did you move her?" he asks curiously, and completely changing his attitude upon noticing that she is no longer at the same spot she was when he left the room.

"No, she did that on her own. How did the phone calls go?"

"Well your mom was the one to convince me to come back in when I did," he answers woefully.

"She has always had impeccable timing," she laughs.

"And your dad and my mom both thought they had to come tonight, but other than that, it went well."

"Did you talk to Lily?"

"I did. She hasn't heard anything from Ted yet, so we should be the first."

Robin sighs and closes her eyes. They both sit in contented silence for a minute, Robin resting and Barney watching his daughter make the most adorable suckling face, until the nurse interrupts them.

"The doctor will be back in in a few minutes to stitch you up, and then once she feeds for the first time, we will weigh her and do what we need to with her."

"Stitch me up?" Robin questions, starting to panic.

"You had a slight bit of tearing. One or two stitches will do. I'm just going to give you a local anesthetic," the nurse says calmly. Robin really isn't excited, especially as she watches the nurse get everything ready, and she notices how big the needle is. She may be used to giving herself an injection every day, but this is a whole new level of needle. "While I am working, is there anything you don't want us to do with the baby? Eye drops? Bath?"

"We didn't really talk about it," Robin responds before turning to ask Barney, "What do you think?"

"As long as it's what's normally done, I think it's fine," he answers and Robin nods in agreement.

Barney holds her hand in support as the nurse completes the injection. He doesn't look, because there is only one thing he wants to see go in that area, and a needle is not one of them. He watches Bri instead, and she slobbers all over Robin's nipple. He can't help but find Robin's subsequent giggle adorable, even if it shakes her body, making the whole process take longer.

"Sorry. That tickled," she says.

"I'll go get the doctor," the nurse says before walking out of the room. 

* * *

 A minute after the doctor finally leaves, is when Brianna decides to latch for the first time. And. It. Hurts.

It seems the pain just keeps happening. Hurt is a new word in her vocabulary. Sure, it is worth it, but she just wants the pain to stop so she can go to sleep.

"Is it supposed to hurt this much?" she asks the nurse.

"No. You might be a little bit sore, but it shouldn't hurt."

"It definitely hurts," Robin answers.

"She's not latched right," the nurse comments, finally coming over to see what is wrong.

"And how do I fix that?" Robin asks sarcastically. It's like they expect her to know everything. She can certainly tell that her exhaustion is starting to make her cranky.

"First, you need to teach her how to do it. Everyone thinks that babies know what to do. They have an idea, but they don't know how to properly do it."

"And how do I do that?" Her patience is wearing thin.

"Reach under her lips and then turn her mouth away. Then cup your breast in a U shape and brush her cheek."

She does what the nurse says, and it does help, but it's still not the easiest thing in the world.

"It still hurts a bit."

"I've been told that lying back helps, but it hasn't been proven. And don't worry. It takes most new moms and babies a week or two to get the hang of it. We'll keep an eye on it for the next day."

It's the strangest feeling to Robin. She's had the sensation of having her nipples sucked on before, but she can feel something going out of her now. It's another one of those moments that crosses the line almost too far between sexual and entirely non-sexual.

At that moment, Barney realizes that while he used to think the idea of breast feeding was hot, it's really not what he thought it was. Viewing it from this angle, it being his wife and his newborn daughter, it's taken on a whole new meaning. It's actually kind of sweet, except for the fact that Robin is visibly in pain. He doesn't want her to be in pain anymore. Hasn't the day been enough for her already?

* * *

 After twenty minutes, the nurse is finally happy with the amount that Brianna has eaten. She picks the baby up off of Robin, and carries her to the far side of the room, where another nurse is waiting to help check her vitals.

"You still doing okay?" Barney asks Robin once Bri is out of their sight.

"Yeah. I'm just tired. I'm ready to go to sleep now."

"Take a nap. You deserve it." He pulls her into a hug from his spot on the bed next to her. "I love you so damn much Scherbatsky."

"I love you too."

"Okay dad, are you ready to hold her?" the nurse asks. She's holding Brianna who now has a diaper added to her lone wardrobe of a hat. He sits down on the recliner next to the bed, and looks up to a very tired, but smiling Robin. He doesn't know what he did to deserve all of this, but he's so thankful for the opportunity.

He loosens his tie and unbuttons his shirt, while the nurse slips Brianna underneath.

"Your suit grew a lump," Robin teases sweetly from the bed.

"Shut up," he counters.

He concentrates on holding the baby, and before he knows it, he finds one of his girls sleeping peacefully on the bed, and the other on his chest.

His life couldn't be more perfect.

 

 


	54. First Visitors

"Knock, knock," Lily says quietly, letting herself in the room with Marshall right behind her.

"Hey," Barney mutters quietly. He glances over to see that Robin is sound asleep. He had been resting himself, but he is thankful that his friends are finally here. After all, they have someone incredibly important to meet.

"Oh, Robin's asleep. Do you want us to come back?" Lily offers.

"No, it's fine. We can wake her up. It's been about two hours since she fell asleep."

"Poor baby," Lily mutters. "So where's our other little girl?"

"Right here," he answers, gesturing to his chest.

"Aww!" Lily squeals. Behind her Marshall mouths 'sorry.'

"I still can't believe you guys are parents," Marshall comments, finally spotting the baby's head peeking out from under his shirt.

Barney opens his shirt further, so that they can see the rest of the baby.

"Oh my goodness!" Lily squeals again. "She's precious."

"She looks like Robin," Marshall observes. Barney can't help but smile. The more he looks at her, the more he realizes they are right. She's a spitting image of her mother. It would be nice if she looked a little more like him, but he can't complain.

"She does," Lily agrees.

"Really? She doesn't look like me at all?" he jokes.

"She has your mouth," Marshall observes, "but Robin's hair for sure."

"And her nose," Lily adds.

"She's definitely your baby."

"She's quite peaceful for their baby though," Lily quips. Barney rolls his eyes. Of course the jokes would start already.

"Shut up, guys. She's a baby."

"Does she have a name yet?" Marshall asks. He's been so curious as to what they would choose to name her, since he was allowed to pick out the middle name.

"Yes," Barney sighs, looking back down at her and gently stroking her head. "She does."

"Is it the same name you guys picked before but wouldn't tell us?" Lily asks.

"It is."

"Tell us what it is," Lily demands.

"No, I can't. Not until Robin wakes up," Barney responds. They hadn't discussed the situation, but he knows she will be angry if she doesn't get to see their faces when they hear the name.

"But WHY?" Lily whines.

"Because she's going to be pissed if she finds out that I told you without her."

"Come on, Barney, just tell us," Marshall begs.

"Shhhh!" Barney scolds with a whisper. "You are going to wake them up!"

"Whaa..." Robin moans groggily from across the room. "What's going on?" Barney can't help but glare evilly at his two friends. He is grateful that at least they didn't wake the baby.

"Sorry we woke you," Lily apologizes. It takes Robin a minute to realize who exactly is standing at the foot of her bed, but when she does she breaks out into a smile.

"Oh, hey guys," she mumbles, still a bit drowsy. "It's okay. I'm glad to see you."

"We're glad to see you too," Lily smiles, walking closer to Robin.

"Anything from Ted?" Robin asks eagerly. Now that she's woken up, she has a good feeling that they were first after all.

"Not yet," Marshall answers.

"Thank god," Barney bemoans from the other side of the room.

"Come on guys, it's not a competition," Marshall chastises.

"Like hell it isn't a competition!" Robin starts to spout. "I had to carry around a watermelon on the front of me for a whole month longer than she did. Don't tell me it's not a competition."

"Sorry," Marshall apologizes, backing away from the bed. "I didn't mean to hit a nerve there."

"Well, you did," Robin replies sarcastically.

"So can you tell us her name now?" Lily asks, on the borderline of getting hiccups.

Barney and Robin share a look. They both realize that the moment they say this out loud, it's not their little secret anymore, but the official name of their baby. She nods to him, and he pulls her out from his shirt into his arms, so they can get a good look at her.

"Guys, this is Brianna," he says peacefully, his eyes never leaving her.

"Awww, that's perfect!" Lily exclaims, almost starting to cry.

"We are going to call her Bri," Robin adds.

"Kinda sounds like Bro," Marshall jokes.

"No," Robin grumbles from the bed. Why in the four months since they named her had they thought of that? She wants to slap Marshall. She wants to slap him so much.

"That is brilliant!" Barney exclaims.

"Damn it Marshall!" she screams. All she can think is that Barney BETTER get the idea of calling her Bro out of his head.

"At least it goes perfect with her middle name," Marshall adds, completely ignoring the interaction between Barney and Robin.

"And that is?" Barney asks gleefully.

"I can't tell you that yet. Ted and Tracy have to be here for that one," he announces smugly. He really can't wait for them to hear, but he really wants them to all be together.

"Oh god. What did you name my daughter?" Robin groans. She messed up. Why did she let Marshall name her?

"It's not bad," Lily tries to reassure. She's not sure what Robin's reaction will be, but at least it's a name.

"Somehow, that doesn't make me feel any better," Robin answers.

"Why not?" Marshall asks with a giggle.

"Because anytime you say something like that, it's bad," Robin points out. Marshall looks dejected, but she's known him long enough to know that he tries his hardest to downplay the bad.

"She's right honey," Lily consoles him, rubbing his shoulder. "On both the name and the comment."

"Lily!" Robin whines. "Why would you let him?"

"It's perfect," Lily insists. "Just trust me on this one."

"Fine," Robin sighs. "I better like it."

"Do want to hold her?" Barney asks, wanting to get away from the name talk.

"Nah, we can wait till tomorrow," Marshall rejects kindly. "It's important that you guys keep her to yourselves for a while."

"Welcome to the club, guys," Lily answers sincerely.

"Thanks," Robin answers, looking at Barney holding their daughter. They all admire the baby in a moment of happy silence, until three phones buzzing in unison break it. Robin immediately looks away from the baby, and can tell they are all thinking the same thing.

Ted.

"Can someone show me?" Robin asks, not being able to reach any of their phones, with hers still at home.

"Yeah," Marshall responds, "sorry." He doesn't even stop to look at it before handing it to her.

_Meet the newest Mosby. 2/27/15 7:56 pm._

"YES!" Robin exclaims so loudly, that she wakes Brianna who starts to whimper. Barney gives her an disappointed glare for waking the baby, but he manages to calm her down while Marshall and Lily deal with the overexcited Robin.

"You're too happy," Marshall chides.

"Watermelon, front of me, then through lady bits. You don't get to judge. I don't care if you are a judge or not," she replies sarcastically. Marshall is offended, and shows it. Barney can't help but chuckle from across the room at the scene. That's his wife, and he couldn't be more proud.

"Sorry sweetie," Lily tries to comfort him. "She does win that one."

"I think we are going to go check on Ted and Tracy," Marshall sighs.

"That's fine. I'm ready to sleep again," Robin agrees.

"Thanks for coming guys," Barney says. He's still so wrapped up in his daughter that he doesn't even look up.

"Sure. Congrats again guys. She really is beautiful," Lily says once again before walking out the door.

"Yeah," Robin agrees, staring at Barney. "She is."

 

 


	55. Long Nights

It's 10pm and he's awake. It's the lack of his sheets, his mattress, and the lack or Robin's arms next to him keeping him awake. She may only be across the room, but even so, it's too early to sleep.

He feels restless, and all he really wants to do is roam the halls. He doesn't really want to leave Robin or the baby, but he feels the need to go get something to eat.

He sneaks out, and down the hallway towards the vending machine.

And there before him at the coffee machine is a familiar head of black hair.

"Ted!"

"Barney! Oh my god!" They quickly embrace in a bro hug, complete with the compulsory back slaps.

"Congrats bro," Barney says, pulling away from him.

"Same to you?" Ted says tentatively while grabbing his coffee. "I don't really know what happened with you guys."

"Yeah. She's finally here," he beams proudly. "What are you doing out here?"

"Same thing you are?" Ted shrugs. "The baby is asleep on Tracy, and Tracy's asleep. It was kinda getting boring just watching them."

"Ditto. Only Bri's in her bassinet."

"Bri?" Ted asks curiously.

"Brianna."

"Wow," Ted chuckles. "That's perfect."

"Thanks. You guys have a name yet?" Barney asks as he fiddles with the coffee machine.

"Not quite. We couldn't agree on one yet." Ted takes a sip. "We did pick a middle name, though."

"Yeah? What's that?"

"Leia."

"Nice! Awesome middle name five!"

"Yeah, I suggested it for her first name, but Tracy wouldn't go for it," Ted bemoans.

"Geeze, She's no fun." Barney takes his cup out of the machine and takes his first sip.

"Nah. She still loves Star Wars, and she did give birth, so I think she wins," Ted shrugs. "By the way, how's Robin doing?"

"Pretty good. Tired, but she seems good," Barney answers.

"Tracy's wiped out from the drugs, honestly. She got a little crazy before she fell asleep." Barney can't help but chuckle. Tracy's quite crazy as it is.

"Robin didn't have that problem."

"Of course she didn't," Ted laughs. "She's quite the opposite of a lightweight when it comes to drinking and medications."

"Oh yeah she is," Barney agrees, "but in order to have some effects you kind of have to have the drugs."

"What?" Ted snaps, clearly still processing that thought.

"She was trying to be her typical tough Scherbatsky, and refused them," he explains. "Then, when she decided that she wanted them, it was too late."

"Yikes," Ted cringes.

"Yeah. I still don't know how she did it."

"I don't either."

"I take back what I said," Barney says.

"What's that?"

"I'm glad that we aren't like seahorses."

"You mean that we can't have children on our own?" Ted questions.

"Umm, yeah," Barney draws out. He is very glad he didn't have to do half of what Robin had to do today.

"That's a very good point," Ted chuckles. "Any chance I can sneak in and see them?"

"Only if I can sneak in as see yours as well."

"Deal."

* * *

 "How weird is it that we ended up having babies on the same day?" Ted whispers as they sneak into Tracy's room.

"Pretty weird."

"This is her," Ted says, reaching the bed and stroking the baby.

"She's gorgeous," Barney says. "Not quite as gorgeous as the baby down the hall but-" Ted reaches out and punches him gently in the arm, interrupting his train of thought. "Owww! What was that for?"

"Come on, Barney. I can't agree with you on that one." Ted says. "Even if she's all Robin, she's still no contender to this little gal."

"See, no Ted. You've got this all wrong. Bri's like 200% awesome, so that makes her the best baby ever."

"Agree to disagree?"

"Yep."

Barney turns to the baby, touching her like Ted had.

"Hey there, Leia. Sometime, your Aunt Robin and I are going to have to teach you how to live. And it's almost time for our Star Wars marathon, so..."

"I guess it is almost time for Trilogy Time," Ted murmurs.

"Yes it is," Barney confirms.

"It's amazing how much things have changed this time," Ted starts to gush. "I mean, we never would have guessed that we would both have babies and be married the next time, right?"

"Not at all," Barney agrees. "I would have never believed this in a million years."

"I don't think any of us would have," Ted says. "Alright. You have something to prove to me. Let's go see your baby."

* * *

 "This is Brianna," Barney says once they are over the bassinet. "You're going to say she looks like Robin aren't you?"

"Well, she does, but I think she looks more like you. She got the things that are more obvious from Robin, like the nose and the hair. But most of her is you. Her chin, her forehead, her eyes, the way her cheekbones curve, did I mention her eyes?"

"You did."

"Hmmmm, Barney?" Robin begins to murmur from the bed.

"Yeah?" Barney asks, turning to her.

"What time is it?" she asks, starting to flutter her eyes open.

"Somewhere around 10:30."

"Oh." She looks around the room, and notices they aren't alone. "Ted?"

"Yeah, look who I found roaming the halls," Barney jokes.

"You caught me," Ted concedes. "Congrats."

"Thanks. Congrats to you too," she answers.

"Thanks. I hope you don't mind that I stopped by."

"No. Not at all. Just don't mind if I doze back off."

"That's okay," he smiles. "You deserve the rest."

"So how are things over at camp Mosby?" she asks.

"Actually, we are only about two doors down."

"Nice."

"Right? Anyway, Tracy is asleep with the baby on her, and I got thirsty," Ted explains.

"So you just left?" she questions.

"Yeah? It's not like I didn't find Barney in the hall doing the same thing," Ted explains.

"Barney?" Robin glares accusingly.

"What?!" Barney tries to defend himself. "You two were doing the exact same thing."

"But, but... You left me alone with her," Robin responds, clearly worried.

"Yeah, and?"

"Something bad could have happened."

"Nothing bad happened," Barney tries to comfort her.

"But..."

"Robin, it's okay. Nothing happened," Barney responds yet again.

"But something could have happened."

"We are in a hospital. And you are a wonderful mother. You know what she needs. Trust yourself," Barney explains. "I trust you."

"Yeah, and she's sleeping. How am I supposed to know?"

"You'll know," Ted jumps in. "You know what? Why don't I head back to Tracy? That way we can all get some rest."

"That sounds good," Barney agrees.

"Thanks for stopping by."

"Sure. Goodnight guys." Ted leaves the room quietly, leaving the three of them alone once again.

"I'm sorry I left. I didn't know that it would be such a big deal," he apologizes.

"I didn't know it would be either," she sighs. "I just kinda panicked. I don't want to panic, but do you remember the first time I was alone with Marvin and how much of a disaster that was?"

"I do." Robin sighs, letting her head fall in her hands, "No, Robin, that's not what I meant. It was a disaster back then, but think about all you've learned since then. Would you ever consider handing her to a stranger?"

"No."

"Of course not," he explains. "That's your parenting instinct now. Just do what you think is best and it will all be okay."

"Are you sure?"

"I promise." He pulls her in for a hug and a kiss. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"You think there is enough room on this bed for the both of us?"

"Why? Are you feeling lonely?" she asks, highly amused.

"What? No!" he squeaks. She can't help but laugh.

"I think we can manage. Come here."

He snuggles up closer to her, and she uses the button on her bed to turn out the lights.

"Goodnight Barney."

"Goodnight Robin. And goodnight to you too, Brianna."

 

 


	56. Believing

"Morning," Barney mumbles as soon as he sees Robin's eyes flutter open.

"Morning," Robin mumbles back, happy to see Barney in the small bed with her.

"How are you feeling?" he questions, stroking a loose strand of hair out of her eyes.

"I've been better," she sighs. "Did you sleep okay?" she asks.

"Yeah. I do miss our bed though."

"Me too," she agrees. She stretches her arms out and shifts from her side to her back.

"She slept more than I thought she would," Barney comments.

"She did," she says, pausing to look over at the bassinet. "Do you think maybe we should call for a nurse?"

"Why?" He jolts up in a panicked frenzy, checking the bassinet to see that Brianna is still there and doing well.

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong. I just to make sure we can move her," Robin says.

"I mean, we can," he answers her reassuringly, "but you do realize we've been holding her all night. On our own. Without a nurse here."

"Oh yeah. That's right," she mutters. He can tell that she's still panicked about the thought of having the baby around, even though she a more than capable mother when the baby is in her arms. "I'm starving though. Maybe we can get some pancakes?"

"Now that sounds like an idea."

* * *

"Hello!" Loretta announces when she enters the room.

"Hey, mom," he greets, walking from his perch on the bed to give his mother a hug.

"Hi, wuv-wuv! Hi, Robin!" He leads Loretta to the bed. "So this is my precious little granddaughter!"

"It is," Robin answers, unable to take her eyes off of the baby in her arms. "Do you want to hold her?"

"Do I want to? What kind of question is that?" Loretta jokingly retorts. Robin slowly hands Brianna into Loretta's outstretched arms.

"She's so small," she comments as she brushes Brianna's cheek. "I don't think I've held a baby this small since you were born."

"She's far from tiny. Eight pounds, three ounces," Barney comments.

"And she certainly didn't feel tiny," Robin scoffs.

"Oh, I know. But it's quite easy to forget how horrible it is when you get to cuddle like this," Loretta says, while rocking the baby. "Aren't you just the tiniest little thing," she coos to baby Bri, before looking back to the adults. "Still, I didn't get to see Eli or Sadie until they were much older. What's her name? You didn't tell me yet."

"Brianna. We haven't decided on a middle name yet though." He winks at Robin knowingly. He's still quite excited to hear what Marshall has chosen. He hopes it's as awesome as waitforit.

"Awww. She does look like a Brianna," Loretta agrees. "Any news on when you are going home?"

"Not for sure," Robin answers. "Possibly tonight, if we can decide on a middle name before then."

"Well, don't rush it. You'll have plenty of days home alone together. Relish the help while you can."

"Thanks for the advice," Robin answers kindly. She is certainly in no rush. As much time as she had to mentally prepare for it, she's still not entirely ready to be alone with the baby. She knows that logically, it makes no sense, but she can't help but panic a bit.

"How about a first picture with grandma?" Barney asks.

"I'd love that."

"Hey, Brianna," Loretta whispers to the baby. "I'm your grandma. Your favorite grandma. You just remember that."

* * *

"Hey."

"Tracy!" Robin exclaims, upon seeing Tracy being wheeled into the room. "How did you let get them to let you come over?"

"I made friends with the nurse and talked her into it," she states obviously, as she arrives next to Robin's bed.

"She did," the nurse agrees.

"Of course you did," Robin groans playfully, rolling her eyes. It's just like Tracy to befriend anyone. Tracy, who is holding the baby, is rolled up next to her bed, so they can talk.

"Want to switch?" Tracy asks. It's the first time she is around for a niece or nephew's birth, and she doesn't want to miss out just because she had a baby the same day.

"Ummm…" Robin stutters, looking at the tiny newborn in Tracy's arms. "Are you sure you want me to hold her? I mean I have no experience holding newborns."

"Robin-" Tracy chuckles, shaking her head.

"What? I don't!" Robin exclaims.

"You do realize that you have your own newborn?" Tracy points out, nodding over to Brianna in the bassinet.

"I know," Robin shrugs off, completely missing Tracy's point.

"You have held her right?"

"Of course." She may have held Brianna, but she still feels like a part of her.

"Then I trust you to hold my baby," Tracy responds, looking Robin straight in the eyes. Her honesty fills Robin. Considering she's only known her for a little less than two years, she's still amazed at how much Tracy has wormed her way into her life.

The nurse picks up the baby from Tracy's arms, and before Robin knows, she is holding the one and only child of Ted Mosby. Tracy slides up next to Robin in the bed, and the nurse hands her Brianna. Both are entirely enamored by the babies, babies that they both somehow though would never exist, so much so that they miss Barney walking in the door.

"Oh, hey!" he exclaims, excited to see Tracy visiting Robin, before taking a closer look. "Did you two switch babies?"

"Maybe," Tracy replies with a teasing smirk.

"Okay. Just don't get them mixed up," he teases, with an edge of panic in his voice.

"Very funny. We all have matching bands. I don't think they would get mixed up," Robin reminds him as he takes a seat on the recliner next to her bed.

"Where's Ted?" he asks.

"He went to the house to get a few things ready. He should be back really soon. And I think Marshall and Lily are coming then as well. Something about an announcement?"

"Oh yeah," Robin agrees. "They need to tell us her middle name so we can get out of here." She's happy that they are finally going to share this wonderful middle name they keep bragging about. She's tired of the suspense.

"Right. I didn't think you had to name her right away, though?" Tracy ponders.

"We don't, but I refuse to leave this room without filling out her birth certificate," Robin answers.

"Hey, we thought we might find you here," Marshall says quietly, as he enters the room, followed by Lily.

"Speak of the devil," Barney teases.

"What, were you just talking about us?" Lily asks, getting comfortable at the foot of the bed.

"Actually, we were waiting for you," Robin answers.

"Good. I am so ready to tell you this," Marshall replies. He's more than ready to see the reaction on her face.

"Yeah. We are ready too," Barney agrees.

"There's- wait-" Marshall pauses, looking around the room. He was just about to start his speech, when he noticed the room was missing one important person. "Where's Ted?"

"He just went home to get some things ready, and he told me he would be back about 15 minutes ago," Tracy says. "He should be here soon."

"I can't believe he even wanted to leave," Barney mocks. It is Ted after all. He's been getting lactation stains at the sound of babies for almost ten years.

"You know Ted," Tracy jokes. "Especially after our wedding. There is probably some sort of welcome home surprise he is planning."

"That would be very Ted," Robin agrees, before she is interrupted by a large hiccup out of Lily.

"Damn it, Lily," Marshall scolds.

"Sorry!" she whines. "I really want them to know."

"I know. I do too babe."

"Hey," an out of breath Ted utters as he enters the room. "There you are. I was a little panicked when you weren't in your room."

"I talked the nurse into letting me come over for a visit."

"I know, she told me, and I can't say I'm surprised," Ted says.

"Yeah, me neither," Barney agrees, making the rest of the group break out in giggles.

"Wait, are you holding Brianna?" Ted asks, upon noticing that the baby in Tracy's arms is not theirs.

"Yeah."

"And you are all here?" Ted finally notices.

"We are glad you showed up. The hiccups were about to kill Lily," Robin answers sarcastically.

"Sorry, I just can't wait any longer," Lily whines.

"Why were you waiting for me?" Ted asks.

"Because we can't tell them the middle name without you here," Lily answers.

"Obviously," Marshall agrees.

"Oh, yeah," Ted mutters with a chuckle." No, you can't."

"Wait, you know?" Robin exclaims. If she had only known, she would have bribed him for information weeks ago.

"Yep," Marshall says. "She's totally going to freak."

"I hate you all right now," Robin grumbles, as Barney strokes her hair.

"I think it's perfect," Tracy defends. To her, it is so aptly fitting, and having just gone through the same thing, she thinks Robin will agree as well, no matter what she might have said in the past.

"Really?" Ted looks at her skeptically. It's Robin. Tracy can't be serious. She will hate it.

"Yeah, I think it fits her well," Tracy defends.

"Oh, but you don't know Robin," Lily argues.

"Yes I do," Tracy continues to defend.

"I think you should switch babies back before Marshall tells her the name," Ted says. He doesn't want his newborn on the receiving end of any Scherbatsky wrath. "Give her here."

"I'm taking offense to that you know," Robin complains, when he takes the baby.

"Would someone please tell us the goddamn name?!" Barney shouts, bring the grumbling room to a silence, except for the fussing of the babies. Tracy hands Brianna back to Robin.

"Yeah. Sorry," Marshall mutters. He didn't know he would cause quite this much stress, and now he feels bad. "There was only one thing I could ever imagine her being named, from the moment you told us you were pregnant. I know you don't believe in half of the things that I do, but to me, she's nothing short of a miracle. So that's the name. Miracle."

"Miracle?" Barney questions incredulously.

"You don't really have to use it. Really," Marshall insists. He didn't mean to force this on them.

"She's a miracle," Robin mutters, looking down at the small infant in her arms. She never left the word sink into her brain before, but now, she realizes just how much of a miracle the baby in her arms is. She is not supposed to be here. For all intents and purposes, she should never have been on the earth. Between her decision to not have children, and her supposed infertility, she would never have been born without some divine intervention. "Brianna Miracle Stinson." The words roll of her tongue in a way she would have never expected. After so many close calls, and trials and tribulations, she certainly feels like she is a miracle, and a big one at that.

Barney watches his wife for signs of a freak out. He always thought that maybe she would finally change her mind on miracles when Brianna was born. He hoped anyway. He hoped that someday she would share his turn of attitudes that miracles do exist. She has always been a miracle to him, and Brianna was just the cherry on top.

"Marshall?" Robin finally mumbles, still staring at Brianna.

"Hmmm?" he asks, all five of them watching her intently, waiting for her to continue.

"It's perfect," she answers, looking up to smile at them.

"Look at you guys all grown up!" Lily exclaims, rushing to hug the small family to her.

"So if I've managed to convert Robin to believing in miracles, does that mean there is still chance to get you all to believe in Bigfoot?" Marshall asks, hopeful.

"Not a chance."


	57. The First Week

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry about it being so long since the last update. It was a very dramatic Christmas. I am starting a new job this week, so I don't know when I am going to get to post again, but I have a lot more to write on this story. I hope that you can stick with me!

Suddenly, before Barney and Robin knew, it had been a week since their daughter was born. The whole week had been a blur. Sleeping was a thing of the past, and besides James and Tom and the kids, they saw no one. They were in their own little world where day was night and night was day.

The two of them had once talked about how they thought Marshall and Lily were being over dramatic after Marvin's birth. There was no way they could have been that tired. But as they've discovered in the last week, they were.

Life became midnight feedings, daytime naps, and a little Netflix and DVR catchup thrown in while feeding and burping.

Robin found it funny how naturally they both took to the parenting role. Barney changed diapers without complaint, while she spent very little time without Brianna in her arms.

The thing that surprised her the most is how her body had changed. Sure, Lily had once made a comment comparing a certain female body part to Rocky Balboa's face, but she never expected it to be worse. If the bed rest, labor, and delivery weren't enough to make her not want to go through everything again, the week after sure was. It was the never spoken about fact by women. The after effects of birth, and she would certainly keep that secret.

She also never expected to want to be back in bed either, but Brianna had finally fallen asleep on Barney's chest, and there was nowhere else she would rather be.

"You remember right after Marvin was born?" Robin mumbles, dazed but not able to fall asleep.

"Not that much," Barney says with as little breath as possible. He wanted her to at least sleep until the morning. "We had a lot of our own stuff going on."

"I always thought they were crazy. They couldn't have been that tired. I never thought it was like this." She lets her eyes close at that.

"It is though. I haven't got this little sleep since..." He stops, looking at Brianna on his chest, and he realizes it will never be okay to say what he was thinking in front of her. All that matters is her and Robin anymore. "Nope. Never mind."

"Really?" She opens her eyes and lifts her head to look him directly in the eyes. "You are finally self-censoring?"

"It just doesn't seem right to say anymore," he says with a shrug.

"Awwww," she says sweetly, a little happy for the change. "I'm so happy she's asleep."

"It would be nicer if she wasn't asleep on my chest," he groans softly.

"Yeah, but she's so cute there!" she teases.

"I just want to sleep, Scherbatsky."

"And I don't?"

"Sorry," he apologizes. "How are you feeling?"

"Better. Still hurts like a bitch," she groans as she adjusts her position on the bed.

"You're super awesome. You know that?" She rolls her eyes once again at his complement. "No, seriously. You've done so much."

"Thanks. But getting back to my point, like, we are up talking at four am."

"So?" he shrugs. "We always used to talk at four am."

"No, we used to be having sex at four am," she corrects, "Not trying to sleep with an infant in our bed."

"We could change that," he winks suggestively.

"It's been one week and you are already bothering me for sex," she says, shaking her head. "You lasted six months, and now you can't go another month and a half?"

"You reminded me just how awesome it was!" he exclaims as quietly as possible. "And it was even more awesome! Who knew you could move like that when you were that big?"

"Hell yeah!" she agrees as they high five. "Seriously though," she says, trying to steer the conversation back to the original topic. "I think we should call Lily and Marshall and apologize about giving them so much trouble about the 8 or higher rule. We haven't even made the attempt to call them in a week."

"Yeah. That was stupid of us," he agrees.

"How did we not know?"

"I don't think I would have even gotten it last week," he answers.

"We need to call them," she says, climbing out of bed to get her phone. "And Ted too."

"Robin?" Barney asks as she looks through her contacts for Lily's number.

"Hmmm?" she mumbles, her head down in her phone.

"It's still 4 am," he reminds her.

"Oh crap," she mumbles. "I'll call them in the morning. When is it morning again?"

"I don't know. Want to catch up on something before we fall asleep?"

"Sure. Just not American Horror Story. That gave me some crazy ass dreams the last time we watched. That is not a show for when it's dark out. Especially since that one guy kinda looked like you."

"So one of Ted's BBC documentaries so we fall asleep quick?" he asks, clicking the TV on and shielding Bri's eyes.

"Yep," she agrees quickly.

* * *

"Hey, Lil."

"Hey!" Lily exclaims enthusiastically after she realizes who is on the other end of the phone. "It's Robin! Marshall!" she hollers elsewhere. "They are still alive. That's five bucks."

"You're still betting on us?" Robin asks, disappointed. She thought that they had given that up.

"Of course," Lily confesses, entirely nonchalant. "We were wondering how you were holding up, but we didn't want to call. Sleep is a precious thing, and we didn't want to interrupt. Oh and so is bonding with the baby. But let's face it…"

"Sleep is more important?" Robin asks, interrupting.

"Yep. So how are you doing?"

"Just fine, I think. You?"

"Great."

"Hey Lil, I...uh... actually called to say something else," Robin confesses.

"Oh? Do you need something?" Lily questions, and if Robin didn't know any better, she would think that Lily is somehow prying.

"No. Barney and I were talking early this morning, and we just want to apologize-"

"For not calling this week?" Lily quickly guesses, hiccuping in the process. It makes her question just what Lily is up to.

"No, um, actually, you remember when Marvin was born and you decided to invoke the 8 or higher rule?" Robin asks.

"Yeah?"

"Well Barney and I wanted to apologize."

Lily starts laughing hysterically, and a confused look spreads across Robin's face. Nothing she said should have invoked that reaction. "Marshall! Get in here!" Lily yells over an obviously covered phone. "Say that again so Marshall can hear."

"Barney and I wanted to apologize?" Robin questions, still not sure what Lily is talking about.

"Hi Robin!" Marshall replies, giddy with excitement. "You're right baby, that's hilarious!"

"Why are you laughing?" Robin questions with an air of impatience.

"Ted called about 10 minutes ago to say the same thing!" Lily's said with a laugh.

"Really?" Robin groans, somehow not surprised.

"Yeah. I guess you all finally understand why we did that," Lily replies.

"How did you even put up with us?" Robin asks, starting to laugh. The more she thinks about the whole idea, the funnier it gets.

"Good question, but welcome to the club. Officially. You're real parents now."

"Thanks. By the way, you want to come over and visit?" Robin asks.

"We'd love to!" Lily answers excitedly. "Just let us know when."

"Will do. Bye."

"Bye."

"So what did she say?" Barney asks, having come back to the bedroom from the nursery in the middle of the conversation.

"They laughed," Robin answers with a smirk.

"Huh?" he asks, confused.

"Apparently Ted called this morning and said the same thing and they find it hilarious that we are finally getting it."

"Of course," he groans, because he knows it's just like Lily and Marshall to do such a thing.

"Oh, and they were betting on us again," she adds.

"You know, I think maybe we should start betting on them," he suggests. Maybe then they would know how it feels.

"That might not be a bad idea," she ponders. "Is she asleep?"

"I hope so."

"Awesome. I'm going back to bed to take a nap before she wakes up again."

"Sounds like a plan. I'll join you," he says.

"Yes, as long as we sleep," she teases, knowing full well that they will both be asleep in minutes.

"Hey! Drink some Red Bull!" he answers, almost offended, following her as she walks to the bedroom.

"You know I can't because of Bri. I have to watch my intake of that stuff."

"Sorry. I wish you could. It's awesome."

"It's not that great anyway," she says as she pulls the covers down, climbing into bed.

He gasps loudly, feigning shock.

"Not that great?! It's the second best liquid on the planet behind scotch. It was invented…"

"Can we just lie down? I really don't need the history lesson right now."

"Fine," he concedes and joins her in bed.

"But maybe you can tell me later when she's awake?" she offers, as she settles down and closes her eyes.

"Yeah. That would be nice," he says, right before drifting into sleep.

* * *

_3/6/15_

_Hello all. It's official, I'm a mother. Brianna was born last Friday at 4:37 pm. She was 21 inches long and 8 pounds 3 ounces._

_I'm sure like most new parents, I've forgotten what is night and what is day, but there is one thing I've learned. I've learned that miracles can happen. I never believed in them. Any of my friends would tell you how much I fought the idea of miracles over the years. But watching my daughter, it changed things for me. She's nothing shorter than a miracle. When my friend suggested it for a middle name, I looked at her and realized that nothing could really be more fitting._

_As for when I return to work, I have no idea, but I will be back. It took me a long time to realize that I could have a family and have career, but now that I know that, I feel so fulfilled, and I couldn't imagine anything else._


	58. Disappointment

It had been a long day for Barney. Not that work was stressful, it actually had been a successful day at the office. It had, however, been his first day back since the baby was born, and he spent the majority of the day worrying about his two girls. He didn't think anything would happen, he just missed them, and missed being with them.

So when he walks in the door to the apartment to see a tearful Robin sitting in the dark with the bassinet next to her, he can't help but wonder what went wrong.

"Robin? Are you okay? What's wrong?" he asks, moving to sit down next to her on the couch.

"He canceled again," she blubbers, tissue balled up in her hand, as she dabs her eyes.

"Oh," he murmurs. The topic of her father's visit had been a sore subject since Barney hung up on him at the hospital that night. Even though Robin said she could have cared less about him not showing up, he knew she did, and the longer time went on, and the more he kept canceling, the more Robin showed that it bothered her. Now, it looks like she has finally snapped.

"My father has yet to see my daughter," she sobs. "It's been two weeks, Barney. Two weeks, and he cancels again."

"Did he say why?" he asks, because he wants her to still give him the benefit of the doubt, especially after their lovely Christmas exchange.

"Something with Carol," she mumbles.

"Maybe she's not well," he suggests, hoping somehow to calm her down.

"No, come on Barney. He's ignoring me. He's ignoring us."

"So what? Robin, I know he's your dad, and I know you really want to have a relationship, but maybe it's for the best of you just kept your distance again."

"But... I don't know..."

"I will support you no matter what you choose." He barely finishes her sentence, and she goes from teary-eyed to bawling. He hates that what he said has pushed her over the edge. He wants her to feel happy, and for the exception of the hospital, he hasn't seen her truly happy except for those moments she is with Brianna. "Robin," he mumbles reaching out to console her, "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean…"

"It's not your fault Barney. I don't even get why I'm so damn sad. I just am. I've never left him bother me before, and yet, now, it does. I don't want what I had for her. I don't. I want her to be happy, and it's all making me unhappy…" The words kept pouring out of her mouth, until she collapses on his shoulder, the tears soaking the shoulder of his suit. He just wishes he could help. He's gone through many of his cheer up Robin tricks in the past two weeks, but now, he realizes that he has one left to try.

"Robin?" he asks, hoping that she might play along.

"Yeah?" she sniffles, pulling away from his shoulder a bit to look at his face.

"I think I have something that might cheer you up," he teases, showing off his trademark grin, hoping it will bring some sort of reaction out of her.

"Barney, now is not the time for that," she scolds, wiping the tears from her eyes. He thanks god that his lechery at least got her to stop crying. "Plus, we still have at least four weeks to go until the doctor approves us for that."

"That's not what I meant, Scherbatsky," he says, getting up from the couch and moving into the kitchen. He starts opening up cabinet doors, looking for something, before he continues. "I bought us something. I was going to save it for our wedding anniversary, but I think you need it now."

"What's that?" she questions, confused, because she has no idea what would he have put in the kitchen for their anniversary.

"This," he announces, pulling a bottle down from a high shelf.

"What's this? I mean besides the obvious answer of scotch."

"It is a bottle of scotch, but not just any bottle of scotch. It's a Balvenie Fifty."

"A fifty?" she asks, not sure she heard him correctly.

"Yep. A fifty year."

"How did you get this?"

"I heard about it and bought one," he shrugs.

"But I can't drink it. You know that," she argues.

"Yes, you can. I know the doctors said that as long as you feed her, or pump, you can have a drink." She stares at him, unsure. "When did you feed her last?"

"About a half hour ago," she sighs, not sure whether to give in. It had been a long day, but she isn't sure if she has a drink, that she will be able to stop.

"So have a half a glass," he shrugs, trying to encourage her to just enjoy herself. "You deserve it. You haven't had a drink since August."

He watches as she deliberates, and he can see it's a struggle. He understands her reasoning. He really does, yet he knows her well enough to know that she needs to relax, for her own health, and so that she can be the mom that Brianna needs.

"So should I get two glasses?"

"Yeah," she says, with the hint of a smile. "That actually sounds nice."

He jumps up, and quickly moves to the counter, pulling the glasses away from the bar area, and carrying them back to Robin.

Robin watches as he pours a finger's worth the dark amber liquid in to each glass. She's amazed by how fast the warning and comforting scent fills her nose. It had indeed been a long time.

He hands her the glass, and to her surprise, raises his own.

"To your first scotch of motherhood."

The glasses clink, and they simultaneously sip.

"I don't know whether it's good, or if I just haven't had scotch in so long," she comments, moaning slightly at the taste.

"Oh no Scherbatsky. It's damn good."

"Mmmmm, wow..."

"I was so worried it was going to be like that time we split that bottle."

"You mean the first time we were dating? And it was not any different than regular scotch?"

"That's the one," he agrees.

"Thank you, Barney. I really needed this," she says, a look of adoration spilling over her features.

"I know," he answers, pulling her in for a peck on the lips. He pulls away, and looks in her eyes, and is quickly interrupted by the sounds of what could become a wailing cry if they aren't careful.

She sighs, quickly shoving her glass in his direction.

"No," he responds quickly. "Let me get her." She sinks back, taking her glass with her, and taking a sip.

As he pulls up Bri, shushing her with calming baby talk, he can't help but notice the serene smile on Robin's face.

He takes his place next to Robin again, placing Brianna on his chest towards Robin, where she quickly snuggles up and falls asleep.

"You know, I never thought I'd say this, but nothing beats the feeling of a sleeping baby on your chest," he whispers, and Robin's smile grows.

"It is pretty great. Do you want your scotch back?"

"Nah. I've got her."

"Alright, just leaves more for me," she teases, and he immediately smiles, happy that she's finally come out of her funk.

"Go ahead. Enjoy it."

"I will. Oh, I will," she insists.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, work has been going just the way I thought. I get up early, get home, and by the time I do everything I need to do, I'm so exhausted that I can't think. I've been working on this chapter for the last few weeks, and I know almost exactly what I want to say, but I have had zero time to sit down in front of a computer, or even my phone and get it out there. But with today being Brianna's birthday, I just had to finish this.
> 
> And thanks to our wonderful Neil, I was able to add some inspiration to this chapter. If you have not seen the picture of him holding his godson that he posted on Instagram yesterday, you need to. It is absolutely adorable.


	59. Snippets of Parenthood I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's been a ridiculously long time since I've updated, but a full time teaching job, a part time coaching job, and owning a home don't really leave much time and brain power for writing. But, two chapters (one for this, one for I'll tell you my sins) in two days?! I'm impressed with myself. Here's to more coming for the rest of the summer!
> 
> On another note, I've decided to structure this a bit differently than the rest of the story. I'm going to be speeding up through time, seeing how they react with parenting, so that hopefully, I can get back to being in real time with the story! I have written ten of these little bits with little prompts that I had. Four of them are in this chapter, five will be in the next, and the last turned melded into a larger story line that I had already planned. So as long as I get some computer time over the next few days, they should be up soon! I hope you enjoy!

Robin finds herself awake one morning, without the prompting of a crying baby.

"Huh," she mumbles to herself, after slowly waking up on her own. She hadn't woken up like this since before Bri was born. It was almost unsettling, especially since Barney isn't in the room. But she figures he is just with the baby.

She pulls herself out of bed to check the nursery. It's a short trip down the hallway, but she can see before she ever exits the bedroom that the nursery door is standing wide open. She knows she hadn't left it like that after the last feeding.

When she glances in the door, she finds the room empty, just as she had grown to suspect.

She continues on, because she knows they can't be gone.

When she does find them, though, a tear starts to form in her eye, because she realizes just how sweet the scene in front of her is. She looks down at Barney, lying on his back, and on top of his chest is Brianna. It's one of the sweetest things she's ever seen, and she realizes, it's hers.

She dashes back towards the bedroom, as quietly as she can, because she needs her phone. There is no way that she is letting this moment go. Especially when she can show it to everyone she knows. She knows for a fact that Tracy and Lily will go wild over it, Ted and Marshall even more so. It's the great Barney Stinson transformed. Barney in a dad moment is never what she expected when she met him, and especially when she got to know him. But Barney with a baby is something that needs to be preserved for the record books.

* * *

It's been three days since he's been back at work, and already he's exhausted. This morning, like most mornings recently, has left him in a delirious state. He finds it strange: he used to do so well pulling all-nighters. He's not sure if it's the culmination of the nights, or the fact that he's getting older.

Needless to say, he spends most of the morning in a sleep-walking like state. He's awake, but barely. He's planning on grabbing some strong coffee on the way to work, and a few cases of red bull on the way home, because he certainly can't go on like this.

It's in this state that he rams his foot straight into the dresser. He emits a yelp, and to his chagrin not only wakes Robin, who looks even more exhausted than himself, but the baby as well. He mutters a string of curses at himself as Robin stares at him, a bit of anger in her eyes. He holds in a breath until she falls back down onto the bed with a sigh, closing her eyes and seemingly going back to sleep.

Yet within seconds, she's sitting up and reaching for the baby, pulling her own to her chest. She looks to Barney, gives him a once over, and sighs.

"Your tie is on backwards," she chuckles.

"What?"

"Your tie. It's on backwards."

He glances down, and sure enough, there is the tag, plain as day in the front. Needless to say, he couldn't have been gladder at the moment that he woke her up. A backwards tie? That would have been super embarrassing.

* * *

It had been one of those long nights; very little sleep, and a very, very cranky little girl. Yet, the night was over, and just as the sun had peaked over the horizon, an exhausted Brianna had fallen asleep in the baby wrap. This, of course, meant that Robin wasn't going back to bed any time soon.

Then again, neither was Barney. He would have to leave for work within the hour.

So they decided to join each other for their morning breakfast, a ritual that had not happened since August.

Barney pours himself a bowl of cereal, as Robin makes her way to the fridge. She just gets the milk and orange juice in her hand, as she hears the pop and hiss of a can opening.

She whips around, just in time to see him pouring the remainder of the can of Red Bull over his Frosted Flakes.

"Gross!" she exclaims, her face twisting up in contortion.

"Says the woman who poured beer on her cereal every Saturday morning for a year," Barney retorts. "If you can do it with beer, I can do it with Red bull."

"Damn it," she mutters under her breath. He's got a point.

"Point taken," she reluctantly replies.

"Besides, I've been doing it every day since I went back to work. It's the only way I make it through the morning."

"Does it at least taste good?" she asks.

"Not one bit."

* * *

The moment he steps off the elevator, he knows something's wrong. He can hear the strong piercing cries echoing down the hall. The walk to his apartment fills him with guilt. One, for all the people he's ever cursed because a crying baby inconvenienced him, and two, for leaving Robin alone with this. But he can't help it. He needs all of Robin's leave time to finish up his projects. Still, he feels guilty getting up every morning and walking out the door.

He finally fishes out his keys; unlocking the door and making his way inside. He can instantly see that Robin is a sight for sore eyes; her hair standing in different directions, her eyes as red and puffy as the baby's. She's pacing the dining room kitchen area, burp cloth over her shoulder, rubbing the back of the wailing infant cradled there.

"You look like you've had a rough day," he comments, hoping that he can help her in some way.

"You think?" she glares, and he glares right back. "Sorry," she quickly apologizes. "I didn't mean to snap. It's just... She's been crying since noon."

"It's fine, I get it," he answers, rubbing her shoulders. "I'm sorry you had a rough day. I'm sorry I'm not here more. Do you want me to take her?"

"Sure," she replies with a small smile.

"Go sit down and relax," he insists.

"With a crying baby?" she questions with a raised eyebrow.

"Maybe," he answers with a shrug. "How about taking a shower?"

"Okay," she agrees. She hands over Brianna and the burp cloth. He takes her and positions her similarly to Robin, while Robin disappears back the hall.

"Alright. Come here baby girl," he coos. "Daddy missed you." Bri starts to cry louder. "What's wrong baby? Shhhh. Shhh," he tries to soothe.

He bounces her, and praises whatever heavenly body there is out there, that Robin handed him the burp cloth. Although, the small amount of spit up can't entirely explain her all-day discomfort.

He walks and bounces, walks and bounces. Until suddenly, it seems as though the cries start to taper off. And he's left with a quietly slumbering baby.

"It's quiet," Robin mumbles, reappearing from the bedroom.

"It is," he says happily, expecting her to be joyous. Yet, the look on her faces makes her seem like she is far from.

"You've been home for fifteen minutes," she says snidely.

"Exactly," he brags.

She bursts into tears, leaving Barney confused.

"What's wrong?" he asks, rushing to her side. "I thought-"

"That I'd be happy?" she snaps. "That you could do something that I couldn't in an entire afternoon? Is that what you thought?"

"Robin, I'm sorry," he stresses. He didn't mean for any of this to upset her.

"It's real clear that one of us is the better parent here," she laments. "Maybe I should just go back to work tomorrow."

"Robin, come on," he interjects. "You are a wonderful mother."

"Yeah, I can't even get my own daughter not to cry. That's mother of the year material right there," she says, her voice dripping in sarcasm.

"She was sick," he explains. "Thank god for the burp cloth, cause she puked all over it while you were gone," he says jokingly in an attempt to lighten to mood.

"I'm going to bed," she sighs. "There are bottles in the freezer."

"Robin-" he pleads. He doesn't want her to run off like this. She doesn't need to.

"I just can't do today anymore," she mumbles, as she turns and walks away.

He watches her go in stunned silence. It's a reaction he's never seen before. He's never seen her just give up like that. He sighs, looking down at Brianna. At least one of them is happy.

"Looks like it's just you and me again today, babe."

* * *

_3/27/15_

_Parenting. Parenting is hard. Harder than I ever imagined it would be even when I didn't want children, and not wanting children was most of my life. Those of you that are parents know how hard it is. You put your life aside for your child, because you love them. There is nothing you wouldn't do. Even when they cry for hours and hours without stopping. You try to get them to stop, but they won't. But you keep trying, because that's what they need you to do, even if you are tired and sad._

_Somehow, I'm still going. I don't think I've ever been this tired, or this emotional, but I'm trying my best to keep going. I know I'll make it, but it's going to be a long hard road to get there._


	60. Snippets of Parenthood II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beach was good for me. I had a lot of time to write, and have some one shots that I am going to post, hopefully this week! Stay tuned!

"Hey baby girl, it's just you and daddy time." Barney says, lifting Bri over his head. "Mommy's taking a nap, so we have to be extra quiet."

Bri gurgles a response.

"That's right, little B," he replies, laying her on her blanket for tummy time. The minute her stomach touches the floor, however, the tiny whimpers of protest start.

"I know you don't like it, baby girl, but you have to spend some time on your tummy," he coos sweetly. "No beautiful girl like you needs a flat head."

He whimpers start to grow, but Barney is determined to keep her there. He thinks of the things he could do to distract her. She's still too young for magic, he's sure. Without object permanence, everything is like magic, but a scary kind of magic. So he does the next best thing he can think of. He crawls down on the floor, lies on his stomach in front of her, and sticks his tongue out.

Her whimpers slow, and he realizes pretty quickly that it's working. She is calming down. Her cheeks are still red, and her eyes are still puffy, but the look of curiosity on her face grows more intense.

He changes his face, now crossing his eyes and sticking his tongue out to the side. Her expression turns from curiosity to tiny hiccup-like giggles. That in turn, makes me laugh with glee. She is the best thing that could have happened to his life. He thought at one point, that Robin was the best, but now, looking at this giggling happy baby, he couldn't be more wrong.

* * *

4:37am her phone reads as Robin's awakened by the grumbling cries of Bri.

She groans loudly. She's exhausted, and wants nothing more than to go back to sleep.

"Barney," she mumbles. "It's your turn Barney."

"Are you sure?" he asks. "Didn't I get up last time?" He's sure he did.

"No," she responds quickly. "I got up last time. You slept through it."

"Sure I did," he moans sarcastically.

"I'm serious Barney. Plus it's not a feeding. She's just up."

"Fine," he agrees with a groan, although he's almost sure she's trying to pull one over on him.

He climbs out of the bed and pads quietly to the door. Robin grins to herself. As soon as he closes the door, a small yes escapes her lips. She won. She pulled it over on him.

* * *

"Hey, hey, hey!" he coos to her the minute he's in the nursery door. "Why so sad Bri? Come here, come here." He picks her up out of her crib, and smells her. "Fine there," he mumbles to himself, before cradling her in his arms.

"How about I tell you a story?" he asks rhetorically, as he paces around the nursery.

Her crying stops and he takes it as his cue to tell her some incredible ones.

"You, Brianna, are a Stinson, which means you come from a long line of great Stinsons. We've met presidents. We've been leaders in wars. We've done things for this country," he grandiosely says. "And that one's actually true," he adds in a whisper before continuing. "One of your ancestors grew up in Ancient Rome. And you are going to grow up to do something equally as awesome."

He glances down, noticing that her eyes are shut, and she appears asleep.

"Look at you, finally looking tired," he says proudly. "Just remember that no matter what you do, mommy and daddy love you. And you are asleep. Let's put you back down."

He's satisfied she's asleep after watching her for a few minutes without a stir from her.

He quietly walks back to bed, crawls back between the sheets with Robin and pulls her close. She sighs happily, snuggling up into his arm.

It isn't long before he's asleep.

* * *

"Okay, this doesn't get any less gross," Barney says to himself as he's changing Brianna's diaper. He has her on a blanket in the living room as Robin warms up some leftover take out in the kitchen.

"No, it certainly does not," Robin interjects, after overhearing his comment.

"Who's my messy baby girl?" he coos.

The corners of Brianna's mouth turn up, and to his knowledge, she's never done that before.

"Robin. Come here quick!" he exclaims.

"What? I'm kinda in the middle of-"

"No. Now," he insists.

"Fine," she replies with a groan.

"I don't want you to miss it!"

"What?"

"She's smiling!" he declares happily. Robin plops down next to him, and notices the same thing.

"Oh my god! She is!"

"So this is the first?" he asks. He's sure Robin would have told him about something like that if it happened during the day, but he can't be certain.

"Yes!" She exclaims, until she notices the smile start to fade. "Awww she's stopping."

"Who's my girl?" Barney coos, in hopes of resoliciting the reaction. "You're my girl!" They are both excited when she starts to smile again.

"Awww!" Robin exclaims. "We better get her diaper back on though."

"Yes," Barney agrees quickly. "I haven't ruined a suit so far, and I certainly don't want to start now."

They finish the change and manage to catch her in time to snap a picture.

"Are you mommy a girl?" Robin coos. She hopes that it's not just Barney that can make her smile. It would be her luck though. She's more than happily surprised to see her chubby little dimples start to form. "Yes! She did it for me too!"

"Who's mommy and daddy's little smiler?"

Bri smiles again, and this time, it's the biggest one of all.

"I wondered if Penny smiled yet," Barney says.

"I would say no. If she had, it would be all over Ted's Facebook," Robin explains.

"So we beat him again?"

"I think we did!"

"Want to put it on Facebook to brag?"

"Hell yes!"

* * *

"You two are just too cute," Robin says, looking up from her spot on the couch as Barney comes in with Brianna in the baby carrier.

"You know it," he agrees proudly, touching his nose to show her how spot on she is.

"What did you two do?"

"Just went for a quick walk in the park. She liked it outside. It's such a nice day. Did you enjoy your nap?"

"Tremendously," she says, as she pulls the baby out of the ergo. "Smells like she needs a diaper change." He takes off the carrier and she notices just how badly she needs that diaper changing. "Oh. Oh my!" she mutters.

"What?" he asks, slightly concerned by her tone of voice.

"Um..."

"What?!" he starts to panic.

"Something... Your suit. Don't panic," she says, but he's unconvinced. His suit and her look cannot go well together.

"What do you mean don't panic?!" he very nearly screams.

"Ummm... There's been a containment breach," she says in her best reporter voice.

"Of what?" he asks, horrified, because he's afraid he already knows the answer.

"A diaper variety," she says, trying to keep a smile from cracking her face. She knows the panic that is coming, and it's going to be a hilarious ride.

"Oh no," he whispers. "Oh no!" he gets louder, and soon he's at a full on shout. "It's ruined! Atticus is ruined!"

"Calm down, Barney," she tries to calm him down. "I'm sure that the cleaner can get it out!"

"But this is merino wool!"

"Come on Barney," she reasons, although she knows it's hopeless trying to reason with the unreasonable. "Seven weeks was a pretty good run. You got seven weeks without getting any baby fluids on a suit."

"But a suit is still ruined!" he cries. "You are just ridiculous!"

"It's a suit! It's a dark suit!"

"I don't care!" he whines. She stops paying attention to his crises of suits, and starts to really look at Brianna. This was indeed a full-fledged explosion. There's no way the suit would have ever gotten out of there alive. Brianna is covered: on her back, on her stomach, in her hair.

"Oh god! She's so bad. I need your help."

"No," Barney protests. "I'm not getting near that again."

"I can't do it by myself. She has some in her hair!"

"Ugh, gross!" he exclaims.

"I know."

"I refuse to get anything else on my suit."

"Then go take it off!"

"Fine." He sulks off to the bedroom to shed his suit.

"And go quick!" Robin shouts behind him. "She's starting to make me gag."

It seems like an eternity to Robin, who's holding Brianna out in front of her like a football, but he comes back just a few minutes later in just his underwear.

"You could have put some clothes on, you know."

"Yeah, but then I would just get more stuff ruined," he argues.

"Your suit is not ruined. It's not. Just get some damn baby wipes and at least wipe off her head so I can lay her down," she demands.

"Why? Why do you do this?" Barney asks rhetorically to the baby as he wipes off her head.

"She's a baby. She can't help it!"

"Yes she can!" Barney exclaims.

"Barney. Calm down. You are not helping one bit! I need you to take off her dress." He does while Robin holds her, revealing more brown than he's ever thought possible could come out of a baby. "Okay. It's clear that we need a bath."

"Yeah we do," Barney chortles, obviously suggesting a bath for him and Robin.

"Barney!"

"Sorry. Sorry." He can tell he's hit a nerve. "What can I do?"

"Go start the water. I'm going to strip her down and at least try to get some of this off."

He goes, and it's only a minute before Robin joins him in the second bathroom.

"I couldn't do it alone. She's too bad. Hold or wipe?" she asks.

"Hold, please." He takes the baby from Robin as gingerly as possible. "Seriously though. How did she do this?"

"If I knew, I'd make sure it wouldn't happen again," Robin answers.

A few wipes later, and Robin deems her clean enough for the bath.

"Alright. I think we're good. Want to go shower? I can take it from here."

"Sounds good."

"I'll see you in a few."

* * *

He gets in the shower, letting his skin soak up the hot water. He's stands there for longer than he realizes. It's been so long since he's been completely alone, and been able to revel in a long shower. He never realized just how hard these past few weeks of his life were going to be before they happened.

It had been an emotional time for the both of them. Going back to work meant little time to himself. Each waking moment was to be spent with his girls.

He used to be such a sexual person. Even during Robin's pregnancy he had found some time to, as he used to jokingly put it, read a magazine. But since the baby was born, it hadn't happened at all. Time had become such a precious commodity, and he really didn't feel like wasting it on himself. Now, though, the hot water and the stress has brought back urges he didn't know he had been missing.

He reaches for his shower gel, squirting a liberal amount in his, and massages it into himself. It amazes him how much his own touches manage to spring Lil' Barney into action. One tug, and he finds himself moaning in pleasure. He becomes so engrossed, enjoying the feeling so much, that he jumps when he feels the hand on his shoulder. In all his pleasure, he'd missed Robin open the door, shed her clothes, and join him in the shower.

"Sorry. I…." he stutters, his hand dropping immediately.

"For what?" she asks, unconvinced by his apology. To her knowledge, he hadn't done anything since Brianna's birth.

"For, well, leaving you with the mess and then doing this," he apologizes, seriously believing that she is mad.

"Barney, she's asleep," she answers, dragging her hand up and down his chest.

"Oh, good,' he replies, with an air of relief. The sexual overtones in Robin's voice continue to go straight over his head. "And clean?"

"And clean."

"And you're…"

"Happy I came in time to help," she purrs as she falls on her knees in front of him, taking him in her mouth in an instant.

"Woah," he manages to mumble.

"What? You got a problem with this?" she asks, looking up at him with seductive eyes."

"No," he insists. "I just wasn't expecting it at all."

"So I can continue?"

"God, please do."

* * *

As he opens his eyes and steadies himself against the wall, he can't help but notice Robin's enormous grin.

"God, what you do to me Scherbatsky," he murmurs.

"It's my specialty."

"Well, for what it's worth, thank you," he says, and he means it.

"Of course. I had to get your mind off that suit somehow."

* * *

Robin is exhausted to say the least. The last month and a half had been incredibly long. Brianna still had yet to figure out the difference between night and day.

"This is why I didn't want to do this mom thing," she mutters to herself as she paces the nursery with a still wailing Bri.

"Honey, just go to sleep. Mommy needs you to go to sleep so she can sleep," Robin coos, trying to move Bri as much as possible.

"How about I sing you a song?" she laughs at her own self reference. "That's still sounds cheesy. Do not tell your father I just said that. Maybe something quieter than that song. Something your grandma used to sing me," she explains, even though the baby is still crying over her.

"It's from this fantastic movie, with a magical nanny, although somehow, your father probably thinks she's the villain, but she's not. He thinks that everyone is the villain somehow. Except for the actual villain. But enough about that. It's time for you to go to sleep."

" _Stay awake, don't rest your head_ ," Robin begins to sing. " _Don't lie down upon your bed_ ," Robin's voice calms Brianna for the first time that night.

" _While the moon drifts in the skies, stay awake, don't close your eyes_ ," unbeknownst to Robin, Barney slowly opens the nursery door. He'd woken up to the sounds of his mother's favorite lullaby and thought he was dreaming, but now he can clearly see his amazing wife rocking their miracle daughter to sleep to the song he fell asleep to many times over the years.

Robin turns around, slightly startled to see him in the doorway, but she keeps singing. She doesn't want to ruin the work she's put into this so far.

_"Though the world is fast asleep_

_Though your pillow's soft and deep_

_You're not sleepy as you seem_

_Stay awake, don't nod and dream_."

She ever so slowly, places Brianna in the crib, as Barney joins her at the railing.

" _Stay awake, don't nod and dream_."

To both of their reliefs, she stays asleep away from the warmth and comfort of Robin.

"It worked," she whispers, admiring the baby, who now looks peaceful.

"Of course it worked," he answers. "She's genetically programmed to fall asleep to that song. How did you know?"

"Know what?" she asks, confused.

"That's my mother's favorite lullaby," he tells her.

"Seriously?" she asks, shocked by the thought.

"Yeah. Her Julie Andrews phase. Remember?"

"Oh yeah," she agrees, and adds, "I was singing it because my mother sang it to me."

"No wonder it worked!" he whispers excitedly. "You know, I think you could record a new album. Robin Sparkles lullaby edition."

"No," she says instantly.

"But people could use your beautiful voice to get babies to sleep!"

"And no," she says again.

"But just think of it Robin!" he exclaims, his voice getting louder.

"I'm going to bed Barney," she says as she heads towards the door.

"You could go back on tour with the wig, and the jacket!" he shouts to her as she closes the door and he can no longer see her.

On cue, Brianna starts to wail. He had woken her back up with all his antics.

"Robin!" Barney shouts, trying to get her to come back and help.

"Nope!" her shout is muffled from across the apartment.

"But-" he whines.

"She was asleep when I left. You woke her up with that. You put her back to sleep. I am going to bed," she shouts again, and he figures it's no use. At least he learned a new trick in getting her back to sleep.

" _Stay awake, don't rest your head_..."

* * *

_4/24/15_

_Of all the things that I expected parenthood to be, I never expected it to be quite so humorous. Despite the hard work and sleep deprivation, I find myself laughing at many things she does. My favorite very well may be her first diaper explosion, which happened all over one of my husband's favorite suits._

_Yet, I did expect to be sad. I don't know why, but I am. I feel different now, now that I am so far from her birth, even though it feels like only yesterday. As much as I don't miss being on bed rest, I certainly miss her being with me all the time. I miss being her home. It's a bitter sweet experience. She's already grown so much, and the future seems great and scary. I know I'll get there, but it's a slow process._


End file.
